Tommy Vercetti glowered upon the filthy, shit-throwing dump the local fucklings called Vice City. Watching all the hobos singing about demons and alien cowboys riding robot dragons filled him with so much fury, Tommy punched a hole in a passing police officer's head, ripped out his brain then shoved it up a singing hobo's dickhole while old ladies watched.
Overhearing Tommy's shitty rampage, CJ flew into Vice City on a Turismo which exploded tanks on contact, then fired lasers from its exhaust pipe at Tommy. He caught the laser then threw it back at the car of death, creating a Chinese contradiction which made the whole universe crash and reset. When Vice City rebooted, Claude was sitting on CJ's taint, eating dragon umbilical cord spaghetti from between Tommy's buttcheeks and singing forbidden songs which killed demons in abhorrent ways for no reason.
From the distant planet Filgaia came a demon named Blazer, who desperately offered Claude a lifetime supply of pot in exchange for his eternal silence so he may live on.
Claude accepted his deal.
His poor unfortunate soul never spoke again, but Blazer stayed true to his word, so Claude never went without weed for as long as he lived.