Three things first.
One, there are many theories as to exactly why Hiei was acting like a homicidal maniac during the first part of the series. This is my take.
Second, this, in a way, is also answer to 25thchromosome's request of a story delving more into the betrayal of Kurama during the three treasures arc. But that was just one of the betrayals that will happen in this story. There will be a total of five.
Lastly, this is also an exposition of number 3 in The Art of Losing A Fox. Though this can stand on its own, I recommend reading that ficcie first. It's just a one shot and you can finish it in a couple of minutes, so be patient and do it. Click on my profile and look for it under my stories.
Disclaimer: When I get rich, I'll buy the rights to YYH. But right now, I just own and nurse a 10-year old heartache.
Warnings: Homosexual content aka YAOI, shonen-ai, BL, however you want to call it. Stop now if you don't like it.
The Fundamentals of Us
It was a sunny and otherwise normal afternoon when I realized that even without telling him, Hiei knew something was wrong. He understood me in that way, like a bird a flower. It was not because of the jagan, nor of the lingering stress of the silences before I answered his questions; we've learned to trust each other deeper than the absence of words and the fullness of stares, after all. In fact, the combination of my absence at hours that I should be in my room, and the wilting of the blood roses I always kept at my bedside, were barely clues. Those could be easily explained by distraction.
What gave away my state of desperation was more simple, and its simplicity, more incriminating.
Closing the door with a soil-cracked shoe behind me, I settled my school-fed thinning body on the foot of the bed for a while, the sky streaming through my window convincing me despite guilt to linger for a little while before I, once again, confine myself in starched walls. I closed my eyes and faced the warmth, a sunflower trying to overcome withering, hoping to store energy that would last through a night of holding her hair while she retched and tried to smile through all the pain.
I must have dozed off; instead of detecting his ki like the trained youkai I was, the only sign I got of his presence was the sudden eclipse and the absence of warmth, replaced by a sudden blast of heat; for a brief moment I was reminded of Shiori's blow dryer. I knew then that when I open my eyes, I'll be faced with a look hotter than any sun, eyes flaming more than hell's furnace.
"You've been busy," he said, accusation in the tone.
"Something came up. It's no big deal," I lied, looking at him directly and unblinking.
"We can't afford distractions right now, fox."
I sighed and realized that to keep him cool, I needed to dance with his flames.
"Come, let's go to your tree," I smiled, holding his scarf and drawing him closer for a quick kiss.
"Why?" He was unfooled. But I ploughed on.
"I miss you. Stay with me while I do homework?"
"Hn," he said, eyeing me indiscreetly. But he jumped out the window and met me downstairs, and we walked side by side in a slightly more comfortable silence.
"Come down!" the school boy said, smiling as he threw a stone up at a demon resting atop a tree.
After a blink he was in front of him, dark apparition malignant enough to give a lifetime of nightmares, eyeing the redhead in disgust that the child knew well enough to interpret as affection.
"How many times have I told you, ningen, to stop pecking me with pebbles!"
There was soft, insolent giggling as a response. "I have great news," the child said, nearing the tree and sitting cross-legged at the root of it. The apparition followed his lead, despite himself, and sat at the other side of the thick trunk.
"Well?" he said, impatient.
"Well…" the boy lingered, deliberately teasing. "I've found a way."
"I'm listening."
"Remember the legend of the three Reikai treasures?"
"Ghostslayer, Mirror of Utter Dark, and Ruffian's Sphere. Useless artifacts that give Reikai an illusion of power," the demon snorted, clearly unimpressed.
"Perfect," the boy exclaimed. "Great you know them, will come in handy when we steal them."
"Why do I get the feeling you're keeping something from me?"
I didn't look up, scared that my jellied resolve would make me fail in facing his question's little truth. The nights… they take more from me than what I can give. I was a candle besieged in a storm, flickering and trying his best. But the days are not enough. I am not enough.
"How awful of you to assume things about me after we've spent sleepless nights perfecting this plan," I said instead, betraying honesty quite expertly and continuing to browse through a book as I sat below his tree. Our tree.
"I'm not assuming. I'm asking you."
I sighed again, knowing that this will never end until I gave him an answer. But wasn't assurance all he needed? At this point, when we were so near the day, all he must care about was being sure that I was still on board. That I was still going to do this.
"All you have to do is trust me," I said with a softer voice. "I'll get us those treasures."
"Tsk. I have no doubt about that. It's what you're going to do after I'm worried about."
"I won't stop you," I said, absently flipping another page. I looked up at the sun; good, it hasn't set yet, I still had time before my shift at the hospital. "You may do anything you please with your sword. But all I ask is you won't stop me or what I do with the mirror either."
I paused and tensed; that last statement gave away more than it should.
It was then that I felt Hiei's jagan opening, trying to understand the meaning behind my lies.
I leapt up to the branch he was sitting on, balanced to sit with legs dangling on either side so I was directly in front of him and his glowing forehead. I hated to do this, but it was the only way to stop him.
I put my hands up in front of Hiei, showing him the ink stains of my palm.
"Please don't," I said with a sad smile.
"You need to tell me your weaknesses so I can protect you from them."
"This is not the time," he growled, looking back at the teen annoyedly. They were at a clearing in the forest park, gathered around a Reikai map, learning each and every nook and mastering navigating even with their eyes closed. The small demon was a little peeved- this was pointless exercise, he insisted quite audibly, as most of the passages they were memorizing weren't even part of their route on the way to steal the treasures. He was also frustrated – the teen, and mastermind of this heist, set the big day ten years from when he first broke the plan, which would then be five years from this moment.
They were technically halfway there. But the length of preparation, a habit and a second in the thief's centuries-old lifetime, started to strain on the demon. If that wasn't bad enough, the teen insisted on digging up his weaknesses, a clear sign of distrust in the demon's own capabilities.
'This is not the time' has been repeated over and over throughout the years. It was a clear message.' Now was not the time, and there will never be a time.'
"Kaasan, don't worry, I'm holding you. You can let go," I whisper into her ear. We were at her hospital bed and I was holding a basin in front of her while holding her hair. She glanced at me with a look that was exhausted, thankful and apologetic all at the same time as she dipped her head and threw up the remains of what little dinner she had. This was a daily ritual we had, but somehow it never made things easier. The cancer had reached her stomach and was slowly wrecking havoc there, right after it was finished with her intestines.
A soft sigh told me she was finished. I wiped her mouth with a towel and proceeded to the bathroom to clean up the basin. When I reentered the room, she was already asleep. I settled myself at the couch that has been my bed for a while now, and curled up to hug myself.
To this day, I haven't made up my mind. I was going to continue with the plan, not knowing if in the end, I'll ever be strong enough to execute the last step. To live, love is the only thing I'd need. From Shiori and from Hiei, in that order. I hope he'd understand. Someday, that understanding can turn into forgiveness. I'd be happy with that. But for now, the decision has been made.
Funny, I could almost see what would become of us after this. We would remain partners, they'd make sure of that. Perhaps even more, given our body's needs. But he would never trust me again. And that will hurt me, most of all. There was no doubt as to how this would change us, even scarier would be how we might never recover. I could always put back together the shattered pieces in some deceitful fashion, but the cracks would always be there. And looking into his guarded eyes would always remind me of it.
But for now, for her… it was worth it. And this thought, this thought would be the one who would give me courage to execute the final step.
He held the teen and made love to him gently, almost in adoration, like he was making love to a certain deity. After they finished, they lay down on the teen's bed, exhausted, the boy curled into a contented pose in preparation for sleep, while the demon lay stiff and seemingly unfinished.
The boy had given himself fully to him. Without demanding for anything in exchange, without leaving doubts to his loyalty, without a flicker of hesitation in shedding his layers. What could he give in exchange?
"The jagan is powerful, seeing through the most powerful of youkai," he began in a low voice. The teen opened his eyes gingerly and looked at the demon to show he was listening. "But in the end, it's still an eye, and its biggest weakness is if its sight is blocked with something I cannot burn through. The simplest way would be any type of colored liquid."
He paused, suddenly regretful he had opened himself to such vulnerability.
But he was reassured. "Thank you," the teen whispered, caressing his face. "I will forever protect you from your weakness. I swear it."
To be continued. I'll post the second (and last) chapter in a few days, just cleaning it up. In the meantime, do leave your reviews to remind me why I do this lol