Dean came back last night, storming out of his cabin like something had really thrown him off. Castiel couldn't read many human emotions but he knew Dean inside and out. Even in the new world of the apocalypse, he noticed whenever something was off with him. Tonight it was something much more than usual. He watched as Dean took off into the woods next to their camp. Castiel sighed as two voices raged inside his head.
He doesn't need you, one voice said, he made that clear years ago.
But look at him, the other argued, something isn't right and you know it.
What has he done for you recently? The first voice replied. Do you think he deserves it?
Yes, Voice 2 said, go and check on him. You won't sleep knowing you didn't even attempt to comfort him like you always used to.
With that, Voice 2 won and Castiel ran after him. He followed the line of chopped and run down trees to find Dean on his knees in the middle of the forest. Dean didn't appear to be crying but, as the fallen angel stepped closer, he was aware Dean was desperately trying not to.
"Dean?" Castiel whispered.
Immediately on his guard, Dean whipped around to face Castiel and then his face softened. It was like he was searching for the angel left in him but then his face fell knowing Castiel- his Cas- wasn't an angel anymore.
"Dean?" he repeated again. "You seem troubled."
Dean snorted in response. "Go and take a look in my cabin."
Castiel didn't want to leave him but he sighed anyway and turned away, leaving the man in the woods by himself. On the walk back, he wasn't really sure what to think and as he approached Dean's cabin he suddenly felt nervous. What was in here? He took a breath and braced himself.
"Cas?"
He saw Dean handcuffed in his own cabin. The situation looked strange and then it hit him.
"Woah... You're not you," he said, looking at Dean up and down. "Who did this? What year are you from?"
"2009. Zachariah. He-"
"Sent you to the future to see what would happen if you didn't say yes to Michael." Castiel almost laughed as Dean nodded.
"Would you mind?" Dean asked, looking up at the handcuffs.
"I'll need the key," Cas said.
Dean frowned. "Can't you just use your angel mojo?"
Now Castiel laughed. "Dean, I'm not an angel anymore." He didn't miss the look of surprise that came across the hunter's face. "Give me a moment," he added, crossing over to the table and finding the keys.
Once Dean was unlocked he started to ask questions and Castiel found himself wishing that Dean was still like this now. He felt slightly cruel for thinking this but the look of innocence on his face (compared to the Dean he knew now) made Castiel want to cry. The ex angel wanted with all his heart to make Dean better and he had realised by looking at past Dean that he loved him more than ever. There was longing in Castiel that hadn't existed in a long time that had erupted.
"Dean," Castiel interrupted another question. "Stay here tonight. I will be around tomorrow. I need to attend to something."
No sooner had the last word left his mouth, he was barreling out of the cabin, down the stairs and into his own. There, he wished he could just break down and collapse but there was a new sight in front of him. Dean was sat on the edge of his bed. His jacket was tossed carelessly on the floor and his shoes were off. His empty green eyes stared at his hands and then he looked up and glanced at Castiel stood frozen in the doorway.
"I'm not going to bite, you know," he said quietly, his voice ready to break at any moment.
Castiel noticed he looked sad so he crossed over and sat down next to him, giving the hunter some distance. They hadn't sat with each other for a long time- probably over a year. When Dean had lost him brother to Lucifer, something had changed in him. He had become darker and now Castiel- dependent on drugs- had also changed. Everything felt broken and all it took for them to realise was a visit from past Dean. There was a heavy silence in the room that was only broken by Dean.
"I'm sorry, Cas."
Castiel's breath caught in his throat. He couldn't remember the last time Dean had called him that.
"I'm sorry for all of this. I wish I could go back and make it right. I really do. I hate what I've done. I hate what I've become. I shouted at him before. I told him to do the right thing. I told him to not let any of this happen. To not let anything happen to you. I'm so sorry for everything, Cas."
That was it. The hunter broke and tears fell down his cheeks. Years worth of suppressed emotions flooded out and all Castiel could do was put one arm around his shoulders and the other across his stomach and round his waist pulling him in. Dean's head rested in the crook of Castiel's neck and they lay together on the bed until finally Dean was relaxed. He pressed closer to Cas and hugged him.
"It's okay, Dean," Castiel replied. "I'll always be watching over you."
