I'm Still Alive
Amelia Stanley (GeekIsChic)
Genres: Tragedy/Drama/Episode Related
SPOILERS: Lost Son
A/N: This is my first ever CSI fan fiction story, as well as my first CSI: Miami fic. Anyway, I watched Lost Son again on Monday night. When I saw Alexx performing the autopsy, I thought I should write something in honor of Speed. I'd like to thank my friend for editing and revising. Any other mistakes that are left are mine, promise. Reviews are appreciated.
I stared down at the dark-haired CSI that lie in front of me on the metallic gurney. Timothy Speedle's eyes were closed, and I wish they weren't, I wish they were open and his lungs were breathing; his heart beating. I wish he could just wake up from this cold, eternal slumber called death and say to me, to everyone else who loved him, "I'm alive."
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When I saw Speed's eyes closed and blood pooled around him, I knew then that he was gone. He was gone from this earth and from all of us. Horatio Caine didn't look too good himself, either. His eyes were glassy and blood spotted his hands and his right cheek. Calliegh Duquesne looked torn up inside, and that's just how I felt too. Tears welled in her eyes as well. I went up to Calliegh and pulled her into a hug that I knew she needed. When we finally pulled apart, I went over to Horatio.
Standing by the red-headed man, I looked up at the ceiling of the jewelry store trying to blink back my own tears. This isn't going to be easy. It never is easy, when it's the death of one of our guys. "You tried, Horatio, you did," I said, trying to comfort him. He kept staring down at the lifeless body of Speed. I put my hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
He then diverted his gaze to me and barely nodded. "It all happened so fast, Alexx…"
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"Speed, honey, what happened to you?" I ask him, knowing he couldn't answer.
I began to shower off the blood to begin the first incision. As the water spilled from the showerhead, his blood washed away quickly and ran down his torso. Once the blood was cleaned away from his chest and body, I picked up the scalpel.
I felt my tears streaming hot down my face, leaving rivulets on my cheeks. "It's going to be all right, Speed," I say, putting my gloved hand to his cold cheek. "It's going to be just fine," I tried to reassure myself.
I saw a ghostly figure out of the corner of my eye. It was mainly a blur and I couldn't really make out the features of it. It showed itself again and this time, settled itself in front of me. He stood there, across from me on the other side of the silvery gurney. His hair was dark, just like Speed's. Oh god, it is Speed.
"Alexx," the ghostly figure that resembled Speed said, "it will be all right."
I nodded and Speed's spirit took my gloved hand in his. I didn't dare divert my eyes from his. "…How did you---"
"Doesn't matter," he said, looking straight into my eyes, his own eyes pleading. "Just remember me, okay?"
"Yes, Speed," another batch of tears ran down from my eyes like waterfalls. "I will. Of course."
"Okay. And another thing."
"Yes, Tim?" I nodded, and looked up at him with weary eyes.
"I'm still alive, as long as you, Calliegh, Eric, and Horatio keep me alive in your hearts," he said, giving my hand a squeeze. "I'm still alive," he repeated, and then shifted slightly and moving his gaze. "I have to go now. Stay strong, Alexx." And with saying that, his hand disappeared from mine and the rest of his ghost faded away into to nothingness.
…Finis…