The Difference between Damsels in distress and Knights in shining armors

A/n: Yes I, SakuraTearDrop, has gone mad.

Disclaimer:I so do not own FMA nor Roy and Riza--Oh how I wish though!

I never understood the reason why women wanted to be damsels in distress or why they wait for some 'Hero' or 'prince' to come into their lives. More importantly, why do they swoon at the sight of my colonel? Everyday, I'd see the same thing, women surrounding my superior with chocolates and enthusiasm. The colonel would simply smirk at this scene while I, his personal aide, stood at one corner shaking my head in disapproval with a sigh.

Military women at break time would hang out with me at the table where I stay to flood me with nonsense questions about my superior:

"Are you dating the colonel?"
"Is he taken?"
"What does it feel like to have a superior who saves you at all times? I envy you for having him as your hero!"

The third question hit me the hardest among the three questions. Personally, I'd say, he's the damsel in distress. I do most of the butt kicking. I saved his ass countless times. And he saved me—when? The battle with Lust? Oh no, I didn't ask for a savior, I asked to die. He's the damsel in distress, not me. I'm the woman who carries pistols for the sake of protecting her smart-ass superior while he on the other hand wears those Pyrex gloves that are never useful in the rain; luckily, I'm there to save him always.

These thoughts would soon cease a bit once I reached the office. As usual the boys would snooze or slack off their paperwork. I sighed and quietly took out my gun from its holster.

When Fury saw me holding my gun, ready to shoot any minute, he quickly turned to his paperwork diligently, still with the pale color on his face.

Once I fired and released the bullet, it hit the wall directly. It was inches away from Mustang's head.

"Oh. Good morning, lieutenant, I didn't see you there. You'd have to pay for damaging the wall," he said with his usual unfathomable expression. I couldn't tell whether he was angry or in a good mood. I proceeded to my desk, pulled out the chair and sat on it. My eyes wandered around the office, something caught my eye--a mountain of chocolates and roses sat on the floor beside the flame alchemist's desk.

"Colonel,"

"Yes, my dear lieutenant?" Apparently, he's in a good mood...

I continued speaking, "I was just wondering, if I were your damsel in distress or hero?"

My superior threw me a questioning look as if the answer was obvious. "Hero, obviously."
"You're my aide, of course you're my hero."

"—then that would make you…"

"Damsel in distress?" he finished my sentence for me. I could see my co-officers holding their laughter. "I suppose…"

"More like colonel in distress!" Havoc blurted, unable to hold their laughter, they laughed heartily.

"Havoc, get back to work." Roy ordered the mischievous second lieutenant.

"—I'm sorry, sir, it's just that people would confuse me as the damsel in distress and I cannot agree with that."

"My fan girls, you mean. They're just envious because you get to be with me the whole day. But still among all ladies I picked you as my aide. Don't let that get to you."

"Yes, sir."

"And also, I have to go to the meeting now, please take care of the boys,"

"As you wish."

"And Hawkeye. Men are heroes in most stories, but this one is entirely different, I'm the damsel in distress and you're my knight and shining armor, that's not going to be a problem is it?"

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LMAO.

This came out of nowhere. I just kept nodding, smiling and laughing throughout the whole process of writing this fic. Hope you enjoyed it!

Regina