This is my attempt at being funny. I don't think it worked.
Alice...Edward...Bella...Jacob...Emmett...
Edward!
Alice!
Yay! You're getting into the spirit of things, FINALLY!
Alice!
Bella!
Sigh.
Sigh?
As in I just sighed. Didn't you see me?
No. I was too busy being dazzled by your gorgeous liquid topaz eyes.
How sweet.
Como, comes, come, comemos, comen...
That was so Spanish 1/2.
Can't you pick a not-so-depressing verb? I miss eating.
I guess that's why you ate that pizza at lunch today...
Not a smart move. I don't advise it.
I had the most delicious cheesecake yesterday...it was all creamy and chocolaty...and the crust was crunchy and graham-crackery...
How descriptive. But it was good. And that ice cream we ate with it...
Even better.
I love being human.
That was the last straw. Mr. Banner's walking over to see why Edward's kneeling down by his chair with his hands over his eyes whimpering.
He's having a panic attack.
You have an amazing skill of stating the obvious, Emmett.
Thanks!
Alice, I think that's my job. Excuse me.
What did do? Bella just slapped me!
I think we saw it. That just made my day.
You can stop laughing now.
Somehow I don't think Bella appreciates your gesture of stroking Edward's hair while whispering to him that everything's going to be alright and that you're never going to leave him very much.
It makes me sick to watch that.
Not you, too. That I cannot deal with.
I was actually kinda counting on Bella comforting me.
I wouldn't.
Bella, please refrain from doing that in front of civilized human beings.
Sure thing.
Agh. See how long it took me to recover? Bella my love don't ever do that to me again!! I can't take it!
Sure thing.
Cough.
Cough?
As in I just coughed. Didn't you see me?
I'm having a weird sense of deja vu right now...
I wonder why.
No seriously Alice. Vampires cough?
I'd never really thought of that...we better ask Carlisle.
Oh my god, Edward. I can't believe you asked Mr. Banner if you could call Carlisle in the middle of class.
I'm like his favorite student. It's ok. And anyways, it's an emergency. My mother's dying.
Really? Good.
Actually, dog, I was being sarcastic.
No duh.
I never actually thought you would realize. Dogs only have ten second memory spans, anyways.
Leeches have even less. I can squish one with my little finger and they won't even remember it--
Jeez! Guys. Don't you see Bella? She can't stand you arguing. She just wants you to...
Love each other as much as she loves you both.
Emmett. Look what you did. Edward's throwing up the pizza Bella made him eat at lunch today.
Don't flatter yourself, Jacob. But that is a disgusting thought. Love a WEREWOLF? And I'm not even...
Oms! you actually called me by my real name! But, EDWARD, are you sure about that? I mean, at least I don't stink.
You can't possibly be serious. If I was human, I'd be buying air freshener for whenever your around.
Vampires don't buy air freshener?
Only Alice. I have my dignity...
I couldn't hold in my curiosity. What's oms?
You know, it's like omg, but 's' instead of 'g'.
God doesn't start with s, dog. Maybe your memory IS failing, after all.
It's all this vampire hunting. It's getting to me.
Jacob...
Bella!
Jacob.
No, no, no. You are not going to say it--
Bella!!!!!!
Edward: 0, Jacob: 1.
So there.
Who's keeping score?
You guys are so fifth grade.
I'm 107, just to let you know. I've been to fifth grade...
Once.
Not even you're that stupid enough to fail THAT many times. And I have to admit it, you couldn't pass for ten.
Don't burst my bubble, Alice. Or you, dog.
JACOB!
Bella!
I am one hundred percent serious. You never told me what the 's' stood for.
Ohhhh...so THAT'S what you wanted.
I knew it wasn't going to be anything...deep.
That's right. If I need some deep thoughts, I go to you, Edward.
Sam.
Sam?
You asked. That's what the 's' stands for.
Seriously? I guess Edward's not the only one with the god-complex.
No, Doctor Fang has one too. And Sam doesn't have a god-complex.
Jacob has a Sam-is-a-god-complex.
How pathetic.
Well, he IS the alpha, Eddie-poo.
Please refrain from calling me that, Jakey-poo.
Hey, where's Jazzy-poo?
You just couldn't resist, could you, Alice? Hunting. And there's no need for the growl, Jacob.
Omg! Mr. Banner thought that was ME!
How disturbing.
You're supposed to say 'oms' not 'omg'!
I'm not a werewolf.
Bella!
Don't even THINK about becoming a filthy dog.
It does sound kinda cool, actually. I probably would want to give it a try if I could. Sadly, I have the wrong genes.
Only those?
Shut up, Emmett. And Edward, please don't. Mr. Banner's looking away, but for god-knows--sorry, Jake! but for Sam-knows-how-long.
Thanks.
I just couldn't stand the image of you as a werewolf! It's sickening.
Good.
But, Edward. You know I'd rather become a blood-sucking super-strong clumsy-no-more monster than the people who kill them, don't you?
Thank you. But, 'people'?
What do I look like to you, if not a person?
A dog.
Ha ha very funny.
Please don't start.