Sometimes, I wonder if all of this is worth it.
I do love being a genius. Anti-Wanda has told me on many occasions that she finds my intellectual skill to be quite attractive, and I certainly am not opposed to that. She's my wife, after all, and anything she finds attractive in me is certainly not a thing I would resent.
Still, there is a price to pay for intelligence, and sometimes I honestly believe the price I have paid is far too great.
It is quite obvious from my appearance that my mind did not develop in an orthodox way. My eyes are green, unlike the typical red of a normal Anti-Fairy. No one really knows what went wrong with my melanin production, but I won't go into the whole thing. I don't like to think too much about it.
I hear them, you know. Telling me to do things. "You're horrible. Everyone hates you now. You've ruined everything." Sometimes, I believe them, too... they keep me company, but sometimes I wish it would all go away. It won't. The only way to escape it is to escape life itself...
But that would give them the satisfaction of getting exactly what they want.
Then again, I wouldn't be alive to see them taunt me. I would be dead, of course. There are many ways for me to die, and if I didn't know them before, I certainly do now. "Hang yourself. Slit your wrist now. You deserve it. You've ruined everything."
I wonder if they're right. Is everything lost? I personally hate the idea of it all burning away, but there's no use in dwelling on it.
I suppose I had better get some sleep... if I can. They never seem to be quiet. Chitter, chitter. Pick a little, talk a little, cheep cheep cheep and whatnot.
"You're an idiot. How could you say that? You should be dead."
"You've ruined everything."