okay, I'm taking a break from weeks of writing dark
philosofic to get out a little fluffy sweetness. this
is what I get for letting myself get dragged kicking
and screaming into the holiday spirit....
title: The Sweet Baboo Dance
author: Casix Thistlebane
disclaimer: the characters are property of Fox and
Joss Whedon, Charlie Brown Christmas was created by
Charles Schultz (rip), Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer
is someone else's fault, Michael Stipe, the flea, and
Drew Barrymore are property of themselves and came
together last year on Olive the Other Reindeer, and
Christians and the Pagans is by Dar Williams and
thanks to my suitemate for playing that song at me!
summary: Xander's first Christmas away from home. it
has to be better than the 19 years outside.
The Sweet Baboo Dance
by Casix Thistlebane
December 19, 2000
8:00 pm
"It'll be romantic." Anya was looking fondly at the
tiny evergreen she'd just finished placing on Xander's
trunk-turned-coffee table. "We'll have a tree and
presents, and we can curl up on the couch with hot
cocoa to watch tiny cartoon characters spout
sentimental drivel and feel all nostalgic for the good
old days."
Xander pulled a bag of popcorn out of the microwave
and popped a few still steaming kernels into his
mouth. "Okay. The only problems being that a) I
always watch Charlie Brown Christmas with Willow, b)
the tree is made of cheap imitation plastic, and c)
the hot cocoa would just be weird, what with it being
eighty degrees outside."
"We can still watch Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and,
ooo, that cute one with the flea and Michael Stipe!"
"Good point, but I can't feel nostalgic because I
haven't actually seen either and did you just say
something about Michael Stipe and a flea?"
"And Drew Barrymore. It was on last year when you
wouldn't let me come over because you'd be embarrassed
by the fact that you sleep in the yard every year.
Which has to be one of the most suicidal things I've
ever heard! You could have been eaten AND we couldn't
have romantic Christmas gift innuendo!"
"Yeah." Xander bit into another handful of popcorn
and looked over at the little tree. "I guess I don't
have to do that this year. Ooo, lets make a popcorn
chain for the tree!"
"You've never had a real Christmas, have you?" Anya's
eyes got all soft and pitiful, which made Xander
twitch. He had to make a joke, quick.
"Yeah. I never had to worry about being disillusioned
about Santa Claus because my parents never bothered to
tell me the myth." That didn't work. Anya's eyes
just got even softer. "What about you? You've spent
the last thousand years being vengeance girl. Not
what I'd call a 'normal' Christmas."
"We still had Christmas back when I was first mortal.
I think. Maybe it was Solstice? We had a tree...."
"Tell you what, we'll have our first Christmases
together. What could be more romantic than that?"
"And sexual Christmas gift innuendo?"
"Do you want your gift now or on Christmas?" Xander
raised an eyebrow and pulled off his work shirt. Anya
took the popcorn and grinned.
"Can't I have both?"
An hour later, the popcorn was cold, the tree still
bare and they were both dressed only in the tinsel and
garlands Anya had bought with the tree. They sat
curled together on the couch with mugs of chocolate
milk.
"My marshmallows won't melt." Anya leaned against
Xander's sweaty chest.
"We can probably fix that. But you wanted to cool
down."
"We still need to decorate."
"I think this is perfect."
"We can't put this on our Christmas cards."
"True," Xander sat up a bit and looked around the
apartment. "Where do you want to start?"
"The ceiling." Anya took a long sip and stared at the
ceiling fan. "Let's cover it in missel toe."
"Then we'd have to kiss everyone, all the time."
"Just in the bedroom then."
"Deal."
December 23, 2000
7:45 pm
*Loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo*
"So that's what Christmas is all about." Anya smiled
as she noted the similarity between Charlie Brown's
tree and her little glittery one. There were already
a few small gifts from various scoobies under the
tree. "I'm sorry Willow couldn't come."
Xander shrugged. "She'll see it at our Christmas
party."
"Do we really have to have them all over on Christmas
Eve?"
"Sure. They'll be gone in plenty of time for us to
have a romantic evening. But Buffy, Dawn and their
mom need to get out of the house and be surrounded by
friends. And since Giles doesn't have anyone to
celebrate with, and I bought that menorah and all the
colored candles so we can have a multi-faith
celebration for Willow and Tara."
"Okay. So long as they're gone by midnight. I want a
warm, close Christmas with people I love."
"You don't love them?"
"They still don't like me."
"Nonsense. They agreed to come, didn't they?"
Anya just frowned and changed the subject. "Won't
Willow be upset that we're just watching a Christian
based special?"
"I've got the Rugrats Hanukkah special too." Xander
hit stop and started rewinding the video. "Besides,
she has to see the Snoopy Dance."
"You never do the Snoopy Dance for me."
"The Snoopy Dance is for Willow. You don't want to
have to share it with her."
"But Willow has a dance. I don't even have that."
Xander smiled at the VCR and hit play suddenly. He'd
memorized the counter for the video years ago, and the
dance scene came on immediately. He stood, bounced
from foot to foot on his toes, waved his arms and
"ponied" around in a circle. His hair, already mussed
from lying on the couch, swung ever so slightly from
side to side as he moved his head in time with his
feet. Anya's laughter filled the room.
"What are you doing?"
"The Little-Red-Headed-Girl Dance! Try it."
It took some urging, and Xander had to put the music
on repeat from his CD so he wouldn't have to rewind
the video again. Soon enough, Anya got the hang of
it, and even managed to comment on having "naturally
curly hair" through her laughter.
Xander kicked out his toes, shrugged his shoulders up,
and bobbed his head forward. When Anya gave him a
look, he explained: "The Linus Dance." He bobbed
closer to her, and she started turning again. They
met in front of the TV, where Lucy was pestering
Schroder about Jingle Bells, and kissed. Xander
wrapped his arms around her waist and spun her around,
lifting her off the floor.
"What dance is this?" Her voice was breathless
between kisses.
"The Fred and Ginger Dance." Xander set her down but
didn't let go. "It's not Peanuts, but it'll do."
They kissed again and she moved toward the bedroom
door. "I have something for you."
"Innuendo?"
"A real present." She was going to explain further,
but the phone rang. Xander kissed her quickly and
promised to join her again in a moment.
Anya slipped into the bedroom and pulled a small,
neatly wrapped box she'd been hiding since they
decided to have a real Christmas together. She hoped
she had the Christmas traditions figured out right.
What if Xander hated it? He gave her so much, and she
wanted to do something sweet and perfect in return.
She hoped he liked it.
She ducked back into the main room, and stopped
mid-grin as she saw the pale look on Xander's face as
he meekly said good-bye and hung up. He stood staring
at the phone, his shoulders shaking, and Anya set her
gift on the coffee table and wrapped her arms around
him.
"What's wrong? Who was that?"
"My mom." His voice was little more than a hoarse
whisper and he clasped her hand as tightly as his jaw.
"She wants me to go home for Christmas."
December 24, 2000
3:00 pm
"Xander, you're not going!"
Xander looked around for his jacket, and wondered if
he should bring a gift. But he was still not quite
old enough to give them what they really wanted. He
knew which stores wouldn't bother to card him but
didn't want to add to their habit. "They're my family
Anya." He shivered. He didn't want to go. It was
about the last thing he wanted to do. But his mother
had sounded heart broken on the phone. "We've talked
about this. I owe them something. I'll just go for a
few hours, and be back in plenty of time for the
party."
"You owe them exactly what they gave you: nothing.
You've never had family togetherness on Christmas
before, why start now?"
"They never asked me before." Xander found his coat
and finally settled on one of the bottles of sparkling
cider they'd bought for the party. With his luck,
they wouldn't notice the difference. "Look, I need to
do this. I need closure, time to actually say so long
and thanks for all the therapy. They don't usually
get really drunk till dark anyway. I'll be back long
before then."
"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"
Xander didn't reply. He didn't know the answer. He
just kissed her and headed out. Anya cursed, grabbed
her coat, and followed.
"Anya, what are you doing?"
"If you're so determined to go then I'm going with
you."
"No. I don't want you getting hurt."
"I thought you said you'd leave before they got
violent!"
"Anya--"
"If you're going to be fine then there's no reason I
can't go. I'm not letting you go back alone."
"They won't leave you alone just because you're a
guest. I'm not going to let them hurt you."
"What about you? Do you think I want you hurt?"
Xander turned away and muttered something. Anya
grabbed his arm and spun him around.
"What did you say?"
"I said I'm used to it!" Xander shouted and Anya was
suddenly very aware of how much larger he was than
her. His hand was so tight on the bottle that the
foil ripped and his knuckles went clear. She saw
veins sticking out on his hands and released his arm,
her heart breaking ever so slightly as she became
suddenly aware of the anger he kept hidden just under
the surface. He would never hurt her, she knew that,
but she recoiled anyway.
Xander's face crumpled as he saw her back up and he
sucked in a deep breath to calm himself.
"I'm going alone."
He left before she could argue.
December 24, 2000
5:35 pm
The moment the knock came on the door, Anya ran to
open it. She'd been fidgeting for hours and finally
had spent her time watching Christmas specials on
cable while waiting for Xander to come home. She
flung the door open and was startled by Tara and
Willow yelling "happy holidays" and thrusting a large
box at her. She blinked at them.
"You're not Xander." She made it sound as though they
had just committed the worst crime of all Which of
course they had.
"Is he not here?" Tara frowned. "We wanted to come
early. Willow kept telling me about he Snoopy Dance
and said I had to see it."
"I'm sure it's cute." Anya assured her. Her mind, as
usual, was focused somewhere else. "But Xander's not
back and its almost dark out."
"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be back soon." Willow
toyed with the end of her sweater. "Besides, he's
spent every Christmas after dark outside since he was
eight. Can we come in?"
"He has?" Tara gave Willow a horrified look. Willow
deftly avoided the topic with the skill bourne of
years of practice.
"While the hallway is nice--I mean, off white walls
and everything!--it's kind of like wow, inside
Xander's apartment! Complete with furniture and--and
decorations and--yeah, he spends every Christmas Eve
outside to avoid his family's drunken fights."
Tara looked concerned while Willow cast about for a
new topic. Anya rescued her from further
explanations.
"Yeah, but he isn't year except that he went over
there to visit and he said he'd be back by now!"
"He's at his parents?" Willow's face drained of
color. "On purpose?"
"Did you try calling them?" Tara shifted the box from
hand to hand nervously. "Maybe he's on his way home?"
"I can't call," Anya fidgeted again. "Because what
would I say? I mean 'hi, tell your son to get his ass
back to his apartment the guests are arriving'? Wait,
that might work."
"You didn't think of it, didja?" Willow gave a little
smirk. "But, um, maybe we should go over there?
'Cause while Xander's usually a really together guy,
he's not above drinking, especially when he's with his
family...."
"Okay, where's your car?"
"Right. Calling." Willow and Tara followed Anya in.
Tara carefully set their present on the floor by the
trunk, noting that it was a little too big for fitting
under the tree. She then sat down next to Willow and
squeezed her hand.
"He's fine."
"Of course he is. How can he not be? He's only with
his psycho-abusive parents whom he used to HIDE from
every year,"
"There's no answer!" Anya slammed her palms down on
the counter. "How far is it to walk?"
"A couple of miles, if we avoid direct paths through
vampire infested dark places." Willow said, then
jerked up straight. "He didn't walk, did he? 'Cause
it's one thing to just be in your yard at night, but
in the graveyards--"
"He drove."
A knock had just barely finished vibrating the door
when Anya flung it open, to reveal a pleased looking
Giles.
"We wish you a— now see here, where are we going?"
Willow explained as she and Anya ushered him down the
stairs to the car. Tara tacked a quick note on the
metal door with a refrigerator magnet and followed.
December 24, 2000
5:50 pm
Xander rubbed his shoulder from where his father's
fist had connected just before he'd managed to duck
out the back door. He accelerated, wanting nothing
more than to get back home to his real family and away
from the people he'd been forced to spend 19 years of
his life with. He was only glad that Rory had
distracted his father with a cup of champagne while he
made good his escape with a plate of cookies. It was
like old times again, only this time, he didn't have
to spend the night alone in his yard.
He took a corner a little too fast, and had to stop
and back up before he realized that yes, that was Dawn
stalking down the street looking annoyed and near
tears.
He had to park the car, get out, and shout her name
before she realized he was there.
"Xander!" She ran over to him, and stopped just short
of throwing her arms around him. They sat down on the
hood of his car in the deserted street. "I was just
heading to your apartment."
"On foot, minus one sister and mother?"
"Yeah. So?" Dawn tried to look unaffected, but tears
managed to sneak out of the corners of her eyes.
"Mom's still pretty tired, so Buffy declared we
weren't going to go. I said that even if she didn't
want to have any fun on Christmas, than at least I
should be able to, and she yelled at me for not
sharing with the family, and I called her a name, so
Mom yelled at me, and I finally just left. Buffy
tried to stop me, but I ducked through Mrs. Finster's
bushes and she couldn't fit."
Xander nodded and offered her a cookie. "Families can
be tough sometimes." He lay back carefully on the
hood of the car, and gestured for her to do the same.
She noticed his slight flinch, and he smiled. "Yeah,
mine's one of the toughest there is. Seriously,
Buffy's only trying to look out for you and your mom.
I know you know that."
"But Mom still wanted to go until Buffy said she
couldn't. She wasn't even going to call, I don't
think. She was too busy trying to be Super-Caretaker
to think about it."
"You should be happy to have someone looking out for
you." Xander bit into a cookie of his own. "Only
person I ever had for that was Willow. And Jesse, but
I don't think you ever met him."
"What happened to him? Did he move?"
"He was turned by vampires. I had to stake him
myself."
"Oh. That sucks."
Xander smiled at the stars. "Just a bit."
They sat there in silence for a moment. Xander wanted
to give Dawn a chance to recover her emotions before
suggesting they return to the apartment. Finally,
Dawn spoke up.
"You know, I used to stare up at the sky on Christmas
Eve, and wonder which star lead the three kings,"
"Ever figure out which one?"
"No. I'd pick one every year, but they were probably
just a bunch of different ones. And sometimes it
would be raining, or snowy, like a couple years ago.
Then I stopped really believing there was a star to
lead anyone. Just a random star which happened to fit
the bill."
"That's rather cynical of you." Xander pointed up
towards one star, particularly bright. "How about
that one?"
"That's Mars. I think. And besides, its to the
northwest."
"Well, it may not lead to an infant in a trough, but
it does lead to my apartment. Well, at least until
the road curves. Come on, you can call your mom from
there."
"Can I finish my cookie first?"
"Sure. But save room, Anya's been cooking all
afternoon." Xander thought about that for a moment,
then took a handful of cookies. "On second thought,
eat up. I've tried her baking before."
Dawn laughed and leaned on his shoulder, chocolate
melting to her fingers. "Thanks."
"For what?"
"I dunno. Just... thanks."
A horn broke the moment, and Xander sat up a bit too
quickly. His shoulder complained, but he ignored it
in favor of the red convertible in front of him, and
the myriad of girls running at him.
"Xander! We've been looking all over for you!"
Explanations and holiday greetings were exchanged,
though Dawn remained silent. Xander shot her a
knowing look as they climbed back into cars to head to
his apartment. He knew she didn't want to talk about
it with the others. No one wants to talk about family
problems.
December 24, 2000
6 pm to Midnight
"God bless ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay
remember Christ our savior was born upon this day
to save us all from Satan's power when we had gone
astray
oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy,
oh tidings of comfort and joy."
Giles strummed a final chord on his guitar, his face
flush with singing and cheerful light drinking. The
crowd on the couch applauded; Tara and Willow were
curled by one arm, Xander and Anya by another. Buffy
and Riley sat on the floor, and Dawn leaned on her
mother's shoulder. Xander had been instrumental in
convincing Buffy to come after all. A simple guilt
trip was really all it took.
They were taking turns in making some sort of
performance. Willow had talked Xander into doing the
Snoopy Dance for everyone, which was immediately
followed by every other dance (which the careful
exception of the Linus Dance and the
Little-Red-Headed-Girl Dance), and Willow had
carefully lit all the candles in the room, aside from
those on the menorah, with a prayer for each. They'd
been singing carols for a little while once the
Rugrats were over, and Giles had been coaxed into a
solo by a joint effort from Buffy, Willow, and Joyce.
There was a long, comfortable pause when he was done,
before Tara carefully took the acoustic guitar from
him, asking politely through occasional stutters if
she could have a go.
Giles nodded, and Willow looked curiously confused.
Tara just smiled.
"This is a song t-that I heard a few years ago. I-I'm
not sure if I can play it right, but--"
"You'll do wonderfully." Giles assured her, and took
her seat on the couch. Tara lowered her head shyly
and carefully positioned her hands on the guitar.
She only played a few chords before giving up and
simply singing without it.
"Amber called her uncle, said 'We're up here for the
holiday
Jane and I were having Solstice, now we need a place
to stay,'
And her Christ-loving uncle watched his wife hang Mary
on a tree
He watched his son hang candy canes all ringed with
red dye number three
He told his niece 'It's Christmas Eve I know our life
is not your style,'
She said 'Christmas is like Solstice and we miss you
and it's been awhile,'
"So the Christians and the Pagans sit together at the
table
Finding faith and common ground the best that they
were able
Just before the meal was served, hands were held and
prayers were said
Sending hope for peace on Earth to all their gods and
goddesses.
"The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had
gone without a hitch
Till Timmy turned to Amber and said 'Is it true that
you're a witch?'
His mom jumped up and said 'The pies are burning' and
she hit the kitchen
and it was Jane who spoke; she said 'it's true because
Am's not a Christian,
But we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we
have, the world we share
And you find magic from your god and we find magic
everywhere,'
"So the Christians and the Pagans sit together at the
table
Finding faith and common ground the best that they
were able
Where does magic come from? I think magic's in the
learning
Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans, only
pumpkin pies are burning.
"When Amber tried to do the dishes, her aunt said
'Really no don't bother,'
Amber's uncle saw how Amber looked like Tim and like
her father
He thought about his brother; how they hadn't spoken
in a year
He thought he'd call him up and say 'It's Christmas
and your daughter's here,'
He thought of fathers, sons, and brothers; saw his
young son tug his sleeve
Saying 'Can I be a pagan?' Dad said 'We'll discuss it
when they leave,'
"So the Christians and the Pagans sit together at the
table
Finding faith and common ground the best that they
were able
Lighting trees in darkness; learning news ways from
the old
and making sense of history and drawing warmth out of
the cold."
Tara finished and smiled sheepishly at the applause
she received. She opened her mouth as if to offer
some further explanation, but shrugged when Giles
started up another song before she could. Soon,
everyone was singing as best they could, though
several of them didn't quite know all the words.
Xander pulled out the plate of cookies he'd rescued
from his house and announced it was time for desert as
though they hadn't already eaten scores of gingerbread
and brownies. Present were exchanged, and everyone
cycled through the lone piece of missel toe Xander'd
hung from the fan. Dawn stayed the longest, getting
pecks on the cheek from Giles, Riley, Willow, and Tara
before Xander noted in his meandering celebration
where she was and gave her a firm hug and a chaste
kiss on the lips. Dawn nearly fainted, but settled
for grinning like an idiot for the rest of the
evening.
By the time midnight rolled around, Joyce had nearly
fallen asleep on the couch, and the virgin eggnog had
a distinctly rum-like flavor to it, so the crowd began
slowly cycling out. The Summers women left first,
Buffy explaining that she had to get her mother home
while she could still drive, since Buffy driving
wasn't exactly the most relaxing thing in the world,
and Dawn stole a few extra cookies and a longing
glance at the missel toe before following. Riley left
shortly after, then Giles, who planned on attending a
midnight mass, and then the girls. Willow was
giggling suspiciously, but pleaded innocence when
Xander playfully accused her of spiking the 'nog, and
Anya graciously but hurriedly ushered them out the
door. She and Xander collapsed on the couch in a sea
of wrapping paper and paper plates.
"So," Xander stretched and leaned on Anya's head.
"That was a real Christmas, huh?"
"Well, except for that whole getting scared that you
were dead or beaten at your parent's house, yeah. I
think." Anya kicked some of the ribbons aside and put
her feet on the coffee table, striking a small box.
She'd forgotten all about it.
"We should do this more often," Xander murmured,
half-asleep. Anya jogged his shoulder to wake him up
before presenting him with the box.
"I meant to give it to you yesterday, but I forgot."
Xander frowned a bit, and concentrated on leaving no
bit of the paper larger than an inch untouched.
Finally, he got down to a cardboard gift box, and
opened it.
Inside sat a starship Enterprise tree ornament, with a
plug to put into an empty string light socket. He
lifted it out reverently, and just stared at it for a
long time.
Anya's hopes fell. "You hate it, don't you. It's
tacky, and I should never have bought it."
"It blinks?" Was all Xander said. She nodded.
Xander plugged it in, and the lights around the sides
began running through a simple chase sequence. He
stared at it wide eyed before suddenly turning and
wrapping Anya in an enormous hug.
"You like it?"
"Honey, that's the best gift anyone has ever given
me." He kissed her on the forehead. "And to think,
all I got you was a diamond solitaire necklace,"
"A what?" Anya's eyes lit up as he pulled a box out
of his pocket. She cast a sidelong glance at him.
"Where'd you get the money for this?"
"Actually, I've had it for years." He pulled it out
and put it around her neck. "My granddad had given it
to my grandma on their first Christmas together, and
when she died, he gave it to me. I've been debating
who to give it to ever since." Xander kissed her and
gave his trademark grin. "So, will you be my sweet
baboo?"
"If you promise never to call me that in public."
He picked her up. "Well then, we've got a date with
some much underused missel toe."
The End
philosofic to get out a little fluffy sweetness. this
is what I get for letting myself get dragged kicking
and screaming into the holiday spirit....
title: The Sweet Baboo Dance
author: Casix Thistlebane
disclaimer: the characters are property of Fox and
Joss Whedon, Charlie Brown Christmas was created by
Charles Schultz (rip), Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer
is someone else's fault, Michael Stipe, the flea, and
Drew Barrymore are property of themselves and came
together last year on Olive the Other Reindeer, and
Christians and the Pagans is by Dar Williams and
thanks to my suitemate for playing that song at me!
summary: Xander's first Christmas away from home. it
has to be better than the 19 years outside.
The Sweet Baboo Dance
by Casix Thistlebane
December 19, 2000
8:00 pm
"It'll be romantic." Anya was looking fondly at the
tiny evergreen she'd just finished placing on Xander's
trunk-turned-coffee table. "We'll have a tree and
presents, and we can curl up on the couch with hot
cocoa to watch tiny cartoon characters spout
sentimental drivel and feel all nostalgic for the good
old days."
Xander pulled a bag of popcorn out of the microwave
and popped a few still steaming kernels into his
mouth. "Okay. The only problems being that a) I
always watch Charlie Brown Christmas with Willow, b)
the tree is made of cheap imitation plastic, and c)
the hot cocoa would just be weird, what with it being
eighty degrees outside."
"We can still watch Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and,
ooo, that cute one with the flea and Michael Stipe!"
"Good point, but I can't feel nostalgic because I
haven't actually seen either and did you just say
something about Michael Stipe and a flea?"
"And Drew Barrymore. It was on last year when you
wouldn't let me come over because you'd be embarrassed
by the fact that you sleep in the yard every year.
Which has to be one of the most suicidal things I've
ever heard! You could have been eaten AND we couldn't
have romantic Christmas gift innuendo!"
"Yeah." Xander bit into another handful of popcorn
and looked over at the little tree. "I guess I don't
have to do that this year. Ooo, lets make a popcorn
chain for the tree!"
"You've never had a real Christmas, have you?" Anya's
eyes got all soft and pitiful, which made Xander
twitch. He had to make a joke, quick.
"Yeah. I never had to worry about being disillusioned
about Santa Claus because my parents never bothered to
tell me the myth." That didn't work. Anya's eyes
just got even softer. "What about you? You've spent
the last thousand years being vengeance girl. Not
what I'd call a 'normal' Christmas."
"We still had Christmas back when I was first mortal.
I think. Maybe it was Solstice? We had a tree...."
"Tell you what, we'll have our first Christmases
together. What could be more romantic than that?"
"And sexual Christmas gift innuendo?"
"Do you want your gift now or on Christmas?" Xander
raised an eyebrow and pulled off his work shirt. Anya
took the popcorn and grinned.
"Can't I have both?"
An hour later, the popcorn was cold, the tree still
bare and they were both dressed only in the tinsel and
garlands Anya had bought with the tree. They sat
curled together on the couch with mugs of chocolate
milk.
"My marshmallows won't melt." Anya leaned against
Xander's sweaty chest.
"We can probably fix that. But you wanted to cool
down."
"We still need to decorate."
"I think this is perfect."
"We can't put this on our Christmas cards."
"True," Xander sat up a bit and looked around the
apartment. "Where do you want to start?"
"The ceiling." Anya took a long sip and stared at the
ceiling fan. "Let's cover it in missel toe."
"Then we'd have to kiss everyone, all the time."
"Just in the bedroom then."
"Deal."
December 23, 2000
7:45 pm
*Loo loo loo loo loo loo loo loo*
"So that's what Christmas is all about." Anya smiled
as she noted the similarity between Charlie Brown's
tree and her little glittery one. There were already
a few small gifts from various scoobies under the
tree. "I'm sorry Willow couldn't come."
Xander shrugged. "She'll see it at our Christmas
party."
"Do we really have to have them all over on Christmas
Eve?"
"Sure. They'll be gone in plenty of time for us to
have a romantic evening. But Buffy, Dawn and their
mom need to get out of the house and be surrounded by
friends. And since Giles doesn't have anyone to
celebrate with, and I bought that menorah and all the
colored candles so we can have a multi-faith
celebration for Willow and Tara."
"Okay. So long as they're gone by midnight. I want a
warm, close Christmas with people I love."
"You don't love them?"
"They still don't like me."
"Nonsense. They agreed to come, didn't they?"
Anya just frowned and changed the subject. "Won't
Willow be upset that we're just watching a Christian
based special?"
"I've got the Rugrats Hanukkah special too." Xander
hit stop and started rewinding the video. "Besides,
she has to see the Snoopy Dance."
"You never do the Snoopy Dance for me."
"The Snoopy Dance is for Willow. You don't want to
have to share it with her."
"But Willow has a dance. I don't even have that."
Xander smiled at the VCR and hit play suddenly. He'd
memorized the counter for the video years ago, and the
dance scene came on immediately. He stood, bounced
from foot to foot on his toes, waved his arms and
"ponied" around in a circle. His hair, already mussed
from lying on the couch, swung ever so slightly from
side to side as he moved his head in time with his
feet. Anya's laughter filled the room.
"What are you doing?"
"The Little-Red-Headed-Girl Dance! Try it."
It took some urging, and Xander had to put the music
on repeat from his CD so he wouldn't have to rewind
the video again. Soon enough, Anya got the hang of
it, and even managed to comment on having "naturally
curly hair" through her laughter.
Xander kicked out his toes, shrugged his shoulders up,
and bobbed his head forward. When Anya gave him a
look, he explained: "The Linus Dance." He bobbed
closer to her, and she started turning again. They
met in front of the TV, where Lucy was pestering
Schroder about Jingle Bells, and kissed. Xander
wrapped his arms around her waist and spun her around,
lifting her off the floor.
"What dance is this?" Her voice was breathless
between kisses.
"The Fred and Ginger Dance." Xander set her down but
didn't let go. "It's not Peanuts, but it'll do."
They kissed again and she moved toward the bedroom
door. "I have something for you."
"Innuendo?"
"A real present." She was going to explain further,
but the phone rang. Xander kissed her quickly and
promised to join her again in a moment.
Anya slipped into the bedroom and pulled a small,
neatly wrapped box she'd been hiding since they
decided to have a real Christmas together. She hoped
she had the Christmas traditions figured out right.
What if Xander hated it? He gave her so much, and she
wanted to do something sweet and perfect in return.
She hoped he liked it.
She ducked back into the main room, and stopped
mid-grin as she saw the pale look on Xander's face as
he meekly said good-bye and hung up. He stood staring
at the phone, his shoulders shaking, and Anya set her
gift on the coffee table and wrapped her arms around
him.
"What's wrong? Who was that?"
"My mom." His voice was little more than a hoarse
whisper and he clasped her hand as tightly as his jaw.
"She wants me to go home for Christmas."
December 24, 2000
3:00 pm
"Xander, you're not going!"
Xander looked around for his jacket, and wondered if
he should bring a gift. But he was still not quite
old enough to give them what they really wanted. He
knew which stores wouldn't bother to card him but
didn't want to add to their habit. "They're my family
Anya." He shivered. He didn't want to go. It was
about the last thing he wanted to do. But his mother
had sounded heart broken on the phone. "We've talked
about this. I owe them something. I'll just go for a
few hours, and be back in plenty of time for the
party."
"You owe them exactly what they gave you: nothing.
You've never had family togetherness on Christmas
before, why start now?"
"They never asked me before." Xander found his coat
and finally settled on one of the bottles of sparkling
cider they'd bought for the party. With his luck,
they wouldn't notice the difference. "Look, I need to
do this. I need closure, time to actually say so long
and thanks for all the therapy. They don't usually
get really drunk till dark anyway. I'll be back long
before then."
"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"
Xander didn't reply. He didn't know the answer. He
just kissed her and headed out. Anya cursed, grabbed
her coat, and followed.
"Anya, what are you doing?"
"If you're so determined to go then I'm going with
you."
"No. I don't want you getting hurt."
"I thought you said you'd leave before they got
violent!"
"Anya--"
"If you're going to be fine then there's no reason I
can't go. I'm not letting you go back alone."
"They won't leave you alone just because you're a
guest. I'm not going to let them hurt you."
"What about you? Do you think I want you hurt?"
Xander turned away and muttered something. Anya
grabbed his arm and spun him around.
"What did you say?"
"I said I'm used to it!" Xander shouted and Anya was
suddenly very aware of how much larger he was than
her. His hand was so tight on the bottle that the
foil ripped and his knuckles went clear. She saw
veins sticking out on his hands and released his arm,
her heart breaking ever so slightly as she became
suddenly aware of the anger he kept hidden just under
the surface. He would never hurt her, she knew that,
but she recoiled anyway.
Xander's face crumpled as he saw her back up and he
sucked in a deep breath to calm himself.
"I'm going alone."
He left before she could argue.
December 24, 2000
5:35 pm
The moment the knock came on the door, Anya ran to
open it. She'd been fidgeting for hours and finally
had spent her time watching Christmas specials on
cable while waiting for Xander to come home. She
flung the door open and was startled by Tara and
Willow yelling "happy holidays" and thrusting a large
box at her. She blinked at them.
"You're not Xander." She made it sound as though they
had just committed the worst crime of all Which of
course they had.
"Is he not here?" Tara frowned. "We wanted to come
early. Willow kept telling me about he Snoopy Dance
and said I had to see it."
"I'm sure it's cute." Anya assured her. Her mind, as
usual, was focused somewhere else. "But Xander's not
back and its almost dark out."
"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be back soon." Willow
toyed with the end of her sweater. "Besides, he's
spent every Christmas after dark outside since he was
eight. Can we come in?"
"He has?" Tara gave Willow a horrified look. Willow
deftly avoided the topic with the skill bourne of
years of practice.
"While the hallway is nice--I mean, off white walls
and everything!--it's kind of like wow, inside
Xander's apartment! Complete with furniture and--and
decorations and--yeah, he spends every Christmas Eve
outside to avoid his family's drunken fights."
Tara looked concerned while Willow cast about for a
new topic. Anya rescued her from further
explanations.
"Yeah, but he isn't year except that he went over
there to visit and he said he'd be back by now!"
"He's at his parents?" Willow's face drained of
color. "On purpose?"
"Did you try calling them?" Tara shifted the box from
hand to hand nervously. "Maybe he's on his way home?"
"I can't call," Anya fidgeted again. "Because what
would I say? I mean 'hi, tell your son to get his ass
back to his apartment the guests are arriving'? Wait,
that might work."
"You didn't think of it, didja?" Willow gave a little
smirk. "But, um, maybe we should go over there?
'Cause while Xander's usually a really together guy,
he's not above drinking, especially when he's with his
family...."
"Okay, where's your car?"
"Right. Calling." Willow and Tara followed Anya in.
Tara carefully set their present on the floor by the
trunk, noting that it was a little too big for fitting
under the tree. She then sat down next to Willow and
squeezed her hand.
"He's fine."
"Of course he is. How can he not be? He's only with
his psycho-abusive parents whom he used to HIDE from
every year,"
"There's no answer!" Anya slammed her palms down on
the counter. "How far is it to walk?"
"A couple of miles, if we avoid direct paths through
vampire infested dark places." Willow said, then
jerked up straight. "He didn't walk, did he? 'Cause
it's one thing to just be in your yard at night, but
in the graveyards--"
"He drove."
A knock had just barely finished vibrating the door
when Anya flung it open, to reveal a pleased looking
Giles.
"We wish you a— now see here, where are we going?"
Willow explained as she and Anya ushered him down the
stairs to the car. Tara tacked a quick note on the
metal door with a refrigerator magnet and followed.
December 24, 2000
5:50 pm
Xander rubbed his shoulder from where his father's
fist had connected just before he'd managed to duck
out the back door. He accelerated, wanting nothing
more than to get back home to his real family and away
from the people he'd been forced to spend 19 years of
his life with. He was only glad that Rory had
distracted his father with a cup of champagne while he
made good his escape with a plate of cookies. It was
like old times again, only this time, he didn't have
to spend the night alone in his yard.
He took a corner a little too fast, and had to stop
and back up before he realized that yes, that was Dawn
stalking down the street looking annoyed and near
tears.
He had to park the car, get out, and shout her name
before she realized he was there.
"Xander!" She ran over to him, and stopped just short
of throwing her arms around him. They sat down on the
hood of his car in the deserted street. "I was just
heading to your apartment."
"On foot, minus one sister and mother?"
"Yeah. So?" Dawn tried to look unaffected, but tears
managed to sneak out of the corners of her eyes.
"Mom's still pretty tired, so Buffy declared we
weren't going to go. I said that even if she didn't
want to have any fun on Christmas, than at least I
should be able to, and she yelled at me for not
sharing with the family, and I called her a name, so
Mom yelled at me, and I finally just left. Buffy
tried to stop me, but I ducked through Mrs. Finster's
bushes and she couldn't fit."
Xander nodded and offered her a cookie. "Families can
be tough sometimes." He lay back carefully on the
hood of the car, and gestured for her to do the same.
She noticed his slight flinch, and he smiled. "Yeah,
mine's one of the toughest there is. Seriously,
Buffy's only trying to look out for you and your mom.
I know you know that."
"But Mom still wanted to go until Buffy said she
couldn't. She wasn't even going to call, I don't
think. She was too busy trying to be Super-Caretaker
to think about it."
"You should be happy to have someone looking out for
you." Xander bit into a cookie of his own. "Only
person I ever had for that was Willow. And Jesse, but
I don't think you ever met him."
"What happened to him? Did he move?"
"He was turned by vampires. I had to stake him
myself."
"Oh. That sucks."
Xander smiled at the stars. "Just a bit."
They sat there in silence for a moment. Xander wanted
to give Dawn a chance to recover her emotions before
suggesting they return to the apartment. Finally,
Dawn spoke up.
"You know, I used to stare up at the sky on Christmas
Eve, and wonder which star lead the three kings,"
"Ever figure out which one?"
"No. I'd pick one every year, but they were probably
just a bunch of different ones. And sometimes it
would be raining, or snowy, like a couple years ago.
Then I stopped really believing there was a star to
lead anyone. Just a random star which happened to fit
the bill."
"That's rather cynical of you." Xander pointed up
towards one star, particularly bright. "How about
that one?"
"That's Mars. I think. And besides, its to the
northwest."
"Well, it may not lead to an infant in a trough, but
it does lead to my apartment. Well, at least until
the road curves. Come on, you can call your mom from
there."
"Can I finish my cookie first?"
"Sure. But save room, Anya's been cooking all
afternoon." Xander thought about that for a moment,
then took a handful of cookies. "On second thought,
eat up. I've tried her baking before."
Dawn laughed and leaned on his shoulder, chocolate
melting to her fingers. "Thanks."
"For what?"
"I dunno. Just... thanks."
A horn broke the moment, and Xander sat up a bit too
quickly. His shoulder complained, but he ignored it
in favor of the red convertible in front of him, and
the myriad of girls running at him.
"Xander! We've been looking all over for you!"
Explanations and holiday greetings were exchanged,
though Dawn remained silent. Xander shot her a
knowing look as they climbed back into cars to head to
his apartment. He knew she didn't want to talk about
it with the others. No one wants to talk about family
problems.
December 24, 2000
6 pm to Midnight
"God bless ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay
remember Christ our savior was born upon this day
to save us all from Satan's power when we had gone
astray
oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy,
oh tidings of comfort and joy."
Giles strummed a final chord on his guitar, his face
flush with singing and cheerful light drinking. The
crowd on the couch applauded; Tara and Willow were
curled by one arm, Xander and Anya by another. Buffy
and Riley sat on the floor, and Dawn leaned on her
mother's shoulder. Xander had been instrumental in
convincing Buffy to come after all. A simple guilt
trip was really all it took.
They were taking turns in making some sort of
performance. Willow had talked Xander into doing the
Snoopy Dance for everyone, which was immediately
followed by every other dance (which the careful
exception of the Linus Dance and the
Little-Red-Headed-Girl Dance), and Willow had
carefully lit all the candles in the room, aside from
those on the menorah, with a prayer for each. They'd
been singing carols for a little while once the
Rugrats were over, and Giles had been coaxed into a
solo by a joint effort from Buffy, Willow, and Joyce.
There was a long, comfortable pause when he was done,
before Tara carefully took the acoustic guitar from
him, asking politely through occasional stutters if
she could have a go.
Giles nodded, and Willow looked curiously confused.
Tara just smiled.
"This is a song t-that I heard a few years ago. I-I'm
not sure if I can play it right, but--"
"You'll do wonderfully." Giles assured her, and took
her seat on the couch. Tara lowered her head shyly
and carefully positioned her hands on the guitar.
She only played a few chords before giving up and
simply singing without it.
"Amber called her uncle, said 'We're up here for the
holiday
Jane and I were having Solstice, now we need a place
to stay,'
And her Christ-loving uncle watched his wife hang Mary
on a tree
He watched his son hang candy canes all ringed with
red dye number three
He told his niece 'It's Christmas Eve I know our life
is not your style,'
She said 'Christmas is like Solstice and we miss you
and it's been awhile,'
"So the Christians and the Pagans sit together at the
table
Finding faith and common ground the best that they
were able
Just before the meal was served, hands were held and
prayers were said
Sending hope for peace on Earth to all their gods and
goddesses.
"The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had
gone without a hitch
Till Timmy turned to Amber and said 'Is it true that
you're a witch?'
His mom jumped up and said 'The pies are burning' and
she hit the kitchen
and it was Jane who spoke; she said 'it's true because
Am's not a Christian,
But we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we
have, the world we share
And you find magic from your god and we find magic
everywhere,'
"So the Christians and the Pagans sit together at the
table
Finding faith and common ground the best that they
were able
Where does magic come from? I think magic's in the
learning
Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans, only
pumpkin pies are burning.
"When Amber tried to do the dishes, her aunt said
'Really no don't bother,'
Amber's uncle saw how Amber looked like Tim and like
her father
He thought about his brother; how they hadn't spoken
in a year
He thought he'd call him up and say 'It's Christmas
and your daughter's here,'
He thought of fathers, sons, and brothers; saw his
young son tug his sleeve
Saying 'Can I be a pagan?' Dad said 'We'll discuss it
when they leave,'
"So the Christians and the Pagans sit together at the
table
Finding faith and common ground the best that they
were able
Lighting trees in darkness; learning news ways from
the old
and making sense of history and drawing warmth out of
the cold."
Tara finished and smiled sheepishly at the applause
she received. She opened her mouth as if to offer
some further explanation, but shrugged when Giles
started up another song before she could. Soon,
everyone was singing as best they could, though
several of them didn't quite know all the words.
Xander pulled out the plate of cookies he'd rescued
from his house and announced it was time for desert as
though they hadn't already eaten scores of gingerbread
and brownies. Present were exchanged, and everyone
cycled through the lone piece of missel toe Xander'd
hung from the fan. Dawn stayed the longest, getting
pecks on the cheek from Giles, Riley, Willow, and Tara
before Xander noted in his meandering celebration
where she was and gave her a firm hug and a chaste
kiss on the lips. Dawn nearly fainted, but settled
for grinning like an idiot for the rest of the
evening.
By the time midnight rolled around, Joyce had nearly
fallen asleep on the couch, and the virgin eggnog had
a distinctly rum-like flavor to it, so the crowd began
slowly cycling out. The Summers women left first,
Buffy explaining that she had to get her mother home
while she could still drive, since Buffy driving
wasn't exactly the most relaxing thing in the world,
and Dawn stole a few extra cookies and a longing
glance at the missel toe before following. Riley left
shortly after, then Giles, who planned on attending a
midnight mass, and then the girls. Willow was
giggling suspiciously, but pleaded innocence when
Xander playfully accused her of spiking the 'nog, and
Anya graciously but hurriedly ushered them out the
door. She and Xander collapsed on the couch in a sea
of wrapping paper and paper plates.
"So," Xander stretched and leaned on Anya's head.
"That was a real Christmas, huh?"
"Well, except for that whole getting scared that you
were dead or beaten at your parent's house, yeah. I
think." Anya kicked some of the ribbons aside and put
her feet on the coffee table, striking a small box.
She'd forgotten all about it.
"We should do this more often," Xander murmured,
half-asleep. Anya jogged his shoulder to wake him up
before presenting him with the box.
"I meant to give it to you yesterday, but I forgot."
Xander frowned a bit, and concentrated on leaving no
bit of the paper larger than an inch untouched.
Finally, he got down to a cardboard gift box, and
opened it.
Inside sat a starship Enterprise tree ornament, with a
plug to put into an empty string light socket. He
lifted it out reverently, and just stared at it for a
long time.
Anya's hopes fell. "You hate it, don't you. It's
tacky, and I should never have bought it."
"It blinks?" Was all Xander said. She nodded.
Xander plugged it in, and the lights around the sides
began running through a simple chase sequence. He
stared at it wide eyed before suddenly turning and
wrapping Anya in an enormous hug.
"You like it?"
"Honey, that's the best gift anyone has ever given
me." He kissed her on the forehead. "And to think,
all I got you was a diamond solitaire necklace,"
"A what?" Anya's eyes lit up as he pulled a box out
of his pocket. She cast a sidelong glance at him.
"Where'd you get the money for this?"
"Actually, I've had it for years." He pulled it out
and put it around her neck. "My granddad had given it
to my grandma on their first Christmas together, and
when she died, he gave it to me. I've been debating
who to give it to ever since." Xander kissed her and
gave his trademark grin. "So, will you be my sweet
baboo?"
"If you promise never to call me that in public."
He picked her up. "Well then, we've got a date with
some much underused missel toe."
The End