A/N: I hate these too so I'll try to make this one short and simple. Two things, 1) This came about for my amazing friend Taylor who is a dancer. That's about all she has in common with Shandie though. Anyways, I know it's sue-ish, but it was more for me and my friends than an audience. So, any kind of criticism is welcome. 2) From a lot of research I've done (mainly at the HP Lexicon) I've realized that Cedric was most likely in his 5th year when Harry was in his 3rd. Maybe it was only me who for the longest time believed Cedric was in his 7th year during the 4th book. But anyways, just so everyone is warned this story is slightly AU in the fact that Cedric will indeed be in his 7th year during the fourth book and hence is in his 6th year during this story as well as alreadyin a relationship with Cho. If you're not a fan of change, you'll please find that your back button might be utilized at this moment. Cheers everyone!
Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim to own anything associated with the Harry Potter franchise. All rights are reserved to J.K Rowling and Warner Bros.
Chapter One: Remember When It Rained
Crashing down, any chance you hear
Caving in, any chance that you could see inside of me
Everything you would change in me I'm taking a chance, this could be different This could be all I'm waiting for
This could be all I'm waiting for
'Different'- By Acceptance
November 28th found Hogwarts in a gray drizzle that had already started when Cedric woke up and was going strong even after lunch, as he made his aimless way down a sixth floor corridor. He'd been walking around like this all day, his mind foggier than the condensation growing on the castle windows.
Yesterday's quidditch match against Ravenclaw had been absolutely embarrassing. His team had been flattened and rather quickly at that. His friends offered nothing more than sympathetic glances where as Cho insisted she was too busy with schoolwork to listen to his quidditch woes. Easy for her to say…hers was the team which had flattened his own.
In all honesty his supposed girlfriend had been a frigid bitch lately. She shrunk away when he touched her, she barely kissed back when they shared a snog. All in all he was starting to wonder if her looks were becoming less than worth their weight.
Not that Cho wasn't a nice girl. He liked her fine. Their relationship just seemed so one sided where it really counted and Cedric needed more than that. He may have been a Huffelpuff who liked diplomacy and steered clear of drama, but that didn't mean drama didn't come looking for him. It liked to rear it's ugly head now and then, usually in the form of his father. Just that morning he'd received an owl from the old codger. It entailed that while Mr. Diggory was very proud of his son, his quidditch record was getting pitiful and that he'd need to step things up a bit with his team, be a proper captain. As if the young man hadn't beat himself up about it enough.
He and Oliver Wood had shared a few drinks the night previous, talking about life in general and the unfairness of it all as Gryffindor's obsessive quidditch captain perfected his manically scribbled plays. While Wood was a good sympathizer in the area of quidditch, all other matters of sensitivity were a bit out of his reach. No, Cedric was still finding himself wanton for a good friend to talk to. Some one he could selfishly count on to listen to him whine and bitch and tell him what he was doing right for a change instead of how he could improve. Or worse, fawning over him without any really thought toward what he wanted.
Not that Cedric didn't appreciate his fans…but they were just that: fans, not friends. The last thing he really needed was someone mindlessly purring 'Aww Ced, that's too bad.' all the while with little else on their mind but pouncing him.
Which might have explained why, when he found Shandie McAndrews, he had no hope of her being any good for him. He had actually been rather disappointed to find that behind the barely opened door from which some classical masterpiece he couldn't quite place in his mind was drifting there was little to be found but another girl.
Where had this room come from anyway? He'd never known there was anything even mildly resembling a dance studio at Hogwarts. It seemed old and in need of a good scrub down, but the windows were large and it came complete with mirrors, bars and a hard wood floor. Across that hard wood floor was a girl, dark hair tied up in a tight pony tail, tan skin glossy with sweat. The soft flats she wore made a gentle padded sound when they hit the ground repeatedly. A far cry from the school uniform Cedric was donned in, she wore black sweats and an equally dark camisole top.
But it wasn't her attire that made it impossible for Cedric to move his feet, no matter how little he felt like interacting with the female species. It was the way she was moving. Her body just kept twisting and rounding and moving, never stopping and seemingly never breathing. There was some kind of art to what she was doing.
It wasn't words…or pictures…it was sort of both. Like the sort of language best friends share, where no words need be exchanged but perfect understanding is shared. Almost like the music, which emanated from a grand piano in the corner opposite him which had apparently been enchanted to play on its own, was being translated into the arches of her arms, the gentle curve of her spine, the way she twirled on her toes and then leapt into another set of liquid looking steps.
There was something enchanting about watching her dance. Wondering what she would do next, invigorated by the extremities of what she was doing in that moment. He could feel a small rush of adrenaline building up in his veins just from observing her.
And then, as she was in the middle of a turn that ended with the young girl bending backwards, she caught sight of Cedric standing oddly out of place in the door way. Nearly loosing her balance, Shandie had been lucky for the railing just beside her as she grabbed a hold of it, scowling at the boy on the far side of the room as she lifted herself straight again.
"What are you doing here?" her tone didn't exactly suggest that she wanted to be friendly. While that was refreshing for Cedric it wasn't very inviting.
"I was just out walking and I, er, I heard music. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude."
"Well, staring is rude." she told him, her tone a bit softer and forgiving this time as she picked up her wand from the piano bench it was laying on and silenced the ivory keyed instrument.
"I didn't know Hogwarts had a dance studio." He invited himself in, marveling at the space around him as his steps brought him closer to this girl he had never met before. Funny that, she looked to be about his age. Thanks to her dance wear he had no way of knowing which house she was in either. From her snappy tone he might have guessed Slytherin.
"I'm sorry, do I know you?" she asked, still rather rudely as he admired the drapes by the floor to ceiling windows. Rain was still sloshing indignantly over the glass panes and the sky remained the same dark gray hue. Cedric turned to face her again, embarrassed at having forgotten his manners.
"I don't think we've met actually, I'm Diggory, er, that is, Cedric Diggory, of Huffelpuff." he corrected himself as a mild blush decorated his cheeks.
She cracked her first smile (albeit reluctantly) and extended a hand, "Shandie McAndrews, Ravenclaw."
"It's nice to meet you Shandie. Sorry if I bothered you earlier I was just watching you dance and it was, well, I've never really seen any one dance before. Like that I mean, ya know, something other than ballroom dancing."
"Did you like it?" she was surprised, most guys thought what she did was too flighty to be interesting.
"Yah, I really did." he admitted.
Her smile grew and she found herself turning and going for her water bottle to hide it.
"I've been dancing since I was four. Imagine my delight when I found out Hogwarts used to have a ballet club and this room was the carnage it left behind."
"What happened to the club?" Cedric had followed her to the left wall where her duffel bag was lying in a blue heap.
Shandie shrugged, taking another gulp of water, "Not enough interest I suppose. I'm pretty sure I'm the only girl who was avid enough to go to the deputy headmistress requesting a spare classroom to practice in and she showed me this place."
"Do you practice often?"
His question made Shandie quirk an eyebrow, "You're the captain of your quidditch team, right?"
"Sure am." he nodded proudly.
"And do you practice often?" her question was nearly a laugh.
Cedric bobbed his head in acknowledgement, a sheepish smile still playing on his mouth.
"Don't worry about it, people have asked me questions much more idiotic than that." she patted his shoulder, taking another swig of water, "So what had you wandering the halls on a day like this? Shouldn't you be cozying up by a fire place with your girlfriends?"
"Girlfriends," he gave her a playfully surprised look, "What makes that a plural noun all of a sudden?"
She shrugged, "Some one like yourself, good looking, popular, captain of his quidditch team. I dunno, that doesn't really say one-woman-man to me. I'd think you'd be playing it up, what with half of Hogwarts throwing themselves at you."
"No," he chuckled, "I think you've got me confused with Roger Davies, captain of your quidditch team."
"Oh," she smiled, "Guess I've never had the chance to be exposed to such a gentleman as yourself then." Shandie teased.
"That's right," Cedric played along, "You don't know Shan, I might even be single."
"You might even be gay with Oliver Wood." she laughed over her shoulder as she started throwing her things into her bag.
"Are you leaving?" It was then that Cedric realized perhaps he'd found the friend he'd been looking for. Why else would he be so reluctant to see her walk away from him?
"Well, I was going to go and study but if you've got something better to offer me…" she shrugged.
"A nice chat with a guy who honestly just wants to talk and not work his way into your pants." he said, hoping that if he laid his cards out on the table she'd be more apt to agree. Ever the Huffelpuff, Cedric liked to think that the truth was his best tool. And he was right. He'd impressed upon her his good intentions and a sweetness she couldn't just ignore. Besides, who was she to turn down a guy who needed a good chat?
"Okay." Shandie agreed, getting up from squatting beside her duffel to sit against the wall. He followed suit, taking his seat beside her.
"Thank you, I assure you it's much appreciated."
"Oh? And why is that?" she inquired.
Cedric gave a heavy sigh laden with the frustrations of the last 24 hours. "Didn't you see the quidditch game yesterday? Hufflepuff lost miserably."
"So you've been moping about it in the hallways?" she asked, very little sympathy strung in her tone.
"I haven't been moping…I've been thinking."
"About what? The things you should have done during yesterday's game? How perhaps you aren't a fit captain?" she sighed, "I've never liked quidditch much and I don't know much about it, but you run a fine team Cedric. Don't worry over it. You have to lose every now and then."
"It wouldn't be so bad except everything seems to come down on you at once. My father's already sent me a note about needing to work harder. I already do work hard, I run practices five times a week. Tell me that isn't proper dedication!"
"Five nights a week? You're a prefect too, aren't you?" she asked, noticing the small, shiny badge pinned to his uniform.
"Thank-you! That's what I've been trying to tell him. Do you know I barely got any sleep the night before the game because I had bloody duties! I was patrolling the halls until at least 11, after practice of course, and then I had homework!"
"You're going to kill yourself! And with all the stress you're laying on your shoulders from losin' that game…you need a good snog, is what you need. Can't imagine it would be too hard to get one with all those girls fancying a piece of you." She smirked.
"Yah…" he chuckled lightly at the irony. "That's another part of my problem. Those girls scare me sometimes. They bat their eyelashes and flash me smiles, but they don't know me. How can they possibly want anything to do with me if they haven't gotten to know me?"
"Because they're slags?" Shan took another sip of water.
"Must be. And then the only girl who even seemed worth my time doesn't seem to think I'm worthy of any of hers."
"Who's that?"
"My girlfriend, Cho." Cedric told her.
"Just the one then?" she smirked.
"Yes, just the one." He shook his head, smiling, "Though I'm not really sure if she counts since she won't have anything to do with me lately. I think she has eyes for her quidditch captain, Roger."
"Oh you mean Cho Chang, of Ravenclaw?"
"Is there another?" he asked.
"No," she half laughed at her stupidity, "I guess I just didn't put the two together. I didn't know you two were even dating." She shrugged.
"For a Ravenclaw you're not very nosy."
"Why do you say that?" she looked at him, surprised.
"Well all that knowledge seeking comes at a price: you're terrible gossips." He grinned.
"Actually now come to think of it, you're rather right about that one. My friends seem to spread rumors like wildfire over dry grass."
"Not you?"
She shrugged, "I don't mind a spot of gossip. Actually, I'll admit, I rather enjoy it. It's just that my mind is usually somewhere completely different."
"Your dancing?"
"Precisely. I might as well be in this room all day for the amount of time I spend on routines in my head."
The rain had let up some, though it was still happily hitting the windows and the sky itself had only grown darker. It was very quiet, save for the voices of the couple on the floor. The faint squares of light coming in through the glass window panes did little to illuminate the space around them and Cedric found himself using his wand to set a few candelabras alight. The warm glow complimented Shandie's tan hide and reflected a golden glare off of her dark hair.
"I wish I loved quidditch that much." A sigh left Cedric's mouth at his lack of passion.
"Why do you work so hard at it if you don't enjoy it?"
"It's not that I don't enjoy it. That makes it sound like a bad thing. It's just…it's not what I'm meant to do. I tried out because it sounded like fun and because it gave me something to do. A way to expel excess energy. And then somehow I got asked to be captain of the team, and of course I was thrilled. I mean what kind of guy turns that down?"
"A boy who doesn't realize how much responsibility and work that is, that's who." She gave him a wry smirk, downing another sip of water.
"Yah," he nodded thoughtfully, thinking back on his juvenile self, "I got myself into all kinds of trouble with that one. Though I still like playing quidditch. I'd be lying if I said I didn't. It's just not what I'm passionate about. I don't think I'll ever wake up thinking about quidditch and I doubt I'll ever start drawing up plays for fun, like Oliver does. It's just not my niche."
Shandie shrugged, "That's okay that you haven't found that yet. I mean at least you're not lying to yourself and trying to force yourself to love being quidditch captain."
"I guess." He shrugged, taking her words more to heart than he was willing to show. Cedric definitely appreciated that this girl understood where he was coming from and the fact that she was validating his feelings meant so much right then.
"You just need to chill out a little. You're a Hufflepuff, you're supposed to be laid back." She smiled.
"Oh I am! Most of the time. I'm just a hard worker is all. I always have been. I'm kind of a perfectionist like that."
"I've noticed." She said softly, still smiling. She had a cute smile, Cedric thought. "That's what sucks about being a golden boy; you're good at everything instead of spectacular at just one thing."
"You say that like you know what it's like."
"Eh, I've never been much of a perfectionist when it comes to anything but dance. I beat myself up about my dancing, but my schoolwork is another story."
"I thought you were a Ravenclaw." He teased her.
"I most certainly am. That doesn't make me obsessive about my studies. That makes me an avid and quick learner. I like soaking up information, it's doing the work that comes after that which kills me."
"What's your favorite class?" he asked.
"Transfiguration." She answered almost immediately. "It's hands on and energy consuming and a right challenge. It takes more focus than my dancing sometimes. That and we've used thimbles before."
Cedric quirked an eyebrow, giving her a questioning look. Her smile grew to a grin.
"I guess I didn't mention that I collect thimbles."
"No," he chuckled at her randomness, "No, I believe you left that out."
"I know, I know. It's a weird hobby."
"No! Well…okay, yah." He admitted awkwardly and they both laughed softly. "But at least it's interesting! Cho collects crystal swans." He had trouble not making a mildly repulsed face.
"That's nice." Shandie yawned. She hadn't meant to be rude, but she knew it sounded that way and Cedric smirked at her nonetheless. "I didn't mean it to sound as horrible as it did." She insisted, "Though I will say, that's the most boring thing I've ever heard of a girl collecting. Does it mean anything to her?"
"Umm, I'm not sure actually. Probably does and I've just forgotten."
"Well, don't you two sound in love." Shan rolled her eyes.
"Yah, most of the school expects us to be. It's kind of annoying actually, them acting like it's any of their business."
"Well you can't have even been dating for very long, can you?" she found herself wondering just how far behind the times she was.
"Only about a month, really. And we were only supposed to be dating, not quite going steady yet. But somehow Cho's friends convinced her I was madly in love with her and that she felt that way too. So, here we are."
"A month into the relationship and already the magic's fading." Shandie sighed wistfully, laying a heavy hand over her heart as though it were dramatically painful. Cedric chuckled, looking down at his lap and fiddling with his hands. "Was there ever even any magic to begin with?"
Her question caught him off guard and he had to think for a few moments before he spoke, choosing his words carefully. Finally he nodded, albeit silently at first.
"She's soft and bright and just so…I don't even know what to call it. She reminds me of my mother's pearls."
"And hey, only real pearls have grit, right?"
Cedric rolled his eyes, "She's really not as bad as I've made her sound. She's just…amazingly insensitive at times."
"You'd think most guys would dig that. After all, the male species does have a reputation for being under sensitive."
"Yah well, guys like getting attention too. And I don't think I'm half as bad as she is. Cho's extremely and exclusively sensitive about her feelings. She can be like a human faucet when something sentimental happens or when she's under stress. Which I don't mind so much. It makes me feel worth something to help her through those times. But she could do nicely to return the favor every now and then."
"I completely agree with you." she nodded, "There's a balance that comes with being cared for. Just like there's a responsibility that comes with being quidditch captain."
"Exactly! I wish she'd see it that way. I'm not even sure she notices half the time, though."
"Are you a romantic?" Shan's smile was very small but rather provocative at the same time as she inquired him with her words and her eyes alike.
Cedric blushed. His friends liked to give him a hard time about how sensitive he could be.
"Well, occasionally yeah." he admitted begrudgingly.
"I knew it." her smile grew intensely but her tone remained soft, "You seem like the type. I've never heard a guy talk about how insensitive his girlfriend's being. Maybe oversensitive but…" her eyes grew wide when she realized he had sighed and was frowning at the wall opposite them. "No, no! It's not a bad thing at all. It's really sweet actually…but ya know, in a macho way."
Cedric turned to look at her with his eyebrow cocked. "Nice save." He murmured.
She flashed him an apologetic smile. "I really didn't mean it in a bad way."
"I know you didn't, it's just that it's kind of the running joke among my friends that I'm soft. It kinda makes you grit your teeth after a while."
"Ya know what; I think they're just jealous. Girls love it when a guy is sensitive. I bet your friends only wish they were too."
"That's part of my problem with all the girls around school. I just can't get physical with a girl if there's no emotional foundation first, which kills my friends by the way. They think I'm a git."
"I think you just don't want to see anyone get hurt, including yourself. And there's nothing wrong with that."
"It can be frustrating as hell though." He smirked.
"I'll bet. I actually sort of get what you're saying, though. That's why I haven't had a boyfriend since second year, and trust me, that was a pathetic mess." Shandie rolled her eyes, taking another swig from the water bottle that Cedric had forgotten she had by then.
"What happened?" he asked. Shan, who had been slumped back against the wall, sat up straighter now, folding her legs in to sit Indian style.
"Well, it all happened too fast first of all. Blake and I were actually best friends after having just met two months previous and when we went to Hogsmeade that Christmas he kissed me in Madame Rosmerta's out of no where. Our friends had gotten up to go check out something Hagrid had brought in and was showing off near the bar, and I swear the second we were alone he just leaned over and kissed me." She shrugged and looked down at her water bottle. It was enchanted never to loose its chill nor ever to empty so she still had plenty.
"And…?" he pushed the matter when she grew silent in the middle of her tale.
"And I was stupid and kissed him back. Well, as best as I could. I'd never been kissed before, so it was kind of awkward, I mean we were only 12."
Cedric's face contorted to very mild disgust mixed with understanding. As he nodded,
Shan couldn't help but get caught up in the way the warm glow of the candle light seemed to shimmer like lightning in his stormy, gray eyes. And she wondered for a moment if this is how Blake had felt when he had wanted to kiss her all those years ago. Because if it was, she certainly couldn't blame him.
"Well how old were you when you got your first kiss?" she interrogated, playfully annoyed by his reaction at the thought of 12 year olds kissing.
"Nine and a half." He chuckled.
"Heh, figures." She giggled, taking another sip of water. She only sipped like this when she was nervous. Was she nervous? Or possibly just excited?
"Yah, I was playing with this girl Amelia, we used to go out onto the hills surrounding the lake behind her house and just run around for hours. And one afternoon she tripped and fell on top of me as she started tumbling down the side of this hill. We were screaming and laughing at the same time, just somersaulting down this hill, getting scraped and dirty. And we finally stopped beside each other. And I just remember laying there, staring up at the clouds and feeling the sunshine on my face and breathing hard and then she just leaned over me and smiled and pecked me on the lips."
Shandie couldn't get over how he was smiling uncontrollably at the memory. It was cute and endearing and sweet and she wondered if he'd ever think of her some day and smile like that. Probably not, she reasoned with herself. But somehow she really wanted it to be so.
"What happened to her?" she asked, wondering if there was some adorable, cutesy love story to follow. The smile on Cedric's lips hardened and he looked down at his hands.
"Her dad died when she was 10. Her and her mom moved away to live closer to her grandmother. I haven't seen her since." His shoulders giving up a sad, depressing shrug.
"Cedric…" Shandie looked over at him, a heart broken look shadowing her features, "I'm so sorry." She breathed, leaning over and wrapping her arms around his neck. He hugged her back and she swallowed at the warm touch of his fingers as they slid around her waist.
"Thanks." He forced a tight lipped smile as they separated.
"Was she a witch? Was she supposed to have come to Hogwarts?"
"No, no, just a muggle. Though her mother was a witch, that's how our families knew one another. Her father was a muggle as well, which is probably why she turned out a squib. Wonderful girl though, always smiling and mischievous. I followed her everywhere, she was always a leader."
Shan took a deep breath and struggled with the words she said next, "Did you love her?"
"I still do." He answered quietly, solemnly. "I know it's silly. To keep holding on to her."-
"No! She must have been nearly like your sister."
He nodded at this, "And it's not like I angst about it. I just hope she's alright, and I never properly filled that place I had for her in my heart, I guess you could say…"
Shan nodded. "Did they stay long enough for the funeral?"
"Yah, though it was rather awkward. It was mostly family there and we were the only children. She wouldn't even look at me and she barely spoke a word. She seemed like a bottle of emotion all stopped up, holding it in. That's why I just pray she turned out all right."
There wasn't much Shandie could say and it took her a few moments to come up with a response, "I'm sure she's happy. Maybe the move even helped her, you know make a fresh start. Leave all the hurt behind."
Cedric nodded, "I hope so."
"And maybe it's for the best that she left. I mean, if she'd stayed she might have stopped wanting to go outside and play for a few months. I know I would have. And that would have been wretched for you to watch."
Again, he nodded. The sky had grown ever darker and he wondered what time it was. It felt like night already though he knew it couldn't be. Hadn't he only come in here a little while before? A few moments of silence passed between them. Shandie could think of no words to say and Cedric hadn't bothered to try to think of any. Until finally he remembered something he'd wanted to ask about.
"So what happened to you and Blake?"
Shandie couldn't help but roll her eyes again, "That stupid ass!" she sighed heavily, shaking her head, "He would bounce back and forth between stoic as hell and hornier than a rhinoceros. It got so aggravating. I seriously wonder if he wasn't bipolar. Like one minute he'd be trying to get me to snog him while I was trying to study and then like an hour later when I was done with my homework he'd want to do something purely idiotic like read together."
Cedric burst out laughing. "Are you-are you serious?" he asked between breaths.
"Completely and utterly. Oh, it was so sad." Though she couldn't stop the spreading grin on her face when he laughed.
"Shandie…" he laughed again, "He wanted to read with you?"
"Yah! I know! And not even like poetry or anything romantic like that. Just reading! Once he even pulled out his History text book! I was like…did you need some help with Professor Binns' class?"
Her company chuckled the last bit of humor from his system, calming down shortly.
"And that's the only relationship you've been in?" he asked after a few moments, a gentle smirk playing on his lips.
"Sad, isn't it? But it's no one's fault but my own. I don't think I let anyone notice me. I throw myself as deep into my dancing as possible and sort of shut the rest of the world out." she shrugged, her voice growing quiet.
"I noticed you." his eyes on her felt different suddenly, more intense, "And I'm really glad I did."
The side of Shandie's mouth picked up in a one-sided smile. "You're the first in a long while, I'll tell ya."
Beyond the door they could hear a small pack of young, female students laughing as they dashed down the corridor. It caught the pair off guard and reminded them that they weren't alone in Hogwarts Castle.
"I should be heading back, it's getting really dark. My friend's will be looking for me."
"Along with Cho." The reminder stung them both as she'd mumbled it and stood, dusting off her sweats.
"I can't tell you how much your time meant to me. I really needed someone to talk to." he told her earnestly as he dusted his own trousers off.
"Save it golden boy." she smirked, "I had a good time too."
"So, I'll see you around?" he looked hopeful as he backed away towards the door.
"Yah," she sighed, forcing herself to nod. In her heart she knew she would never see this boy again and that it was senseless to dwell on it, hope for it.
"Alright, well…have a good night." he murmured in her ear as he caught her off guard with a farewell hug. She barely had time to wrap her own arms around him by the time she realized what was happening.
"You too." she replied breathlessly as he pulled back and with barely a glance back over his shoulder, began walking off down the hallway. Shandie turned to get her things together, trying so hard to forget the way he smelled like butterscotch.
"Oh, hey Shandie?" when she lifted her head from pulling out her uniform so she could change in the bathroom just down the hall, he was back in the doorway looking mildly embarrassed. "How often do you come around here?"
"I try to come most every afternoon, why?"
"Just don't be surprised if I stop by again soon." he gave her a last warm smile before strolling off with his hands in his pockets.