or
gag me with a spoon
The common room was uncommonly quiet. It was well past the time most students were in bed, yet two figures sat on the shaggy rug next to the fire. The larger figure held the smaller in a comforting embrace.
"He is always so mean to me..." The smaller figure shuddered. "No matter what I do, It's never enough for him to notice me..."
The larger figure sighed and stoked the smaller's hair.
"It's a rough time for him. There is so much going on in his life, he is confused. He'll come around."
"Maybe he won't. Maybe I am destined just to watch him from afar. Sometimes I think there is something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off of him! Why can't he see that I love him!" The smaller figure sobbed.
"I don't know how he can overlook you like he does. He is passing up something so precious, and I don't understand how he can. You know that I love you, if I could rewrite the alphabet I would put U and I together."
The smaller figure sniffled.
"I'm so sorry I can't return your feelings... but I love him. I love him so much that if love could make it rain, the seas would overflow. If he was a broom he would be a firebolt, because not only has he swept me off my feet, but he has raised me up to the heavens..." Another sob. "But he doesn't even look my way. Every night I lie awake afraid to sleep because I know I will dream of him, and it will make it hurt all the more when I wake up and he isn't in my arms."
"It's okay, I understand, but always know I am here for you, okay? Always. I love you with all of my being, even if you can't return it." The larger figure stood up and held an arm out to assist the smaller. "Come on, you should rest. Tomorrow you will feel a bit better, there is a trip to Hogsmeade!"
The smaller figure brightened.
"Maybe I can convince Draco to join me for tea at that romantic little cafe!"
"Yes, you could definitely ask him. It couldn't hurt!" The two students headed towards the dormitory.
The smaller figure stopped suddenly.
"Goyle... thank you."
"No problem Crabbe."
The author would like to note that sadly, this is not the cheesiest piece of crap she has ever written, but would like any readers to know that nothing this bad could be written the least bit seriously, so do not fear for her sanity.