The boys stared up from Kyle's bed to the ceiling, finding new pictures every few seconds. Both were set off to think about themselves due to a few words a schoolmate threw at them earlier. The green eyes seemed to calmly search the surface, while the blue scavenged for answers. After a solid span of silence, words cut threw the air.

"Dude, fuck Butters."

Kyle stopped his picture-finding to glance at his troubled friend. He was upset himself, but knew better than to take it personally. You can't take things like this personally. You lose friends that way.

"Stan. Get over it. We all have those days."

"No." He shifted onto his side to make eye contact with his best friend. "Who the fuck is he to tell us who we are? We know who we are. And it's like he was just waiting to say all of that to our face, like he's been thinking it for who knows how long. I thought Butters was a cool kid. I thought you know what, he's weird but whatever, he's cool. Well, never mind. Fuck Butters."

He flopped back to resume his gaze, anger subtle on his features. Kyle sighed and decided to indulge for a moment Stan's heated feelings.

"Yeah. Fuck Butters."

He felt Stan turn his head and saw the boy eying him out of the corner of his eye, but continued to stare up at the ceiling.

"I'm sure he hates us. I'm sure the only lives he values in this town are Kenny's and his own. We don't even matter. We're all nothing to Butters. But why would we be anything else?"

Stan kept his focus, so Kyle met his eyes.

"Think about all of the shit we put him through, or let him go through and never thought to help him or stop it. Think of all the times you've questioned just how the fuck he can still smile. Think of what we've done to him, what everyone's done to him. Kenny might be the only kid in town that Butters cares about that hasn't hurt him. Think about it, Stan."

Sometime during Kyle's words, Stan's eyes found a different spot to look at. Apparently on the wall behind his best friend. His face thought over the words that just filled the room. Kyle returned his eyes to the ceiling. After a few seconds, Stan did the same.

"Dude, fuck me. I am self centered."

Kyle laughed.

"I know you are. I know everything."

so i guess i wrote this sometime after Butters' awesome blow up outside the bathroom, then forgot about it. i'm just gonna leave this here..