Chapter One
It hurts me to inform you that in this reworking of 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' it is just as dreadful as the original. Klaus', Violet's, and Sunny's lives are still full with unfortunate events. Yes, Klaus is still a brilliant researcher. Yes, Violet is still a brilliant inventor. Yes, Sunny is still a brilliant biter. And it also hurts me dearly to say this but, yes, Countress Olaf is still just as bitter and treacherous as before.
My identity will not be told during this story at any point. So I thank you for not asking me for any information about my 'unfortunate' past.
It also hurts to say that this story begins at the same beach that Mr. Snicket's story began at. It was the same dark and gloomy day. The same disastrous event was about to begin. But this is where Limony's story ends, and mine begins.
"What...is that?" Klaus asked as he looked up into the gloom. A very tall figure was approaching slowly. As if some monster had decided to rampage the beach, the three Baudelaire's were completely alone. I, in fact have been to that beach. Believe me; a very tall figure walking towards you in the gloom can be quite spooky. "Ganep?" Sunny replied, meaning something like "Maybe we should call out to it." "Hello?" Violet called out. A large cloud of smoke puffed into the sky, and a cough floated back to Violet in response. Klaus bent in and whispered. "It's Mr. Poe; he's the one that always seems to be coughing. Grey hair, brown eyes, always has a-" "Cigar sticking out of his mouth." Mr. Poe finished Klaus' sentence as he began coughing. "Poe?" Sunny asked. Klaus shushed his sister and looked up at Mr. Poe. "Is something wrong? Or are you just here to enjoy the scenery?" Klaus said doubtfully. "Actually, I have brought some bad news, terribly bad news." Replied Mr. Poe, "Your parents have been killed by a house fire. Everything has been destroyed. You three will be sent to a new guardian on the outskirts to town. Your new guardian will be a young lady named Justice Strauss." He had a serious of coughs before continuing. "You three need to come with me to my office for a little bit while I finish some paper-work. Then I can drop you off at your new home." Mr. Poe smiled and turned, walking back into the gloom.
The three children stood there, their mouth's gaping. Klaus had dropped his set of microscopes to the ground; Violet had dropped her piece of paper she was writing on, and Sunny had dropped a sea-shell she was chewing on.
In most cases when something terrible happens people try to explain quickly. Strangely enough they think the pain won't be as great if the words stay on your mind for a mere moment. That is complete and utter nonsense. Sometimes it is actually better to be told alarming news very slowly, so you have time to analyze everything. The three Baudelaire children had only had four seconds to realize their parents were dead; their mansion had been burnt down, and they were going to be living with Justice Strauss on the outskirts of town for the rest of their lives.
The three Baudelaire children now found themselves in Mr. Poe's office at his bank, a brown cigar sticking out the side of his mouth. "I will be in charge of your whole fortune until Violet comes of age. I will do my best to try and keep everything in line, but me being of very much importance at the bank I can only try." He smiled at the children as a phone went off in his office. "Just a moment children." Mr. Poe picked up the phone and began to speak. "Hello, no, no. No! NO! The bank is not open on Sunday's you fool!"
Most people would say Mr. Poe needed 'Anger Management'. That is not the truth; believe it or not I have had Anger Management once before. It was quite obvious though, the reason I was mad. I had tried to explain to the doctors but they would not listen. But quickly, I must go on with the story, I am to disheartened to continue with the story of my own.
"Now, what are your names?" Mr. Poe asked as he pulled out a small yellow paper. After none of the children had answer he looked up with a question look on his face. "Ahem," He said, meaning something like, "Tell me your names children." "You know are names." Klaus said to Mr. Poe with a small smile. "I'm Klaus, that's Violet, and that's Sunny." Mr. Poe nodded satisfied. "All right, that's all I needed. Let's get ready to drop you off at your new guardian's home." The children gazed at each other with a mixed expression on there faces.
You might be thinking that maybe the Baudelaire's well perhaps get off easy? Maybe not live with Countress Olaf? If you are in fact one of these people you should probably just shut this book and run away. This story does have many differences between the others, but it does not take place in an alternate reality. Countress Olaf is indeed Justice Strauss neighbor. And the Baudelaire's will indeed run into this menacing character. Very soon indeed
It hurts me to inform you that in this reworking of 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' it is just as dreadful as the original. Klaus', Violet's, and Sunny's lives are still full with unfortunate events. Yes, Klaus is still a brilliant researcher. Yes, Violet is still a brilliant inventor. Yes, Sunny is still a brilliant biter. And it also hurts me dearly to say this but, yes, Countress Olaf is still just as bitter and treacherous as before.
My identity will not be told during this story at any point. So I thank you for not asking me for any information about my 'unfortunate' past.
It also hurts to say that this story begins at the same beach that Mr. Snicket's story began at. It was the same dark and gloomy day. The same disastrous event was about to begin. But this is where Limony's story ends, and mine begins.
"What...is that?" Klaus asked as he looked up into the gloom. A very tall figure was approaching slowly. As if some monster had decided to rampage the beach, the three Baudelaire's were completely alone. I, in fact have been to that beach. Believe me; a very tall figure walking towards you in the gloom can be quite spooky. "Ganep?" Sunny replied, meaning something like "Maybe we should call out to it." "Hello?" Violet called out. A large cloud of smoke puffed into the sky, and a cough floated back to Violet in response. Klaus bent in and whispered. "It's Mr. Poe; he's the one that always seems to be coughing. Grey hair, brown eyes, always has a-" "Cigar sticking out of his mouth." Mr. Poe finished Klaus' sentence as he began coughing. "Poe?" Sunny asked. Klaus shushed his sister and looked up at Mr. Poe. "Is something wrong? Or are you just here to enjoy the scenery?" Klaus said doubtfully. "Actually, I have brought some bad news, terribly bad news." Replied Mr. Poe, "Your parents have been killed by a house fire. Everything has been destroyed. You three will be sent to a new guardian on the outskirts to town. Your new guardian will be a young lady named Justice Strauss." He had a serious of coughs before continuing. "You three need to come with me to my office for a little bit while I finish some paper-work. Then I can drop you off at your new home." Mr. Poe smiled and turned, walking back into the gloom.
The three children stood there, their mouth's gaping. Klaus had dropped his set of microscopes to the ground; Violet had dropped her piece of paper she was writing on, and Sunny had dropped a sea-shell she was chewing on.
In most cases when something terrible happens people try to explain quickly. Strangely enough they think the pain won't be as great if the words stay on your mind for a mere moment. That is complete and utter nonsense. Sometimes it is actually better to be told alarming news very slowly, so you have time to analyze everything. The three Baudelaire children had only had four seconds to realize their parents were dead; their mansion had been burnt down, and they were going to be living with Justice Strauss on the outskirts of town for the rest of their lives.
The three Baudelaire children now found themselves in Mr. Poe's office at his bank, a brown cigar sticking out the side of his mouth. "I will be in charge of your whole fortune until Violet comes of age. I will do my best to try and keep everything in line, but me being of very much importance at the bank I can only try." He smiled at the children as a phone went off in his office. "Just a moment children." Mr. Poe picked up the phone and began to speak. "Hello, no, no. No! NO! The bank is not open on Sunday's you fool!"
Most people would say Mr. Poe needed 'Anger Management'. That is not the truth; believe it or not I have had Anger Management once before. It was quite obvious though, the reason I was mad. I had tried to explain to the doctors but they would not listen. But quickly, I must go on with the story, I am to disheartened to continue with the story of my own.
"Now, what are your names?" Mr. Poe asked as he pulled out a small yellow paper. After none of the children had answer he looked up with a question look on his face. "Ahem," He said, meaning something like, "Tell me your names children." "You know are names." Klaus said to Mr. Poe with a small smile. "I'm Klaus, that's Violet, and that's Sunny." Mr. Poe nodded satisfied. "All right, that's all I needed. Let's get ready to drop you off at your new guardian's home." The children gazed at each other with a mixed expression on there faces.
You might be thinking that maybe the Baudelaire's well perhaps get off easy? Maybe not live with Countress Olaf? If you are in fact one of these people you should probably just shut this book and run away. This story does have many differences between the others, but it does not take place in an alternate reality. Countress Olaf is indeed Justice Strauss neighbor. And the Baudelaire's will indeed run into this menacing character. Very soon indeed