TITLE - Frustration
RATING – PG13- language
AUTHOR – James
DISCLAIMER – I am the author, so I own me. Anybody else is owned by Marvel. Now
go away Mr. Corporate Lawyer Guy.
SUMMARY – Logan, Rogue, and the Author sit down and discuss the most annoying
things about fan-fiction. It's a little offbeat and pulls no punches. I am of the opinion that
most fan-fic authors are lazy and believe they have no responsibilities after the first draft.
FRUSTRATION
It was a nice room. A big fireplace dominated one entire sidewall, a fire blazing inside
was the only light in the room and I watched it throw brief flickers of light onto the gruff
features of the man sitting a few feet away in an overstuffed chair. To his left, and at a
slight angle, was a couch. On the couch I sat with a woman. The woman was young and
had a strip of white hair mixed in at the front of her dark brown tresses. She turned to
look at me and spoke:
" Well, James, why did you call us here?"
I glanced over at the fire for a second before retuning my gaze to Rogue. "To be honest,
I'm fed up. I have held my tongue, or in this case my keyboard, long enough. It's about
time someone said something."
"About what?" she asked.
"Well, I am just sick and tired of all the lazy fan-fiction writes out there."
There was a small grunt from the chair, "Explain what you mean, bub."
"Well, Logan," I said, "I get some free time on occasion and I like to read some fan-fic.
The only problem nowadays is that the writers are lazy. By that I mean that the writers
don't even correct simple mistakes they make in their first draft. Know what I mean
Rouge?"
Rogue looked at me, confused. "Rouge? I'm not Rouge, I'm Rogue. Rouge is a makeup
for Pete's sake! "
"That's my whole point! You see how simple that would be to fix? Yet most writers
don't seem to care. And who is this Pete guy?"
Logan spoke up from the chair. "Ok, fine. You made your point. Now it's made and you
can get on with your life."
"Sorry, Logan-my-man, there is plenty more," I said. I straightened up a bit on the couch.
I had a point to make and I would be damned if poor posture stopped me from making it.
Logan rolled his eyes. "Fine. let's hear it. I am all tingly with anticipation," he said eerily,
yet slightly downtrodden, as he coolly, yet distrustfully and simply looked to the heavens
thankfully.
He gave a start as realised what he just said. "What the fuck was that? I don't talk that
way! And even if I did the events surrounding me and the words I used to speak would
get that point and/or emotion across without all those meaningless adverbs. Not too
mention I forgot to capitalize the L in let's. And if that wasn't bad enough, I just realized
that when I gave a start there I spelled realized realised.
I nodded my head. "Exactly! You know that and I know that, Rouge here knows that, yet
most writers don't give a shit. They must not even give there first drafts a proofreading of
any kind. A simple spell check could eliminate 80% of the errors alone!"
Rouge, sorry, Rogue gave a small chuckle. " Now you are doing it to, james."
"That's James, Rogue, with a capital J. What do you mean?"
"Sorry. You said 'there first drafts'. It should be 'their first drafts'. There spelled t-h-e-r-e
indicates a place like if I said, 'It's over there'. Now when you spell it t-h-e-i-r-, it implies
ownership. It is their draft of their story. When you spell it t-h-e-y-apostrophe-r-e-, it is
short for they are." She sat back, contented with her grasp of the English language.
"So true Rogue, but you screwed up again as well."
Logan piped up. "Even I know this one. You said 'now you are doing it to, james.' We
already figured out we should capitalize the J in james. Now you should know that the
word 'to' should have been 'too'. When you are sticking it in at the end of a phrase like
that, where it could mean, as well, or also, it is spelled t-o-o."
"You guys must learn a lot at that school of yours," I said, "But there is another thing that
bugs me to no end. Whenever you have to put quotes inside of double quotes, you must
use single quotes. An example: Rogue looked up and said, " I asked Logan about it, but
he just said, 'I don't give a shit'." Notice my proper punctuation at the end as well. A
single quote to signify the end of Logan's words, a period to indicate the end of Rogue's
sentence and a double quote to indicate the end of Rogue's spoken words. I have often
just hit the back button on my browser and not finished a story because bad punctuation
can destroy the flow of a piece."
Logan glanced at me somewhat bemused. "What, the hell, are, you talking, about,
James?"
Rogue covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.
I smiled as I spoke, "A comma indicates there should be a brief yet noticeable pause in
your words. A breath if you will. Misuse of the comma is the second worst mistake the
fan-fic writer makes. Misused ones or not having one where it needs to be can kill the
mood. What you just said came out as ' What (pause) the hell (pause) are (pause) you
talking (pause) about (pause) James?' Logan, you are not Captain Kirk. Don't talk like
him."
"Sorry, Logan," said Rogue, "Ah couldn't help myself."
I focused my attention on Rogue. " 'Ah'? Are you having your tonsils checked?"
"No, I'm southern."
"Yes, I know. And so does everyone else who reads here at this place. We are not stupid.
Trust us to be smart enough to insert a southern voice with the accent intact when we
read it in our heads. You are not 'adding flavor to the story', you are stopping the reader
from putting what voice they want to put with Rogue in the story."
"Anything else in this laundry list of yours?" asks Logan.
"One, maybe 2 or three things. We'll just start with the one I just did. When discussing
numbers, all numbers from zero to ninety-nine should be written out unless discussing
like a serial number or something similar. If you decide just to use the numbers anyway,
keep it the same throughout. Don't use 2 here and two later on. Also, notice that the last
two words after Logan asks his question are 'asks Logan'. Everywhere else in this piece
it says asked or glanced or even made like in Rogue's next appearance in a couple
sentences. You have to keep the tense the same throughout the piece. Do not jerk people
from the past to the present and back and forth like that. I swear it's enough to give
people whiplash."
Rogue made a "go on" gesture with her hands.
"Ok," I said, "Rogue, you are 16 or 17 in the movie and Logan you look to be in you
early thirties. Is that a fair statement?"
They both shook their heads yes.
"So according to state laws, Logan having sex with Rogue is statutory rape unless the
writer makes it clear that Rogue has now reached legal age. Logan is a great guy. He's
not a pedophile who prays on underage children. Most of the stuff these writers have you
do would get you a first class ticket to Jerry Springer."
Logan sat up, his eyes blazing. "Who makes me have sex with an underage girl?"
"Forget it, Logan, we'll never win that argument." To try and relax him I tossed over a
summer sausage. "Make yourself useful and slice this up."
SNIKT! Logan popped out his claws and went to work. He made short work of it. He
stopped when he went to hand me a piece of the meat.
"What?" he asked.
"It's just that it's so much more impressive when you see them come out in person."
He shrugged. "Yeah, they slice, they dice, they make three different kinds of french
fries."
"James?"
"Yes, Rogue?"
"Is there anything else?"
"Not at the moment, but in time…who knows? So many pieces of fan-fiction could be so
much better with a simple editing and proofreading. The authors are just shortchanging
their work. I've seen too many great ideas ruined because the author didn't want to put
forth the effort. Well, that's fine, you know; it's their choice. You can get Beta readers.
Communicate with them privately. Don't just post your first draft and ask for a read and
review. Beta readers are to be used before you show your work to the masses. I want my
work to look as complete as possible before I post. I personally write my piece, leave it
for a day or two or even longer, then come back and edit the whole thing. You need that
time to distance yourself from the story a bit. You can't edit directly following the last
sentence. Your mind needs a break from the process."
I slumped down a bit, posture be damned, my point was made. "I do have a question for
you, Logan."
"What's that?" he asked.
"Exactly how do you make french fries three different ways?"
End
RATING – PG13- language
AUTHOR – James
DISCLAIMER – I am the author, so I own me. Anybody else is owned by Marvel. Now
go away Mr. Corporate Lawyer Guy.
SUMMARY – Logan, Rogue, and the Author sit down and discuss the most annoying
things about fan-fiction. It's a little offbeat and pulls no punches. I am of the opinion that
most fan-fic authors are lazy and believe they have no responsibilities after the first draft.
FRUSTRATION
It was a nice room. A big fireplace dominated one entire sidewall, a fire blazing inside
was the only light in the room and I watched it throw brief flickers of light onto the gruff
features of the man sitting a few feet away in an overstuffed chair. To his left, and at a
slight angle, was a couch. On the couch I sat with a woman. The woman was young and
had a strip of white hair mixed in at the front of her dark brown tresses. She turned to
look at me and spoke:
" Well, James, why did you call us here?"
I glanced over at the fire for a second before retuning my gaze to Rogue. "To be honest,
I'm fed up. I have held my tongue, or in this case my keyboard, long enough. It's about
time someone said something."
"About what?" she asked.
"Well, I am just sick and tired of all the lazy fan-fiction writes out there."
There was a small grunt from the chair, "Explain what you mean, bub."
"Well, Logan," I said, "I get some free time on occasion and I like to read some fan-fic.
The only problem nowadays is that the writers are lazy. By that I mean that the writers
don't even correct simple mistakes they make in their first draft. Know what I mean
Rouge?"
Rogue looked at me, confused. "Rouge? I'm not Rouge, I'm Rogue. Rouge is a makeup
for Pete's sake! "
"That's my whole point! You see how simple that would be to fix? Yet most writers
don't seem to care. And who is this Pete guy?"
Logan spoke up from the chair. "Ok, fine. You made your point. Now it's made and you
can get on with your life."
"Sorry, Logan-my-man, there is plenty more," I said. I straightened up a bit on the couch.
I had a point to make and I would be damned if poor posture stopped me from making it.
Logan rolled his eyes. "Fine. let's hear it. I am all tingly with anticipation," he said eerily,
yet slightly downtrodden, as he coolly, yet distrustfully and simply looked to the heavens
thankfully.
He gave a start as realised what he just said. "What the fuck was that? I don't talk that
way! And even if I did the events surrounding me and the words I used to speak would
get that point and/or emotion across without all those meaningless adverbs. Not too
mention I forgot to capitalize the L in let's. And if that wasn't bad enough, I just realized
that when I gave a start there I spelled realized realised.
I nodded my head. "Exactly! You know that and I know that, Rouge here knows that, yet
most writers don't give a shit. They must not even give there first drafts a proofreading of
any kind. A simple spell check could eliminate 80% of the errors alone!"
Rouge, sorry, Rogue gave a small chuckle. " Now you are doing it to, james."
"That's James, Rogue, with a capital J. What do you mean?"
"Sorry. You said 'there first drafts'. It should be 'their first drafts'. There spelled t-h-e-r-e
indicates a place like if I said, 'It's over there'. Now when you spell it t-h-e-i-r-, it implies
ownership. It is their draft of their story. When you spell it t-h-e-y-apostrophe-r-e-, it is
short for they are." She sat back, contented with her grasp of the English language.
"So true Rogue, but you screwed up again as well."
Logan piped up. "Even I know this one. You said 'now you are doing it to, james.' We
already figured out we should capitalize the J in james. Now you should know that the
word 'to' should have been 'too'. When you are sticking it in at the end of a phrase like
that, where it could mean, as well, or also, it is spelled t-o-o."
"You guys must learn a lot at that school of yours," I said, "But there is another thing that
bugs me to no end. Whenever you have to put quotes inside of double quotes, you must
use single quotes. An example: Rogue looked up and said, " I asked Logan about it, but
he just said, 'I don't give a shit'." Notice my proper punctuation at the end as well. A
single quote to signify the end of Logan's words, a period to indicate the end of Rogue's
sentence and a double quote to indicate the end of Rogue's spoken words. I have often
just hit the back button on my browser and not finished a story because bad punctuation
can destroy the flow of a piece."
Logan glanced at me somewhat bemused. "What, the hell, are, you talking, about,
James?"
Rogue covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.
I smiled as I spoke, "A comma indicates there should be a brief yet noticeable pause in
your words. A breath if you will. Misuse of the comma is the second worst mistake the
fan-fic writer makes. Misused ones or not having one where it needs to be can kill the
mood. What you just said came out as ' What (pause) the hell (pause) are (pause) you
talking (pause) about (pause) James?' Logan, you are not Captain Kirk. Don't talk like
him."
"Sorry, Logan," said Rogue, "Ah couldn't help myself."
I focused my attention on Rogue. " 'Ah'? Are you having your tonsils checked?"
"No, I'm southern."
"Yes, I know. And so does everyone else who reads here at this place. We are not stupid.
Trust us to be smart enough to insert a southern voice with the accent intact when we
read it in our heads. You are not 'adding flavor to the story', you are stopping the reader
from putting what voice they want to put with Rogue in the story."
"Anything else in this laundry list of yours?" asks Logan.
"One, maybe 2 or three things. We'll just start with the one I just did. When discussing
numbers, all numbers from zero to ninety-nine should be written out unless discussing
like a serial number or something similar. If you decide just to use the numbers anyway,
keep it the same throughout. Don't use 2 here and two later on. Also, notice that the last
two words after Logan asks his question are 'asks Logan'. Everywhere else in this piece
it says asked or glanced or even made like in Rogue's next appearance in a couple
sentences. You have to keep the tense the same throughout the piece. Do not jerk people
from the past to the present and back and forth like that. I swear it's enough to give
people whiplash."
Rogue made a "go on" gesture with her hands.
"Ok," I said, "Rogue, you are 16 or 17 in the movie and Logan you look to be in you
early thirties. Is that a fair statement?"
They both shook their heads yes.
"So according to state laws, Logan having sex with Rogue is statutory rape unless the
writer makes it clear that Rogue has now reached legal age. Logan is a great guy. He's
not a pedophile who prays on underage children. Most of the stuff these writers have you
do would get you a first class ticket to Jerry Springer."
Logan sat up, his eyes blazing. "Who makes me have sex with an underage girl?"
"Forget it, Logan, we'll never win that argument." To try and relax him I tossed over a
summer sausage. "Make yourself useful and slice this up."
SNIKT! Logan popped out his claws and went to work. He made short work of it. He
stopped when he went to hand me a piece of the meat.
"What?" he asked.
"It's just that it's so much more impressive when you see them come out in person."
He shrugged. "Yeah, they slice, they dice, they make three different kinds of french
fries."
"James?"
"Yes, Rogue?"
"Is there anything else?"
"Not at the moment, but in time…who knows? So many pieces of fan-fiction could be so
much better with a simple editing and proofreading. The authors are just shortchanging
their work. I've seen too many great ideas ruined because the author didn't want to put
forth the effort. Well, that's fine, you know; it's their choice. You can get Beta readers.
Communicate with them privately. Don't just post your first draft and ask for a read and
review. Beta readers are to be used before you show your work to the masses. I want my
work to look as complete as possible before I post. I personally write my piece, leave it
for a day or two or even longer, then come back and edit the whole thing. You need that
time to distance yourself from the story a bit. You can't edit directly following the last
sentence. Your mind needs a break from the process."
I slumped down a bit, posture be damned, my point was made. "I do have a question for
you, Logan."
"What's that?" he asked.
"Exactly how do you make french fries three different ways?"
End