The Ballad of Jill
Chapter 1: introducing Jill
Now… you all know about Bill, the incredibly Brave, heroically amazing Shinobi who gave his life to save Hinata while fighting against the Juubi, but what what most people DON'T know, was that he had a cousin….
A special cousin…named….Jill…
Yes…Bill and Jill … their family wasn't that good with names…
They had been reminded of that for most of their childhood…
Now…Bill and Jill were rather similar….both were brave selfless souls, however Jill took the "souls" part a little far…
See… Jill wasn't just a normal Shinobi like Bill….no, she was something far, far greater….
...not that Bill wasn't great, far from it…but Jill, well…
She was…Unique…
Unique as in, well… she was dead…ish…
You see, Jill was a Shinigami….no not like the one from the Reaper death seal, that was just a unique Vasto Lorde class hollow that had a special agreement made with the other Shinigami (don't kill and eat people unless they summon you)
As soon as she had died (falling down the stairs is a horrible way to go, especially for a shinobi), she had taken one look at her sobbing cousin (who was about 9 at the time), and had resolved to protect him from harm.
So for a time, Jill acted as Bills guardian angel….right up until the Gotei 13 (who were very important and powerful Shinigami) calmly told her to knock it off…."the dead should not interfere in the goings on of the living" they said.
Right before Jill punched one of them in the face (she didn't like the guys hat anyway)…
She then went off at them about how her "precious baby cousin couldn't look after himself, and how it was horrible of the Gotei to do this to them", nonstop for about 5 minutes….after which they gave her a special wrist band to help her be seen by the living, (the creepy guy with the ugly hat made it, and Jill swore that it was looking at her somehow) and unceremoniously kicked her out of the Senkamon (a Shinigami portal technique) in front of her Cousin, literally…
And thus she helped Bill on the path to becoming an incredibly strong shinobi…
Except she took a wrong turn, and led him down the path to becoming a fodder shinobi instead (they really should put signs up, who knows how many people made that same mistake)
So that's how Bill became a fodder class Shinobi... just like how Jill is a Fodder class Shinigami (yes, she took the same wrong turn back then as well)
She knew that… Bill knew that… but they Said that if they were to be fodder class, then they would be the best Fodder class Shinobi and Shinigami they could be…
And then the Fourth Shinobi war happened….
And, since it was Jill's Job (sure she didn't get payed much, but the alcohol was cheap anyway) to guide souls to the afterlife, well… she had her hands full…
Which is why when she saw the souls of his Cousins wife and children she had enough…
Quickly guiding them through a senkamon, she surveyed the damage…
The entire Shinobi Hq was gone….
Miraculously Bills Wife and children was JUST at the edge of the blast zone…
Sure, they were missing the entire lower half of their body (his wife was even missing an arm)
But they were still there….
Granted their reactions to seeing their bodies wasn't that great (she would be washing her clothes for a week to get the smell of vomit out of them)
But they still slid into what was left without much of a fuss…
Now… you are all probably wondering how she would go about bringing them back to life?
Simple… she stole some things from Mayuri…
Those insta grow syringes really were useful… and those taser things could probably re start a heart…
Granted, Mayuri would be rather…upset…if he found out…but what are the chances of that happening?
Applying the serum to the bodies, Jill watched as their body started to regrow….
Unfortunately…their clothes didn't grow with them…
Averting her eyes from Bills children (they were children after all… that would be wrong), and, after a few seconds, his wife… (Hey, she was hot, nobody would blame her if he took a little while longer to turn away)
She quickly tore the sleeves of her uniform and handed them to Bill's wife, who managed to fashion them into some sort if mini skirt for herself, and underwear for the children (hey, have you seen the size of those things?)
Once they were dressed and able to move properly in their bodies, she bid them adieu, and went back through the Senkamon.
Only to come face to face with a certain captain of the Eleventh division….
"So… you think you can steal my Hojiku-Zai (regeneration syrum) , without me finding out? how pathetic"
…yep… he was pissed…
"now, I wonder what you will do to make it up for me?"
"I know! I can get you transferred to my devision!"
"think of all the experiments we can do to you…"
Seeing the look on Mayrui's face it was official… Jill was doomed
Timeskip, a year later
Life in the 12th division wasn't that bad actually…
After she Konso'ed Bill (turns out reviving his family might not of been the best idea) she started work in the twelfth division immediately…
Truthfully, it was rather easy, and there was less chance of being eaten by hollows at any rate, all she really had to do was guard duty.
It even seems like Mayuri forgave her… he even gave her some sort of implant that was meant to…..well she wasn't really sure what it did…but it couldn't be that bad, right?
Now… she was on an important mission…some Ryoka had invaded…
Ah, they were…
….why is Mayuri holding that trigger?
And then Jill Blew up.
End.
A.N: Well….this was a thing….
Happy new year everyone…
And yes, the ending was from chapter 121 of bleach…
Poor Jill …
And yes, Jill was a lesbian, because why not?