Title: Lapses
Author: AoN (bellalinguista)
Word Count: 2,300
Rating: G
Summary: Steve goes to visit Peggy at the home. On his way there, he runs into someone else.
Steve promised he would visit her in the retirement home in Washington D.C. as often as he could. After all, he couldn't leave his best girl behind, not when she still owed him a long overdue dance.
It was only his second visit to the facility, but Steve entered the building, punched the code to unlock the door, and proceeded through it as though it were already an accustomed ritual. He kept his head down, but not in an attempt to keep his anonymity. No, Steve does not look up as he walked through the common area because of guilt. He should not be witnessing this – shells of former people unknown even to themselves. These were the people Steve should have seen in their glory days. These are the people he should have grown old with, especially one in particular.
Being frozen in the ice took Steve away from their time – his time.
Steve did not look up until he found himself coming upon the corridor housing the residents' private rooms. Some of the doors were open. As he past most, he was met with silence. A couple he past overhearing incomprehensible mumbling and frustrated complaints about misplacing objects. From another room emerged a nurse too preoccupied with perhaps the weight and daily responsibilities of her job. She nearly collided head first with Steve who stepped aside at the last moment.
"Oh! I'm sorry, honey, I didn't see you there!" she apologized quickly before continuing on her way.
"No problem, ma'am," Steve replied, unsure whether or not he was heard. The nurse was too focused on the task at hand to realize her run in with Captain America.
He appreciated it. There was less of a hassle this way.
Turning the corner as he reached the end of the hallway, Steve knew he would be at his destination in three more doors, to the left, but he lingered just outside the first door he passed.
He had expected the corridor to be empty. There were not many patients registered to this part of the wing, yet just outside the door that he wanted, the chair he had walked by during his last visit was now occupied. The older woman was still wearing her coat, clutching her purse close to her chest as she continued to stare off into space. From where he stood, Steve could see her frowning. He could see her cheeks stained by dry tears.
Looking over his shoulder in hopes of finding the nurse once more, Steve found no one else. They were alone in the hallway. He could not just ignore her.
"Ma'am, are you lost?" Steve asked, slowly approaching the stranger. "May I help you back to your room?" he offered.
His questions were met with a small, weak laugh.
"Oh, no, dear. I'm no patient," she replied. "I'm a visitor."
Steve's gaze looked up at the closed door and then back to the woman. "I apologize for my mistake. I'm sorry," he said. "Is everything okay, ma'am?"
"It's the course of this terrible disease, young man," she responded, still staring intently at the carpeted floor. "There are good days and there are… bad days. Today, well, today… the woman to whom I gave the best and worst years of my life – my dear and best friend, who I love so much… she looked at me as though I were nothing more than a stranger. Can you even begin to imagine what that feels like?"
For a moment, Steve stayed silent as he was taken back to the freeway not to far from here, where he learned that the Winter Soldier was actually Bucky. There was also their fight on one of SHIELD's three Helicarriers, where his childhood friend shot him in the stomach. Bucky had stared him down, with no sense of familiarity. Although Steve stressed that he was still Bucky's friend, Bucky declared him to be only a mission.
In the end, Steve decided to shake his head.
"No, ma'am, I can't say that I do," he answered. "I'm sorry."
"You apologize a lot for-" she stopped mid-sentence as she finally looked up at him. "Why I never… I never expected to see you again, Captain."
"Do we, uh, know each other?"
Shaking her head, she fished a tissue from her purse to wipe at her eyes. "You had no reason to remember little old me," she replied. "I saw you on your war tour ages ago… and then, well, then I heard so many stories from English through the years."
"English?" Steve repeated, eyebrows furrowing in slight confusion. A short second later, he realized. "Peggy," he clarified for himself. "You two are close? Ms… um, I don't think I caught your name."
"Angela, but you, dear, can call me 'Angie,'" she introduced herself. "And saying we're close doesn't do our relationship justice."
"So more than close."
"Fondueing, even," Angie teased, but her lips thinned back into a frown. "But on days such as this one, when she looks at me blankly, confused… I'm afraid I'm nobody."
Glancing over his shoulder, Steve found an empty chair. Grabbing it by the armrest, he pulled it over next to Angie and took a seat. "She's not lucid then – how bad are these memory lapses?"
"They're becoming more and more frequent," Angie said with a light sigh. "And you never know how long they will last, if you can snap her out of them. So, even though she's in there, thinking we're still at war, I know that she is the one I promised I'd stay by through sickness – through this – even though, mentally, she's about a year away from walking into the automat I used to work at for the first time."
"She's lucky to have you, Angie."
"No, Captain Rogers, I'm lucky to have her," Angie corrected. Steve spotted newly formed tears in the corner of her eyes. "No one else during our early years believed in me as much as she did – or believed in my aspirations and dreams. Oh, if you could see the bouquet of flowers she gave me when I made my Broadway debut. I wanted to return the gesture when SHIELD was established, but they don't really do bouquets for founding a government agency. Not a common occurrence, but we celebrated in our ways."
Steve narrowed his eyes a bit as he cheekily said, "Fondueing?"
"Your head is in the gutter, Captain," Angie remarked with a small smirk that son turned into a genuine smile. "We went dancing."
Their eyes met and Steve matched her smile, but his quickly diminished. "We were supposed to go dancing at the Stork Club-"
"Eight o'clock on a Saturday," Angie finished for him.
"So you've heard."
"Once or twice, yes," Angie grinned. "I'll never forget that evening and I know she never willingly would. We had just finished a swing dance and didn't make it off the floor in time – the next song had started. It was a slow little tune, a much needed break from all the swinging. She was teasing when she offered me that dance. I don't think she expected me to take her up on that offer, but I did."
Angie paused to momentarily look away. Steve, who was listening intently, did not dare to interrupt her. When Angie turned her attention back to him, she dabbed her eyes with the tissue she still had in her hand.
"I knew I would never compare to the great Captain America. No one could – ah, don't interrupt, dear. It's rude," Angie warned. "During that dance, I told her such. I also told her that I didn't want to be. I wanted to be part of her life. Her new life. Her life after the war. I told her that I knew I was in trouble from the first time she came to the automat when I was on the job – and it had nothing to do with her little secret agent double life. No, I knew I was in trouble because for the first time in my life – and also the last time – I was falling in love with the most beautiful person. I prayed to God and all the saints that she had been as well."
"And?"
"And?" Angie repeated, aghast. "A smart man like you can't guess the ending?"
"What can I say? I'm a sucker for a good story."
With a small chuckle, Angie reached out to pat his cheek. "Well, aren't you a sweetheart," she commented. "Alright then. The feelings were mutual. On that day, on that dance floor, that's when we promised each other forever and, dear, we've been blessed with a long forever – one that I wouldn't trade for the world, even this part because… because she is still my English. She is still my Peggy."
Steve watched as the faint smiling Angie turned slightly to look over her shoulder, towards the closed door that would lead into Peggy's room if they crossed it. As silence fell between the two of them, Steve found himself unsure of what to do next. In an attempt to comfort her, Steve reached out and placed his hand over hers on her lap. Her attention returned instantly to him.
"I'm sorry, dear," Angie apologized, clearing her throat and stuffing her tissue back into her purse. "I'm sure you didn't want to listen to a little old woman ramble – at least, not this one."
"No, that's alright, really," Steve reassured, standing as soon as Angie did. "Ma'am-"
"Angie," she corrected.
"Angie," Steve stated. "From what I gather, your date didn't go the way you wanted it. I get that and I would sure hate for you to go home upset. You don't deserve that."
"Well, Captain-"
"Steve."
"Pardon?"
"You asked me to call you 'Angie.' I want you to call me 'Steve,'" he explained.
"Alright then, Steve," Angie said. "As I've said, there are some bad days among the many good. I need to accept them both."
He nodded. "I can respect that," he replied. "But I'd much rather you go home with another good day to remember. I don't expect you to give me a chance, but I'd appreciate it if you did," he told her, gesturing to the seat she had just vacated.
xxxx
Despite Angie warning him that one of these lapses could last a while, Steve had still been determined. He did not know how long he had been talking to Peggy before she came to again. As he approached the door, Steve only hoped that Angie had believed in him long enough to stick around.
He peeked out into the hallway and turned his head to the right, instantly meeting Angie's eye as she shifted to the edge of her seat. Fighting back a triumphant smirk, Steve nodded. She stood and Steve opened the door wide, allowing her to re-enter the room.
From the room's entrance, Steve watched as Angie took a step into the middle of the room. He watched Peggy's eyes lit up and her smile grow so wide. Angie immediately went to her side and take the seat Steve had earlier occupied.
Steve took a couple steps back into the room and stood at the foot of the bed. He watched in silence as the two, holding hands, quickly delved in their usual small talk, just to check in with each other. Once Peggy was satisfied, she looked back to Steve.
"Oh! How rude of me," Peggy exclaimed. "Steve, this is Angela Martinelli-"
"Angie," Steve corrected with a grin. "Yeah, we met in the hallway."
Angie lend in closer to Peggy to murmur, unaware that Steve could still hear, "You really can eat him with a spoon."
With a stifled laugh, Peggy patted the back of Angie's hand.
Steve chuckled before speaking up. "So, I guess you really have lived a life, Peggy," he commented.
"A full one," Peggy replied with a nod, placing a small kiss on the back of Angie's hand.
He could not help but take another look at the framed photos near Peggy's beside. During his first visit, he had assumed they were her kids, especially after hearing about her husband in the video clip at the museum.
"It's all a cover," Peggy commented. She must have caught Steve's wandering eyes. "Given the times and the dangerous enemies SHIELD was making, I couldn't put my loved ones at risk."
"You must have been a brilliant actress, then," Steve remarked.
"Nowhere near as brilliant as Angie here," Peggy retorted. "Would you like to know my favorite performance of hers?"
"Oh, no, he doesn't want to hear about that," Angie interjected.
"Performance of a life time," Peggy continued.
"Well, in that case, I have to hear it," Steve replied.
"It was better than any Broadway production, even her Tony nominated performance," Peggy began. "It was at the Griffith House, in… 1946?"
She looked over at Angie for confirmation. Angie nodded.
"I'd been made," Peggy went on. "The SSR agents were on my tail and I was stuck outside the third floor, standing on the storm drain outside of Angie's window. She was in her room and the agents were questioning her, about to discover my whereabouts, but then… that's when she shown brilliantly. Crying real tears as she anguished over her struggles as an actress, but her grandmother believed in her so much – she couldn't let her down. Oh, she made those agents so uncomfortable. They vanished so quickly."
"That is rather brilliant," Steve agreed.
"Then she went off to procure me a getaway car," Peggy added. "No questions asked."
"Not that she would let me ask anyway," Angie added. "I still don't understand why that's your favorite – I've taken on some fantastic roles on the stage, English."
Peggy squeezed Angie's hand. She smiled as their eyes met. "Because, my sweet darling, that's when I realized I was in trouble – that I was falling – and I will never forget that moment. I promise."
End
