Disclaimer: We don't own LOTR…cries

MUST READ! Just to explain a few things: Every two thousand human years equals one Elvin year, so Legolas is 10 000 (five.) This isn't to be taken seriously; I think you'll get that idea pretty quickly. This story is the first in a series about Legolas when he's young done by us (Spook's apprentice and Vampire Snail). This story is separated into two (Very short.) parts.

Legolas visits the dentist Part one.

The 26th of May. The day that Legolas had dreaded since his mum made the appointment. Dentist Day! Legolas was trying every kind of strategy to stop from going there. He locked himself in the bathroom… but failed to get out for dinner so some of the palace guards had to knock the door down. He tried burying himself but sadly he dug a hole in the gardens so the gardeners managed to catch him before he managed to bury himself. You see he hadn't brushed his teeth in 200 years. The dentist, Vallinus, had haunted him for years upon years of years. But it seemed like there was no escape now… his mum, Eradora, would be there soon to take him to the dentist. He was too scared to leave his room.

His hair was grey and lank, with only a few strands left of it at the back of his head. His teeth were now putrid rotten black stumps and whenever he breathed his teeth let off a ghastly stench that could be smelt from the other end of the room.

His mother stormed into the room with a gallon of mouthwash and a gas mask on. Legolas shied under his fairy pattered doona. Eradora dragged him out of the bed as Legolas pulled his lacy pink shawl over his head, hoping that if he couldn't see his mum she wouldn't see him. But his attempts were to no avail. Eradora ruthlessly ripped off the shawl and carefully undoing the lid on the bottle of mouthwash she shoved it in Legolas's mouth. He screamed out in terror and tried spitting it back into the bottle but Eradora held his nose so he had to swallow it.

Gasping for breath, Legolas pitched forward coughing. His mother was spraying deodorant (in Moria Musk) around the room to reduce the smell, making Legolas cough even more. He grabbed the lacy pink shawl and it for emotional support. He also got his best friend, Foppsy his stuffed bunny rabbit and started sucking his thumb with a pout on his face. At least his filthy thumb still tasted the same.

MMMmmmm…. He felt safe and secure with his 'friends' until Eradora grabbed his remaining hair and dragged off to the stables. But before they set off on their journey Eradora filled a big barrel with water and started washing Legolas with a scourer. She managed to mangle the shawl Legolas had with him making him burst into tears. She put the shawl in a nearby shredder since it was of no use now. Then she pulled Legolas out and standing him in front of a massive hair dryer and turned it on to full blast, then came in the whole hair manicure thing. She dyed his hair blonde then booffed it up so people couldn't see his baldness. Then she gave him some false teeth to wear so his black stumps were well covered. Afterwards she made him bathe in moisturizer to make his skin soft and beautiful. Then she took off his clothes and renewed his outfit with tight fitting green tights and a grey/green tunic with a wide metallic belt (very cool!). Legolas couldn't bear the thought of going ANYWHERE near the dentist without a comfort item, so he put on his lucky fluffy pink bedsocks (he wears them under his boots all the time.) and put Foppsy under his arm. As he rode on the pony Vallinus' Surgery Legolas muttered reassurances to Foppsy.

"It's going to be alwight Fopps, we'll be fine." He said nervously while biting his fingernails.

They soon arrived at the dental surgery. A small moat surrounded it a there was a bridge crossing to the building.

Legolas, sill clutching Foppsy, let John, his pony, loose as a diversion, it was escape time! His mother chased John and Legolas started to look for a place to hide. He didn't want to go into the pond since he couldn't swim. There was a low hedge but Legolas didn't want to wreck his newly booffed hair. And there was a muddy ditch not to far away but he didn't want to go in there either since he hadn't been this clean in 39 years, 2 months and 6 days. That just left him with one choice: the feeding trough which he quickly dived into.

The trough was filled with grains and fresh grass, Legolas found some of the grains were supremely itchy… but the dentist was worse. He started to cover himself with the fodder. Suddenly, Bev, his mum's horse, plodded over for a feed.

Mmmmm… yummy food is just what I need, thought Bev.

Bev was slowly munching down towards Legolas, who was desperately hoping she only wanted a short snack. He didn't want to be stuck there forever, Bev had a reputation for eating everything and Legolas didn't want Bev to try his lovely new clothes, or even worse… his gorgeous new hair. He needed to work out something to do and quick. He thought through the situation (which was very hard). He only had two options.

1. Stay there and possibly get eaten by Bev, who come to think of it, would probably eat him too if she was really hungry.

Or

2. Get out swiftly and face mum and the dentist…

Will it be death by munching or Dentist?

Maybe the dentist could, just maybe, be better then death…

Please review, even if you didn't like it we'd love to hear your point of view on our story, writing etc. Also an interesting note (we thought it was quite funny) Spook's apprentice called the horse and pony John and Bev and after we finished the story she realized she named them after her teacher and her teacher's husband:)

Have a good new year! Spook's Apprentice and Vampire Snail