Warning 1: This one's going to contain a HUGE spoiler from the novels.

Warning 2: This is incredibly silly and extreme (character-wise and tea-wise), it won't ever happen, but who cares?

Morbid Curiosity

Tea is not okay.

"Mai, tea!"

"Okay!" She merrily went to the kitchenette and came back.

He took a sip of it, and cringed slightly. After all these years, she still could make these horrible cups of tea?

"Mai."

She froze at the doorway.

"Make it again."

Mai knew what he meant by that, but still didn't go back to pick up the cup.

"Please," he added against his will, as he had learned to say that damned word the hard way.

"Okay," the girl went back to her boss' desk and picked up the cup to refill it. Naru was relieved it proved to be perfect this time.

Several months ago the SPR was out to investigate a poltergeist incident at an abandoned office somewhere in the outskirts of Tokyo, and that was when Naru had been particularly mean to Mai about how terrible she'd made her tea that entire day, exchanging one insult after another. The girl decided she had enough of his tea complaining antics and for some reason went downstairs, meaning to catch up on some 'sleep' and pouring her heart out in front of some dead person. Later he realized he should never let her sleep again during a case, even though it meant he would not have the help of his somewhat useful and very deceased twin brother.

That next day in the office went like this:

"You're late Mai, tea!"

"Okay!" She sounded very cheerful when taking the previous day in mind.

Kitchenette. The tea was poured. Naru's office. One incredulous glare was exchanged with a cheerful glance. What wasn't usual was the fact she remained in the office until he would take his first sip. So he did.

First reaction. He almost slammed the cup on the desk.

Terrible. Terrible. Terrible!

"Mai," he quietly said, hiding his disgust.

"Yes?" She smiled sweetly, and then he gave her the deadliest glare he was capable of. God, she was getting on his nerves so much!!

"You will not make this kind of tea. Anymore. Go away."

"That's not how you treat an office worker."

"...go."

"...will not."

Naru sighed and returned to reading one of his books. Ignore her, ignore her. Where was he? Page 92.

"Naru, I'm bored. You have a good book to read?"

What in the world.

And since when did she start using 'boku'? He mentally noted in the back of his mind.

"...you're fired."

"You can't fire someone for wanting to read a book!"

"Mai, you wouldn't even be capable of reading this, much less understanding it. This time, you crossed the line."

The glare was even deadlier this time around, but she seemed immune to it. Then Mai randomly picked up a book that was stacked on his desk and read out loud. In perfect English. On top of that, she had a British accent (it was kind of sexy too - imagine that!).

"How was that? Didn't know Mai could do that, did you?"

For once in his entire life Naru was speechless. There was a long silence before she began to laugh at the face he made.

"...oh my god," Naru simply wanted to bury his head in his arms, and just wake up from this stupid nightmare. I should have known that lack of tea-making-skills from somewhere!!

"You're not going to fire Mai, aren't you?"

"...Yes, no... maybe. Depends," Naru had never been a wishy-washy person, but he all blamed it on his now temporarily broken brains.

"Depends? I tricked her into this."

"...Then I won't fire her," he decided.

"Thanks Noll. At least she won't be angry with me as well," a cute smirk was on Mai's face. "Don't tell her okay?"

"Sure," Naru sighed and got up from his chair. "But, don't do this again. Ever."

"Thanks."

Then Naru received a hug from his possessed part-time worker and stiffened in the sudden embrace.

"Cut it out idiot."

"Can I kiss you too?"

The hell.

"...no way."

"Why not?"

After a long pause. "That's incest," Naru stated stiffly.

"We're not blood-related at the moment if that bothers you."

"You're still my brother."

"Who cares? Besides, I'm in a woman's body now!" His brother seemed awfully happy about occupying Mai now. For that very reason Naru would have personally killed him if he wasn't already a dead guy. He'd be very sorry if he had indeed been doing unthinkable things, while she hadn't been herself.

"No. No and no!" Especially not in her body.

"You like Mai, don't you?" Her fingertips touched the back of his neck.

'Don't trick me into it!' He mentally cried, while almost shivering.

"Please?! I've always wanted to kiss you."

"Why," Naru said flatly, although he already knew it meant kissing someone who looked like 'himself'.

"I'm morbidly curious, that's why," then there was a sweet smile on her lips. Too close!!

"You stupid moro-."

Naru was about to say something about the highly inappropriate word choice, but he got cut off immediately and... sadly even the amount of brain cells he possessed refused to register what happened the next couple of minutes.

(Those minutes were in fact the non-existing black pages in the life of a certain Dr. Davis.)

Then the next thing he knew was Mai sitting on her knees. Her voice was weary and breathless. "That's your punishment, Noll," it was still his brother.

"Farewell."

Mai hung her head, and Naru just stared at her.

"Idiot."

After a moment she started to speak again. In Japanese. Finally.

"W-where am I?"

He sighed deeply and went back to his desk. His voice was coarse. "Where do you think?"

"Na-naru. What happened?" Mai couldn't remember anything since the day before, and also felt a strange taste lingering in her mouth. She couldn't make out what it was.

Naru just glared at her, and returned to the book he had been reading. "Take this cup away and make me a new one. It was terrible," he ordered before Mai could ask anymore questions.

"What?"

"Please," he added without even looking at her, and she jolted up to pick up the cup with the lukewarm tea. Mai's eyes went wide. It was the nicest thing he'd ever said to her, since... a long time.

"Okay!"

Before she shut the door, she glanced back to see Naru briefly licking his lips, while writing down something in his investigation reports.