So, lately, I've been finding various fics on my computer that I wrote years ago that, for one reason or another, I never decided to post. I probably held onto this one cuz I wasn't terribly impressed with it, but what the hell? May as well send it out into the fanfic world.

Slight Barkua/Ryou

Disclaimer: Nothing I use belongs to me.

Bakura's POV:

Ok, before I get on with this little story I'm about to tell you, you have to understand one thing. You need to understand about me and Ryou. Our roles basically go like this:

I get bored on a Saturday afternoon...

I come up with some sadistic plan to wreak havoc on the mortals around town...

Ryou comes in at some point and saves my ass from imprisonment... or more or less likely, saves some idiotic cop from an eternity in the Shadow Realm...

Ryou and I go home with Ryou being all pissed off and such...

I congratulate myself on being able to make the usually calm boy so upset...

We don't speak to each other for a few days...

Another Saturday rolls around...

And the process repeats itself...

That's how it goes... or that's how it's supposed to go at any rate...

Right now, I wasn't quite sure what had happened, but it hadn't followed the damn schedule that I have just nicely laid out for you; that I can be most certain of.

Maybe I should start from the beginning. Well, not the beginning beginning. I'm not trying to write a frikin' novel here; I just want to get my point across.

It had, as usual, been another boring, uneventful day at home. Although, in the morning, Ryou had mildly electrocuted himself with the toaster, (compliments of yours truly), which I had to admit was great fun. But, come on. Like that, alone, would satisfy me for the weekend. So I came up with the ingenious plan to steal a python from the local zoo, let it loose in the grocery store, then jack all the security tapes after the mayhem was over so I could go home and enjoy each and every person's pathetic reaction to its fullest potential. Yeah... it was gonna be great.

My plan, of course, went off without a hitch. I got the snake from the zoo, with Marik's help, and set it loose in the store. And, no, I will not tell you how we managed to get a python all the way from the zoo to the store. It would just put ideas in your head, and I'm not about to be outdone once these ideas start to sink into your pathetic brain. So, mind your own damn business and just listen to the rest of the story.

The reactions were better than I could have hoped for. I'm telling you, never underestimate the amount of amusement you can derive from panic-stricken mortals.

I even managed to get the tapes before Ryou showed up on the scene. He arrived just as I was calmly making my way through the throng of police and animal restraint cars that had pulled up. He was not looking too happy either. I guess that he had seen one of those annoying news bulletins that pop up whenever something happens, (usually interrupting all my shows), and figured that the only person who would be insane enough to pull a stunt like that was his one and only yami - Me!

Then of course, there's always that one greasy, obese cop, whom I shall refer to as Officer Chubs, since I have no idea what his real name is, nor do I really care in the least. Anyway, Officer Chubs, being the freakin' rocket scientist that he is, decided that I looked a little too calm, walking away from something like that. So, he stopped me, which annoyed me a great deal. And trust me, had his flab not been blocking my path, I would have merely shoved him to the ground and kept walking.

Ryou jumped in at the start of the questioning. He made up some very creative story about me being his emotionally stunted brother, due to some medical condition crap that I didn't understand a word of, and how I couldn't fully grasp the danger in the situation. I had to hand it to him. It was a pretty convincing story. And he was getting better at lying. He used to be so horrible at it. Actually, he still is, when I'm making him answer a question. But when he has to step in to save someone's life - mainly Officer Chubs in this situation since I could blast his sorry, fat ass to the Shadow Realm in a second - he's actually a pretty good actor. Not like I'd ever tell him that though...

So, anyway, after we got away from the grocery store and were walking home, I chanced a glance at Ryou.

He was pissed.

As usual.

But this time, it seemed to be a little different. He seemed more angry than he usually did when he had to come and sort out my damage. Usually, he'd be mad... but that anger would diminish a bit as he reasoned with himself that at least not too many people had gotten hurt.

And this time, he should've been especially grateful! No one got hurt! Sure, it scared the poor bastards, but nobody got injured except for maybe a twisted ankle as they were trying to run away.

But for some reason, he wasn't in his usual look-at-the-bright-side mood. And to tell you the truth, it sorta scared me.

Now, don't get me wrong! It's not like I was gonna start cowering before my hikari! I wasn't a weakling! However, I was almost afraid to do my usual gloating and mocking that I traditionally did after each successful Saturday Chaos Session. I mean, the guy was pretty scary!

I know most people would think that it would be impossible for innocent, little Ryou to look murderous, but let me tell you, they would be WRONG! I mean, after all... he is my other half. We may look slightly different, but the potential for evil looks on Ryou is still there if he decides to use it correctly. Which he was currently doing... Not to my extent of course, but pretty damn close. I was almost impressed.

I was just about to ask what the hell was up with him today when things started getting really weird. I'm talking late night sci-fi shit weird. I'm talking seeing Kaiba running down the street in a speedo waving sparklers and singing the Barney song weird... ok, maybe not that weird... or disturbing... but still... pretty damn weird.

For at that moment, my hikari stopped right where he was and began laughing. Laughing! Right in the middle of the sidewalk!

Now, it's not like it was a life-threatening problem or anything; the guy is entitled to laugh if he wants to. It's not illegal. It just seemed odd... extremely odd, that he would choose this particular time to have a giggle fit.

And then as the moments passed, he didn't stop. He just kept going! And getting louder... until before I knew it, my hikari was doubled over on the sidewalk... laughing. Just... LAUGHING! Like someone had told him the funniest fucking joke on the planet! And instead of me standing there, looking triumphant at my latest cacophony, I was standing there looking confused. I did not like being confused.

What was going on? Shouldn't he be royally pissed that I just put about 100 innocent people at risk of being eaten by a snake? Wasn't he, just a few moments ago, royally pissed that I just put about 100 innocent people at risk of being eaten by a snake?

What had happened to that murderous aura; that mess-with-me-right-now-and-I'll-kill-you look that had been plastered on his face? It was gone. It was all gone! And he was simply kneeling on the sidewalk, in hysterics.

And I mean, true hysterics. It wasn't a sad laugh or a bitter laugh or even an evil laugh. The kid was just full out LAUGHING! It was a laugh filled with joy and humor... the kind you get when you see your best friend do something really stupid and then the both of you just sit there and laugh like maniacs. Not that I would really know what that's like, seeing as I don't actually have a best friend, but I've watched enough TV sitcoms to know a few things.

What I didn't know right now, was what was, apparently, so funny. Normally, people don't just laugh themselves to tears in the middle of the sidewalk out of nowhere. Especially if they're supposed to be mad about something.

Maybe Ryou had cracked. It was the only solution I could think of. I had finally pushed the poor kid past the breaking point of his tolerance for me. Yep. He was gonna end up in one of those funny farm places and weave baskets for a living while the men in white coats gave him pills day in and day out. Don't contradict me! I've heard the song; I know what goes on in those places!

As his laughter started to die down the slightest bit and he began pushing himself to his feet again, I finally decided to try to speak to my crazy hikari. "...Ryou...?"

Ok, it wasn't much. But at least he knew that I wanted to make verbal contact with him.

Upon hearing his name, he turned toward me. His cheeks were tear-streaked and he still had the biggest smile I had ever seen covering his face. He looked like one of those giant smiley stickers... Always hated those things... "Yes, Bakura?" he managed to choke out while taking deep breaths to regain his lost oxygen.

"What is so funny?" I demanded.

Ryou wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his jacket, taking his final deep breath. "Nothing, Bakura... It's nothing at all..." He smiled at me once more before continuing the walk home.

I stared after him, partly in shock. Ryou never avoided my questions. He knew that it wasn't wise not to tell me what I wanted to know. And if he did try to dodge a question, he would get all darty-eyed and fidgety. He would never just smile and walk away like it was nothing.

Yep. He had finally snapped.

So, that was pretty much what happened. I was now sitting on the couch in the living room, debating whether I should try to talk to my mood-swinging hikari again, or if I should just leave well-enough alone.

He was currently in the kitchen making a snack, humming away like frikin' Snow White or something. I guess I should be grateful that he isn't sulking around, refusing to cook for me, and occasionally attempting to throw a small object at my head. He would never be stupid enough to throw a large object at me. He probably thinks I would kill him... which I most likely would.

Before I could get up and approach him in the kitchen, he practically skipped into the living room, a bowl of popcorn in his hands. The popcorn, of course, was overflowing with a bunch of added butter and salt. My hikari was going to have a heart attack very early in life if he kept eating like that.

Without missing a beat, he plopped down right next to me and offered me the bowl. I gingerly took a kernel that looked as if it didn't have too much crap on it and popped it in my mouth. I was just about to ask him about his weird behavior again, when he spoke up.

"Hey, what're those?" He tapped his foot against the security videos that I took from the store. I hadn't gotten around to watching them yet. I didn't particularly want to watch them with Ryou around for fear that the reminder would cause him to resort back to his usual post-chaos mood.

But I decided to answer truthfully. If I told him to fuck off and mind his own business, he would probably assume it was porno and begin whacking me with a pillow and lecturing me like he always did when he thought that I had porno tapes. "They're the security tapes from the grocery store," I responded honestly.

Ryou looked curious. "Why do you have them? Oh, right," he answered his own question. "So nobody could watch the tapes and find out you were the one to bring the snake in."

"Ye- yeah," I stuttered. Actually, I hadn't thought a bit about that. I merely wanted them so I could watch the mortals freak out. But it's not like he needed to know that... right? "I also took them so I could watch the mortals when they panicked. I couldn't see all their reactions at once, so I decided to take the tapes and watch them over and over again."

I have no idea what possessed me to admit the last part. Maybe I just wanted to see what reaction I would get out of Ryou for it. I wanted to see if he would go back to normal and accuse me of being a deranged psychopath, or if his cheerful mood would stick through my confession. I was actually hoping for the first. His constant nothing-gets-to-me attitude was really creeping me out.

He merely gave me a blank look as if he didn't quite know how to respond to that.

I smirked. He was finally returning to normal. "I'm going to watch the tapes over and over again and laugh at the pathetic mortals' reactions to the python... which I let loose in the grocery store... this afternoon..."

Ok, that HAD to get a normal reaction out of him!

Instead he blinked a couple times, then cracked into a smile. I almost wanted to smack him for confusing me so much! But I held back. What had him so happy now?

He turned to the TV and grabbed another handful of popcorn. "Pop one in."

Did he just say what I think he just said? Pause... Rewind... Play... Holy shit, he did! I could only stare at him in surprise.

Seeing that he wasn't getting any reaction, Ryou turned back to me. "You ok, Bakura?"

I blinked and nodded my head slowly. "Yeah... I'm fine..."

"Ok, great! So, pop one in." He turned back to the TV.

I watched him for a second longer. He was really serious!

Slowly but surely, I smirked.

I guess I was rubbing off on Ryou after all.

I got up and pushed one of the tapes into the VCR. As we watched the first few people scream in terror, I looked over at Ryou and was amazed to find him actually chuckling at the sight on the screen.

Yeah, I was a really bad influence.

I smirked and turned my attention back to the screen.

I think I may actually be starting to like my hikari.

Boop, there it is. Don't even remember, after all this time, what possessed me to write this, but it's kinda cute - I guess lol

DixieGoddess