A Jester of Love
A night so fresh , so young and mild
The stars' cool light is shining bright
Onto the castle's sacred roofs
To brace the Kingdom's valiant roots
Bang
A smile crossed his face by the distant sound of a heavy hammer forming fervent iron.
His fingers smoothly stoke the strings of his lute, educed a few more wonderful harmonic tones of it.
The moon upon a cloudless sky
Looks down on earth with sulky eyes
And every tear of his so sheer
Reflects like gleam of metal spears
Bang
A few dark blond strands hung over his light grey eyes, when the boy tilted his head slightly down. The little bells on his blue hat jingled softly to the melody.
The silence of a heart cries out
Stabbed by sharp clings of fear and doubt
And every day of lying about
Leaving behind a sore fool of love
"You happen to only sing such sad songs lately."
The soft voice of the blacksmith sent down a sudden shiver the blond boy's neck. A quiet jingling was heard from the bells, as the blue clothed boy yanked his head up.
Jethro's son, the blacksmith – simply called Smithy – stood right in front of him, holding his hammer with which he had just worked still in his right hand.
"Well… it happened nothing funny to sing about lately… beside that, love ballades always appeal well, don't they…?" A quick, false smile flitted across his face, but faded way too soon, to believe it. Also his eyes wandered away from the tall, blonde boy opposite him, back to the lute he was holding.
It was not a long pause of words that came over them, but long enough to clearly reveal that something was not alright with the lively fool. Unwantedly he snapped out of his trance, as he suddenly felt somebody sit down next to him and laying a strong arm around his shoulders.
"Come on Jester. Tell me what bothers you."
With an inaudible sigh the smaller boy lightly leaned his head against Smithy's shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment.
It was his voice. His smell. His sight. His presence or only the knowledge of his presence that occupied Jesters mind. And not only his mind - a lot more his heart. And the miserable fate of never telling him the truth about it was ripping the dark blond apart from inside.
He couldn't. He just couldn't tell him. He mustn't! What would his friends think of him? What would the King think? .. What would Smithy think…? He couldn't do that…
For all others sake.
"Is it because of Jane?"
Now it was almost a laughter falling from Jesters lips. How could he think that?
"No, it is not", the boy raised his head from the blonde's shoulder and did his blue cap, "we are over this, I told you. Almost two years now. She is nothing than a really good friend to me and so am I to her. And that is all we are and what I want to be."
The blacksmith now also turned his gaze away from the smaller boy und nodded in silence. His arm still remaining around Jesters shoulders, letting the quietness seem not as awkward as before.
Somewhere in the distance was heard the complaining of Dragon, how stupid all the short living creatures are. Apparently he had a row with Gunther or Jane again. But the flying reptile never got really cross with anyone.
It must have been strange to sit here on the battlements of the castle wall and really getting to hear those far and rather faint voices. Especially in company with Jester, who normally always has to say, sing or rhyme something.
"So… what is it then?" Smithy drew back his attention to the Jingle-Bell next to him, who let out a long sigh and shook his head in denial. "It's nothing. Nothing... that matters…"
But now it was the taller boy, who breathed out hearable and fixed his friend with a serious look. "You're not joking, you're not laughing, you don't even speak as much as before. If you smile your smile is fake or sad. Even the compositions you have to do for the King are incredibly mournful or forced happy. Don't tell me there would be nothing!"
Jesters gazed stayed deep down on his feet and wandered only deeper the more Smithy told him. He was right. He was a bad lair, but what should he do about it? Tell the truth? Impossible…
A sudden grip around his lute was waking the dark blonde's attention and as soon as he could look, the blacksmith had griped his instrument and put it carefully down right beside him. The next actions happened so fast, that Jester could only recall it halfway. He suddenly felt two strong hands around his waist, turning him partly around and pulling him up onto Smithys' lap. A moment long too dumbfounded, Jester wrapped his arms around the blonde boy's neck and held onto him until his mind had caught up with what had just happened.
And there they sat. On top of each other, Jester's legs spread around Smithy and dangled down on the other side of the castle wall. The dark blonde's head softly rested against the blacksmith's shoulder.
"Why won't you tell me, Jester…?", his fingers slid carefully under the blue cap into the jester's silky hair. A slight gasp escaped the dark blonde's lips. His hands briefly clung tighter to Smithy's white shirt. He must be dreaming... this... this couldn't be real! He must have fallen asleep on the battlements and dream all this! Yes! … He should wake up, before he fell down! But the sensation of the taller boy's breaths, his fingers in his hair and the incredibly pleasant heat his body radiated proofed him different. Slowly Jester relaxed in Smithy's arms, wrapping his own once tighter around the blacksmith's neck and snuggled his slightly blushed face against the taller boy's collarbone.
"It is just… not as easy as I wish it would be…", the dark blonde's voice was not more than a whisper, just about as clearly enough to understand.
It was odd. It just seemed so perfect. Just as… as if there was a chance to think Smithy would understand – yes, maybe even share what he feels for him. But that was so absurd. Such a dangerous thought which only would end in disappointment and despair.
Even if it didn't, what should they do? They wouldn't be able to tell anybody, would they? Would the others understand or tolerate it? Maybe they would be made fun of. Maybe the two would be fired and chased away and – no… it just wasn't meant to be. He could not endanger Smithy's existence here on the court.
The moon still stood high in the sky, surrounded by plenty of little twinkling stars that all seemed to simper their everlasting smiles, commiserating all beings living on earth.
A long time passed where the boys simply remained closely embraced with no one saying a word. Enjoying the silence and the never ending moment.
"I liked your song… even though it was sad", the blacksmith's soft voice near Jesters ear cut the quietness but still in a very low tone. "I just don't want you to be unhappy…"
A warm smile crossed Jester's lips, which were still kind of hustled to Smithy's collarbone.
"Right now I am happy…", the dark blond whispered back and closed his eyes. Also the taller boy rested his head now carefully on Jester's.
Even if the cruel reality forces people to adjust to certain rules - it can not take away those precious moments when they are secretly broken.