A/N: World of Tolkien and all its characters therein, not mine, etc., etc. What can I say about this story? I'm not sure where I'm going with this, other than the brink of insanity, but I needed a break from my other creation. Writing fanfiction, as I'm sure many of you know, has a twisted effect on the mind; a product of which this story has become. Enjoy. And if you do, send me a review. If you don't, send me a flame. Either way, I'm happy.

The Adventures of Bobby "the insane" Baggins

            Pink bunnies danced around him, laughing and merry-making to the rhythm of music that filled his pointed little hobbit ears. The colors were swirling and Bobby couldn't help but be caught up in the dance. It was one of his favorite pastimes, tap dancing with the elephants, and it always seemed to follow the bunnies. The commotion around him thrilled his senses. One of the happy flowers began to speak to him.

"Good morning Bobby. The sun is sure shining brightly today."

"Why yes it is my lovely friend," replied Bobby with a grin. "This is a special day for me. Do you know what today is, little flower?"

"Oh yes, Bobby. Today is the day that you burn this place down."

"That's right little flower. Today is the day."

"Today is the day. Today is the day. Burn the place down, Bobby. Burn the place down," sang the flower with all the other whimsical characters that had gathered there with him.

Nobody at the Hillside Hobbit House, the Shire's little known of asylum, knew exactly how the fire had started. All they knew was that their most disturbed patient had managed to escape their watchful eyes.

Bobby "the insane" Baggins, as they called him, had merely decided that he was tired of the Hobbit House. Always their eyes were watching, always, Bobby would tell himself time and again. Or rather the flower told him this. But now he had gained his freedom. He could do as he please, and all the world would be his. He had not felt this happy in a long time.

It wasn't that Bobby was a bad hobbit, he was just very creative and had an overactive imagination. At least that was what his uncle, Bilbo, had always told him when he was little. He had always loved his uncle Bilbo. But one day, Bilbo went away for a long time. Bobby needed no explanation; he knew the reason for his departure. It was to plot Bobby's death—and that wasn't very nice of Bilbo. Bilbo had to be punished.

But since Bilbo had not yet returned, Bobby decided to do the next best thing. He would have to make him pay through his cousin, Bilbo's beloved nephew, Frodo. Bobby was doing the town a favor. Frodo was, after all, an evil demon sent to destroy all mankind, though Bobby was the only one who knew this—the flower had told him. He had tried to burn him as he slept, but those stupid villagers put a stop to it. And they called him crazy!

That was when they imprisoned him. They were most ungrateful hobbits. He had tried to protect them; to save them! They were afraid of him, he could tell. They feared him because they knew he was 'The One.' He was their savior. His power was too great, so they imprisoned him. But they couldn't hold him. Nobody could.

But as we said before, Bobby was not an evil hobbit. He had decided he would show the town mercy for their crimes. He would leave the Shire to its own doomed fate and travel to the lands of wisdom where he would be welcomed as a king.

Bobby's adventure began with a stop at his uncle's home and a snatching of that precious ring he was always so careful to hide from everyone. Bobby liked the way it shined. Bobby was the one who should have it, not Bilbo. Bilbo was mean, deceitful, plotting. He placed it carefully in his pocket where no one else would see it and made his way into the great unknown. Just him, a ring, and his talking flower.

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"Is it safe?! Is it secret?!" Gandalf questioned desperately as he clutched Frodo.

"Of course," Frodo replied. "I have kept it hidden here in this envelope." Frodo proceeded to open it only to find that it was empty.

"I don't understand. I've kept it right here all this time. No one else knows about it." Frodo was quite distraught, but more so was Gandalf.

"Someone has taken it then," he murmured darkly. "Be that ring what I think it is, this does not bode well for the people of Middle Earth." Frodo sadly lowered his head at the wizard's words. "Frodo, is there anyone else who would have had access to the ring?"

"No one. No one except…" Frodo hesitated as if in thought.

"Except who?"

"My cousin Bobby has recently escaped from the Hillside Hobbit House."

"Not Bobby 'the insane' Baggins?" The wizard was horrified. He had heard many tales of this misguided miscreant.

"Yes. He has never liked me. I couldn't be sure, but a few nights ago I awoke to find him watching over me. I did not yet know of his escape and it had seemed as a dream to me. He must have taken the ring. With the exception of Bilbo, he was the only one who knew about it."

"Then we have but one course of action, Frodo. We must find this ill-tuned hobbit and recover the ring. For in his hands it may prove deadlier yet than all the forces of Mordor. Come Frodo, we have work to do."

"But Gandalf, why all this concern about a ring?"

"It's a long story, Frodo. I'll explain on the way."

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A/N: Now I ask you, what would M.E. be without its psychopathic hobbit ringbearer? What new devilry is this and what new chaos will it bring to our beloved characters? Penny for your thoughts.