Title: It Matters To Me
Song: It Matters To Me
Artist: Faith Hill
Date: April 13th, 2008
Disclaimer: Like it needs pointed out Will and Athena are all that's mine here and I've only got them because my sister gave up custody.
A/N: OK so I've been going through old stuff piled on my desk lately and in the margin of a page full of notes in German… was the song "It Matters to Me" Faith Hill then next to it I'd written Post GG1 (meaning Girls Guide to hunting and fishing) Kaela/Dean. Sam's refusing to work with me at the moment and I'm about ready to strangle the boy, though I've got reason to believe he'd like that. Twisted pup. So I figure with Sammy acting up I'd ignore him and write another rambling or maybe a songfic. I grabbed up a few pages and looked up the songs to see what sparked my idea and upon hearing Faith belt out her lyrics on you tube I decided this song fits Will/Athena a bit better. Hope you agree. ALSO I want all of you to go listen to or read the lyrics to Dixie Chicks (Yeah I know they dissed the president no one plays their music anymore I'm sorry I enjoy them and still listen when the fancy strikes) "If I Fall (you're going down with me)" and tell me what couple you think that is. I've got it written down as Dean/Autumn before Viva Las Vegas, but it could also be Will/Athena, or if you have someone better tell me. Or if you think I've lost my mind and need to get back to the stories at hand I'm open to that too. ANYWAY much love and please send reviews guys. I know its asking a lot but I live on those things. I write better when I have them, and they make getting through the constant badgering about writing being a waste of time a little easier.
Baby tell me where'd you ever learn
To fight without sayin' a word
Then waltz back into my life
Like its all gonna be alright
Don't you know how much it hurts
When we don't talk
When we don't touch
When it doesn't feel like were even in love
It matters to me
When I don't know what to say
Don't know what to do
Don't know if it really even matters to you
How can I make you see
It matters to me
Maybe I still don't understand
The distance between a woman and a man
So tell me how far it is
And how you can love like this
cause I'm not sure I can
When we don't talk
When we don't touch
When it doesn't feel like were even in love
It matters to me
When I don't know what to say
Don't know what to do
Don't know if it really even matters to you
How can I make you see
It matters to me
Will watched her from across the room and wished the song on the radio would go off. He didn't care for relating to songs under the best of circumstances. Even when it was a good song about getting down and dirty with some hot little number that could really knock your socks off with a smirk, he wasn't thrilled. But when the song was sang by Faith Hill and she was belly aching about her man not treating her right and breaking her heart he had two reactions. First was to go kill Tim McGraw because a woman as beautiful as Faith Hill not only marries you but gives you a handful of daughters and her whole heart you don't do anything to hurt that even if it kills you. His second reaction was to beat his head on the bar top.
He was the one who had walked off and left. He was the one who had screwed up and ruined everything he had with a certain blonde who gave Faith a run for her money. If he was the one in the wrong why did he feel like he was being wronged? Why was her silence and ignoring him followed by her let's be friends routine killing him? She should be the one sitting here watching him shoot pool and throw back shots like the world was all sunshine and roses. She should be the one torn up because he was back in her life and wanted to act as if nothing had happened.
Athena looked up from the pool table and smirked in his direction, she whispered something into the ear of a green hunter she'd been flirting with all night just to watch his bet on the game raise. The newbie snorted, glancing in his direction, and laid a hand on her rear. Will set his jaw and even Athena looked pissed but she didn't move to correct the kid shooting a ball into the right pocket. She was teasing him much the way she always had and he hated it. He watched till her game was over and she came over to sit next to him, ordering a beer from Gus who served it with a caution that it would be her last drink tonight. No one had ever let little Teenie Daemon get plastered or even tipsy when they knew Autumn would be the one cleaning up the mess.
"Making friends over there?" He asked teasingly because if he didn't act unbothered her smile would falter and she'd know where his thoughts had been.
"Are you kidding? I can't wait to shake the twerp. I'm more interested in Marc than him." She laughed and he had to chuckle with her. "Besides, if I really wanted to go hunter I know what door to knock on." There it was, his flicker of hope! It shone in her eyes long enough for him to know she was still in love with him the way he was with her then it was gone. Just as quickly as it had come it was gone and he wasn't sure he hadn't imagined it.
"You know my door is always unlocked, Corny. Just have to open it and I'm waiting." He promised. He had so much to make up for but making her know this was what it really came down to. She smiled slightly, and he knew the alcohol consumption was behind it.
"I'll have to keep that in mind."
"Come on, Miss Daemon." Will said shaking his head and taking her hand. He grabbed her beer, Dean could down it when he got her to the cabin or it could be stuck in the fridge. "I'll take her tab when I get back." he told Gus who nodded too busy watching a poker game that was sure to end in a black eye or four. Athena let him lead her outside and he walked her around she wasn't too far gone, just enough that her tongue was lose. He was so tempted to press her for information but that was cheating. Cheating was off limits.
"You're an idiot, you know that?" she asked as they walked hand in hand along the rows of cabins.
"I think you've made that pretty clear." He nodded.
"Any other guy would give up and move on if I were to do them like I do you." she mused aloud.
"Corny," he started and she rolled her eyes.
"Yeah I know, you love me. You're different. You leave in the middle of the night without a word and a hole in your heart. You did realize you physically had a hole in your heart right?"
"You did realize that after the leithfold killed me it would only kill you right?" He countered.
"I don't give a damn what it would have done to me!" She spat turning on him suddenly. All her coyness from in the bar was gone. She wasn't beating around the bush like she usually did. This was one of those rare moments, that only came when she was intoxicated by something and not always booze, where she fessed up and told him exactly what got her. "I love you! All I cared about was getting you taken care of, that was my job. I needed to take care of you and ran away. Will, it wouldn't have touched you. It wouldn't have gotten me either. That's the whole point of being together is that you have someone that has your back at all times. You left me uncovered, and even worse put yourself in danger to do it."
"Athena, how can you be so sure things would have gone so well?" He asked baffled and angry.
"I'm your good luck charm, said so yourself. You beat all odds when I'm there." He laughed hollowly she was delusional, she sounded so much like a little kid saying that. "We'd have thought of something, Will, but you didn't give us a chance. You didn't give us a chance, and now you're pissed because I won't give you a chance. I can't keep risking it for you. I can't be your fool."
He'd had enough, he wasn't good with words, but what hunter was? Actions were easier, so he pulled her to him fast enough that she couldn't react and put her hand to his heart pressing it there so she could feel its beat. She just stared at her pale hand on his thin t-shirt a moment before looking up into his eyes, as always when finding themselves in close quarters they'd lost their trains of thought. Her lips were parted slightly as if there was something she needed to say but he didn't give her time inclining his head and kissing her with all he had. He poured everything he couldn't say into that kiss pinning his final hopes on it. When his lungs demanded, and not a second sooner, he broke away and stepped back letting her chose the next movement.
"Teenie, I'm your fool. Don't think otherwise for a second."