This is my parody of Making Heero Human by Cherry Blossom. Uh... OH SHIT!!! I CAN'T DO THAT!!! NONONONONONONOOOOOOO!!!! I should have checked the damn thing before I started to make a parody of it... I don't do that... I mean, Cherry Blossom talks, Heero talks, Duo talks, there's some little arguement, and... It doesn't make any sense! Damn it... Definition of a parody; a literary or musical work in which the style of an author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule. Meaning that I have to do it... Fine.
Author: Why the hell did I have to make a parody of this thing?
Heero: Because you're funny, and smart, and talented, and a great writer, and you're very good looking, and...
Duo: Heero, for some reason I can't help but think that the author is making you say that.
Heero: Yup. He's got a gun about ten times bigger than mine, I have to say it.
Author: That is correct. Now, enough of this! On with the fic!
Duo looked up at the timer. "Hmmm... Well, in two minutes, the oven will be ready." Heeor walked into the kitchen. "Aha! You're just in time, Heero!" Heero froze in terror. "Oh my god, what have I just walked in on?! I've got to get the hell out of here!" Duo grabbed Heero and motioned for Quatre to lock the door. "Well, Heero, here's what we're going to do... We, meaning Quatre, Trowa, Wufei and I, want to have our own television show. But we couldn't think of any ideas. Then Quatre suggested a cooking show. But I looked all around this kitchen and couldn't find a single thing to make any food with, which meant that we couldn't use that idea. But then I thought of something brilliant."
"Oh, shit... I just had to leave my gun in my room... If I had my gun I could get out of here, but nooooo, I left the damn thing on my nightstand. 'I'll be fine, I'm just going to the kitchen for a little snack.' If I live through whatever you have planned, I'll never leave my gun behind again..." Duo grinned. "Our show will be called 'Cooking Heero.' That give you any ideas on what we're going to be doing?" Heeros eyes went wide and he looked around for a knife. "What happened to all the knives?!" "Well, we figured that'd be the first thing you went for, so I had Wufei take them. You can't get anywhere near the knives." The timer dinged, and Duo grinned an evil grin. "Good, the oven is now ready..."
RECIPE 1: HEERO SOUFFLE
"Quatre, would you mind beating those egg whites? A souffle is not complete without stiffly beaten egg whites." Quatre nodded his head and began to beat the egg whites while Duo poured milk on Heero. "We have to have milk to make a souffle... For a Heero Souffle, try two cups of milk." Trowa poured a melted stick of butter on Heero. "A stick of butter is to be poured over the head of theHeero. Keep in mind that you do everything correctly, for Heeros are quite rare. You might never get another chance to make a Heero Souffle. And of course you can't forget about the flour. A half a cup of flour should be shoved down the Heeros throat, which serves two purposes. One, you need flour for a Heero Souffle. Two, then he can't scream." Duo grinned happily. "And then stick a cup of shredded cheddar cheese up his nose." Duo said as he did so. "And then all that's left is to make sure the oven is preheated to 350 degrees, at which point you put Heero in and leave him there for about 40 minutes or until a knife inserted in the middle comes out clean. I wouldn't suggest using a knife though... Not until you're sure he's been thoroughly cooked. Otherwise, the flour wont help any, and he'll scream. Then the neighbors come over with the police, and when you offer them a taste of your souffle, things do NOT go well."
RECIPE 2: HEERO STEAK
Duo pulled Heero out of the oven. "Well, good news. We aren't going to eat you! Though you are the best smelling souffle I've ever smelled. And you don't look all that bad either. But we have to make you into a steak now." Heero spit out a half cup of flour and exhaled a cup of shredded cheese. "No way in hell arre you going to do that to me again! I'm getting out of here!" Heero ran for the door, but was stopped by Quatre, who pushed him backwards into Duos arms. "No escaping. Now stand up!" Duo said as he pulled Heero to his feet. "Now, this is very simple. A Heero Steak only requires cooking. You just find a Heero, put him on the top of your stove, and set 'im on fire! Are you ready, Heero?" Duo looked down and saw Heero praying that something would happen so he could escape. "Sorry, Heero, but praying can't compare to cooking. It doesn't get the job done. You need heat for a steak." Duo tossed Heero onto the stove and started all four burners. "OH SHIT!!! THAT'S HOT!!!" Duo frowned. "Damn it... Now the neighbors will here, and the whole thing will be ruined... Hurry up! Cook, Heero, cook! I said hurry!" Duo growled angrily. "Not cooking fast enough..." Duo tossed a can of gasoline on Heero, and then smiled. "Yeah, that's more like it! Just don't let the steak burn for too long, or else... Ooh... Um... It looks like he's a little overcooked..."
"Duo... As soon as I recover from these burns... I'll kill you..." Heero said before he collapsed. "Well, that's all for todays episode! Tomorrow we'll show you how to make a Heero Cake and a nice big loaf of Yuy Bread! See you then!"
Er... I might continue this, and I might not... Depends on the reviews... You tell me whether I should continue or not. Goodbye for now, people!
Author: Why the hell did I have to make a parody of this thing?
Heero: Because you're funny, and smart, and talented, and a great writer, and you're very good looking, and...
Duo: Heero, for some reason I can't help but think that the author is making you say that.
Heero: Yup. He's got a gun about ten times bigger than mine, I have to say it.
Author: That is correct. Now, enough of this! On with the fic!
Duo looked up at the timer. "Hmmm... Well, in two minutes, the oven will be ready." Heeor walked into the kitchen. "Aha! You're just in time, Heero!" Heero froze in terror. "Oh my god, what have I just walked in on?! I've got to get the hell out of here!" Duo grabbed Heero and motioned for Quatre to lock the door. "Well, Heero, here's what we're going to do... We, meaning Quatre, Trowa, Wufei and I, want to have our own television show. But we couldn't think of any ideas. Then Quatre suggested a cooking show. But I looked all around this kitchen and couldn't find a single thing to make any food with, which meant that we couldn't use that idea. But then I thought of something brilliant."
"Oh, shit... I just had to leave my gun in my room... If I had my gun I could get out of here, but nooooo, I left the damn thing on my nightstand. 'I'll be fine, I'm just going to the kitchen for a little snack.' If I live through whatever you have planned, I'll never leave my gun behind again..." Duo grinned. "Our show will be called 'Cooking Heero.' That give you any ideas on what we're going to be doing?" Heeros eyes went wide and he looked around for a knife. "What happened to all the knives?!" "Well, we figured that'd be the first thing you went for, so I had Wufei take them. You can't get anywhere near the knives." The timer dinged, and Duo grinned an evil grin. "Good, the oven is now ready..."
RECIPE 1: HEERO SOUFFLE
"Quatre, would you mind beating those egg whites? A souffle is not complete without stiffly beaten egg whites." Quatre nodded his head and began to beat the egg whites while Duo poured milk on Heero. "We have to have milk to make a souffle... For a Heero Souffle, try two cups of milk." Trowa poured a melted stick of butter on Heero. "A stick of butter is to be poured over the head of theHeero. Keep in mind that you do everything correctly, for Heeros are quite rare. You might never get another chance to make a Heero Souffle. And of course you can't forget about the flour. A half a cup of flour should be shoved down the Heeros throat, which serves two purposes. One, you need flour for a Heero Souffle. Two, then he can't scream." Duo grinned happily. "And then stick a cup of shredded cheddar cheese up his nose." Duo said as he did so. "And then all that's left is to make sure the oven is preheated to 350 degrees, at which point you put Heero in and leave him there for about 40 minutes or until a knife inserted in the middle comes out clean. I wouldn't suggest using a knife though... Not until you're sure he's been thoroughly cooked. Otherwise, the flour wont help any, and he'll scream. Then the neighbors come over with the police, and when you offer them a taste of your souffle, things do NOT go well."
RECIPE 2: HEERO STEAK
Duo pulled Heero out of the oven. "Well, good news. We aren't going to eat you! Though you are the best smelling souffle I've ever smelled. And you don't look all that bad either. But we have to make you into a steak now." Heero spit out a half cup of flour and exhaled a cup of shredded cheese. "No way in hell arre you going to do that to me again! I'm getting out of here!" Heero ran for the door, but was stopped by Quatre, who pushed him backwards into Duos arms. "No escaping. Now stand up!" Duo said as he pulled Heero to his feet. "Now, this is very simple. A Heero Steak only requires cooking. You just find a Heero, put him on the top of your stove, and set 'im on fire! Are you ready, Heero?" Duo looked down and saw Heero praying that something would happen so he could escape. "Sorry, Heero, but praying can't compare to cooking. It doesn't get the job done. You need heat for a steak." Duo tossed Heero onto the stove and started all four burners. "OH SHIT!!! THAT'S HOT!!!" Duo frowned. "Damn it... Now the neighbors will here, and the whole thing will be ruined... Hurry up! Cook, Heero, cook! I said hurry!" Duo growled angrily. "Not cooking fast enough..." Duo tossed a can of gasoline on Heero, and then smiled. "Yeah, that's more like it! Just don't let the steak burn for too long, or else... Ooh... Um... It looks like he's a little overcooked..."
"Duo... As soon as I recover from these burns... I'll kill you..." Heero said before he collapsed. "Well, that's all for todays episode! Tomorrow we'll show you how to make a Heero Cake and a nice big loaf of Yuy Bread! See you then!"
Er... I might continue this, and I might not... Depends on the reviews... You tell me whether I should continue or not. Goodbye for now, people!