Author's Foreword
Recently, I've rediscovered this Olympic-themed series on Youtube. I thought it might be interesting to write a crossover where the Laff-A-Lympic teams competed with another team, or two, from a different franchise. Naturally, with these events taking place in Oz and Kansas, it would make sense that some of L. Frank Baum's characters would form a team and join in on the fun. This story will be similar to my previous fic, Star Wars: The Competition Wars.
In order to avoid any bias for or against a particular team, I randomly select the order of finish before each event. This means I have no idea who is going to win each event – or the overall competition – in advance. This also makes it fun to come up with a believable narrative that ends with the selected outcome. This way, the Scooby Doobies won't be winning 60% of the time as they did during the show's original run.
In lieu of having to constantly include direct quotes from the show's unnamed narrator, I will use an italicized third person point of view for his play-by-play and commentary.
Greetings, sports fans. It's time for an unusual edition of the All-star Laff-A-Lympics. Our first exciting events will take place in the elegant Emerald City in the Land of Oz. From there, we return closer to home to Wichita, Kansas for our fabulous final events. With four teams competing today: the Yogi Yahooeys, the Scooby Doobies, the Really Rottens, and the Awesome Ozites, the competition will be out of this world as our teams compete for the coveted Laff-A-Lympics Gold Medal.
Now, let's go to our reporters, Snagglepuss and Mildew Wolf, as they get ready for our first event.
"Hello, everybody. Greetings and salutations, even. Snagglepuss here at our first event: the Yellow Brick Road Rally. Each team will have three members run from our starting line here in Munchkin Country to the finish line at the gates of the Emerald City."
"Representing the Yogis will be a rather bearable combination: Yogi, Boo Boo, and Cindy Bear. Yogi, do you really think you can win?"
"Hey, hey, hey, Snag. We're definitely faster than the average bear."
"Well said. And representing the Scoobies, we have Scooby Doo, Scooby Dum, and Dynomutt."
"Hey, that's me!" Dynomutt exclaimed.
"Thanks for stating the obvious, dog blunder," the Blue Falcon added from the spectator area."
"Scooby, do you think you can take first place in our first event?"Snagglepuss asked.
"Yeah!" Scooby replied.
"That question was dumb dumb dumb dumb," Scooby Dum added.
"For the Really Rottens we have Mumbly, Dread Baron, and the Great Fondoo," Snagglepuss told the audience.
Mumbly snickered upon hearing his name mentioned.
"I couldn't have said it any better myself. And for the home team of sorts, we have the Tin Man, the Shaggy Man, and the Wizard of Oz himself. So tell me, do you really think you guys have a chance?"
"I know in my heart we have the mettle for it. Get it?" The Tin Man asked.
Snagglepuss rolled his eyes. "Mildew, explain the scoring for everybody," he stated.
"Thanks, Snag. Just like our normal games, first place is 25 points. Second place is 15 points, and third is 10 points. With a fourth team in today's games, the judges decided to award six points to the team in last place. And don't forget: we deduct a minimum of ten points for illegal cheating."
The Really Rottens, upon hearing about the cheating penalty, rained a number of catcalls down on Mildew. Before he could come up with a witty retort, however, the sharp sound of a flugelhorn derailed his train of thought.
"There's the starting signal, everybody, good luck!" Snagglepuss called out.
And our first set of racers is making tracks. The Tin Man has the early lead and looks to cut down the rest of his competition.
"Just wait until he passes under this tree, right, darling?" Mrs. Creepley asked her husband from the branch of a tall tree.
"That's right, my dear. Once we dump this bucket of water on that bucket head, he'll rust in place – last place," Mr. Creepley replied with an evil giggle.
As our racers approach the first exchange point, the Tin Man is still in the lead, followed by Scooby Doo with Mumbly and Yogi neck and neck in the back. What's this – a leaking tree?
"It's certainly not a weeping willow," Dread Baron deadpanned.
As the Tin Man ran under the tree, he realized the water would quickly rust him, especially because he didn't have his oil can. Sure enough, he slowed down and struggled just to take small steps.
"I guess I should have stretched more to avoid these stiff joints," he stated as he froze a step and a half away from the exchange point. Unable to tag the Shaggy man, they couldn't continue.
With the Tin Man doing his best impression of a statue, Scooby Doo has tagged Scooby Dum, who takes over the lead. Yogi and Mumbly have just tagged Boo Boo and Dread Baron respectively to keep the race close.
"Dum dum dum dum," Scooby Dum called out, to the first four notes of Beethoven's Fifth. Behind him, Boo Boo and Dread Baron closed the gap.
Back at the exchange point, a soft breeze started to blow. With an idea for a last-ditch attempt at getting back into the race, the Tin Man did his best to lean forward. Sure enough the wind blew and pushed him into the Shaggy Man. The latter ran as fast as he could to try to catch up to the others.
As we reach the final exchange, The Rottens, Scoobys, and Yogis are in a dead heat with the Shaggy Man frantically trying to catch up.
Scooby Dum, in his attempt to tag Dynomutt, tripped and knocked his teammate off his feet.
"I know ties are a good thing, but we're not supposed to be tied with each other," Dynomutt told Scooby Dum as the former tried to untangle his mechanical limbs.
"Now he tells me," Sooby Dum replied.
After the latest mishap, the Really Rottens are now in the lead. Cindy is a close second with the Wizard of Oz trying to catch up while Dynomutt tries to get back on his feet – err, paws.
Suddenly, Cindy hobbled off to the side after she accidentally stepped on a small rock. Now, the race was down to the Great Fondoo, the Wizard, and Dynomutt.
"I shall stop the Wizard with a blizzard," Fondoo stated. As he ran, he gestured his hands and said, "Abracadabra, abraca-gizzard, stop the wizard with a sudden blizzard."
After a loud explosion and a puff of smoke, the Wizard found himself buried in thee feet [0.91 m] of snow. Dynomutt did his best to catch up to Fondoo, but to no avail. By this time, Cindy recovered enough to run towards the finish line and pass the Wizard, who did his best to dig himself out of the snow.
And at the finish line, we have the Really Rottens in first place, followed by Dynomutt for the Scooby Doobies, Cindy for the Yogis, and the Wizard bringing up the rear.
"I knew the Wizard was pretty flaky," Dread Baron told everyone as the rest of the Rottens cheered and Mumbly snickered.
"I may be a humbug, but the Great Fondoo's magic was very cheesy," the Wizard retorted.
"Brack!" the Magic Rabbit exclaimed.
The Rottens get 25 points for their finish. The Scoobies get 15 and the Yogis get 10. The host Ozites get 6 points for last place.
"I'm now here at Lake Quad where it meets with the Winkie River for our next event – Winkie water polo." Mildew Wolf told the audience.
All four teams cheered loudly.
"For the Yogis, we have Wally Gator."
Wally chuckled as he replied, "Thanks, Mildew. I'm a water creature, you know, so I should be a natural at this."
"For the Scoobies, we have the Blue Falcon."
"Win or lose, you can be sure our team will have the best sportsmanship in this event," the Blue Falcon promised.
"If that doesn't make you want to find a cape and be a super hero, nothing will. For the Rottens, we have Orful Octopus."
Orful made a number of intelligible gurgling noises, but Mr. Creepley translated them for Mildew.
"Orful says with eight legs, he's got twice the chance of winning this event."
"That remains to be seen, Creepley," Mildew answered. He then looked around. "Are my eyes deceiving me, or do the Ozites have no contestant?"
A short distance away, Ozma was frantic to find someone to participate in the event. Everyone she asked so far declined.
"I'd do it, but I have a sinking feeling I'm not the best person for this," the Scarecrow told her.
"And my swimming skills are a bit rusty," the Tin Man replied.
"I'll do it," a voice finally called out. Everyone turned to see Dorothy in a one-piece swimsuit that looked like something from the early 20th century. The striped garment covered her from her ankles to her middle arms.
"Dorothy, do you really think you have a chance?" Mildew asked her.
"Of course. If I can survive a tornado, a storm in a chicken coop, and swim to safety, I can play a game in the water," she assured him.
"Snag, explain the rules for our viewing audience."
"I will, Mildew. Yes I will. We will have two teams play each other, tournament style. The winners will play for first place and the losers will play for third. Each team gets one shot on goal. In the event of a tie, the next goal wins. Standard rules apply, so no cheating, even."
Once again, the Rottens rained boos and catcalls towards Snagglepuss.
"Quiet you savages!" Mildew told the Rottens.
Our first game features the Rottens and the Scoobies. The Blue Falcon will go first, followed by Orful Octopus.
"Go, B.F., you can do it," Dynomutt called out.
Orful took his position defending the goal. As the Blue Falcon took the ball and prepared to shoot, Orful spun his outstretched tentacles around like a fan, making it nearly impossible to score a goal against him. Needless to say, Blue Falcon's shot was easily deflected away.
The only chance for the Scoobies was if Blue Falcon could stop Orful and continue the shootout. Orful once again used his spinning tentacles to make it difficult to see which ones held the ball. Without realizing what happened until it was too late, the Blue Falcon noticed the ball inside the net.
And with the only goal, Orful advances to the finals for the Rottens.
"Good job, Orful, you beat me fair and square," The Blue Falcon said.
Our second qualifying game features the Ozites and the Yogis. Wally has the first shot.
As Dorothy got into position at the net, Wally scooped up the ball and pondered his options. As he prepared to throw the ball, it slipped out of his hands, rolled down his back and tail, and towards the net. Dorothy, thinking the shot was a sure miss, didn't react until the ball sailed past her into the net.
Wally scores a goal for the Yogis. Dorothy will have to score here, or the hosts will settle for the consolation game.
Dorothy did her best to ignore the pressure of the situation. She stared at Wally and quickly threw the ball. It appeared as if her aim was too high, but it hit the crossbar and entered the net. Now, the next person to score would win.
Wally was determined to score in a more conventional way this time. Unfortunately, his ball hit the water in front of Dorothy. She put her hands up and knocked it safely away from the goal. She now had one more chance to win the game.
Dorothy took the ball in her right hand and then moved it to her left hand. Wally, anticipating a shot, dived to that side. Dorothy then aimed for the opposite corner now that it was open and scored the winning goal.
Our winning teams, the Rottens and the Ozites will play again in a moment. But first, we will play our consolation game between the Scoobies and the Yogis.
The Blue Falcon prepared to take his shot. Wally leaped up into the air to try to knock it away. Everyone looked at the net to see what landed inside. However, it was only Wally's hat, which was knocked off from the combination of Wally's leap and the impact of the ball.
Wally now had a chance to win the consolation game. He stalked his opponent in the water and aimed for the lower left corner. The Blue Falcon dived frantically, but he was a fraction too late. The ball entered the net.
With the Yogis taking third place, we now move on to our championship game between the Ozites and the Rottens.
As Orful took his spot in front of the goal and spun his tentacles, Dorothy's intimidation grew. She didn't see how she could succeed, but she knew her teammates depended on her to try. Still, Orful easily deflected her throw back at her.
Dorothy, however remained determined. If she could stop Orful's shot, she'd have another chance to win. Orful wound up for shot, but it looked as if he might shoot the ball too high.
It appears Orful's shot is over the goalpost... wait, somehow he coaxed it into the net for the winning goal. How did he do that?
"Let's check the instant replay, shall we?" Mildew suggested.
"We will indeed, indeed we will," Snagglepuss replied. "Activate the anti-cheat replay detector."
As we watch Orful take his shot, it appears to be going above the crossbar when the goal suddenly raises … from Dread Baron lifting it with a helicopter's winch.
The Rottens booed upon discovery of their cheat.
"For using despicable underhanded trickery, the Rottens are disqualified and everyone else moves up a position," Mildew told everyone.
The Ozites take first place after the adjusted results and now have 31 points. The Yogis' 15 point finish moved them up to 25. The Scoobys 10 points move them up to 25 points. And the Rottens get no points for their disqualification and lose 10 points to drop into dead last with 15 points.
"That wraps up the first half of our events. But stick around for the second half, everyone. It's going to interesting – fun even" Snagglepuss said.
"I can hardly wait," Mildew replied.
"We're going home. We're going home," Dorothy exclaimed happily.
The Magic Rabbit gave an unimpressed, "Brack!"
Stay tuned for our Kansas conclusion in the second half of the Laff-a-Lympics. ▄
Scoreboard: Awesome Ozites 31, Yogi Yahooeys 25, Scooby Doobies 25, Really Rottens 15.