Disclaimer: In my mind, I own the newsies but in reality, they belong to Disney. I do however own my OCs.

Summary: Emotions should never be left to run wild because someone always ends up hurt.

When Emotions Run Wild

Chapter 1

I wonder how it feels to drown.

How it feels to slowly slip under the dark surface towards the oceans bottom, until the world above is not visible anymore.

Does it hurt?

To gasp for oxygen, but to only take in water. To feel lightheaded as you sink deeper and deeper into the depth of the ocean. To feel your lungs on fire as you fight to hold on to the precious few moments known as life.

Does it hurt as much as I am hurting now?

Does it hurt as much as having your heart broken by the man you thought loved you?

Does it hurt like how it hurt to have him push you away, saying you're not good enough for him. To have him tell you to go away and to never some back.

Does drowning hurt as much as that?

I guess I'll find out.

I don't bother striping down to my underclothes. What does it matter if I'm fully clothed or stark naked? In a few minutes, I'll be dead, and it won't matter what I'm wearing. The water is more violent than usual due to the storm that suppose to hit later tonight. The dark waves pound against the wooden docks like am intruder trying to break into a house. All the better for me though. The more violent the water, the faster I'll go under. The faster I won't feel the pain anymore.

I take a deep breath before taking the plunge. The first thing I feel is coldness all around me. It's like walked right into a middle of a blizzard, only instead of being surrounded by snow I'm surrounded by water. But besides the coldness it's not as terrible as I originally thought. In fact it feels rather nice. The reflection of the moon on the surface of the water is breathtaking, a view only a select few who take their lives get to witness.

I see the faces of those I have come to know and love dace into my vision. Dutchy and Specs smile down at me, the sun reflecting off their glasses, much like it did the first day I met them. Racetrack smirks as he places a royal flush in front of Swifty and Bumlets who throw their cards in down in frustration. Jack and David get into a playful argument as Les attempts to imitate Jack's every move. Mush and his girlfriend Sketches laugh as they twirl around the bunkroom in a silly mock waltz. Skittery in a friendly gesture knocks Tumbler's hat off making the younger newsie laugh. Kid Blink smiles the same smile that made me fall head over heels in love with him. But the smile fades away into a look of disappointment and then anger. I wasn't good enough for him. He wanted something different, someone different.

I feel something wrap around my waist yanking my upwards towards the surface. I try to fight whomever it is, but they are too strong, and I have already used all my energy running away from him. We break the surface and I instantly begin to cough and sputter, gasping for precious air. It doesn't occur to me to look to see who my savior is. The only thing I care about right now is breathing.

Somehow, I end up on the dock a thin coat wrapped around my tiny frame. Around me, I hear voices talking in panicking tones, but I can't comprehend what they're saying. The reality of the situation has just hit me like a ton of bricks. I almost died. I almost killed myself. The word suicide rings repeatedly in my head, and I feel my body begin to sway back and forth. I would have fallen over if pair of strong hands had not clamped down onto my shoulders.

I look up to see a familiar face looking right at me. Brown meets blue, and for a moment there is silence before the tears start to flow.

"Mush!"

If my sudden explosion of emotion surprised him, I couldn't tell. I wrapped my arm around his torso, and buried my face in his shoulder. I could feel his hand rubbing my back a he whispered words of comfort into my ear. But nothing he says can take away the pain I'm feeling.

"Why Mush? Why'd he do it? Why aren't I good enough for him?"

Mush and Sketches look at each other. They don't need to ask who I'm talking about, because they already know.

"We don't know, hon," Sketches says as she helps Mush rub my back.

I begin to cry harder, "But I love him!"

"We know," Mush says, "We know."