Author's Note : This story takes place after a non-canon fic that I found here called 'Second Beats' by Another Duck. This is my first time writing a Katawa Shoujo fic, so it'll be my first time in a long time writing in first person. I would also like to thank Another Duck for the suggestion of this story's title.
I stood helplessly still as she exploded at me. I had once heard that Hell had no fury like a woman scorned, and I guess I was witnessing this first-hand. Her words flew left and right, and the sting behind all of it hurt worse than any punch. "I know I need help! I know I'm broken! I don't need you to tell me that!" She was shouting. I had no doubt in my mind that everyone in the dorm could hear her. Hanako and I... we're friends. Or... rather, we were. I could feel a familiar pulsating in my chest. I opened my mouth to speak, my vision blurring as the amethyst-eyed young woman ended her rant with more poison than I had braced myself for. "I hate you more than anyone...!"
I snapped awake in a panic, sitting upright and clutching my heart. I could feel its abnormal rhythm pounding in my ears like an off-time bass drum. In, out, in, out... dammit, why wasn't this working? I continued my deep breaths, an exercise I was used to doing to calm my speeding heart. Eventually, it subsided, and I found myself breathing relieved.
Arrhythmia. A strange word. A foreign, alien one. One that you don't want to be in the same room with. Unfortunately, it seems to be a part of me and something I've come to just accept as part of my life now. It's been a long time since I've left Yamaku Academy and the list of pills I've taken has dwindled from seventeen to eleven. There is one pill that bugs me, though. A green tablet, fifty milligrams. This is my first night with the stuff and, after reading the bottle, a particular warning struck me as odd.
'May cause nightmares/hallucinations.' I didn't want to believe it, and I guess the 'may' took the edge off it. I sighed and I turned to my side, glancing at the red numbers on my alarm clock. It was two fifty-three in the morning. I sighed, still visibly shaken from the events that rattled my brain and heart not that long ago.
"H-Hisao?" came a voice I was familiar with. I glanced down to the worrying face of Hanako, who sat up and looked at me tentatively. The look on her face tore me apart; I didn't like seeing her worry for me. "Are you okay?" I don't know where she picked this up from, but she seemed to instinctively wrap her arms around me, bringing my head to her chest and stroking my hair.
Whatever restraint I had vanished at that point. My body shook, wanting to cry but unable to. If this kept up my heart would have gone again. My thoughts were distracted by her voice softly speaking to me, instructing me. "Shh... breathe." I nod and do so, my arms wrapped fairly tightly around her smaller waist. I try to speak, but all that happens is my shaking again. She continues her quiet practice of stroking my hair and telling me to inhale, and I do so, calming down. "Wh-What happened, honey?"
Honey. I never thought I'd ever hear her give me a 'pet' name, but it seems stranger things have happened tonight. "...Bad dream." I manage, and sigh woefully. "About... about our fight." I admit, it's not something I want to bring up with her. Occasionally she'll be wistful about it, but then I remind her that, if it didn't happen, we probably wouldn't be here. She nods understandingly, but doesn't cease the loving, tender strokes of my hair.
"...D-Do you... do you want me to sing you to sleep?" She asked. I sigh, thinking it's too much to ask of her. I woke her up in my fit, when she seemed to be in the middle of a peaceful night's sleep, her hair surrounding her in a raven halo, making her look like a dark-haired angel. I want to protest, but she is already singing before any sound leaves my mouth. Her voice was slow and soft, and every stanza made it harder for me to keep my eyes open.
"Day after day I'm more confused,
Yet I look for the light in the pouring rain,
You know that's a game that I hate to lose,
I'm feelin' the strain, ain't it a shame..."
Normally, I'd chuckle. Though she knows the words to all of his songs, she's not a big fan of Uncle Kracker. Hanako generally prefers bands like The Airborne Toxic Event, or Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, even Nirvana. It's a wonder she wasn't singing one of their songs instead.
"Oh, give me the beat, boys, and free my soul,
I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away.
Oh, give me the beat, boys, and free my soul,
I want to get lost in your rock and roll and drift away..."
Her voice is the best distraction I could ask for at this time. I focus solely on her, making sure my breathing is low and even. It's been at least five years since we both left Yamaku Academy, and our relationship is still as strong as it was since we made amends. I must admit, I enjoy being pampered sometimes, but at the same time, it feels like too much to ask for.
"Beginning to think that I'm wastin' time,
I don't understand the things I do,
The world outside looks so unkind,
I'm countin' on you to carry me through..."
She taps my nose at the last part of that line. I smile weakly and quietly chuckle. I reflect on that entire stanza. When I first arrived at Yamaku after my first heart attack, Hanako had been difficult to get to open up. However, by some form of miracle, she allowed me to get to know the real her. To me, that line sums up the entire time she knew me, after we became good friends. Until that day when it crashed down on me, anyway.
She goes through the chorus once more and I smile again, and she feels my arms slacken. With care, she gently positions me into one of relative comfort, and continues her soft singing, though it's pretty obvious I'm not listening. I'm half there, trying to focus on her, while at the same time, feeling sleep overtake me. All I hear is the mumble of Hanako's soft voice and, after a moment of stillness, she speaks.
"I love you." She kisses my forehead and carefully snuggles into me, and eventually we fall asleep. She's a wonderful, strong young woman, and I'm glad to have her into my life as my lover and wife.