The Trials andTribulations of Gohma
On this particular day Gohma was bored. Really, really bored. There was nothing to do until the hero arrived, and her children were off at school, so she was left to her own devices. In exasperation she went to see what was in her pantry, thinking of perhaps trying her hand at some baking.
She was shocked, and a bit irritated, to see that the pantry was completely empty except for a huge collection of some wonky webs her children had left her, and a ragged bag on the far back of the shelf. Curious, she pulled it forward to check it and found an intact bag of sugar. Surely she could come up with something to use the sugar for to pass the time.
Several hours later…
Gohma was racing around the room at top speeds, anxiously burning her now huge supply of energy. Faster, faster, faster, her body was exploding with power and she did an impressive quadruple flip in the center of the room. As she ran she sang at the top of her lungs.
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes." Around and around the song went, with no real end in sight. Soon the obnoxious sound was echoing throughout the entire Deku Tree and all the small creatures inhabiting the Tree were curled up in the corners of the rooms, rocking back and forth with their hands, claws, or leaves pressed tightly against their ears.
As the agony reached it's high point a single human wandered into the Tree. Curious, the man continued looking around, somehow having mistaken it for a museum of the forest's history.
The creatures stared at the being, temporarily stunned enough to ignore the song. The man was of middle height, with an impressive beer belly growing under a truly horrific tropical shirt. The colors of the shirt clashed obnoxiously with the pea green shorts he wore. Below were a set of pure white sneakers and a pair of bright red socks pulled up almost to his knees. Around his neck hung a large camera that he frequently raised to his eye to snap a picture.
Word spread through the Tree as the astonishing sight of the Tourist gave temporary relief from the annoying sounds still echoing. No one like him had every been seen in Hyrule.
The Tourist stopped at a large door. He was extremely confused with the layout of the museum and was hesitant to try the door. There was, however, nowhere else left to go so he took a breath and pulled.
It swung open with a creak, and immediately the sound of horrendous singing blared out.
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes." Curious, he wandered into the dark room, and stopped when the door swung shut behind him.
Click. Click. Click. There was something in the room with him. Tourist froze in terror. Drip. Drip. Something liquid hit the ground in front of him, prompting his to slowly look up. A nightmare image greeted him and he couldn't move.
Carefully Gohma lowered herself from the ceiling, eyeing her new distraction with glee. The sugar was all gone, she needed something to replace it. Drool dripped from the corner of her mouth without her noticing.
There was nothing else to do. Tourist stared at that horrifying monster. Moving in slow-motion (since his body was still mostly frozen in terror) he raised the camera to his eye, focusing, and snapped a picture. Maybe someday someone would find it and know what had happened to him.
Flash! Startled Gohma yanked back, temporarily blinded with the bright light from the camera. Then her sugar-crazed brain caught up with her.
"Shiny!" she screamed, ripping the camera out of Tourists hands. She twisted it around in her hands for a moment before the flash went off again. Screaming and chortling in delight she sank to the ground, thoroughly amused with her new toy. The Tourist was not so pleased. Getting killed by a monster was one thing, his camera being stolen was quite another.
"That is a two hundred dollar camera!" he yelled, prepared to do battle. Gohma looked up in surprise, having completely forgotten his existence. Rolling up his sleeves Tourist took a flying leap and got a good grip on the camera.
"NO! Shiny!" Gohma yelled. "Mine, mine, mine!"
"This…is…my…camera!" the man yelled in between grunts as he tried to free his precious camera. "Give…it…back!" Back and forth they rolled, both desperate to gain control of the camera.
We'll leave them to their battle. Now on to King Dodongo. Wonder what he's doing this time of day…