Five Years

by yutamiyu

Five years pass in the Macross 7 world...

Five Years: a Macross 7 fanfic
By yutamiyu


DISCLAIMER: They'reeee not miiiiine.



Five years pass in the Macross 7 world...



Fire Bomber broke up when I was sixteen.

It wasn't anything hostile--the band got along quite well, actually, by the end. People just stopped listening. Stopped caring. They no longer felt any sort of message from Basara's music, even though he tried his hardest. He just lost some sort of spark at the end of the war, and that spark was essential to people being moved by his song.

Of course, knowing Basara, he took the news quite harshly. He quit Fire Bomber on the spot. And without Basara, there was no Fire Bomber. It truly was his band. He was the heart; he was the soul.

He was my soul.

My heart knew no other man than Basara Nekki.

Soon after the band's break up, Basara simply left the city. No one--not even Ray--knew where he went. All three former band members had gone to cheer him up, and found him gone. His Valkyrie no longer stood guard outside his window, and his guitar was gone. Some clothing had been hastily plucked from the drawers, and some had fallen onto the floor, marking his path to a closet, where he had taken a bag to stuff everything in.

Gone. Without a word. With barely a trace.

After that, I slowly lost touch of Ray and Veffidas. I grew up. It happens to young girls; we grow, we change, we go our separate ways. Many childhood friends are lost that way. I left the city and headed off on my own in my pink Valkyrie, compliments of Sound Force officials. When the battle was over, they let me keep it in exchange for all my hard work. Ray and Veffidas still have the one that they shared, as well.

Mom was against it completely. She thought that I was still a young child of fourteen. More than that, she thought that she was losing control, and I knew better than anyone how much she hated being out of control. I had held her hand tightly and informed her that I was no longer a child, that I had to strike out on my own and live my life the way I needed to be. Dad helped me to convince her.

When I was seventeen, Mom and Dad got back together. Perhaps they finally realized what they really meant to each other. Or perhaps they were just scared of living out their aging years alone and forgotten. Either way, I had always known that they had both really loved each other deep down, but were scared to finally come out and admit that they had made a mistake by splitting up. They were always so stubborn.

I was stubborn, once, but I grew. I still am stubborn--I got it from both my parents, after all--but no longer in the childish way I once was. When I look back on my years, Fire Bomber was both the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me. I wasn't allowed to live my life as a "normal" teenaged girl, but I also got to meet some of the greatest influences in my life. Fire Bomber helped me to grow. Ray always offered me words of advice, Veffidas offered me silent support, and Basara...Basara was just there. He kicked me when I needed to be kicked, and made me smile when I needed to smile.

He was heaven and hell wrapped into one tight package.

And he simply packed up and left without a word.

Sometime that year I decided that pining over him was not the best route to take. From then on, I decided, I was going to forget that there was ever a Basara Nekki, or that I had ever known him. I rid myself of my former life--the Fire Bomber idol--and packed every poster and CD depicting the band that I had ever purchased, or received, and shoved them into a large box. I strapped my guitar onto my back and headed outside.

Mom was standing there at the door, telling me that we needed to have a mother-daughter talk; that it had been too long since our last one. She instantly looked down at the box and asked me what I had been planning on doing with it, and I told her. Ridding myself of all memories of Basara Nekki, and of my association with Fire Bomber.

Mom instantly shoved them into the arms of the assistant who is always following her around and told him to take them to her place; that she would keep them for me. I reluctantly agreed, and handed him my guitar.

Farewell, Mylene the child star.

Mom sat down and I served her a cup of coffee. Black, with just a little bit of cream. That's the way she liked it. For nearly eighteen years it hadn't changed a bit.

Mom smiled lightly at me with a twinkle in her eye. "You're the reason I started drinking coffee this way, Mylene," she informed me. "After your birth, it was all I wanted to drink."

I sat down in the chair opposite her. "Mom, why are you here?"

My mother put down her coffee cup. "Mylene," she said, "you're leaving soon, and I wanted you to know that I am going to miss you. But I do believe that this is the right thing for you to do; that you're much too old to waste time in this overly congested city. Make your way to another ship or planet...and be happy." She took a sip of the coffee in front of her. "But...don't forget your old life entirely. Remember the joys you had as a member of Fire Bomber. Remember the friends you made over the years. Don't take with you memories of war and sorrow; take ones of joy and laughter. Your father and I made that same mistake. We were both too preoccupied with how we had done each other wrong that we forgot our love for each other." She smiled. "Just don't forget your family."

"I won't, Mom. I promise." I rose to my feet and she rose to hers, and I embraced her. After seventeen years, she had finally given me permission to make my own decisions, and to truly live on my own without constant surveillance.

We sat and reminisced on old times. I was extremely careful not to mention the band or Basara. I no longer wanted to associate myself with them, and that included to friends and family members. We talked about my engagement to Gamlin, and my mother talked about how she hoped that she would live to see a wedding between us. I assured her that she wouldn't die before she got to see my wedding.

I just didn't tell her whom it was that I was going to marry.

I left several months later, just after I turned eighteen. I took my pink Valkyrie and blasted off into space, headed east of the Macross 7 fleet. I could have simply moved to another ship in the fleet, but I knew that I would have felt tied down in a way that I could have probably never completely understood.

Is that how Basara felt?

I shook my head. I refused to think of him. Basara Nekki was no longer a figure in my life as much as I was no longer a figure in his. All that remained for me now was to find a proper planet to live the rest of my life out on, away from the congested city and bittersweet memories.

I flew into the stars and let the darkness of space absorb me. My course was set for an unidentified planet that contained life forms; hopefully I would find what I was searching for on it.

If only I knew what it was I was searching for.

After hours upon hours of flight I landed on what I soon called the "Second Earth". This was the planet that the Macross 7 fleet had been searching for. It was directly under their noses and they had overlooked it. After all, what good would a planet whose life forms had died out entirely long ago be to a ship that populated in excess of one million people?

The planet had revived itself, as somehow I knew it always would. The extinction of one species will cause another to thrive. That is how it always works.

I jumped out of my Valkyrie and ran over to a nearby brook. I tested the water with my hand, then ventured to drink some. When I was sure that it was safe, I removed my shoes and stuck my feet in them, delighting in the feel of fresh, serene water running over and in between my toes.

I reached into my bag next to me, searching for my stash of food. What fell out was not my meal, but my photo album. I picked it up, forgetting about the food for the time being, and began to flip through it tenderly.

Several pictures of my family and me. The most recent one was of my mother and father, together, with me in front of them. Never again would I come in between my parents; I no longer wished to be the conveyer of messages to two lonely souls who wouldn't admit that what they had once had was something magical.

I turned another page.

Fire Bomber.

Even at such a distance away from City 7 I could not rid myself completely of the memories.

Fire Bomber at my fifteenth birthday party. I looked so happy back then. My eyes were those of a small child who had found someone to rely on completely; someone on whom I could throw my entire faith at a moment's notice and not worry about what the outcome would be.

Fire Bomber at a concert. Someone had taken a picture from the crowd and had later given me a copy. I looked at the roaring crowd the photographer had captured, and noticed a small girl carrying a bouquet of flowers, wearing a sun dress and hat. I think that girl had been at every one of our concerts. I wondered if she ever gave those flowers to whomever they were intended for.

Basara and his Valkyrie. That big, shiny, red eyesore that always stood right outside his apartment. I didn't remember why I shot this picture, but Basara sure didn't like it. His face was drawn in an expression of annoyed surprise, as he held a wrench in his hand. I guessed he was fixing it.

Basara.

The next page contained a picture of Fire Bomber, just casually. No bright lights, no screaming fans, just us. Veffidas clutched her drumsticks, as ever, while beside her Ray gave a casual grin. I, the young child with the bright pink hair in front of the two, blew a kiss at the camera and winked. And beside me was Basara, his arms crossed in front of him and just staring at the camera. No emotion, no passion. Just being.

I used to have this picture framed on my bedside table, next to the picture of my family and me. It was the last thing I threw into the box that my mother was storing in her house.

My throat began to become tight as I thought back on my days as a band idol.

The big important memories were easy to block out. It was getting less and less difficult, day by day, to forget the concerts, the fans, the music. But I couldn't rid myself of all the memories. Not of the small, bittersweet ones that went straight to my heart and make a home.

//I stood next to Basara, dressed in a kimono that Gamlin had informed me was supposed to ease a person's heart. My hair was drawn up in an elegant bun. I only wore my hair up for special occasions. I argued with him about the recording session, and he told me that he would give it one more try. We stared at the stars together, before I finally heard a quiet, "It suits you. The kimono."//

//I dropped into the red Valkyrie, and grabbed the controls. "You can't fly home with that arm, can you?" I asked him rhetorically. I fiddled around with the guitar set-up he had installed in the machine and took to the air, heading home. I sang my song.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Don't YOU sing when you feel like it?" I replied.

I continued to sing, and was soon joined by his soft, soothing voice. I had never heard him sing my song before--we sounded nice together.//

//I woke up in his arms to his relieved smile. "You're all right now," he said to me, softly, tenderly. I snuggled into him and fell back asleep to the rhythm of his relaxed heartbeat.//

My reserve began to crumble and I felt beads of tears slowly drip down my face.

I was completely independent...and had never been so lonely.

I soon heard whistling in the distance and realized that I was not alone on this planet. That there was someone else inhabiting this green, cool paradise besides me. I jerked my head up in alarm, and saw a man run over the hill. He looked several years older than me, with jet black hair. He stopped, looked at me, and slowly made his way to my direction.

"Hello," he called from a distance.

I stood up. "Hello," I called back, welcoming a new face and new company.

He walked towards me again. "Where are you from?"

"City 7," I replied, closing the distance between us.

"You came from City 7? That's pretty far away from here."

"Where am I?"

"You're on the planet Daiyaku."

"Daiyaku?"

He nodded. "My name is Uragiri."

I smiled, and extended my hand to meet his. "I'm Mylene. It's nice to meet you."

Maybe life on another planet and forgetting City 7 wouldn't be as hard as I had originally thought. With this man, I rationed, with Uragiri...it would be easy to forget. I could fall in love with some other guy and forget Basara.

No more heartache. No more worry. No strife, no tears, no pain. Just happiness, and love.

I picked up my belongings and followed him in the direction of his nearby farm house, confident that my Valkyrie would be all right sitting by the brook alone.

"How many people live on this planet?" I asked him, as we made our way up a long hill.

"Not very many," Uragiri replied. "I was surprised that I found you. People are just beginning to settle here again. The word is slowly getting out that there are habitable planets once again." He sighed. "I'll be sad to see all the greenery go. We don't need towering buildings and smog-filled skies."

We reached the top of the hill and turned to look at the breathtaking scenery that lay before us. The brook I had been sitting at seemed to stretch for miles and miles in both directions, and I saw an animal drinking from one of its sides down a ways.

I could learn to live here, I convinced myself.

Uragiri could help me.

I took his hand in mine, and turned to smile at him reassuringly. "I'm sure that people have learned from their mistakes. There will be no skyscrapers on this planet."

His eyes met mine and I became uncomfortable with what I saw in them. I couldn't figure out what it was that shone in his dark black eyes, but I was certain that it wasn't entirely good.

Soon after we arrived at his house, he began to ask me questions about my former life in City 7, and I told him. I left out Fire Bomber, and Gamlin. I made up a story on the spot, about being just an ordinary teenaged girl who felt like striking out on her own. He believed every word of it.

After he had fed me, he inquired about my Valkyrie. I explained to him that it was a gift from my mother--not the mayor, but the ace pilot--and never revealed to him the secret speakers it contained in the breastplate. There are some aspects of my life that I swore I would no longer tell anyone who inquired; my association with Fire Bomber being the most prominent.

It was when he felt my breasts that I began to feel that I had made a mistake in trusting him. I had been tidying dishes up in his kitchen--the least I could do, I figured, since he fed me and gave me shelter--when he walked up behind me and groped at my chest. I cried out in shock, in denial. I did not want what he was giving me.

"Shut up," he snarled, and forced his lips onto mine. When he finally raised his head back up, gasping for breath, he gave me a grin that made me sick to my stomach. "We're going to have a little fun now," he rasped, and I realized what it was in his eyes that I had seen earlier as well as now--desire.

He shoved me to the ground and began groping me once again, while I struggled under him in an attempt to escape. He easily held my wrists together tightly with one hand and raised them above my head, not breaking contact with my chest.

"You can make this easy or difficult for yourself," he told me. "It's your choice. If you struggle, I will kill you. If you scream, I will kill you. If you are passive, I will let you go." He chuckled, and roughly kneaded my breast again, and it hurt. And I resisted the urge to cry out to whoever would listen to me, and simply let the tears build in my eyes. "Have you made your decision?"

I was silent. I turned my head in a vain attempt to block out what he was doing to me. I squeezed my eyes shut. I could at least block it from my vision.

Uragiri let go of my hands and I left them above my head, afraid that if I brought them to my sides, I would react out of instinct and cause my unwilling death. I closed my eyes and tried not to tremble as I felt him remove the barriers guarding his sex and mine.

When he was spent, he got up and dressed as though nothing had happened. I painfully sat up and drew my clothes to my battered form, uselessly trying to hide my naked body from his sight. He looked at me and chuckled again. That laugh would forever plague my nightmares.

"Get dressed, you whore," he spat at me. "Get out of my house and out of my sight." His scowl turned into a lecherous grin. "Unless you want me to take you for another ride." He walked towards the door. "You had better not be here when I get back." With that, he left.

I had become impure. Tainted. My heart and soul had shattered and I had become depression's willing slave. I slowly pulled my clothes on, motivation and spirit having since abandoned me. I could smell sex all around me, and I saw a small pool of blood staining the ground where he shattered me. I made my way to my feet, my legs unwilling to obey simple commands, and the area between my thighs aching from unused muscles being exerted.

I picked up my belongings and headed for the brook, to my Valkyrie. I stumbled over rocks and branches cut at my skin and I did not care. I was a soulless husk who had lost her will to survive. When I finally reached the brook, something inside me snapped and I tore off my clothes and threw myself into the water. I scrubbed myself so harshly with my nails that my skin began to turn red and I desired the pain. I wanted to feel something besides defeat, besides desperation.

When I finally emerged from the water I still felt incredibly dirty, but I ceased my bath in fear that Uragiri would find me and ravage me again. I got out of the water, and quickly dressed myself, not wanting to show off my nudity more than absolutely necessary.

Daiyaku still held much beauty for me, but I knew in my heart that I couldn't stay. Not with the horrid memories of what that odious man had done to me. I opened up my Valkyrie and threw my bag in, then climbed into the pilot seat and took off, taking one last look at the serene brook under me, before shooting off into space.

I could not go home. I knew that much. I didn't know how to face my parents after what had happened to me. But where could I go? I set my navigational radar to find a nearby planet, only this planet needed to be a confirmed settlement. I soon found one, and set course.

It was en route to that planet, in the dark, lonely solitude of space that I found myself unable to cry over my situation. I had just undergone severe emotional damage, and yet my tears refused to form and fall and get out of my system, taking my troubles with them.

When I finally landed on the planet Kanashimi, I cruised around inside my Valkyrie until I came across civilization. Not just one solitary house with nothing but land surrounding as far as the eye could see, but several houses and business places--a medium-sized settlement. I touched down just outside of it and walked into the town.

"Hey, wow!" I heard a voice call. I turned around and there was a woman--about my age--admiring my Valkyrie. She turned towards me, her kind eyes glistening with excitement. "Is that your Valkyrie?"

I nodded. "You know what it is?"

"Oh, you bet I do!" she cried. "I haven't ever seen one in person before, but...wow!" She smiled at me, and I instantly felt more at ease. I had finally found a friendly face; someone whom I felt I could trust.

I was still wary, of course, considering that I had been fooled by appearances before.

"What's your name?" I asked her.

"Shizumeru. I own that bar over there," she said, pointing to the building with an old-fashioned wooden sign reading Hagemasu Tavern. "Would you like a drink?" she asked.

I smiled at her and nodded. "That would be nice," I said softly.

"Come on!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the bar. Her level of energy and passion of spirit reminded me of myself during my days in Fire Bomber.

Stop it, Mylene. Don't think about Fire Bomber.

I allowed myself to be dragged into the tavern, where Shizumeru instantly took her place behind the bar and smiled. "Welcome to our tavern!" she exclaimed, bowing, going through the standard customer ritual. She wiped a place at the bar and indicated the stool in front of it. "Please sit."

I smiled, giggling a bit at the mock severity she has shown me. And for that brief moment, I had once again become the young child I once was, all thoughts of my deflowering gone from my head, as though it had never happened.

I sat at the bar, and she presented the wall of various liquors and alcoholic beverages with great flourish. "Here's your choice; pick your poison."

I had never been a heavy drinker. I didn't even recall ever having had a drink, except for a small glass of champagne at my mother and father's remarriage. And that was merely Mom, Dad, and me. A small family party. I pointed to one of the bottles I had seen in my mother's house and hoped that I wouldn't lose what little I had eaten recently.

"It shall be so," Shizumeru said in mock seriousness, and made a large show in pouring the drink, twisting the bottle several times and pouring above the rim of the glass, cutting off the flow so quickly as to not spill a drop.

When she finished she pushed the glass in front of me. "Drink up," she said eagerly.

I sniffed at the concoction in front of me and it was foul. I could not believe any sane person would actually drink this voluntarily. I took a small sip and felt my stomach begin to churn.

I put the glass down and focused my attentions on Shizumeru. "Why is the bar empty?" I asked.

"It doesn't open for a couple more hours."

"I'm afraid I don't have any money for this drink," I said sheepishly. I had planned on receiving money from my mother once I settled on another planet. "I can most certainly work it off. I can wash dishes, or wait on tables, or..."

What, Mylene? Sing? Weren't you going to forget that phase in your life?

"Would you like for me to work it off?" I asked.

"Nah." Shizumeru winked at me. "Consider it an even trade for getting to see your Valkyrie."

I paused in consideration. "Why didn't you ask me my name in return for yours?" I finally asked.

Shizumeru started drying glasses with a cloth towel. "I don't press anyone for information they don't want to give me. Especially people who are new in town, and look as lost and lonesome as you do."

I nodded. "You're right-I am new in this town. Just today, in fact."

Shizumeru gave me a large grin. "I know. I saw you land."

I idly swirled the liquid in the glass in front of me, and Shizumeru fiddled around behind the counter; I didn't pay attention. "...My name's Mylene," I finally said.

Shizumeru smiled. "I know."

I put down the glass. "How did you know?"

"You're Mylene Jenius. You're a member of Fire Bomber. Or, at least, you were. I know who you are."

"You're a fan, then," I said in dismay. Even way out past City 7 I can't escape my old life.

"Not really," Shizumeru replied. "I've never heard your music, or seen you in concert. But there was a guy here along with another girl, and he had pictures of the band. He told me who each of the members were, and about your Valkyries. I saw a picture of a Valkyrie that was identical to yours."

My eyes widened. Had Basara been here previously? And with another woman?

"What did this man look like?" I asked. "Did he have spiky brown hair and peripherals?"

She shook her head. "He was an older man--I'd say around thirty or so. He had a black mustache and short black hair that he wore in a headband with an attachment dangling off of it. He was heavily set, and strong." She squinted her eyes in remembrance. "I think his name was Ray."

Ray had been on Kanashimi?

"And the woman?" I inquired. "Was she tall with green hair and...well...a large chest?" My hands pantomimed the anatomy of which I spoke.

Shizumeru smiled at me and laughed. "That's the one."

Ray and Veffidas were traveling together, despite the break up of Fire Bomber. It somehow didn't altogether surprise me: they stuck together when our band was struggling, they stuck together when our band succeeded, they stuck together when our band had suffered losses, and now they stuck together when the band had broken up.

I force another drink of the retched concoction in front of me down my throat in an attempt to clear the knot that was rapidly forming there. Shizumeru simply watched me, grinning, as if she knew something that I didn't.

She turned her back to fiddle with some of the bottles on the back wall. "It must be hard to lose such dear friends," she said. "People you love...it's never easy."

"Excuse me?"

She turned back around and narrowed her eyes at me in disbelief, as if the answer was so obvious that it was impossible to overlook. "What I'm saying," she said, "is don't give up on your friends. Go back and see those two. I'm sure that you won't regret it. You'll feel much better about yourself, and you'll forget whatever troubles haunt you now." She winked at me. "Trust me; I'm a bartender. It's my job to know these things."

I smiled at Shizumeru despite myself. She was right--I couldn't run from my past, no matter how much I wanted to. I shouldn't forget those things that have no business in being forgotten. I have made the same mistake my parents did: I took the painful memories and ran from the pleasant ones.

"Do you know where they are, Shizumeru?"

She laughed. "I just knew you would listen to me," she said, and bent down to shuffle through several piles of paper and mess under the counter. "Where did I put it..." she mumbled, before finally hitting jackpot. "Aha!" she cried triumphantly, and held up a scrap of paper.

She stood up and held the paper before me. "This, Mylene, will not take you where you will eventually need to be," she said, her voice conveying her utmost seriousness. "However, it will take you to your friends."

I looked at Shizumeru, confused. How could a girl my age, tending a bar on a planet extremely far away from the Macross 7 fleet have much more of an understanding of my situation than I myself? How can she say such wise and proverbial thoughts while not knowing what was going to happen in the next twenty minutes?

I just don't understand...

I took the piece of paper from her hand and stood to leave.

"Mylene," she called after me. "Grant me one favor."

How could I deny a favor to the one who had begun to pick up the fractured pieces of my shattered life? "Anything."

"Let me watch you take off."

I laughed, and nodded. "Sure."

She grabbed something else from behind the counter before scampering out from behind the bar and joined me. We both walked outside of the building and headed back towards my Valkyrie. She handed me the bundle that she had prepared--enough food to get me through the journey ahead. She had been making it while I had been reminiscing about my life as a rock idol. I hadn't even noticed.

I hugged her. "Thank you for lending me such support in my time of confusion," I said. Someone else's words coming out of my mouth. I didn't even know where I had gotten them. They just felt right.

I made my way to the cockpit of my Valkyrie and turned back to Shizumeru. She cheered for me as I turned around and gave her a thumbs-up. She still cheered when I entered my Valkyrie and jetted off into space.

When I had blasted through the orbit of Kanashimi, I looked at the scrap of paper that Shizumeru had given me. The paper was a map to the planet Deai--a small planet not too far off from the Macross 7 fleet. I set my course and allowed the obscurity of space to swallow me once again as I voyaged throughout the galaxy.

Deai was extremely small, I soon realized, as I approached it at rapid alacrity. When I touched down, I had no trouble finding a small settlement. I hopped out of my Valkyrie and ran into the nearest building. The people inside simply stared, as though I was some sort of alien. And I guessed that, in a bizarre way, I was.

"Do you know of a man named Ray Lovelock?" I asked, my heart racing with excitement and impatience.

One of the men inside looked me over and raised a thoughtful finger to his lips. "Lovelock...Lovelock...oh, right. The musician." The man winked at me. "He lives about a mile or two out of town, to the east."

I looked at the man before me dubiously before finally deducting that it was the closest lead to Ray's whereabouts, and that I would have to take it. I ran out of the building and jumped into my Valkyrie, heading in the direction I was informed.

I soon saw a small house with a large Valkyrie parked outside of it. There was no doubt-this was Ray's house. And Veffidas lived there as well, surely.

I parked my Valkyrie and quickly stumbled out of it. "Ray!" I called, and banged on the door. "Ray! Ray!" I continued to knock violently on the door until it finally opened, and I at last saw Ray Lovelock, former member of Fire Bomber, beloved friend and mentor.

His eyes widened in shock. "...Mylene?" he asked out of confusion. He looked behind me to the large, pink monstrosity behind me before his eyes met mine again. "Mylene? Is it really you?"

I nodded happily, and threw my arms around him. The warmth of his body was welcomed as an old friend during my time of such crisis.

His strong arms wrapped around my body and he embraced me back. "...can't believe it..." was all I really heard, before he let me go and I released him. "Come in," he said, backing up and allowing me inside.

His house wasn't spotless, but I noted with joy that he made attempts to clean it as often as he could. Ray disappeared into what I assumed was the kitchen before coming out with two lemonades. The same brand I once drank with Basara, I thought, before shaking such memories out of my head and accepting the cool drink.

"Why are you here?" he asked.

"I struck out on my own," I replied.

"When was that?"

I hadn't slept in days. I couldn't remember the last time I had closed my eyes. I suddenly felt a large rush of fatigue sweep over my body, and I faltered, falling to the ground. Ray was there to pick me up. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yes...I'm sorry about the lemonade," I replied, indicating the spilled bottle.

"Let's get you into bed," he said, leaving the lemonade and helping me into what I presumed was his bedroom. He drew back the sheets--clean, I noticed with surprise--and helped me in.

"Just rest," he said, heading towards the door. "I'll be right outside."

It came to my mind to thank him, but by that time I had already fallen asleep.

My nightmares were plagued with images of Uragiri. Inside and out he had stolen a part of me that I had not been willing to give, making himself a piece of me for the rest of my existence. Over and over the scenes replayed, my mind's eye filling in the pictures that I had forced myself not to see. Lights flashed and sounds haunted my ears and that laugh pierced my soul with fear.

And when it was over, I was in a field with Basara. He looked at me with such hurt in his eyes, as though I had betrayed him. I reached for him and he turned his head to the side and faded into the scenery. The ground cracked beneath me before crumbling entirely and I fell into it, completely out of control of my fate, screaming the entire way down.

When I awoke, I was in Ray's strong arms and gentle embrace, being rocked slowly. "Shh..." he coaxed. "Mylene...you were having a nightmare."

I attempted to talk to him, to tell him that I was all right, but my voice had become a tight knot.

His arms unfolded and his hands made contact with my shoulders, forcing me to look into his eyes. "Mylene...what happened to you?"

"I..." I rasped, before breaking apart completely. I flew into his arms, sobbing in heavingg breaths into his chest, the noise muffled by the pressure. His arms went back around me, lightly stroking my back. I quivered and shook from both my whimpering and fear. I felt as though Uragiri was on my heels, tracking me, stalking me, waiting for the time when I would make a mistake and he would destroy me again.

Could I ever feel safe again?

When my lamentation subsided, Ray stood up and offered me his hand. "Thirsty?" he asked, smiling. I swiped at my eye with the back of my hand and nodded, returning the smile as best as I could. Ray was maintaining a sense of normalcy, and I was going to struggle to maintain one as best as I could. I took his hand, and he led me into the kitchen.

Ray rooted through the small refrigerator of his and produced another container of lemonade, the kind I hadn't had a chance to drink before. "It's all I have, I'm afraid," he said apologetically.

Ray took a can of beer out from the refrigerator, and answered my tacit questioning gaze. "Well, all I have that YOU can drink," he finished, laughing and opening the can. Foam ran out of the top and onto his hand and he licked it up quickly.

"You forget that I'm eighteen, Ray," I chided mockingly.

"That's right," he murmured, his eyes becoming distant. He chuckled softly. "I guess I still think of you as the rambunctious, zealous child of fifteen." He indicated the lemonade in his other hand and cocked his head back to the refrigerator. "There's more beer, if you want that instead."

I took the bottle from him and popped it open, taking a drink before shaking my head. "It's fine," I said quietly.

"Are you hungry?" he asked. Ray had always been so kind to me.

I nodded, starting to feel better. Ray winked at me. "All right. Go wait in the living room. Watch some television or something. I'll be out in a little bit." He laughed at my hesitancy. "Go on!" he exclaimed, pushing me into the room and sitting me on the sofa. He tossed me the controller and the television channel guide. "Go on and watch. I'll make us some dinner." He rubbed his stomach. "I'm starving." He laughed, and disappeared into the kitchen again.

I sat in silence for a moment longer before gently pressing a button on the controller. Instantly flashes of bands playing in concerts with screaming fans flickered onto the screen, and I changed the channel quickly, still not wanting to deal with such images. I changed the channel and found a movie. I watched as the two lovers were separated by families and other social situations, but finally were reunited in the end.

I didn't realize when Ray had walked in, holding my dinner plate in one hand and his in the other. I was much too engrossed in the movie. "That good?" he had said, to break me out of my repertoire.

I looked up at him in shock and reached for the plate. "Yes," I replied. "Very good."

Ray sat next to me on the couch and began to quietly eat his dinner, his eyes fixed on the images flashing in front of him. He never pushed me, he never brought up the incident in his bedroom earlier. Ray was such a good friend to me.

When we finished eating, Ray cleared the plates from the table and brought me another lemonade and a beer for himself. He popped it open and I did the same, and we both took two large gulps from the cans before either of us ventured to talk.

"I'm...sorry," I finally said, "about earlier."

"It was no trouble, Mylene." A pause, followed by his hesitant query. "Are you feeling better?"

I nodded. "A bit."

"...What happened, Mylene?"

I closed my eyes and took a large breath. And I told him everything. I told him about my decision to forget my association with Fire Bomber, and my talk with my mother. I told him about my flight in space to the first planet--how you could see billions of stars and it was breathtakingly beautiful. And then I told him about Uragiri, my eyes taking a sudden fascination with my clasped hands. I heard a sharp intake of breath from Ray, and when I looked up, I saw him squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth in pain. I lowered my head back down and gave him time. It isn't an easy thing.

"And that's why you woke up crying," I finally heard.

I nodded. "I dreamed...I saw it in my nightmare. Over and over. Time and time again. And it scared me."

"But that wasn't all of your dream, Mylene, was it? There was something else. Someone else?"

I considered telling Ray about Basara. That I was feeling something in my heart and soul that I hadn't felt during my days in Fire Bomber, and all I knew was that it had something to do with Basara. I finally shook my head. "No one, Ray."

Ray nodded acceptingly. He would not push me if I did not want to talk. I felt somewhat guilty.

"Ray," I said, lightening the tone of my voice, desperate to change the subject. "Where is Veffidas? I haven't seen her around today."

Ray looked at me, startled, before taking another drink from his beer can and sighing. "Mylene," he finally said, "...Veffidas is dead. She died about two months ago."

My eyes widened in shock and I felt weak. We had lost a fourth of Fire Bomber; I had lost a fourth of my essence. Veffidas had always been my silent supporter, letting me talk to her while she listened intently, even if she was banging her drumsticks to some silent rhythm that played out in her head. We sometimes hung out together during the band's off-days. We had gone shopping, once, and she picked out an outfit that she had indicated would look good on me. It was still my favorite outfit, years later.

The silent drummer...why had she been so quiet? It wasn't due to lack of words; she was the kind of person who would rather listen to someone than to talk. And when she did talk, her words were so full of wisdom and experience that you could not help but take heed of them.

...Veffidas...

I clutched tightly to my empty lemonade bottle. "...How?" I finally asked, my head dropping to the floor and my long pink hair hiding my eyes; my emotions.

"Something went wrong with the micronization process, Mylene." Ray cleared his throat, and I realized that I was in for a lecture, and had better pay attention. "Back in 2009, we encountered an alien race known as the Zentredi. Your mother was one, as I'm sure you know, and Veffidas was one. When they decided to live peacefully with us the next year, they undertook the micronization process to get down to our size."

He took another sip of beer. "What you probably don't know is that back in 2010, the Micron Process was still very experimental. Many Zentredi formed a voluntary test group to analyze the effects of the micron ray, and to see if it worked. Your mother was included in that first group, and the baby Veffidas was included in the second. But...something happened, Mylene. The rays...they didn't work for Veffidas. I mean, they worked; they shrunk her down...but she was sick." Ray shook his head in disbelief. "Veffidas was dying throughout her career in Fire Bomber...and she didn't tell us. She protected her secret until the very end."

"...You're lying...right?" I finally asked softly. "Veffidas...is hiding somewhere...right?" Even at the age of eighteen I still found myself asking childish questions that I knew held no merit. I know the truth, but I don't accept it.

Ray shook his head rapidly. "She's...I...I buried her behind the house. Under a tree that she said was the most beautiful." A somber smile made its way to his lips. "She would always bang her drumsticks on that tree for hours, and I would accompany her. We played Fire Bomber songs...it was like old times again."

I stood up and walked over to my old friend, and embraced him. He needed me as much as I needed him. We were each other's support; we were rocks, we were someone to lean on.

Ray stroked my arm lightly before standing up and taking the lemonade bottle from me. "You can stay here as long as you'd like, Mylene. I'm getting lonely." With those words, he stood up and headed for the kitchen.

"Ray?" I asked as an afterthought. He turned around in acknowledgment. "Do you think my mother could have the same disease that Veffidas had?"

Ray hesitates before answering me. "...I don't know, Mylene. It seems to me that Veffidas' condition was a fluke. I would...I would be surprised if your mother had the same symptoms." He walked into the kitchen and left me in the television room.

And I stayed. I stayed for an entire year.

Life with Ray wasn't bad at all. We made it fun. We both tried as hard as we could to knock out any thoughts of Veffidas, or Uragiri, or Fire Bomber. I tried even harder to forget Basara.

Basara.

No. Stop. Mylene. Don't think. Just act.

Uragiri acted without thinking...

Stop it, Mylene.

Time passed, and seasons changed. I slowly began to forget about Uragiri, and my experiences on that planet. I never forgot its beauty, though, and I never forgot about Shizumeru. They both represented something glorious in my heart:
The beauty of Daiyaku gave me new hope for humanity, and the company of Shizumeru kept my life's stability when everything seemed to have fallen apart.

I will never forget either.

I still had the dreams, though. Of my defiling. Only they slowly became less and less graphic, and more of an emotional toil than anything else. It always ended the same, though-with Basara disappearing in the field and I falling through the crumbled, shaking ground.

It never got any easier. I woke in the middle of every night and wept silently, and every morning Ray would not know a thing.

Ray brought me a telegram at the end of the year I was living with him. I was surprised--I had never gotten mail at Ray's house, or nearly any other time. Ray rarely got mail himself; all I ever recalled him getting was a single letter from a planet I had never heard of called Jiyuu. We were both eager to see what it contained.

"It's from City 7," I noted, and he nodded solemnly.

I pressed the button that activated the screen to show me the letter, and I read it. When I had finished, I dropped the telegram chip, breaking it completely.

I felt Ray's supportive hand at my back. "What happened, Mylene?" he asked me. He already knew. He knew what was going to happen even last year, when he told me of Veffidas. He just wanted to hear it from my lips. All of the first- and some of the second-string Zentredi were dying off due to long term complications from the Micron Process.

Miria Jenius was currently one of them.

She wasn't dead yet, but very much on the verge.

Had my mother known about it as Veffidas had? Had she been hiding it from me since the very beginning?

...Did I have it?

Was it possible for such an illness to be transferred from mother to daughter?

...But I'm not Zendreti...I'm human...

...I'm not human. Half-human. Halfling.

Freak.

Ray began to rub small circles on my back with his hand. "You should go see her, Mylene," he said softly.

I nodded, still in a state of shock and worry. I turned and looked into Ray's eyes, and saw sadness, but stability. "Ray," I whisper, my voice cracking, "I have to go."

He nodded understandingly, and removed his hand from my back. "I'll help you pack," he said, and we went into my room together. He left momentarily and soon brought in an armload of things to add to my collection. He placed the load of items onto an open part of my bed. "These are for you," he said. "I don't want them anymore, so I figured that you might make better use of them than I. They're old clothes that no longer fit me."

I nodded, and began to root through the pile. Ray began to fold my clothes neatly and pack them in the bag. I noticed his actions, and stopped looking through the clothes. "I'll be fine, Ray," I said. "Really. I'll be okay."

Ray nodded. "I'll go and fix dinner, then." And with that, he left for the kitchen.

I packed not only my clothes, but also several of the ones that Ray gave me. The clothes that I didn't want I folded up neatly and placed on the ground below me. The last item of his that I picked up was a sleeveless green shirt-much too
small to be Ray's.

I fingered the shirt's material and remembered where I had seen it before.

Basara.

This was Basara's shirt.

I dropped it quickly and it fell to the floor, slightly wrinkled. I simply stared at it for several minutes; refusing to acknowledge its existence. Eventually, I slowly reached down and picked it up: I, for the first time in four years, was in contact with a part of Basara.

And it hurt. It HURT.

I brought the clothing to my nose and slowly inhaled. Although the scent was faint, it was still there: essence of Basara. Blood and sweat and tears. Joy and sorrow. Pain and rejuvenation. All were conveyed to me in that one sleeveless green shirt.

I packed it with the rest of my belongings, and stood to join Ray for dinner.

At dinner the two of us discussed how I was going to get back home, and how long I would stay there before coming back.

"I won't expect you," Ray said, taking another bite of his meal.

"What do you mean?"

"Your mother will most likely want you to marry Gamlin. You're not going to move out of City 7 to come back to me, especially with a husband and probable kids." He wiped his mouth with his napkin. "I would be surprised if you came back at all...I won't expect you."

I could feel rage build up inside and yet I said nothing. I finished my dinner quickly and excused myself, heading for my bedroom and falling asleep on the spot. I always slept best when I was angry--it came from years of knowing Basara Nekki.

I dreamt once again of Uragiri's treachery; only when Basara appeared, the ground didn't break immediately. For the first time in a year, he opened his mouth and I could hear his voice.

"You're not going to move out of City 7 to come back to me." Ray's words coming out of his mouth.

Please, Basara...you don't mean it...

"I won't expect you."

My world shattered and I reached for him. The ground crumbled and collapsed below me and I woke up, trembling violently.

I hugged my knees to my chest and resisted the urge not to cry out for Ray, who I knew would always support me in my troubles. If I had told him about my dreams when they happened, they might have been gone by now. Why did I continue to torment myself?

I looked around my darkened room and fumbled for the light switch. I set the beam on low, so Ray would not awaken and suspect that something was wrong with me. My gaze fell from the light switch to the opened suitcase on the ground, and to the green shirt. I slowly moved to pick it up, and hugged it to my body.

Basara would comfort me. Those damning words...he would never say them.

He held my heart and my soul in his palm, and he was tossing it from hand to hand, deciding on how to play the game.

I inhaled the scent from the shirt one last time before placing it back in my bag and switching off the light, hoping that I could get more sleep before my trip back to City 7.

I left early the next morning, before Ray had woken up. I didn't want to see him; not after what he had said to me the night before.

I quickly embraced the dark void of space like an old friend, the stars representing every fulfilled promise. It was quiet, I noticed for the first time. No exploding missiles, no attacking Protodevilns, no Diamond Force pilots screaming orders over semi-secure communication lines.

...No Basara singing his heart out in a big, shiny, red Valkyrie.

I soon caught sight of the familiar Macross 7 fleet, and touched down in City 7. I showed them my proof of residency and ran to the nearest public transportation terminal. I didn't know where my car was. Probably at my mother's house. When I got onto the bus, I sat down and waited until the area where my mother lived. Luckily for the driver and the civilians seated around me, the bus made stops at City Hall, or I would have gotten extremely pissed.

I hopped off of the bus and sprinted like mad for the door to the City Hall. The guards didn't even bother to check my ID; they knew screaming pink hair like mine when they saw it. There was only one girl in City 7 with hair like mine, and that was me. I hurried to my mother's office.

"Mom!" I called, bursting in through the doors.

The room was completely empty. Was she truly gone, and I had arrived too late?

Couldn't be...

"She's already left," a voice informed me from behind. When I turned, I saw my father. "I thought you might come here, Mylene," he said. He smiled a bit. "It's been a while. I've missed you." He hugged me, and I hugged him back.

I soon pulled back and looked into his eyes. "Dad...where's mom?"

"She's at home."

"I want to see her."

My father nodded solemnly.

"She's not doing very well, is she?"

He shook his head. "She's beyond treatment. They expect it...any day now. There was nothing more that they could have done...so I took her home to die."

I held onto my father; lending support while taking it. We both walked out to his car and he drove me on the long, familiar route back home.

City 7 hadn't changed in a year, I noted. There were still falling-apart buildings and people loitering in the streets. I somehow felt strangely at ease; I was finally home, after a year...after everything that had happened during my travels.

When we arrived home, I tentatively opened the door and stepped inside. "I'm...home," I called softly, and headed for my parents' room. "Mom?" I inquired to the quiet house. "Mom?" I reached my parents' room, and looked inside.

In the large bed laid my mother, formerly Mayor Miria of City 7. I walked in and held her hand, and she opened her eyes to acknowledge me.

"...Max?" she asked, her voice extremely hoarse.

I shook my head. "It's me, Mom."

"...Mylene?" My mother was in an incredibly weak state. My father was right--she really didn't have much longer.

"Hi, mom," I said, trying desperately not to let my voice falter. If it did, I knew that I would have lost control completely and crumble into a quivering mass on the floor.

I lost Veffidas. I was about to lose my mother.

I lost Basara.

I hadn't lost him completely...had I?

"Mom, why didn't you tell me about your sickness?"

My mother talked slowly; it was evident that she was in pain. "I didn't want to worry you."

"Why, mom?"

"You were in that band..." She smiled, and looked at the picture on the bedside table. It's of Fire Bomber; the same one I have in my photo album. I guess I gave her a copy. "I didn't want it to hinder your experience. I've always...I've always loved you, Mylene. Even if I didn't show it sometimes. And you know that I'll always love you...no matter which one you choose."

I realized that she was referring to my choice: Affiliation with Fire Bomber, or complete independence.

I squeezed her hand tightly, and looked up at my father, who was standing careful watch at the doorway. His military commander hat was absent--I hadn't seen him like that in some time. I let go of my mother's hand, and rose to meet him. I left the room, leaving them alone to spend some time together. We didn't know how much time she had left.

I wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a can of lemonade. I had been drinking the sweet, tangy beverage like nothing else for the past year, and had almost developed a craving for it. I popped it open and took a sip, walking into the living room and plopping down on the couch.

My parents' house hadn't changed much in the year that I was gone, I noted as I looked around. There was still the same furniture, same books on the tables on either side of the couch, same pictures on the wall...

And new pictures on the mantle.

Curious, I rose to my feet and walked over to it, sipping from my drink again. I put the lemonade on the mantle, picking up one of the pictures.

Me and Gamlin.

I looked at the other.

Me and Basara.

Both framed in exactly the same picture frame. Put up on separate sides of the mantle.

I was wrong. My mother wasn't talking about my choice between independence or rock idol.

She was talking about the confusion in my heart.

Gamlin was sweet to me. He took me out on dates, and seemed to honestly care about me. He was strapping, handsome. Polite. Always made sure that I was happy. I could definitely go for a guy like him.

Basara was cruel to me. He took me to practices, and couldn't give a damn about my well fare. He was tall, annoying. Teasing. Always made sure that he could put me down. How could I ever go for a guy like him?

No. Wait.

Basara was kind to me. He saved me from the vampires, and helped me when I was lagging during practice. He was tall, handsome. Considerate. Always made sure that I felt better when I was down.

I could definitely...go for a guy like him...

I put down the picture of me and Gamlin and ran a finger over the picture of me and Basara.

I want to see him.

I shook my head rapidly, and put the picture back on the mantle, picking up the one of me and Gamlin.

Gamlin. I want to see Gamlin.

...Right?

I made sure that both pictures were in their proper places before picking up my lemonade and walking back to the couch. I flipped on the television, not really watching, but needing something to take my mind off of the situation at hand.

My mother died about a month later. I had had several talks with her before her death. Neither of us talked of her illness or about my first conversation with her. We kept it normal; we kept it happy. We talked about the new mayor of City 7, and she agreed that the woman in office was one who could follow in her footsteps. I assured my mother that no one could truly replace her as the mayor of City 7, and she agreed, laughing.

It was good to hear her laugh. It really was.

My father was in the room when it happened; I was sleeping in my bedroom. I awoke to my father's face hovering above my bed, reddened from the traces of tears he had wiped away.

I turned up the intensity of the light. "Dad?"

My father said nothing, but I already knew what had happened. I ran into my mother's room and gently held her hand. And I wept. I wept for everything I had lost. I wept for the irreparable part of me that had been cruelly stolen. I wept for my mother. I wept for Veffidas. I wept for Ray. I wept for Basara.

Most of all, I wept for my father.

Having such a relationship with my mother, and then losing her to politics and military interests...and finally gaining her back, only to lose her within two years. It didn't seem fair to him. He had given up enough to be the military commander; why did he have to lose his wife as well?

When the tears subsided, I left the room to give my father time to mourn; time to heal. I walked to the phone and picked up the remote that would display the phone monitor, and pushed the button to turn it on. I entered Ray's phone number, and soon his voice echoed.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Ray, it's me." I paused. "Please turn on the monitor."

The monitor on the other end flickered on. "Mylene?" he asked in wonder. "Are you all right?"

I nodded. "...She's gone, Ray."

He closed his eyes in remorse. "...I see. I'm so sorry, Mylene."

"Ray," I said, desperate to change the subject, "...I'm sorry for leaving without telling you."

Ray shook his head. "It's all right." A pause. "...Are you coming back, Mylene?"

I opened my mouth before closing it again. I didn't know. I told him as much, and he nodded in understanding. "Just keep in touch, all right?" I promised him I would.

I cut the call and proceeded to dial Gamlin's number. I didn't use the monitor; I didn't want him to see me, my face blushing with shed tears.

He picked up. "This is Gamlin," his voice said, gruffly. I couldn't help but smile; he was always strictly business.

"...Gamlin?" I ask.

"...Mylene?"

I smiled. After a year, he still recognized my voice. "How are you?"

"...I'm doing well, Mylene. And how are you?"

"I'm fine," I lied, and paused in consideration. "Listen, Gamlin..." I call him for my mother. She wanted me to marry Gamlin, and that was what I would do. "...would you like to go out to lunch later today?"

There was hesitation, then agreement. We set up a meeting spot-the café we had always gone to when I was still dating him.

I hung up the phone and prepared myself for my date. The door to my mother's room was still closed; my father inside. He wasn't taking it well, I noticed, and vowed to help him heal.

I walked to the bathroom and splashed water in my face, washing away the last remnants of tears. I looked up from the basin and into the mirror. I stared into my own eyes for several minutes, allowing my mind to wander.

Was this what I really wanted?

What about Basara...?

I shook my head rapidly, dissipating the thoughts. If my mind was going to wander, it was not to wander in that direction.

When the time came, I dressed in one the kimono that Gamlin gave me when I was fifteen. I was amazed that it still fit my figure--when I was younger, it was a little large on me, but I grew. And it was a little tight, but it still fit well enough that I could wear it with only minor discomfort. I left the house and headed for the café.

Gamlin was just as handsome as ever, his hair still neatly trimmed and short, combed back in the fashion of a true pilot. He seemed nervous; I walked to the table and greeted him. He stood up in shock, looking me over in amazement.

"Mylene...you look wonderful," he finally said.

"Thank you, Gamlin. You're looking good as well."

"Aah, well, no," he stammered, "I guess..." He held up his hand and sighed. "Shall we sit?"

I nodded, and took my place opposite of where he had been sitting. He sat back down, taking a sip from his coffee.

"Gamlin, I'm sure that you've probably heard about my mother by now..."

He nodded. "I was very sorry to hear about your mother," he said solemnly. "It is a great loss...an ace pilot and the best mayor that this city ever had."

I resisted the urge to mention that my mother was, until recently, the only mayor that the city had ever had. "And you remember that she had wanted us to marry?" I was strictly business now. No more playing around. I couldn't remain a child forever.

"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," he interjected.

I dropped my head, unaware of his hesitation, resigning to my fate. "I'll marry you, Gamlin," I said softly. "It's what my mother wanted. I'll marry you."

There was nothing but silence.

"Mylene," Gamlin finally said, "I don't know what to say. I mean...I don't quite know how to tell you this. The truth is..." He scrubbed a hand across his face and sighed. "The truth is...I married while you were gone."

My head shot up and I looked at him in amazement.

"Mylene...I wasn't getting any younger. I just...I couldn't wait any longer. I couldn't wait for you forever. And your mother...when she was sick, she approached me and asked me to date one of the ship's pilots. And she was a nice girl. And we saw each other from time to time. And when Fire Bomber broke up, and you became distant, we started seeing each other more and more." He sighed. "Miho's a lovely woman..."

Another chunk of my world fell completely apart.

"You married the ship pilot?" I asked, bemused. "My mother set you up with a ship pilot?"

Gamlin nodded. "I'm so sorry, Mylene. I just...I couldn't wait around for you forever."

I nodded, understanding. I stood up and extended my arm to him, and he stood and took it. "Good luck with your wife," I said. "I wish you healthy children."

Gamlin blushed; he had one on the way, he informed me. I laughed at his self-consciousness.

"Make sure you play 'Planet Dance' around it all the time so it grows big and healthy, okay?" I called while walking away from him, waving and smiling.

When I was out of site of the café, I began to show worry on my face. My mother was dead, my father was mourning. Gamlin was married, our engagement broken. Veffidas was dead as well, leaving a suffering and alone Ray. Basara...Basara was dead to me. I deducted that the only thing left for me to do was to go and live with Ray again; at least we had each other's company so we wouldn't be entirely alone.

I walked through City 7 for the rest of the day and into the early evening. I didn't want to go home and face my father with my failure. Not when he was as distressed as he was currently.

Dusk had fallen when I finally made my way back into my father's house. I opened the door and called out my salutations, and quietly walked to my parents' room, opening the door to find my father sitting there in the dark, staring at their bed.

"Dad?" I asked, and entered the room, my back against the wall by the door. "Dad...you shouldn't just sit in the dark like this. I know you're sad, but you really should come out and eat something."

My father remained unmoving, his eyes glued to the empty bed. Before I had gone out with Gamlin, I had called my mother's old official, Michael, to come and take her body to prepare her for burial. I didn't want to do it, and I knew it would break my father's heart if he did.

"Dad..." I tried again. "Dad, I know you loved mom. A lot. Even when you were separated from her, your heart still called for her. And I know that hers called for you at the same time. Your pride was your weak point. But please..." I said, taking a step towards him. "...Please don't be like this. I couldn't stand to lose both of my parents, as well as my band. I've lost Mom and Veffidas, and Basara is out of reach. Gamlin has married and will soon have a family. Ray has become separated from himself, and I don't want you to end up the same way."

My father's head turned and acknowledged me for seemingly the first time. "Mylene?" he asked softly, and smiled. He braced himself on the armrests of the chair and pushed himself to his feet, walking to me. "I'm sorry, Mylene," he said, and I embraced my father. I wanted to help him with his grief, as Ray had helped me with mine.

The burial was a few days later, in part of the park my mother had often frequented when she had not been doing official duties. The invited party was small--a few governmental officials, my father, Gamlin, a few more pilots who had been her students, and me. Her red fighter Valkyrie stood watch over her burial plot, and it somehow put me more at ease. I somehow knew that my mother would have wanted this, and would have laughed at her own situation.

I stayed with my father for three months, helping him to cope with his sorrow. Day by day, he began to improve. He never forgot my mother, though, and I never wanted him to. I wanted to show him, however, that there was still beauty in the world and in City 7.

He took over his bridgework soon after, and I began to visit him on the bridge. On one such day, I noticed Miho, one of the two frontal pilots, had a bulging belly. I smiled, and continued to talk to my father.

The bridge door soon opened, and I saw Gamlin walk in and cross to his wife, unaware of my presence. She stood to greet him, and he put a protective hand on her belly, giving her a sweet kiss.

I excused myself from my father and walked over to the two. "Is it a boy or a girl?" I asked. The two turned and looked at me, surprised, and a bit embarrassed.

Miho blushed at me. "It's a boy," she replied softly.

My father had always described Miho as a strong individual; it took me by surprise when she was so quiet and shy towards me. I put on my most reassuring smile. "When is he due?"

"In about four months," she informed me, her voice gaining a little more confidence.

"What's his name?"

"Aah, well," Gamlin stumbled, "we're not sure."

I put a finger to my lips and thought considerably. "What about Harusame?" I finally inquired.

Gamlin and Miho looked at each other for confirmation before finally smiling. They both turned back to me and nodded.

"I like the sound of that," Miho spoke up, and caressed her swollen womb. "Harusame..." she said again, softly, and Gamlin put his arm around her, watching as her hands moved up and down her belly.

My feelings for Gamlin became completely extinguished as I saw the sight of how happy he and his wife looked. I turned heel and walked off of the bridge and back into City 7.

On the night of what was to be my final day in City 7, my father poked his head out of the kitchen door. "Mylene! Dinner!" he called, and soon emerged with two plates of steaming hot food. He gave one to me and took the other for himself, and we sat at opposite ends of the small table near the kitchen.

We ate in silence for quite some time, before I finally spoke. "Dad...I think I'm going to stay here with you from now on."

He looked at me as though I were speaking in a foreign tongue. "Why?"

I was astonished. "There's nowhere else for me to go, dad."

"What about Ray?"

I put down my fork. "Dad...what about you? You'd be all alone!"

My father smiled at me, and I realized that I had not seen him smile like that since my mother had died. It was a nice feeling, knowing that my father was able to find joy again. "Mylene, look at me," he said, and I found my eyes fixed on his. His face became serious. "Mylene, I'm growing old. You don't want to hang around me forever. I'm also perfectly capable of faring for myself; besides," he added, winking, "I've got all those pilot girls on the bridge who would do anything to take care of me."

"But Dad," I started, before biting my tongue. What was there to say?

My father took a bite of his dinner, and pointed his fork in my direction. "You need to find someone, Mylene. I don't want you to end up old and alone. Don't make the same mistake your mother and I made."

My mind wandered and I remembered my mother's words before I had left City 7 for the first time: "We were both too preoccupied with how we had done each other wrong that we forgot our love for each other."

I looked down at the remainder of my meal, my appetite suddenly abandoning me. "What should I do, Dad?" I asked.

My father took another bite of his dinner before finally responding. "I think that you should go back with Ray. He seems to need you more than I do. He's living alone."

I nodded. Part of me was sad to leave, but most of me was happy that my father agreed with what my heart had been telling me to do since my parting with Gamlin. I rose to my feet and took my plate into the kitchen, washing it off and leaving it to soak in the sink. I walked back out to my father.

"I'm going to leave tomorrow," I announced, and went to my room to pack.

I could feel my father's smile as I walked away from him.

I blasted off the next day, headed for the now-familiar course for Deai. I smiled as I remembered my father's face as I handed him my furry pet, Guvava. "You've been taking such good care of him this past year," I had said. "Why don't you keep him?" Guvava had jumped eagerly on my father's shoulder, and he wore his new pet onto the bridge the day I blasted off, frightening one or two of the pilot girls in the process.

When I landed, Ray was outside, welcoming me with open arms and a smile on his face. I handed him my bag, and jumped out of my Valkyrie, and we walked into his house, living together once again as though the three months I had been away had never happened. However, every once in a while, Ray became distant from me, as though he were hiding something. Whenever I inquired about it, he would shrug it off and say that it was nothing; that he was thinking about Veffidas or about my mother. I knew he was lying, but didn't push him. He didn't push me when I was in turmoil; I certainly wasn't going to push him during his.

In the fifth month, Ray finally revealed his reason.

He called me into the television room, where he turned it off and pushed an envelope across the table where I was sitting.

I picked up the letter. "What's this?" I asked, and looked at the return address: the planet Jiyuu. This was the letter that Ray had received the year before. "Why are you giving this to me, Ray?"

"Read it," he said.

I looked at him suspiciously before shrugging and pulling the letter out of the envelope. The scrawl looked familiar; I scrolled down to the bottom of the letter, which was signed "Basara". I gasped audibly and my eyes shot up to Ray, who kept a fixed expression of concern or guilt, and did not return my gaze. My eyes returned to the letter.

"Ray," I read the letter aloud, quietly, my mouth shaping every word. "I'm happy to know that Mylene is well. You don't know how much it hurt me to hear that such a terrible thing had happened to her."

Ray had told Basara about Uragiri?

...Why?

"However," I kept reading, "I think that with your help, she can soon forget him. Mylene is..." There was more that I could not decipher; it was scratched out too harshly.

"I'm doing better despite the loss of Veffidas," the scrawl continued. "It was good to see you again, Ray."

And then there was nothing but his name. That was it.

I looked up at Ray. "You saw Basara?" I asked.

Ray nodded. "I called Basara when Veffidas told me of her sickness, and we both realized that she didn't have too much time left. When he finally got here, we talked...and we both decided that it was better if we didn't tell you. We didn't know how you would take it; to us, you were still as you were when Fire Bomber still thrived. So we hid her away from you."

Ray rose to his feet and walked to the kitchen, pulling out a beer and opening it, making his way back to me. He took a sip before continuing. "Basara stayed until Veffidas died about a week later."

"Did he leave anything with you?" I asked.

Ray looked at me, puzzled, before finally shrugging. "I suppose it's possible. Why?"

I shook my head. "No reason." I paused. "Ray...I'm going to go to bed. I'm tired."

Ray nodded. "I understand," he replied quietly, and watched me rise to my feet and cross to my room, closing the door behind me.

I opened my suitcase and pulled out the green shirt that I had salvaged months before. I laid down on my bed, staring at the ceiling for several minutes before bringing the shirt up and smelling it, savoring the faint scent of Basara. Basara had worn this shirt to Ray's house almost two years ago; that was why I still smelled him on it, despite the time we had been apart.

Basara had worn this shirt. Had breathed in it, had cried in it. Had lived in it. Part of him was currently in my arms.

...Why not the whole thing?...

I sat up in shock, staring at the shirt I clutched between both hands. Why was I feeling like this? My arms trembled as my entire body shivered and I gasped for breath.

A revelation: I wanted to see him.

I finally admitted to myself that I needed to see Basara Nekki, the man I had not seen for nearly four years. Somewhere deep in my gut or heart burned a need unlike any I had ever felt. Was that longing the explanation for my strange thoughts about him? I wasn't sure, but I hoped that I would soon find out.

I stood up and walked out of my room, clutching the shirt, and met Ray's questioning gaze in the television room.

"Basara..." I said softly. I caught my reserve and strengthened my decision and my voice. "I'm going after him," I said.

Ray nodded in understanding, and rose to draw a crude map on a piece of paper. "This is where Jiyuu is in relation to us," he said. I noticed that the planet was close to Kanashimi. Perhaps I would drop in and visit Shizumeru. After almost two years, I was sure that she would be eager to see me.

I blasted off the next morning, after giving Ray a large hug and gratuitous thanks for everything that he had given me. Not just the hospitality and care, but for the rare insight into my own heart.

When I reached Jiyuu, I found it to be nearly desolate, and covered in snow. I taxied my way to a small village, where I hopped out and ran into the nearest public building--an inn.

"Excuse me!" I called, ringing the bell at the desk. An old woman slowly made her way to the desk. "Excuse me," I continued hastily, "have you seen a man named Basara?" I pull out my photo of Fire Bomber and show it to her.

The old woman squints at the picture, holding it close to her and then far away and then smiling. "Aah, that one," she said amusedly. "I remember him. He left here about two or three months ago." She chuckled at me, and handed back the picture. "Said something about finding his song. No one really understood him."

I sighed. If Ray had told me sooner...I would have seen him.

...But would it have been the same? It took that much time for me to sort out the confusion in my heart. Even now, it is still unclear to me why my heart behaves the way it does whenever I think of Basara.

"Do you have any idea where I can find him?" I asked.

The old woman shook her head. She paused, before her eyes lit up. "He said he was heading towards Kanashimi," she finally said, remembering. "Surely you'll find him there."

"Thank you!" I exclaimed, and rushed out of the inn and jetted into space towards Kanashimi. I landed on several of the settled planets in between Jiyuu and Kanashimi, checking to see if he had landed there, but with no avail. Planet after planet I felt as though I was chasing nothing more than a shadow.

And to make things worse: my Valkyrie had been damaged on one of the planets. I don't remember how. I can only guess that in my haste I hit something as I blasted off. I would have to get it repaired-and soon. But I had no money.

I landed on Kanashimi and taxied to Shizumeru's tavern. I hopped out of my Valkyrie and ran inside.

Shizumeru looked up from the glasses she was cleaning. "Welcom--" Her eyes lit up. "Mylene!" she exclaimed, rushing out from behind the bar and embracing me. "Mylene! Did you find your friend?"

I nodded, hugging her back. "It's good to see you, Shizumeru. How have you been?"

"Business has been outstanding, thanks to rumors that a famous rock band used to drink here." She winked at me.

"Shizumeru...do you know where I can find a repair shop for my Valkyrie?"

She nodded. "My uncle used to work for the military repair unit on Macross 6. I'm sure he'll fix it for you."

"Shizumeru, can you hire me to work here?" I asked, a plan formulating as the words came out of my mouth. "I need to pay for it."

Shizumeru opened her mouth to protest, but decided against it. "I understand," she said, and nodded. "You can wait tables for me and help me when the crowds get large."

And so I found myself working for nearly two months in Shizumeru's bar, tending to the customers and mixing the drinks. By the end, I found myself rather good at mixing alcoholic beverages, but I still never touched the stuff. My first failed encounter with Shizumeru nearly two years earlier made sure that I stayed away from them.

The repairs were slow and arduous; by the end of the two months, I finally had my Valkyrie back. Shizumeru's uncle looked upon my Valkyrie, half out of pride and half out of awe. "This is the second civilian-owned VF-19 I've seen," he mused.

My eyes widened. Basara was here?

"Where did that Valkyrie go?" I asked.

Shizumeru's uncle tried to remember. "...I believe he said he was going to Jounetsu," he finally replied, before chuckling. "He said he had to find a song. He played while I worked. It was quite pleasant to hear music again."

I looked at Shizumeru, who gave me a thumbs-up and a wink. I nodded my goodbye to her, and thanked her uncle once again before jumping into my Valkyrie and heading towards Jounetsu.

Jounetsu, I noted with pleasure, was similar to Daiyaku. There was a beautiful ocean and a large hill that overlooked it. I taxied around, attempting to find a town and finding none. There was one small house; I was hesitant, given my previous experience with remote houses, but finally made the decision to touch down. I would simply have to be more careful.

I knocked lightly on the door; when there was no answer, I put more force into my fist. I waited for several minutes before opening the door to find the house completely empty. No one was there, and there were no traces that someone still lived there. I sighed, and closed the door.

I was at a loss of what to do. I had not yet found a town on Jounetsu; I would have to keep searching further upon the planet. I first wanted to rest, though, since I had been flying non-stop for hours upon hours. I looked at the gloriously blue sky above me, watching as the clouds played with the wind. My eyes soon caught sight of the large hill about a mile or two past the house, and I decided that I would climb it. Perhaps with that vantage I could see what direction civilization was in.

Leaving my Valkyrie, I took flight towards the hill, stumbling here and there and my jeans becoming dusty. When I finally reached the hill, I turned and looked back at my Valkyrie, gleaming pink in the sun. I turned to the hill in front of me and simply stared for a few minutes, looking in wonder as I realized that I would be scaling such a large monument.

The first half of the trip took me about an hour, and I could see past the house and my Valkyrie off into the distance. It still wasn't enough to get a good view, and so I pressed on.

I hiked further and further up the steep hill, my jeans becoming more and more dirty and me not caring. I still wore Basara's shirt; I hadn't worn another since I left Ray's house months ago. I washed it whenever it needed to be washed, but I never put on another shirt. Somehow it felt comforting knowing that even though he was not with me, a part of Basara was mine.

I stopped to wipe some sweat from my brow and sigh contentedly. Even though Basara was nowhere to be found, Jounetsu was still an absolutely beautiful planet. I looked further up the hill, and noted in joy that I had almost scaled the entire thing, and found myself unable not to wonder what beauty lied beyond it.

I heard light strumming on the wind, and strained to hear it again. When it did not come, I assumed that it was merely a figment of my imagination. However, the further I kept walking up the hill, the louder it became. Soon I heard a sweet male voice accompanying it.

...Couldn't be...

I ran up the small remainder of the hill and looked down. The hill became a small valley, overlooking the beach. It would have normally been a rather beautiful sight for me, but I was too busy staring at the figure strumming the acoustic guitar.

Spiky hair. Sleeveless shirt.

Can't be.

I scrambled down the hill in order to get a closer look.

My breath caught in my throat and my heart pounded wildly. Finally...after five years and months of searching...I had found Basara at last.

I cried out softly, and saw Basara's head slowly turn in acknowledgment. I saw his eyes widen in shock as he dropped his guitar to the ground, where it landed softly on a patch of grass.

Basara and I simply stared at each other in disbelief. I wanted to reach out and touch him; to make sure he was really there. But I was afraid that if I did he would dissipate like every other time in my dreams. My world would crumble once again and I would wake up, sweating and crying.

I couldn't handle that again. Not when the dream had changed, and he stood before me as he did, looking just as irresistible as the day I met him.

He was still just the same, I noted with joy. His spiky brown hair had not grown an inch since the last time I had seen him, and his jeans were the same as they were five years ago. The left leg still had the rip across the kneecap, and he still wore his orange bandanna high up on his right thigh. I can remember when he had once used that bandanna to tie my ankle when I had twisted it while running from vampires.

I took an anxious, hesitant stop towards him, and he ensued. I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, suddenly forgetting how to walk. Basara made his way towards me as I made my way towards him. We met in the middle.

"Mylene," he breathed, finally cutting the silence. I released a breath that I had not been aware that I had been holding.

"Basara..." I replied softly.

He paused, struggling for the words. "You...look well," he finally said. "Healthy." An eyebrow raised, and he looked over me with his peripherals. "That's...my shirt," he added.

He drew me out of my thoughts, and I looked down at my stomach, pulling out the fabric. I looked back at him. "I'm so sorry," I replied hastily, looking back down at the stretched material. "I'll give it back to you, and--"

I suddenly lost myself.

My eyebrows furrowed and my jaw trembled as my throat became a tight knot and I could no longer speak. My legs felt incredibly weak and my knees simply let go, sending me plummeting to the earth below my feet. My reserve crumbled and I began to cry.

Basara kneeled down in front of me silently, holding his arms out, and I flew into his embrace eagerly, allowing the tears to flow freely. I clung to him tightly, unwilling to let him go out of fear that he would stand up and walk away from me, leaving me alone with my pain.

I suddenly felt Basara's arms tighten around me, with one of his hands moving up to gently stroke my hair. It felt nice. "It's all right..." he whispered into my ear. "It's all right..." Over and over, that was simply all he said. And it was enough. The encouragement that he provided me in his own way was not lost on me, and I let my sorrows out quickly.

When my trembling had subsided, he pulled away from me, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders. He stared down into my reddened, tear-covered face. "Why are you here, Mylene?" he asked gently.

My throat scratched a little when I spoke, and it hurt. "...I came to see you," I replied quietly.

"Why?"

"...Because..." My eyes narrowed again as I felt an onslaught of tears begin to form, and I used every bit of self-control that I had to force them back down. "...Because it took me five years to realize...I want to be with you, Basara."

I stared into his eyes, seeking an answer, and saw that his were troubled.

I had seen all I needed to see.

I slowly stood up, shrugging his hands off of my shoulders, and he followed. I could feel his gaze on me, and I chose to ignore it. I stared at the ground below me. "I can see...that I was just living in a world of fantasy." I backed up and turned around and began to walk away from him.

I did not hear the footsteps that approached me several seconds later; instead, I felt Basara's arms as they slipped around my body-one across my breasts, the other across my waist-and his head burying in the back of my hair.

"...You stupid girl..." he muttered. "...I told Ray not to let you come to me."

"I know," I quietly replied, my voice trembling. "But...I needed you too much. Basara...it got to the point where you were the only one who could save me from my hellish nightmares...even if you did disappear soon after. I needed to see you...to make sure that you were doing all right." I took a large breath and marveled at the sight of Basara's arms moving with my body. "...That's what it was in the beginning," I continued. "But then...I realized that..."

Basara pulled out of my hair and removed his arms and I was saddened by the loss of contact, but could not turn to face him. We stood in silence for some time before he finally spoke.

"I didn't want to hurt you, Mylene," he said. "That's why I left." He paused in thought. "No...why I didn't contact you. Why I let you drift on your own."

I raised my head from the ground below me to look at the scenery in front of me. "You hurt me now," I countered strongly. "You could have told me...and saved me all this..." I shook my head in an attempt to banish the memories built up over half a decade. He turned me around in his arms, and I still refused to meet his gaze. He simply held me.

I soon felt the last wall splinter and crumble to the ground as I felt Basara's lips softly touched mine. Hesitantly, at first, before gaining confidence and crushing against mine, his arms finding my body and embracing it into his and mine snaking up his back to find his neck, my fingers twining together to hold him there. When he broke the kiss to catch his breath, I moaned in displeasure; when they descended once again I moaned in passion.

We soon broke our kiss and I removed my arms from his neck and he from my body and we stood, gasping quietly, catching our breaths. My cheeks felt completely flushed, and I idly wondered if his were as well. We stood for several moments before I felt the urge to break the awkward silence.

"...Basara..." I panted, cursing my lagging mind for not being able to come up with something more intelligent.

I heard his defeated sigh and simply stood as he embraced me gently. "I know," he replied. "I'm sorry."

What was he apologizing for? For kissing me? For loving me? What crime in this galaxy did he commit that was so heinous that he would have to apologize for anything?

I shook my head. "It's not that. I just..." I looked up into his expectant eyes. "...Basara," I started again, "...make me forget. I want you to make me forget...about Uragiri...about our wasted years..." I clutched to him tightly.
"...Will you stay with me?"

I was answered only by his sweet lips on mine. We sunk to our knees and embraced each other once again, holding and being held for several minutes. I marveled at the feel of his body against mine, and the heat that he provided me.
Warm shelter in safe, comfortable arms. I was his and his forever, and nothing would change that for me.

He would be my first. Not out of action, but out of love.

And that was all that really mattered.

Five years can break a heart--or give it new hope.

Basara's heart thrived for five years, and mine slowly learned its place. In the end, it was me who needed to make the final move. He was more than ready; I needed time to admit to myself and to others how I really felt. And he was patient, never saying a word, never pushing me to make my decision.

Five years...wasted...

It no longer mattered to me, I soon realized. What mattered was that we were here, together, ready to finally combine as one.

My mind focused on the events that were occurring as Basara gently pushed me to the soft grass beneath me. I fell willingly, bringing my arms up to take him down with me, my lips meeting his once again. His deft fingers made their way under my shirt and traced up my side, and I shivered-in remembrance of Uragiri, but mostly of pleasure.

Basara sensed this. His hand quickly left my shirt to smooth down my hair, and it was all I could do not to stop breathing as his golden eyes stared into mine.

"I don't want to hurt you, Mylene," he said softly, and his hand moved down to cup my cheek. "Only if you want this. Only if you're absolutely certain."

I craned my neck up to reach his lips, and they met mine again, but with no force, no passion behind them. He refused to let not only his body make his decisions, but mine as well. He pulled away from my kiss and sat back up.

I sat up as well and looked at him, willing all the determination that I could muster to make its way to my eyes and voice. I needed to convince him that I wanted this just as much as he. "Basara," I started, hoping that my eyes gazing into his would say more than I ever could. I struggled to find my words. "Basara...it's true that I want you to help me forget...but I wanted you anyway. Even if my assault had never happened...I still would have come to look for you.
Probably sooner." I cupped his face in my gentle hands. "I love you," I said quietly. "Nothing has changed that. Not time, not distance, not loss. You are the one I want to be with."

Five years can break a heart--or make it stronger.

His hands slowly reached up to cover mine, and brought them off of his face to clasp them between our bodies. We kissed once again, and this time he hid no passion, no desire from my lips, and I was glad. He removed my shirt and I aided him; he leaned down to place a kiss upon my stomach and I trembled in ecstasy. He began the slow worship of my body and I shivered in anticipation. Uragiri had been forceful and quick; Basara was gentle and took his time. He drew out and fulfilled my desires while ignoring his own. He somehow knew what I wanted, what I needed, and was quick to act on it.

For the first time in two years, the thought of sex did not send me into paroxysms of fear. Basara had banished such thoughts from my head.

It will take time for my scars to heal; I realize this. But somehow, I know that Basara will ease my pain and suffering, and for that, I am content.

When we joined together, I felt an odd sense of completion. After five years of pain and suffering, five years of sadness and solitude, five years of heartache and desperation, two lonely souls had found each other at last, and were truly combined and complete.

Basara loved me completely, inside and out. He brought out another person in me; transformed me from a frightened child to an affectionate woman. I put my trust in him so completely that I emerged a cleansed soul: the man in my arms made me feel worthy of being loved. For the first time in two years I no longer felt tainted or impure; rather, I felt whole and needed. He knew about my deflowering, and loved me just the same.

Just as I love him.

I idly played with a strand of his spiky hair, twirling it in my fingers. He lazily brought his head up from the pillow of my breasts and gazed into my eyes. Such beautiful golden eyes he has, I noted. Such intensity...I could lose myself in them forever.

I smiled at him. "You're heavy," I quipped.

He grinned back at me. "You didn't seem to be complaining about that too long ago."

I slapped at him playfully, and he grasped my hand and pulled me into a kiss.

I could never tire of his kisses...

When we separated, he looked at me for several minutes with careful eyes, before finally venturing to speak.

"I'm glad...I'm glad you came back to me, Mylene."

Five years can break a heart--or join two together.

~End~


Translation notes:
Daiyaku = substitute
Uragiri = treachery
Kanashimi = sorrow
Shizumeru = tranquility
Hagemasu = encouragement
Deai = encounter; meeting
Jiyuu = freedom
Harusame = spring rain
Jounetsu = passion


AUTHOR'S NOTE: Aaah! That brought me out of a long chain of writer's block. I think that, for now, I'm going back to Miyu fics. I wouldn't want to disappoint my fans there! And it's not as though I'm going to stop writing Macross fics; I'm just taking a little break so I don't burn myself out. That was my mistake with Miyu; now that I've had a break I'm going back to finish what I started.