Disclaimer: Mirage of Blaze belongs to Kuwabara Sensei. I am but one of the humble peons allowed to take a glimpse of greatness. And I got free T-shirt too!
Warning: Possible SPOILERS; I've also let my imagination stretch a little, but I have *bleeping* NO IDEA what the *bleep* I'm doing!
Acknowledgments: Much love to quaint_twilight, asphodel, 99me, and sagraf for their beautiful English translations, and labingi for those powerful essays. The description of Takaya's face is taken from one of the translations. I think it's from "that" famous chapter.
Waiting for a Thousand Sunsets
(Present day)
It was that moment exactly between day and night. Red, gold, yellow, brown, blended together upon everything - flowers and trees, cars, buildings, houses, even the people walking about. In a few moments the street lights would turn on and the city would be recreated once more in its vibrant evening colors. But for now, it was as if a giant hand decided to paint the whole world in one single glorious hue.
From amongst the moving crowd, one man seemed to stand apart. Eyes like flint surveyed his surroundings with imperious detachment. His measured stride moved leisurely, almost arrogantly, across the pavement. A strange aura of power exuded from his tall, broad-shouldered frame, and people instinctively walked around him, a mixture of the indifferent, the curious, the wary and the awed. But none dared breach the invisible wall that seemed to surround him. The fading afternoon sunlight picked out the amber lights in his eyes, but the angular lines of his face revealed nothing.
How long has it been? He wondered. He flexed one shoulder, as if trying to ease a strain. He no longer knew. He'd lost count. His bondage continues by his own choosing. Bound by duty, bound by honor.
But not by time.
As he had sworn, his resolve had not wavered, but the last several years had been marked by an overwhelming numbness. Almost ennui, as if the world was turning with him at its axis, all else changed except for him.
He was used to this existence. He ought to be. Always wandering, always distant. Crossing paths with countless names and faces, but never returning. Knowing everything, forgetting the rest.
Something broke into his reverie. A presence… his gaze alerted, yet he could sense no danger. His steps quickened, moving purposely to a lonely corner of the street.
"Creature, show yourself," the deep cultured voice commanded.
From nearby came a female voice, husky sweet and clear. "There is no need for that. It is only me."
He turned. Eyes as dark and luminous as the evening sky met his, regarding him quietly.
"Hello again… Naoe-san."
The man tensed, his surroundings blurred. How long has it been since someone called him by that name? How long has it been since….?
.
/\/
For the umpteenth time, Takaya surreptitiously glanced at the transfer student from across the room. "Who is she?" he murmured.
Deep, dark eyes, smooth slender hands. Hair like a silken waterfall flowing endlessly. Serene gentle smile that reminded him of spring rain.
Not that he was interested, he told himself. His mouth quirked. And since when did he start going off waxing lyrical about anyone? But there was also something…
"Hey," Chiaki poked at him rudely, interrupting his thoughts. "Weren't you taught it's not polite to stare?"
Takaya huffed in exasperation. "Weren't you doing the same thing?"
Chiaki leaned back casually in his seat. "But not so obviously. Unlike you, I already know her name's Masumi and that she just moved in with her family recently to Matsumoto. And unlike you she's a straight-A student."
"Really… " Takaya derided. "She told you that?"
"Nah," Chiaki grunted, "Saori did," pointing his thumb at the pigtail-headed chatterbox already talking animatedly to the newcomer.
"… And that's Takaya and Chiaki," Saori was saying.
Takaya bolted upright as Masumi turned and smiled. He suppressed a gasp. Morning glory… The thought came unbidden.
The girl called Masumi gave a slight start. Chiaki frowned.
.
/\/
"I am not going to do anything stupid, okay?" Chiaki muttered over Takaya's protests. "I'm just going to… oh hello, Masumi-san."
"Good morning, " Masumi greeted back politely. "…Chiaki, Takaya." The hesitation was barely discernible, but it was there.
"I was wondering," Chiaki began, deliberately locking his gaze with her. "I think you used to live in our old neighborhood in Tokyo."
Something swirled in her dark eyes. She tilted her head slightly and Chiaki felt his own spell shatter. She smiled and shook her head regretfully. "Um, no. I grew up in Nagasaki."
"…What the hell was that?" Chiaki later on confided to Takaya.
"Lame, " Takaya said in disgust, "that was totally lame."
.
/\/
The first time Naoe saw her, he felt a blow in his gut. The dark eyes and the delicate features… so familiar, so similar… and yet…
"May I speak with you please?" Naoe said to her. He indicated a bench some distance from their group. "Alone." He pointedly turned his back at Takaya. The girl merely looked at him calmly and nodded.
Takaya was pissed. "What's with the secrecy?" he complained. As he moved to follow, Nagahide yanked him by the shirt collar and settled him firmly against Naoe's car. Nagahide will later ponder on the ramifications of grabbing his General by the shirt collar, but he didn't want Takaya to go bungling, no matter how inadvertently, into whatever Naoe was trying to do.
Takaya folded his arms on top of the vehicle and sulked. What's up with him? He had barely finished telling Naoe about the new girl in class when Mr. Big Guy had dropped his "it would be in your best interest to know more about this person, Lord Kagetora" in that cold business-like tone of his that totally drove Takaya up the wall.
Of course it did give Takaya the perfect excuse to "accidentally" meet a rather very pretty girl near the school gate. Yuzuru had been all agog about his "finally being interested in someone" and had run off to leave him and Masumi to supposedly "go and talk." Not that Takaya was able to say anything once Naoe started monopolizing the conversation.
Still, he found himself staring at Masumi. Graceful as a willow, with a quiet dignity that was more arresting than Naoe's sometimes overbearing authoritativeness. Just watching her was like a balm on a sore wound. She was almost – what's the word? Ethereal.
"Is there something you wish to tell us?" Naoe asked Masumi when they were seated. She didn't seem surprised by the question.
"It's just that…" she hesitated, eyes downcast, her hands clasped together on her lap. "That you are not who you say you are."
"Is that so?"
"I don't really know," she continued. "Just that I can sense… things."
"Such as?"
"You introduced yourself as Tachibana Yoshiaki. But in truth you are… " she looked up at him, the dark gaze turning liquid, "Naoe Nobutsuna, vassal of Lord Uesugi Kagetora."
Naoe was stunned, his thoughts in turmoil. Is it possible…?
"Do you know of us? What we are?" he asked, his face an inscrutable mask.
She dropped her gaze, "Only that you are here for your mission."
"And what about yourself?"
She shook her head. "I remember my own childhood. But nothing beyond what other people know about themselves, I guess."
Naoe fell silent. Haruie had said as much. Masumi was a living soul. Apparently, she wasn't a reincarnate either, at least not anyone they knew.
"May I try something? Hold out your hand," he said. She's right-handed, he almost sighed in relief.
Naoe opened his own hand and a tiny flame appeared. Carefully, his fingers touched hers. The flame flickered slightly, then like a graceful dance, flowed onto the small hand against his. As it reached her palm, the flame grew brighter, stronger. Looking straight at her, Naoe began to chant, then as one, they glanced at Takaya who had resumed his complaining to Nagahide. The flame disappeared.
"I'll never introduce another… Wh-? Hey!" Takaya exclaimed as the same intensified flame appeared in his own hand. What the hell..? " Reacting purely on instinct, he flung his hand upwards, "Get back!"
Too strongly.
Masumi jumped, breaking contact from Naoe. "Ouch!" The flame had returned to her hand, a luminescent flower nestling in her palm. Her fingers closed over it and the flame dissipated.
.
/\/
"Lord Kagetora, you must do it!" Naoe's voice thundered across the field. "We cannot keep this up much longer. You must exorcise them both now!"
"No!" Kagetora's cry was filled with rage and desperation. "I will not let her be another sacrifice!"
Within Masumi, the vengeful spirit had a death grip on her soul. Its vacant eyes glowed with pure hatred. It wasn't interested in mere possession over Masumi, it sought to kill her both body and soul.
The spirit dared them. Destroy me, and destroy her as well. Collateral damage.
"No! Never again!" The summoning was quickly draining Kagetora's strength, but still he struggled to break the bind cast by the spirit around Masumi.
"My lord, I promise you, I will hold on to her! I won't let her die either! Exorcise them now!"
"No!"
Masumi lay crouched on the ground, fighting her own battles. Hands fisted on the grassy earth, her face awash with sweat. Purple marks began to appear on her skin.
"Lord Kagetora!" Kagetora had fallen to his knees. Naoe's own consciousness was slipping dangerously.
Masumi raised her head, eyes tightly shut from the effort.
Defende nos proelio… Her lips, drawn back in agony, moved determinedly. Veni in auxilum hominum…
The flames of purification grew brighter, turned incandescent.
Masumi cried out.… Exaudi nos!
Naoe's eyes widened with the sudden surge of power within him. He moved quickly. Bai!
A scream rent the air. Naoe and Takaya both collapsed to the ground, exhausted.
.
/\/
Naoe struggled for words, ashamed to face her again. His arrogance back then had nearly cost them her life.
She was a grown woman now, touched by the inevitable hand of time, but the delicate beauty and the luminous dark eyes were as compelling as before, holding secrets that for some reason, none of them could unravel. A jagged discoloration marred the smoothness of her left arm. She has her own scars. Still, he managed to meet her gaze with his usual controlled facade. "Masumi-san..."
She shook her head, silencing him, her eyes brimmed with kindness and understanding. She smiled, a ray of pure sunshine, unfazed by his stony demeanor.
She moved closer to him. "I just wanted to tell you … Well… it's… " her voice trailed off, unable to explain. She gestured eloquently around her. "He's here."
I just wanted you to know...
Naoe could only stand there in shocked silence.
"You showed me once how to do this, remember?" She took his hand in both of hers.
Suddenly, light flowed from her hands, exploding into a blinding radiance that seemed to consume them both. Naoe shut his eyes tightly in reflex, cowering before the mighty presence of this unknown force.
"Na…oe..."
Naoe's eyes flew open. And there he was, just as he had always been and ever.
"Naoe," he said again. His voice was slightly different, like someone waking from a deep sleep, but the cadence was the same. As Naoe remembered. As he will always remember.
"Takaya..."
Naoe pulled him tightly close, and tighter still, oblivious to the slenderness of the frame in his embrace. Tears he no longer sought to hide flowed relentlessly. Pain and pleasure, grief and intense joy, passion and disbelief, love, longing, shame and sorrow all coalesced into a jumble of emotions that left him shaken.
He drew back slightly staring at that beloved face. The straight bridge of nose, the supple lips, the assertive eyebrows. The slender eyes, a deep rich brown that could command him with a single glance.
Takaya's hands lifted to wipe Naoe's tears away, his nails lightly scoring the other's skin, his own tears falling unheeded. His fingers spread, cradling Naoe's face, tracing the proud lines and the subtle details.
How…? Lost in its magnificence, Naoe didn't know, didn't care. Whatever thoughts he had scattered, leaving only the awareness of this strange precious instance, suspended from time, space and logic. And the feel of the strong lithe form he had once held against his own for so long, so long ago, it seemed. Madness or illusion, it mattered naught.
Somewhere, someone whispered. Kyrie, eleison.
All this time, he had kept his promise. No regrets. Yet within the depths of his heart burned the need to hold on to something, something outward and physical. Such perhaps is the weakness of the corporeal human.
"Takaya..." Naoe choked, burying his face against Takaya's neck. Takaya rested his cheek against Naoe's head, his hand gently stroking the man's dark hair. Naoe staggered slightly, Takaya's arms wrapped earnestly around Naoe. Stretched to his full height, he gladly bore Naoe's weight against his own body.
I will always see him like this, Naoe thought. His love for the man he called his master had taken him far beyond anything he knew in this universe. Together, their spiritual journey will continue, but if his humanity ever needed an image of that beloved, it will always be of Ougi Takaya.
Takaya - the brave half-innocent who had given him a reason to live once more. The selfless leader and comrade who made that final surrender to their cause. And his everything, his most dearly loved, and the one who had loved him in return at last.
"Naoe," the single word was both a plea and a benediction. Seeking and bestowing all that they had been denied. Naoe pressed his mouth to his, tasting the salt and the sweetness of their mingled tears. He need not utter more. Just the sound of his name from Takaya's lips. Just once more, here, somewhere in the middle of eternity.
Kyrie, eleison…
The light faded, and once again, they were simply two people, a man and a woman, in the center of a quiet street. Outwardly strangers, yet bound by ties neither of them could define, but both of them understood.
Naoe finally released Masumi. Tears streamed down her face, she smiled sadly.
"I'm sorry," she said on a trembling sigh. "That was all I could-"
Naoe didn't answer. He brushed a kiss against her cheek. The touch, the taste of her were now soft and feminine, completely different from a while ago.
He stepped back from her and bowed. She gestured as well. Naoe turned and walked away. She watched him go. The sun had completely faded into the horizon. The automatic street lights had turned themselves on.
Another day was over.
And he breathed. For the first time in many years, Naoe breathed deeply, and the faint stirring within him gathered strength. He pressed a hand against his chest. Once again, he could feel the beat of his own heart. Hear the wind, hear the voices.
Evening had fallen, replacing the hues of red and gold, with the deeper shades of darkness and indigo. A perfect foil for the more vibrant colors of blue, green and red neon lights that characterized the city streets at night.
He lifted his face towards the sky. Not even a moon tonight. Behind the clouds, something glimmered. Venus… Sirius… Polaris? Maybe even a supernova from a billion light years away from this lonely planet.
A supernova… a star destroyed by its own power. Shattered into nothingness for the sake of the living. But is it possible, that somehow, somewhere, in its final blaze, other fragments remained? Mere stardust, seemingly insignificant, but each in itself the source of life.
Or perhaps such is the might of that star that it will continue to exist, yet dormant, waiting to rebuild its brilliance once more.
And then… some speak of a woman who could turn dust into stars.
The mystery of stars has never been truly explained. As is the power of the soul. And of love.
One day, perhaps. One day.
Kyrie, eleison.
- END -
Author's Note: Well, I did say I have no idea what exactly what I was doing. I rather feel like Takaya during his first summoning, but instead of Bishamonten, I'd most likely summon a kick in the rear or a smack upside.
I can't read Japanese, I don't know much about Japanese culture or about Buddhism. I am now somewhere in my third or fourth reading of the English translations of the novels and my mangled brain is still trying to process the magnitude of this entire experience. So far all I have to show for it is a pair of panda eyes and a trash bin of tear-stained tissues.
Still there are some things that I just can't leave alone. I just can't. Such as the seeming finality of it all. Which is probably why I got jangled awake at 3 a.m. with this story in my head.
Simply put, I don't know sh-. So a push and a shove in the right direction, particularly with the intricate details, would be very much appreciated. Thanks!