You just read the news on Facebook. You just found out that the love of your life is dating your ex boyfriend. You think it's ironic; how one of your beards ended up being your ex girlfriend's boyfriend. You want to laugh. You think it's ridiculous. You didn't know that someone that you once called your friend would do something like that to you. Is it really fair? Is it something a friend should do? Of course it's not. But yet again, you did cheat on him. And you were constantly bringing him down because of his guppy mouth. And you did use him. You bet that this is his way to get back to you for all you did. For being such a bitch to everyone. But it doesn't matter. Because Brittany is yours. Always has been always will be. Proudly so, right?

You think about the last time you had a decent conversation with her. One that was about feelings and love; not about violence or killer dance moves. You remember the way she held you. The way she sneaked up on you and squeezed your shoulders and then left a trail of her hands on your body. The same hands you would hold, kiss, and caress whenever she needed you. The same hands that would touch your body and would make you hit the most beautiful orgasms you have ever experienced. The same hands that touched your face with such delicacy whenever you two kissed. The hands of your soul mate.

You remember how happy she was when you came back. You remember how with her mouth she Said that she missed you, with her body said that she needed you, and with her looks she said that she loved you. You remember how she offered you a chance to take her back. You remember how she told you she was available. Just for you. But you turned her down. You turned her down because even if you two had gone through thick and thin together, you still doubted yourself. You still believed you weren't going to be able to give her what she needed. You had always been insecure; that will never change, especially when it comes to your precious blonde. And you also turned her down because you would have never thought that she would actually move on. Or try to move on at least. You were selfish enough to believe that she would stay there waiting for you to come back and ask her to be your girlfriend again. Isn't that what true love does anyways? Doesn't true love wait for that special person no matter what? You knew that Brittany deserved better. You know she deserves to be happy. But will she ever be with Sam? Will he treat her like the princess she is? Will he make her believe in herself even if nobody else did? Will he encourage her into doing what she wants? Will he tell her that he loves her every night so she doesn't have nightmares? Will he make her smile the same way you always did? Will he hold her hand and caress them with his thumb just to show her that their relationship wasn't just a fling? Will he look at her like he's the only girl in the world? Will she give him the same look? Will she give him your smile? Will she… be happier with him than with you?

You feel a tear run down your tanned cheeks. You wipe it away because you're about to rehearse for a big number in cheerleading practice. You try to shake off your feelings of anger and disappointment and save it up for tomorrow when you go back to Mckinley to set things right. You give yourself a confident nod and wink at yourself in the mirror and head out.

"Whoaa…" Someone says as you knock into them. "Be careful, Hot Stuff." Elaine threw you a little flirty wink that made you blush a bit. "When does practice start?"

"Umm.." You say as you take out your phone to check the time and then notice that you had a text from Brittany. "In three minutes." You mumble as you quickly open it to read it so the butterflies in your stomach calm down a bit. But as soon as you read the text, your stomach drops. One of those stupid ass chain messages again. Brittany always passed them on; she actually believed they were real. And this wasn't even a sweet one; it was one of those chain messages that if you didn't pass forward, you were going to die next Sunday. You rolled your eyes, put your phone away, and looked up to find a curious glare from Elaine.

"Everything alright?" She asks you, actually concerned.

"Fantastic." You say as you head out. You know she's looking at you. You feel her eyes burn into the back of your skull. You feel her mentally undressing you and you swear you hear her lick her lips. You wonder why you can't just sleep with her already. You wonder why you can't just give it a shot. But you give one look to the blonde in your screensaver and you instantly remember why.

(Two Days Later)

After a long ass time, you find yourself back in the auditorium. The same auditorium that developed that hidden singing passion you had always had. The same auditorium in which you made dozens of memories in. The same auditorium that supported you at your worse and cheered you on at your best. This was your third home; being the choir room your second. You knew it was best to talk to her here. The choir room would be too painful. And just as you were thinking about the devil, you hear her unforgettable footsteps walk towards you.

"I made it without using my compass." She said with a weak smile.

"Yeah." You say as you give her a big grin back. "My girl is all big now." She gives you a weaker smile and you regret what you just said. "I mean… You're all big now."

"It's ok." She says trying to make things less awkward.

After a few awkward minutes of silence, you speak up again. "Britt, I'm sorry about what happened yesterday. It wasn't my intention to fracture his both arms, break his lip, and cut his hair. Really it wasn't."

She gives you a small laugh. "That was mean, San."

"I knowww…" You say as you catch her contagious smile. "I really am sorry."

"I know you are." She says as her smile gets bigger. "I know you're just a huge softie at heart." She gently pokes the area where your heart lies and you feel it stop. Your skin, even if it wasn't touched by her, burns at the simple gesture and you feel your legs betraying you. You realize how much you need that touch. You realize how much you need to kiss her. You realize how much she takes over. And it petrifies you. No, it breaks your heart. It was scary when she was your girlfriend because you hated being so out of control. But now it breaks your heart because you're hopelessly involved with someone who may not want you back. You feel your eyes burn and you quickly look down so she doesn't catch your tears.

"Are you ok?" She asks with a concerned voice. Oh, how you've missed it…

"Just please tell me, Britt…. You wanted us to meet to tell me which one you were going to choose… So, just tell me… Please." She has you begging now as you fight against the urge to cry.

"Neither." She mumbles in a way that you barely hear.

"What?" You ask not believing what you're hearing.

"Neither." She says again with a more confident voice.

You know it's better than her being with Sam. You know its one step closer to her being with you. You know that means that she's single now and that you can do to her whatever you want with her. But that doesn't stop the words from breaking your heart. Because all hopes you had of having her back vanished with those two syllables. "Why?" You ask with a cracked voice.

"Because Sam makes me smile, but you're the one who makes me happy. And you make me happy, but it breaks my heart whenever I need someone here to hold me and you're not right next to me." She says with a small voice.

You know she's right. You know you can't give her anything right now. You know you can't hold her as often, kiss her goodbye, hold her hand in scary movies, or even tell her how much you love her as much as she deserves. You know she has all the right in the world to not get back together with you. You know that no matter how much you try to make her happy, you never will simply because you're so far away. Unless…

"What if I come back?" You say without thinking, just because you need her THAT much. "What if I quit college and wait for you to graduate and then we can both go to NY together? It's everything we've ever wanted Britt." She closes her eyes and shakes her head and you know that you're not convincing her enough. "I'll be here with you all the time. I'll help you study, I'll help you take care of Lord Tubbington, I'll be your prom date, I'll give you amazing lady sex all day, and whatever else you want, Britt. I'll give you the world and the stars and the moon. Let's just get back together and we'll-"

"No…" She says. "I won't let you do that. You deserve better than this, San. You can't waste your life away like this."

"I won't! I'll get a job! I'll get a job where ever you want me to! And that way I won't waste my life! Just Britt, please, I'm begging you." You say already in tears. You won't lose her again. You just won't.

"You're better than a job in the town you mostly hate. Don't do this to yourself…" She begs back.

"I just need YOU to be happy. Let me have that. Don't take it away from me." You say as sobs overtake your body.

"I won't let you." She says firmly, barely letting my tears move her.

"I don't care what you say, Britt, I'm coming back and we're getting back together." You say in the most selfish way possible. You know you shouldn't say that. But you're stubborn. You won't lose her…

"Fine." She says almost annoyed. "You want to come back? Be my guest. But one thing is for sure; I won't get back together with you. No matter how much you beg and cry, I won't get back together with you. So there's no use in doing so."

You give her a hurt look. You're emotions go from deep sadness to anger. To hopelessness. To hate. How can she do that to you? How can she tell you she won't get back together with you no matter how much you try? You feel your heart's broken pieces break into thousands of more. So you just ask her the one question that has been hunting your mind for days now. "You don't love me anymore, do you?"

"I do love you." She answers in a heartbeat. "That's why I'm doing this. Because you're too good for this town and I don't want you to be like a Finn. I want you to go out and make your dreams come true. Because that's what the Santana I know would do. I don't want the scared Santana that I had to deal with for so long. I want the Santana I love. The real you. This isn't you. I just want you to be happy."

"What if I promise to leave once you graduate?" You try to compromise as you control your tears.

"I don't want that." She says with a shrug. "You either leave or you lose me. It's your choice."

"I lose you either way." You say between gritted teeth. You weren't mad with her, you were mad at the circumstances. But she knows you better than anybody, so she just keeps talking.

"Here." She hands you a piece of paper. "It's Kurt's number in case you didn't have it."

"Why would you give me Kurt's number?" You ask as you eye the digits.

"A few weeks ago he had asked me about you. He told me that ironically both he and Rachel missed you and that he couldn't help to think about you when he was handed a job offer. Apparently there's this bar that hires the best unknown singers to sing there and some of the owner's sons are friends of his so they asked him to look for some new talent. Apparently the first person he thought about was you since it seemed like your environment and he said it was a shame that you were in college because you could have left with them and work there. So I say you should call him and ask for the job offer."

"I'm not going to NY to live with Hummelberry. They wouldn't allow it." You say as you quickly shut down the idea.

"They would." She says with a confident nod. "It's your ticket out of here. I suggest you take it." She spins around and starts to walk away. You eye her, not believing what was going on. It broke your heart to leave her, but watching her leave breaks your soul. Now you finally understand how she felt…

"I'm not leaving!' You yell out in anger. She just keeps walking, not letting anything stop her.

"Did you hear me?!" You scream out even louder. "I'm not leaving! I'm not leaving you again!"

She keeps walking.

"I'm not doing this to us!" You scream out even harder as she opens the door. "I'm not!" You yell out of the top of your lungs as the auditorium's door closes and the sounds echoes around.

You don't know what happens next. All you remember is screaming that you're not leaving a few more times as you bawl your eyes out in the one place you used to call your home.

(2 Weeks Later)

You're currently making out with a very drunk Quinn. You taste the tequila in her lips and tongue as they play inside of your swollen mouth. You don't know how you ended up in this hotel room with Quinn. All you know is that you both had paid the hotel room before hand and had planned on getting wasted together, but once you saw Brittany bring Sam as her date to the wedding, you suddenly couldn't drink as much as you wanted to. Because last time you got drunk, it was with her. This was something you couldn't do with just anyone; especially Quinn. Then one thing led to the other and a just broken up Quinn threw herself to you without even noticing it since she was so drunk. You couldn't bring yourself to stop it. You were too hurt to try.

She took off your jacket in one quick motion and that was when you knew that she liked it rough. You weren't going to lie; you liked it rough too. But you knew you weren't going to like rough Quinn simply because she wasn't rough Brittany.

"Ohh professor, I'm going to make you come so hard…" Quinn said in between drunken giggles. You realize that she is now suddenly naked and you're kind of surprised. Are you zoning out that much? You decide to not say anything because she thinks that you're her professor and you don't want her to realize that it's you because in a way you want to release. You want to liberate all the sexual frustration Brittany's long legs caused you all day. You want to fuck somebody else. She probably has. Why not you? All you've been doing these last two weeks is looking at the number Brittany gave you and the contact you had saved on your phone, wondering if it's the right thing to do. It's all you deserve.

You find yourself on top of Quinn, already naked, caressing her body while you keep making out with her. She moans into your mouth a couple of times and between gritted teeth asks you to fuck her.

You rub circles around her clit and you notice how she's wet but not nearly as wet as Brittany was always for you. You wonder if you're doing something wrong, but once you notice that you're not soaking yourself, you realize that you're not. She just doesn't love you and you don't love her.

"Ugh, that feels so good…" She says as she closes her eyes and runs her fingers through her nipples. You look at her nipples and notice how they're darker than Brittany's. Brittany's pink nipples are something beautiful and unforgettable. You try to remember all those times that you sucked her nipples and she moaned in appreciation as you rubbed Quinn harder.

"Just fuck me…" Quinn says with a low, lustful voice. You insert your index finger inside of her and notice how Brittany's opening was always more majestic. How her insides felt like heaven to your fingers. This just feels.. Hollow to you. Quinn moans in appreciation so you insert another finger and start pumping really fast. Quinn's breathe quickens and she starts rocking into your hand. You close your eyes because Brittany sometimes would do the exact same thing. You find it funny how even though you have one of your hottest friends about to reach an orgasm right in front of you, you can't help but think about Brittany. You're really that in love.

You quicken your pace wanting to get this over with. You can't bear to have Quinn ruin some memories between you two. She moans a few more times and then her whole body starts shaking. Once she comes undone you open your eyes and find Quinn giving you a seductive smile. "Now it's your turn."

You just lay down on the other side of the bed, looking like you couldn't care less because honestly you couldn't. You just want release to get rid of her. She goes down to you and licks your clit, making you instantly hornier.

"You have a small dick." Quinn mumbles in your sensitive area. "But that's ok." You scoff at her comment because if she's drunk enough to actually think you have a penis then it doesn't surprise you how Puck got her pregnant. She suddenly starts eating you out with such force and agility that it shocks you. You hadn't felt this good since the last time you actually did this which was with… Brittany. Your energy dies a little even if Quinn's oral is magnificent. You find yourself remembering all those times in which Brittany got down on you and made you come so hard in her mouth. You remember how she always knew your soft spot and what made you crazy and what you didn't like. You remember how hot she looked with her mouth covered in your juices. You remember how she would make you moan like nobody else does. You remember everything, making you once again very horny. But one look at Quinn and the mood dies down. That was when you knew what you had to do.

You close your eyes and imagine Brittany caressing your insides and clit with her mouth. You imagine her perfect body on top of you. You imagine her touching herself for you. You imagine her pumping in and out some slender fingers. You imagine her scissoring with such force it made you dizzy. You imagine her making love to you. And then you come undone…

"Brittany!" You scream with force and instantly regret it once Quinn starts giggling. But you relax because you realize that she is too drunk to notice. She comes up a little bit and lies down next to you and closes her eyes with a lazy smile. You don't even bother looking at her because you know she's about to fall asleep and honestly you're regretting it already. You turn away from her and cover your body with some sheets. You could put some clothes on, but Quinn's face once she wakes up and realizes that they had sex would be priceless. You look at the hotel's clock and watch the minutes pass by. You wonder what she's doing right now. You wonder is she is in this very hotel sleeping with Sam. You wonder if she's also thinking about you. You wonder if she's cuddling with Lord Tubbington. That thought makes you smile. You keep watching the minutes pass and then let yourself fall asleep.

(3 Hours Later)

You wake up with sweat all over your body. You're panting and shaking as you wake up from the usual nightmare. It's mostly about you breaking up with Brittany and then going back to her to find her having sex with Sam or marrying him or something. You're used to it by now, but it still breaks your heart. A few minutes later you calm down. You pick up your phone from the nightstand and notice how you have 4 messages… All from Brittany. Your eyes widen as you can't believe your back luck. You quickly read them all:

From: Brittany (11:47 PM): Hey Santana… I umm… Can we talk? I rented us a hotel room since I'm almost sure that you don't have a room. If that's ok with you. It's room 469. Please come?

From: Brittany (12:30 AM): I know you're probably still up.. So please talk to me? Please….

From: Brittany (2:57 AM): Santana… You know I hate sleeping alone in new beds… Please… answer me… I'm getting worried…

From: Brittany: (3:10 AM): Fine… I totally get how you don't want to talk to me. It's ok. It's my fault anyways. Bye :/

You smile at all her texts but one look to your side and as soon as your eyes fall on Quinn's body your smile fades away. You feel guilty. You feel dirty. And even though you aren't with Brittany anymore, you feel like you cheated.

So… You decide to give her what she deserves… The truth.

To: Brittany (3: 20 AM): I slept with Quinn…

(30 Minutes Later)

You find yourself staring at a hurt Brittany in room 469. After you sent her that text, she asked you to come anyways, so you put anything you could find on and went there as quietly and quickly as you could. After you saw her red and swollen eyes, everything felt heavy. The guilt was getting worse. You've already apologized a thousand times so now you're just staring at her as she stares at the door with empty eyes.

"Why?" Brittany whispers. You take a deep breath and decide to give her an honest answer.

"Because I saw how you got here with Sam and how he was your date."

She looks at you with eyes filled with disappointment. "He wasn't my date. He was just my ride."

"Oh…" You say as you look down, suddenly too embarrassed to look up.

"But that wasn't what I asked." You shyly look up again. "Why didn't you leave?"

You scoff. "I told you I wasn't leaving."

"And I told you we weren't going to get back together!" She raised her voice, making you quickly be taken aback.

"I was at least going to try!" You say as you defended your love for her.

"Santana, I'm graduating in a few months! You're wasting your time! Just leave and get your life started!"

"I don't want to start my life without you, Britt! Don't you get it?! Wherever is it that I go, I want it to be with you! I can't handle being alone anymore!"

"You clearly can't, little Miss I Fuck Quinn Because Brittany Made Me Jealous!"

Hearing Brittany swear made you realize how much you fucked up. "I said I'm sorry, Britt.. What else do you want from me?"

"Being here won't make you any good." She says as she calms herself down. "Santana, I just want you to go get what you deserve. I want you to follow your dreams. I want you to be happy. Why can't you do this for me?"

"Because I don't know if once I leave, I'll lose you for good." You admit.

"Can't you just trust the love we have for each other?"

You close your eyes. "Why trust when I can do something about it?"

"Ugh!" She sighs in frustration. "Why are you so stubborn?!"

"Why are YOU so stubborn?!"

"Santana, I'm trying to help you!"

"I just need your love!"

"Stop being so clingy!"

"Look who's talking about being clingy! Why did we break up in the first place?!"

She gives you a hurt look and you instantly regret the words that came out of your mouth. "Britt, I'm-"

Before you can finish your sentence, Brittany grabs her purse and heads out of the door. You know you should try to stop her to talk, but you're both tired and upset so it won't do any good. You walk to the bed and that's when you notice a paper on the floor. Knowing that it must be Brittany's, you pick it up. You unfold it two times and you find a list written in crayon. Many crayons. You smile because you know she wrote it. But then you let yourself read it. You read a list of different universities and colleges. Some are circled, others are written across, and others have apparently some "miles between the apartment and this college" and the number of miles. You eye it confused because you didn't know Brittany wanted to go to college. But then you see how they all have something in common; they're all in New York.

You let yourself have a genuine smile because you realize that this was Brittany's plan all along; to get you to leave so she can come with you later. She wasn't planning on leaving you behind. She was planning on setting you free so she can follow you into your dreams later. You feel bad because of all the fights you've been having because she clearly loves you more than anything. You feel bad because you've been so stubborn when you should at least go with the flow. You feel bad because you know she was just testing your relationship so you could both grow up and mature. But it's all good… because at least now you have something that you didn't have before: Hope.

You quickly take out your phone and type out a text you should have sent a long time ago.

To: Kurt (3: 54 AM): Got room for one more?