Malace || Shadowhunters || Malace || A Friend || Malace || Shadowhunters || Malace
Title: A Friend – Trying To Fix Himself
Fandom: Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments
Disclaimer: All rights to the Shadowhunters reserved to Ed Decter, the books the Shadowhunters is based off and its characters belong to Cassandra Clare. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.
Warnings: shounen-ai, polyamory (threesome), hurt/comfort, friendship
Main Pairing: Magnus/Alec/Jace (mentioned only)
Shadowhunters Characters: Alexander Gideon 'Alec' Lightwood, Lydia Branwell
Summary: Set after episode 2x11 "Mea Maxima Culpa"! I decided to write a version that goes with the universe after all. So, just some Alec rage on Izzy's behalf and confusion all around.
A Friend
Trying To Fix Himself
Alec was feeling so lost. He hated feeling so lost. But after everything that had been happening, he wouldn't even know what else he could possibly be feeling, really.
Not that he minded comforting Jace – comforting Jace was his privilege as both Jace's parabatai and Jace's boyfriend – but it was emotionally draining. Seeing his parabatai cry, clinging onto Alec in despair, it was painful. Painful to watch and painful to feel. Jace's feelings conveyed through the bond were only making it all feel even heavier, making Alec feel so desperate himself. And it didn't help that he didn't have Magnus to lean on right now.
The warlock had been behaving odd when he had parted for the day. It was not typical for Magnus to be so dismissive of either of his boyfriends. Then again, it had been a very straining day. The disappearance of Isabelle, trying to track her down with the help of Valentine and a demon... He probably just had a lot on his mind, just like Alec. Maybe Magnus just needed a moment to himself too, something that wouldn't last for long until Jace would return home to the loft for the night. Not that Alec was entirely sure where exactly Jace was right now. The inquisitor had requested another round of training for Clary and Jace, because she wanted to dissect them. Take them apart to learn their abilities. Another thing that weighed heavy on Alec; the fear that somehow the Clave would start and try to weaponize Jace. After all, Alec had seen what Jace was capable of. The way Jace had just shaken off the demon's hold, had been the only one strong enough to defy it. Perhaps, Alec mused, that was what was weighing Magnus down too. Magnus was very protective and very in control, maybe he was angry that he hadn't been able to protect Alec and Jace from the demon. It wouldn't surprise Alec, not really. Maybe Alec should give both his lovers some space tonight.
"You look like you could use a drink."
Alec looked up to see Lydia Branwell stand before him. He quirked a small smile. He was fond of her. She was strong, clever and compassionate. In another life, Alec knew the two of them would have been happy. And yet, Lydia was gracious enough to understand that in this life, they weren't, something that only made him value her even more. He knew he could trust her, could rely on her. With her gone, the Institute had felt just a bit unsafer. It was good to gather those close to him, those trustworthy, around him. Lydia stood there, as elegant and perfect as ever.
"It's good to have you back", declared Alec as he nodded at her in greeting. "And yeah... you could say that my day has been... less than relaxing."
"Then how about I buy us both drinks?", suggested Lydia. "To catch up over?"
Lydia returned his small smile and with a confirming nod from Alec, the two of them made their way to the Hunter's Moon. It had been due time that she returned to the Institute, if not as acting head but at least as reinforcement. After all, they were in the middle of a war. With Jace and Magnus safely on their way home to the loft, both seeming kind of out of it, perhaps Lydia was the right person to talk to. Perhaps this was a good way of giving them some space and still gaining something for himself. A moment to sort his thoughts with the assistance of a loyal friend.
"What happened?", asked Lydia as they received their drinks, sitting together at the bar.
It was strange, Alec was currently bottling so many things up and in a way, when Lydia looked at him like that, he felt like he could trust her with his darkest secrets. After all, she had understood and supported his decision to be with Magnus, despite what anyone else would think.
"I'm...", started Alec, trying to find the right point to start. "Isabelle disappeared, in the middle of this higher demon drama. And.. And Clary, Magnus, Jace and I, we... came up with a plan. A bad plan. Granted, I should have known better than to trust Clary's judgment. Or Jace's judgment when Clary is involved." He paused and sighed. "I shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place, I'm the reasonable person in this. I should have been the reasonable person in this. But I was desperate to find her. In the end, the demon didn't even have her. No, she was just... hanging out with a total stranger and didn't even think of calling to tell us she's alright."
He took a long drink from his cocktail and sighed before regarding her. Lydia chuckled.
"You're a man of strategy and plans. But you surround yourself with people who only act instinctively on their guts' intuition", stated Lydia before sobering up a little. "You know there will be consequences. Word of you summoning a higher demon inside the Institute is spreading fast and the inquisitor will not be a fan of it. But... you did it to protect your sister. And I've seen it first hand, how helpless one is when forced with the combined efforts of Clary and Jace Fairchild." Lydia paused for a short moment, frowning. "Well, I suppose Jace is back to being a Wayland?"
"Honestly, I have no idea", sighed Alec, taking another long sip from his cocktail. "It's part of the package deal of problems I'm trying to deal with and figure out. Jace is back to square one, but this time it hurts even more because he... had this... chance, at a family. For a fleeting moment, he had the chance to meet his mother just to have her die before they could. Then he had a sister to cling onto, just to learn that that had only been a lie. And now..."
"It's complicated?", suggested Lydia, clinking her glass against his.
"Story of my life", snorted Alec as he emptied his glass.
"Are... things with Magnus good, at least?", asked Lydia tentatively.
Alec made a bit of a face. He couldn't tell her about Jace. He liked her, but he couldn't burden her with the secret, forbidden relationship between the two parabatai. It was for the best if as few people as possible – namely only Alec, Magnus and Jace – knew about that.
"I... guess", shrugged Alec with a frown. "Honestly? Having a relationship is... hard, for me. I keep screwing up. Lashing out on Magnus when he did whatever was in his powers to help me. I'm just not used to have someone be strong for me like that. I guess I'm still adjusting to having Magnus. But yeah, I think things are good. We... uh... admitted that we're in love with each other, after the whole Soul Sword disaster. We're... good, together. Happy together."
"That's... nice", nodded Lydia with a slightly sorrowful smile. "And how are you and Clary? After you... after the demon made you kill her mother? Things were tense, when we last spoke."
"Yeah", drawled Alec out with a sigh. "I guess I'm seeing her more as an ally these days, but she's still driving me up the wall with her recklessness that is not as charming as Jace's recklessness; I'll tell you that. Anyway, how have you been? You recovered well in Idris?"
Lydia offered him a slightly bemused smile before entertaining him with an update on Idris. After the day he has had, it was exactly what Alec had needed. No more drama, not thinking about Izzy's stupid decisions, Jace's pain or Magnus' strange behavior. Just... a friend, to distract him.
~*~ The End ~*~
Author's note: I'm a little obsessive about things being proper. And with the way my take on episode 11 does not comply with canon or the other shots in this little series so far, I have decided to do a second take on episode 11. One that follows the canonical events, regardless of how ridiculous some of the decisions made were. But since I didn't want a hurt/comfort scene then - because it would involve Alec and Jace kissing... Valentine in Magnus' body and that thought is just disturbing - I figured "What else can I change?". So I brought one of my favorite characters back into the show. I love Lydia. I love the potential between Alec and Lydia as friends, so I've decided to bring her back from Idris to join season 2B and to provide an open ear and a shoulder to Alec! ;)