LONELY HAPPINESS

ONE-SHOT

By shinujigoku

- This is my Christmas present to all Fruits Basket Fans. -

The sky was overcast and there was a faint chill in the air as Momiji slowly walked down the long pathway leading towards his house. The gravel crunched loudly under his sneakers echoing throughout the silence of the Sohma abode. Momiji was alone, his schoolbag slung over his shoulder and his eyes set forward, sadly taking in the bare, gnarled trees outlining the path and the dead foliage swept into piles beside the trees trunks. There was no life, nothing…

Momiji quietly slid open the door, flinging his bag on the nearby wicker chair and removing his shoes by the stair. The room was moderately endowed with simple, but decorative, furnishings, and was kept clean by the main house's servants. Momiji sighed and walked to a nearby lamp, turning it on to allow some light in the dim room. As long as he could remember he had lived alone in this house after his father had begged him to allow him to live with his mother so they could start a new life. A life without him. A life without Momiji.

Momiji walked to the answering machine, taking a gulp of his soda along the way, and noticed that there was a message.

'Momiji' the voice began, 'it's me, your father. I can't see you tonight because it's Christmas Eve and I need to act as Santa and get Momo's presents ready under the tree. I hope you understand. Maybe some other time we can see each other?' And then the voice was gone.

Momiji's fingertips instinctively went to touch the answering machine, his eyes slightly watering. 'Christmas,' he thought, 'I've never had a Christmas. I…I wish I could be there. But no. That's just me being selfish. They need to be together this season as a family without me. Without the cursed one.'

He took another gulp of his soda and walked into the bedroom where his violin was resting on the dressing table. He had played ever since his mother's deterioration into madness when he was a young boy. He always practiced, honing his technique and creating his own melodies to express the feelings he repressed. People thought it was hauntingly beautiful the way he played, but they only knew half of the melody. The melodies were also a part of his soul, and only a few people understood the emotion that was played along the strings. And they were the cursed ones. The zodiac and the thirteenth.

Only until recently, the Sohma's private music instructor was teaching Momiji classical. However, Momiji's sister, Momo, had taken an interest and his father had begged him to stop learning. Momiji had acquiesced to his father's happiness and now he had lost contact with the only other person who entered his desolate home. Other than her.

Momiji smiled softly in the lamp's glow and he reached inside the case and withdrew his violin and bow. He readied the instrument and began to play a sweet melody somewhat symbolising spring and how new life and love can intertwine to make something beautiful. Momiji played until the end, a smile slowly crossing his lips, and his eyes closed in bliss.

She had done that to him. She had broken down the walls of his scarred heart that fateful night at his father's building and released him from his inner torment. She allowed him to share his feelings instead of hiding them behind his loli-shota persona. At last there was someone who had the time to care, and to notice he was a real person and not a freak; not an abomination.

He carried his smile to the kitchen where he decided he would cook some ramen to eat for dinner. Momiji hated going to the house, being subjected to Akito's whims and taught manners by Akito's minders. He decided to stay home alone than go there, and anyway, no one would truly notice him missing.

As he boiled some hot water in a pot, Momiji noticed the tea towel present Tohru had given him for his birthday. It was blue and covered with little bunny rabbit patterns along the border. It was a different gift than he would have expected, but he treasured it and now it was sitting as clean-pressed as the day he received it. He laughed aloud as he remembered Tohru's face flushing in embarrassment when he had looked at it questioningly before burying his face in it to feel its softness. Kyo and the others had thought that he was acting weird, well except from Shigure who went on some rant about how beautiful Tohru's everyday items were and how he approved his unexpected behaviour.

Momiji sighed dejectedly and carried his ramen to the table to eat. However, he lost his appetite when he noticed the cat pictures surrounding his bowl and he gently placed his chopsticks aside.

'It's only a matter of time before Kyo admits his love for Tohru, and it's then that I must say goodbye. I cannot be a part of her life, when they finally become a couple and share their passionate love with the other. There is no room in her heart for me and I know this, yet I feel so sad. I want her. I love her. And yet I can never have her.

I will always be jealous of him, taking the one thing that I've truly wanted for a very long time. Someone like her to love and to hold. But this must be and I cannot change it.

All my life I have sacrificed my happiness for the happiness of others, never allowing myself to be selfish because I've always thought that they needed to be happy more than me. And it will be the same again, and I'll become alone again, with no one to be mine, or anyone to call me theirs.

This is the life I lead. Other people's happiness will be my happiness. This is what it is and always will be. For me to be a never-ending bystander and watch their happy faces around me smile.

This is my lonely happiness and this is how it should be.'


A/N: Sorry this story was rushed and perhaps not that great. I had promised three new stories to be up by the 15th and unfortunately I had trouble writing a fanfic called 'Akito's Deviant Humour.' That story was meant to be up instead of this one, yet it's unfinished. Anyway…

Merry Christmas all and a Happy New Year!

And remember…

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