Author: MegTDJ
Category: Missing scene; drama
Rating: PG
Pairing: McKay/Weir
Spoilers: Hot Zone
Summary: Every Atlantis ship writer needs to write a balcony scene at some point.
Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis, its universe and its characters are not mine. The story itself is, however, so please don't archive without my permission.
Author's notes: I loved this episode!!!! Poor Rodney... ((snuggles him)) I guess I should dedicate this to all the people who kept asking me, "When are you going to write a tag for Hot Zone???" I wrote it as soon as I could, guys, believe me!!! I hope you enjoy it. :)
Starlight
Elizabeth couldn't sleep.
It was starting to get old, too. Every time something big happened on Atlantis, she would spend the next night tossing and turning. Or, as had happened the last couple of times, she and Rodney would gravitate towards each other and spend the night talking and offering each other whatever comfort they needed.
She had to admit that these late night powwows felt really good, but she was starting to feel guilty about it at the same time. She was, after all, the leader of this expedition, and to show favouritism for any one of the people under her command could turn out to be a very bad thing. Besides that, she was still committed to Simon, and although they were galaxies apart now, that was no excuse for betraying his trust.
So, no Rodney tonight. She did, however, need to walk.
She was up and dressed within seconds, and then she left her room to start wandering aimlessly through the halls. As she walked, she thought over the events of the day in detail, from the moment Rodney had announced that there was a contagion loose in the city to the moment she had heard Major Sheppard's voice from the puddle jumper saying he was okay. Her emotions had been up and down for hours, and she realized then that she hadn't yet recovered from it.
For one thing, she still couldn't believe that Major Sheppard had defied her orders like that. Bates she could almost understand... but John? She had truly believed that they'd been making progress since he had joined this expedition - that he trusted her leadership. Now it seemed that she had been wrong, and she couldn't believe how angry and betrayed it made her feel.
She put on a pleasant face as she passed through the control room and asked the men on duty how things were going. They looked confused at seeing her there so late, but gave her a quick report before she went on her way.
It was rather tempting to just head into her office and lose herself in paperwork, but she knew that wouldn't help her deal with what had happened that day. She needed to go somewhere she could think clearly without interruption. Her favourite place for that was the balcony overlooking the city and the ocean.
She hadn't been out there at night for a while, so it almost took her breath away when she stepped outside and saw how beautiful the city was in the starlight. She still couldn't get over how many stars there were in the night sky here. She had been so used to only seeing a handful through the smog and bright lights of the city all her life. This sea of stars was truly spectacular.
With a soft sigh, she leaned against the railing and stood gazing out at the ocean. Yes, this was perfect. The sound of the waves never failed to help clear her mind.
"Can't sleep?"
Elizabeth just about jumped out of her skin at the sudden voice, and whirled around to face the far corner of the balcony. She could only just make out a dark form huddled there on the floor, hidden by shadows. Her hand flew to her chest as she tried to calm herself down. "Rodney," she gasped. "You scared the hell out of me."
"Sorry," he said. "I just figured since you hadn't seen me, I, uh... should make my presence known somehow."
Elizabeth smiled. "Thank you. What are you doing out here so late?"
"Couldn't sleep."
She took a few steps towards him so she could see him better and leaned against the wall. "Got something on your mind, huh?"
He snorted. "Are you kidding me? I almost died today, Elizabeth. I swear my life passed before my eyes and everything. Watching those people die like that..." He shook his head. "You know what the weirdest part was?"
"What?"
"All I could think about was... other people."
He sounded so amazed by this that it was all Elizabeth could do to keep from laughing. She squatted down beside him and said, "I've told you before, Rodney, you're a better man than you think you are."
"Maybe," he said absently. He was silent for a long moment, but then he looked over at her and said in a soft voice, "I swear to God, if you'd been there I would have kissed you."
Elizabeth was stunned and somewhat thrilled by this statement, but she kept her cool. "Charming," she said. "And you would have given me the illness in the process."
Rodney rolled his eyes. "If you'd been there, you would already have been infected," he said in his usual matter-of-fact tone.
Elizabeth laughed and laid her hand on his arm. "I would have been honoured to fulfill your last request," she said, giving him a peck on the cheek. Then she rested her head against his shoulder and made herself comfortable. "So, was I one of the people you were thinking about, then?"
"Of course you were," he said, sounding slightly offended. "You, Atlantis as a whole... my sister..."
"I didn't know you had a sister."
"Yeah. She and I... well, we never really got along all that great. I miss her, though."
Elizabeth gave his arm a squeeze. "I'll bet she's missing you, too."
"I doubt it," Rodney muttered.
Elizabeth knew it wouldn't be wise to press the issue any further, so she sat there silent and still, listening to the ocean waves below them and watching the stars flickering above them. She hadn't felt so at peace in quite a while.
Before long, Rodney pulled his arm out from under her and wrapped it around her back, drawing her close against his side. She laid her hand on his chest and could feel his heart beating calm and steady, which just went to show her how relaxed he was.
It hit her then that they were doing it again - talking things through, comforting each other, just being there for each other. She didn't imagine that Rodney could have had much experience with this kind of thing before, but he seemed so comfortable and sure of himself around her. While she knew that she could never allow their relationship to escalate into something more, she hoped that in opening up to her like this, it would teach him how to act in future relationships and how to strengthen the ones he had now. It made her feel good to know that she was being such a good influence on him.
"He didn't do it just to defy your authority, you know."
Elizabeth blinked in confusion and craned her head back to look up at him. "What?"
"Major Sheppard. I couldn't help but notice how upset you were with him, but... he thought he was doing what was right."
"Well, that wasn't up to him to decide," Elizabeth said, her anger creeping into her tone despite her best efforts to prevent it.
"He has good instincts," Rodney persisted. "And in case you hadn't noticed, he's almost always right. It bugs the hell out of me, but there it is."
Elizabeth smiled. "I can't believe you're defending him like this."
Rodney sighed. "Neither can I," he said. "I just don't want you stressing yourself out over it. It's not something he's likely to do on a regular basis. He just... he thought he was doing the right thing."
"I know he did," Elizabeth said quietly. "Still, he shouldn't have defied me in front of everyone like that. If my leadership abilities are questioned..."
"They won't be," Rodney said, gently pulling her head away from him so he could look straight into her eyes. "Nobody doubts you. Well... except maybe Kavanaugh... but he's a bastard anyway."
Elizabeth laughed. "Rodney."
Rodney ran his fingers slowly through her hair and smiled. "I trust your leadership," he said. "I'd walk through fire if you asked me to."
Elizabeth reached her hand up to touch his face. "I might hold you to that one day," she said in a playful tone. "Thank you."
Rodney smiled as his eyes scanned her face from chin to forehead.
She knew what he was thinking, and she didn't try to dissuade him from it. She closed her eyes as he leaned towards her, and their lips met for a brief moment before she remembered her earlier resolve and pulled away. "I... I really have to get back to bed," she said.
"Want some company?" Rodney asked, kissing her jaw.
Boy, did she ever. "Not tonight," she said, pulling herself a little farther away from him. "I do appreciate the offer, though."
Rodney took the hint and backed away. "Right," he said, though he didn't really seem to understand her reasoning behind the refusal.
Elizabeth cupped his chin in her hand and forced him to look her in the eye again. "I'm very glad you're okay," she said, allowing her emotions to show through for just a moment.
His only reply was a sad smile.
Elizabeth rose to her feet then with a reluctance that she could feel in every limb. "Thank you for the chat and... for being there," she said.
"Ditto," he returned.
Elizabeth hated to leave him disappointed, but she knew that if she didn't get out of there pronto, she never would. "Goodnight, Rodney," she said, backing towards the door.
"Night," he said.
He sounded so sad and lonely that it just about broke her heart. Before she had a chance to think about it, she asked, "Join me for breakfast tomorrow?"
Rodney brightened up instantly. "That'd be great. I guess I'll see you then."
Elizabeth smiled, waved, and went back inside, leaving him alone with his thoughts and the starlight.
'Friends,' she thought to herself. 'We can just be friends.' She paused and allowed herself a tiny smile. 'For now.'