Chapter One
Kurama moved through the kitchen of his apartment with languid grace as Hiei reclined on the couch in the living room. He ignored the stream of curses that fell from his lover's mouth as the fire demon wrestled with the complications of human technology.
The fox's movements were slow, uncaring, as he stared out the window while slicing an onion. The moon was full, and the stars twinkled brightly from their place in the sky, mocking him. It was the perfect night for lovers everywhere. He winced in pain as the blade sliced through the flesh of one of his fingers. It was a small cut, just a minor flesh wound that sealed itself almost instantly as Kurama washed the cutting board free of the bit of blood that had stained it. He closed his eyes as the meat simmered on the stove, whispering a prayer to himself. He would need all of his strength to get through this night.
As the preparations for dinner came to an end, Kurama moved from the safe confines of his kitchen to stand in the doorway to the living room. He watched Hiei fling the remote into a forgotten corner and pout, as the device wouldn't do as the fire demon commanded. A bitter smile graced the fox's lips, and he found an all too familiar resentment boil up within his soul.
"Dinner is ready," Kurama informed the jaganshi softly before turning away to finish setting the table.
Hiei grunted his acknowledgement and moved from the couch, shooting the television one last glare before he settled down across the table from the fox. Hiei waited for the meal to be served before digging into his food with an enthusiasm that surprised the fox. American food was always Hiei's least favorite. Usually, it earned a slew of complaints.
"How is everything?" Kurama questioned as he picked at his own plate.
"Your cooking is always good," Hiei complimented between mouthfuls. "Maybe you should teach a class."
"I wasn't referring to the food, Hiei."
Crimson eyes narrowed as Hiei dropped his chopsticks and stared into inquiring emeralds. "Makai is fine." Hiei's voice contained a dangerous edge, a warning that the fox would regret his words if he pushed the subject any further. After a moment of silence, the fire demon was convinced there would be no more questions about his life outside these walls. He continued to eat.
Dinner was consumed in silence, and the fox cleared the table as Hiei returned to the living room to stare at the blank television screen. Kurama washed the dishes, suddenly wishing such a menial task would occupy his mind so he didn't have to think. As the last glass was put away, strong arms wrapped around his waist. Hiei's hands moved over his body, brushing over his hips, teasing a clothed groin.
Kurama turned, his eyebrows pulled together in frustration. "Are you leaving tomorrow?"
With a deep sigh, Hiei pulled back. "I have no choice. I'm needed in Makai."
"You could choose to stay here," Kurama suggested, a small smile playing at his lips as he hoped his lover would agree immediately to the idea. "Or… you could invite me to join you."
"I told you-"
"That this is the only way we can be together," Kurama sighed and threw his hands up in defeat. "You've said that for the last three years, and I've been patient. Hiei, we aren't together. Don't you see that one weekend a month isn't enough?" He shook his head as he turned to wipe down the counter. "We can't continue like this."
"If you want to be with me, this is the way things must be. There will be no further discussion of changing our situation. Maybe when the wars are finally at an end and there's no longer a reason for me to maintain a constant presence…"
"You'll just keep finding excuses to stay there, and I'll keep finding excuses to let you use me until there's nothing left but an empty shell of who I used to be."
"This conversation is ended, Kurama."
"Do you have another lover?" the fox questioned quietly as he turned back to gaze into the crimson eyes he loved. It had been an accusation hurled between them many times in the past three years, though Kurama had never believed it to be true.
Hiei sighed deeply and ran a hand through his ebony locks. "I'm married, Kurama. I have a wife in Alaric and a child on the way. That's why I have to spend so much time there, and that's why you can't join me." He reached out and touched the fox's hair gently, only to have his hand smacked away. "Fox, it wasn't my choice to marry. It was a necessary adjustment to my life when I learned it was a condition for taking over the throne."
Kurama nodded to show his understanding of what Hiei had just told him. For the briefest of moments, Hiei believed everything would work out, that he'd still be able to hold onto the person who meant the most to him. They would get through this.
Kurama rested his gaze on the fire demon, and Hiei flinched as he felt the fury contained within those emerald orbs. "I want you to leave, Hiei."
"Kurama-"
"Get your belongings and get out."
"Fox-"
"Now."
Hiei sighed in defeat and gathered his boots and his cloak, as well as the bag he always brought with him on his weekend trips. "Kurama, I really do love you." With that, he was gone and Kurama was left alone to mourn his loss.
It was with careful neutrality that Kurama wandered through the house, a garbage bag in hand as he set about disposing of every last reminder of his lover. No tears came to his eyes, despite the well lurking beneath the surface. No anguished cries, no curses at the one who'd betrayed him.
When he'd finished, Kurama hoisted the large (and very full) bag over his shoulder and carried it to the dumpster at the other side of the parking lot. He was careful to keep his emotions in check, knowing deep within his soul that he was walking on the edge of a dagger. His mind was fragile at times. On one side was the abyss of madness, the blackness that did indeed look very tempting at this moment – better than the heartache that made him want to rip his heart from his chest. On the other side… the tormenting pain he refused to acknowledge, for fear of the tears that would come and the incapacitating lack of motivation to continue living. Depression or madness… which would it be?
Kurama was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he failed to notice the figure lurking in the shadows until a crimson blur flashed past his eyes.
"Hiei?" Kurama glanced around but saw no sign of his former lover.
He was hit before Kurama could discern the figure. He grabbed the figure's crimson cloak and ripped it from his shoulders as he sank to the filthy ground beside the dumpster. His vision blurred around the edges as he felt a pain center within his chest and then spread outwards, fraying his every nerve and paralyzing the fox with a greater torture than he had ever experienced. He didn't scream as the footsteps faded and the blurry figure disappeared. His body did the only thing it could do. It shut down until the pain passed and Kurama's vision went dark.
Author's Corner: Okay, for all of those who have read this story in the past, this chapter hasn't changed much in the revision. However, some of the finer details in this chapter have, so I suggest you visit it again. In the following chapters, a lot will change from the original, while some things will stay the same. For those of you who have read the chapters in the past, please read them again. You'll find many twists and turns that were not in the original because I was too lazy of a writer. Thank you to my betareader, KyoHana, for your quick and very good work. Thank you for reading.