Author's Note: Just playing around with the FF7 universe, and having some fun with Cloud. He is such an interesting, pokey-headed character. I decided to throw some temptation his way and see how he reacted. I have to admit, he did much better than I thought. Of course, Tifa wore a smug smile for days afterwards. Apparently Cloud's really good with that sword… bwahahahaha…
Summary; Admitting the truth can be the hardest thing to do imaginable. Forcing the words out of a throat closed tight seems impossible sometimes. But when it means the difference between life and death -or the well being of a friend- a way must be found. Even for someone that isn't good with words.
Admitting the Truth
By Ivy Tanté
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Returning from watch, Cloud walked quietly into camp and roused Cid, remembering to clap a hand over his mouth to stop half-asleep profanities from waking everyone before the pilot's brain engaged. Grumbling, Cid reluctantly climbed out of his bed roll and shoved his feet into his boots, snagging the flashlight from Cloud with a dirty look.
"It's well past midnight," he snarled in a near-whisper. "You were only to patrol until 11, asshole."
"Had some things to work out, Cid. I needed the extra time."
Kid's got a lot on him, Cid thought, studying the expressionless face. It was the eyes that told the story; dark with remembrances, full of guilt and anguish. Ain't right to be so tormented. Ah, Cid, you gonna kick him while he's down? "Fine. Just don't forget I owe you a couple hours, boss. And don't argue or I'll stick this spear somewhere that ain't so comfortable. Yuffie up next?" His eyes strayed to the bundled up form barely visible in the fading light from the fire.
"Aeris volunteered to take hers. This march has been rough on her." Cloud rubbed his face with his free hand hard enough the worn leather left red streaks on his pale skin. "She's little more than a child fighting an adult's war. I have to keep reminding myself of that."
Knowing it to be the truth didn't stop Cid from grimacing. Yuffie might be on the young side, but that didn't make her irritating mouth any easier to put up with. For all his glowering attitude and cockiness, Cloud was by far the most patient with the teenaged ninja. "Sure, boss." He turned to go before recalling something, "Tifa headed out just a few minutes back for a call of nature. It's been awhile, might want check on her. That one's been doing some hard thinking too."
"I noticed," was the sighed response. Cid watched as Cloud, instead of heading for his inviting-looking bedroll, crossed the camp and reentered the woods on the opposite side. Shaking his head, Cid turned on his heel to take up watch, thinking as he did, It just plain sucks to be the boss of this motley crew…
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As Cloud worked his way toward the trench dug earlier as the 'necessity', he pondered on all that had taken place in the past weeks. So much was nothing more than a blur; other memories remained too sharp, too cutting to risk recalling. One thing remained constant - the voices shouting of reunion, Jenova, Sephiroth. They were getting louder the longer they delayed heading for the Northern Crater.
And what would have happened if Sephiroth had succeeded in killing Aeris? One of the many voices in his head whispered. You managed to block that deadly thrust by barely two inches, fighting with everything you had. It was all so chaotic and insane; mad howls, shouted commands, screams of outrage and terror… and that one voice of reason saying Aeris must be saved if we are to have hope for the planet. An entire battle, all in your head. What ARE you, Cloud Strife?
He didn't know the answer, and that terrified him.
Reaching the trenches, he frowned when he realized Tifa wasn't there. Calling out her name softly, he pushed a bit further and found her sitting on the bank of a small stream, watching blankly as the water flowed past her. "Tifa?" he asked, laying a cautious hand on her shoulder.
She started. Jerking from his touch, she leaped to her feet and whirled around, fists raised. Cloud was grateful she didn't wildly swing out, instead taking a moment to see just who it was before she struck. No matter how enhanced his strength and healing abilities, Tifa's hits hurt.
"Cloud!" she gasped, taking a step back and nearly falling into the stream. She wobbled slightly before regaining her balance, and glared at the swordsman before her. "Don't sneak up on me again," Tifa warned, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Strangely, she seemed more nervous than really angry.
"I called your name and you didn't answer," he explained, sinking to squat by the water. "Cid said you've been thinking hard for most of the day. Anything I can help with?"
The offer of assistance was nothing out of the ordinary; it was merely Cloud's way. So he was very surprised when Tifa answered, "You can, but I don't think you'd want to."
Looking up, he was shocked to see her blushing. "Tifa?" he asked uncertainly, wondering what in the world was going on in her mind to cause such a reaction.
"Sorry. I spoke before thinking. It's nothing, Cloud. Don't worry about it." Taking a peek at his expression, she sucked in a breath and took another step back that endangered her footing even more. Moving with a speed that wasn't entirely human, he managed to catch her arm before she tumbled into the water.
"Don't," he growled. "Don't tease me then withdraw. I asked; the least you can do is answer plainly. You know I don't like games, and too much is happening for me to play guess-if-you-can with your emotions." Whatever patience he might have with Yuffie just wasn't there with Tifa; he wanted her too much, needed her too much. She knew her presence could silence the voices and yet she kept her distance. To his thinking, it was a lousy way for his best friend to act.
Knowing he was right didn't make her feel any better. She was still so unsure about Cloud. The reports she and Aeris found in the ShinRa Mansion in Nibelheim answered many questions but created even more. In her heart she knew this was the same Cloud Strife of her childhood - yet how much of that sweet child remained in the man he'd become?
And how could she trust him with her heart when he didn't even trust himself?
She'd taken too long to answer; with a sigh he released her and turned toward the camp. "Let me know when you figure it out. And don't stay out here much longer - it's getting colder and you're not exactly dressed warmly." That was an understatement if even there was one concerning her outfit, and he'd noticed goose bumps on her arms when he prevented her from falling into the stream.
"Cloud?"
Something in her voice stopped him. It was in the tone - faint and almost… wishful? Confused, he turned and felt his jaw literally hit his boots. Tifa was removing that tiny little white t-shirt that so sweetly molded her generous feminine curves, her suspenders all ready discarded on the moss-covered stones by the creek. The t-shirt was tossed away without a care as she reached behind her to deal with the catches on her bra in the same determined way she prepared for a battle.
Cloud wasn't sure how to react. Shocked, stunned, flabbergasted, outraged? None of the above, you idiot! It was the calm voice, the one he considered the 'sane' voice, that shouted at him now. Move, man! Can't you see you've managed to shove her into a corner? She's got to respond to your challenge whether she's ready or not, and from the way she's going about this, I'll bet 'not ready' is the winner here. Do you want her doing this to prove a point, or because she actually wants your crazy ass?
Point, he thought. Stepping forward quickly, he grasped her elbows and stopped her from releasing the last fastener. "Stop!" That came out harsher than he wished; she flinched and tried to draw away. Determinedly, he planted his feet and made her look up at him. "Tifa," he started, then gave her a gentle shake when she wouldn't look him in the eyes. "Tifa," he growled again, and watched as she reluctantly raised those fascinating cinnamon eyes to his. "I need you to listen to me for a minute, okay? You know I'm not good with words and I need to get everything out before you side-track me." When she hesitantly nodded, he breathed a sigh of relief and let her go.
Pacing over to a tree, he leaned against the trunk and crossed his arms over his chest. He knew he was putting distance between them -both mental and physical- but he needed it if he was to get through this. "I am going to tell you, just this once, that I want you." He watched her eyes go wide with shock before holding up a hand. "Just this once, Tifa. I know the situation isn't the best and we'll all on edge, but I'm not going to lie about this. I've…" Taking a deep breath, he resolutely locked his gaze to hers and admitted, "I love you. And I have been in love with you all my life. I do not love Aeris as anything more than a sister, and Yuffie is a certified brat in the making. You are the one I want, the one I need, the one I crave more than anything in this world."
Tifa could hardly believe the words coming out of Cloud Strife's mouth. Love? He hadn't said falling in love, he had stressed been in love with her all his life. It made her heart leap into her throat. Then she got mad. If he told me this to begin with, I wouldn't have hesitated just now. But… it makes things even more complicated than before. Angry he hadn't trusted her with the truth, she straightened her spine and rapped out, "And you haven't bothered to tell me before now? Do you have ANY idea what I've been going through since the Forgotten City? Aeris wasn't the only one almost killed in that battle with Sephiroth!"
Both Cloud and Nanaki had taken grave wounds from the Masamune; only Aeris' magical skill had enabled the injuries to be healed, with the help of the Lifestream tainted waters and Zack's unselfish assistance. The appearance of the Soldier, 1st Class had opened so many of the mental blocks in Cloud's mind that he'd lost consciousness for nearly an hour.
And in that time, between the eight other diverse members of their team and that powerful Lifestream, Zack Fair returned to the world of the living.
"I know, Tifa. But you have to admit you've been very unsure about me. Zack's return proves many of my memories were taken from his life, not mine. I've always considered you my best friend, Tifa. I wouldn't be a very good one if I took advantage of your uncertainties." He hesitated a moment before gesturing vaguely towards her, "Mind telling me exactly what you hoped to accomplish by stripping in front of me?"
She at least had the grace to flush. Looking away, she muttered, "You asked if you could help. What I wanted from you was a few minutes where thinking wasn't required."
Cloud blinked. Cleared his throat. Shuffled his feet. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore and asked, "Really?"
Laughing, she threw herself at the swordsman, their bodies colliding with enough force to send them both tumbling onto the moss-covered ground beneath the trees. "Yes! Oh, you are truly an idiot, Cloud." Still laughing, she yanked his head up and pressed her lips to his.
Oh. Oh… Went his mind as the feel of her kiss spread throughout his entire being. Too startled to close his eyes, he watched as she lengthened the contact, tilting her head for a better fit. The soft rub and slid made his breath hitch.
Ending the kiss, Tifa drew back slightly to see what he would do. Cloud was such an enigma, and she'd noticed how closely he'd watched her during the intimate caress. The intensely blue eyes were wide with surprise; not at the act, but at the sensation. Then they narrowed and focused on her bottom lip - suddenly Tifa couldn't breathe, nearly frozen by the intense concentration.
He leaned forward, carefully fitting his lips to hers. The contact was headier this time, a little stronger, a lot less hesitant. His lips were firm yet incredibly soft, and they stroked over her own in a way that made her clutch the front of his knit top as the world decided to take a leisurely spin. Then everything spiraled out of her control as his tongue slid smoothly across her upper lip. "So sweet," he murmured, and did the same to her bottom lip.
It was too much of an invitation. Moaning, she opened her mouth and felt him sweep inside.
Tifa had been kissed before. By her childhood friends, by Johnny, by drunken patrons at her bar. But never like this. Like her taste was the most incredible thing he'd ever experienced. Like he could never get enough.
Both were totally oblivious to the outside world, so the loud shriek of a monster and -thwack- of a bladed weapon slicing into said monster had them both leaping to their feet in a hurry. Smirking, Zack Fair put a foot on his victim and yanked out the Buster sword, pausing to flick off the gore.
"You both have barrier Materia; use it!" he told them cheerfully, careful to keep his eyes on Cloud and not the barely clad form of Tifa standing behind the spiky-haired swordsman.
With a sigh, Cloud shook his head and muttered, "Thanks, Zack."
"Thank Cid. He's making so much noise doing his 'patrol' that any monster in the vicinity is double-timing it here to see what all the fuss is about. So get in gear and help us with the infestation!" So saying, he turned back toward camp and started walking away. Cloud seriously doubted Tifa heard the Solider 1st Class whisper, "Man!" …and he was not referring to the situation with the monster, either.
Tifa's eyes were sparkling as she said, "Oops?"
And Cloud had to laugh. "A very big oops. You will, of course, not hear a word spoken about this. But I doubt very seriously that he will ever let me live it down." Stooping, he gathered up her shirt and suspenders, offering them to her with a sheepish smile. "Rain-check just doesn't seem to be the term to use right now, does it?"
Reaching out, Tifa caressed his face gently before accepting the clothing from him. "It will work. Until next time, Cloud Strife." She waited until he'd taken a step away from her to challenge, "And may the best opponent win."