Please drop dead.
Sincerly,
Lily
P.S.
Yes, I will go to Diagon with you.
"What do you make of it, mates?" James asked nervously, handing the note around to his friends.
Sirius just stared.
"She's bloody raving, Prongs." He handed the note the Peter, who made a sort of squeaking noise.
"It's a bad, bad idea, James," Sirius continued, shaking his head. "Bird like that, she's liable to take an eye out. Maybe something else, if you're real unlucky."
"And James has never had the best of British when it comes to Lily," Peter added helpfully.
"Thanks, Pete," James said nastily, though his voice rose several octaves higher. "Makes me feel far better about it." He snatched the note away, and handed it to Remus.
"Moony, what do you make of it?" James' eyes were pleading.
Remus took a long time, reading over the note twice.
"Well, she does start out wishing you dead, mate," he pointed out.
"I'm doomed!" James wailed, throwing himself haphazardly onto Peter's bed. "No bloke in the history of time was ever as doomed as I! I shall perish in the fiery flames of doom! I shall wilt forever in the smoldering fires of --"
"...But she also agreed to meet with you," Remus finished slowly, choosing to ignore his overdramatic comrade. "I'd say that's a rather good sign, actually."
James stopped his lengthy lamentation and sat up immediately.
"You don't think she's planning to ambush me with an Exploding Hex?" His eyes grew wide and hopeful.
Remus chuckled.
"She's not the type. If she were going to ambush you, she'd do it in school, where you'd be mocked forever," he paused. "Oh, yes, she's done that already. Well, in that case, your chances are even better."
"...I'm not quite following you, mate,"
"Well, I suppose she's admitted defeat. Thrown in the towel, as it were. She's done everything she possibly can to destroy you except actually go out with you," Remus explained patiently. "This is her way of conceding to your ridiculous victory."
Peter was in awe, and Sirius looked beyond gleeful.
"You've finally annoyed her into going out with you, mate!" Sirius gave a whooping cheer, and whomped James a good one around the head, pulling him into a Dutch Rub. "You've got a date with Lily Evans!"
When Sirius finally let James go, all he could do was stand rooted to the spot, a look of shock across his features.
"I've got a date with Lily," he repeated, dumfounded. A smile began to light at the corners of his mouth, and before he knew it, he was grinning like an arse. "I'VE GOT A DATE WITH LILY EVANS!" He screeched, and pumped his fist into the air. He began dancing around the dorm, following closely by Sirius and Peter. Remus sat on his bunk grinning, watching his idiot friends frolicking about like the berks they were.
Suddenly, James stopped, and a look of horror came across his face. Sirius and Peter, who had not been paying attention, barrelled into their friend and the three of them crashed to the floor.
"James, what's up?" Peter asked, rubbing a sore spot on his shoulder.
"What the Hell was that, Prongs!" Sirius sounded much more annoyed, and less hesitant about cracking James a good one.
James just sat, looking horrified, before managing to gasp out, "I've nothing to wear!"