In Which A Gnome Harasses the Author and her Muse... Again

L.A.: So, I know I am terrible and haven't updated any of my stories the entire summer. I am really sorry about that. I've just had a busy, crazy summer.

Amu: Excuses, excuses.

L.A.: Anyway, I hope to be able to update Rose Colored Glasses in the next week or two. Until then, enjoy this random plot bunny that I thought would never appear again.

Amu: Yay Simple Musings! The most random series in the world!

L.A.: If you haven't read the first two Simple Musings I suggest you do. This story is already crazy enough as it is. Seriously... I don't know where these come from.

Amu: Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I only own this crazy story and plot bunny that refuses to retire.

Lights aura or L.A. as most people called her, was busy typing on her laptop. The blond hair, blue-eyed girl was planning to have an epic summer this year. She even had a three-page list of all the goals she wanted to accomplish. Unfortunately it soon was almost the end of the summer; and, when she checked her list, she found that she hadn't accomplished any of those goals. So, she decided to take time out of being a procrastinator and focus on some of her goals namely writing stories.

As she sat there, enjoying the clicking of her laptop's keyboard, a loud roaring sound drew her attention. She looked up and was blinded by a flash of light.

When the spots in her vision cleared, she found herself in a familiar brightly colored field. A groan came from beside her. She turned and saw a blue wolf with amber colored eyes and a crescent moon mask over her right eye. It was her muse, Amu, and she looked pissed.

Turning to L.A., she said. "Are you freaking serious?"

Maniacal laughter caused them to look up. A miniature man with a pointed hat and beard to match floated before them. L.A. and Amu knew him well. It was Bartholomus. A gnome in denial who for some reason had a vendetta against L.A.

"Oh crap," L.A. said, "it's the gnome."

"I am not a gnome!" Bartholomus shouted. He took a deep breath. "I shouldn't have shouted like that. My therapist says I should learn to control my anger."

"You have a shrink?" Amu asked. "That's good. Have you come to apologize for all the nefarious deeds you committed?"

"No," Bartholomus said, "I've come for revenge."

L.A. and Amu stared at him in disbelief.

"I thought you were supposed to be controlling your anger," L.A. said.

"He said I should be channeling my anger into a creative outlet," Bartholomus said. "So, I used it to come up with a brilliant plan of revenge."

"You have a terrible therapist," Amu muttered.

L.A. silenced Amu with a look. "So, who are you going to kidnap now?" L.A. asked. "You've already kidnapped both of us. Are we supposed to take turns now?"

"I vote L.A.," Amu said. "She's already seen pictures of your naked butt. I don't want to be scarred yet."

"Excuse me?" L.A. clinched her fists. "I think you should be kidnapped. Last time you were kidnapped, all you did was run around town and sing Celine Dion."

"Oh, do shut up," Bartholomus said as he rubbed his temples. "You're giving me a headache."

"That's probably because we just blew your mind," Amu said. "We're just that epic."

There was an awkward pause.

"What?" L.A. said.

"Just go with it," Amu whispered. "You need to act more confident anyway."

"Enough," Bartholomus said. "I'm not kidnapping either one of you."

"You aren't?" L.A. said.

"Why not?" Amu whined.

"My therapist says I need to think outside the box," Bartholomus said as he snapped his fingers. A Mac laptop appeared in his hands. "That's why I'm stealing your laptop."

"You fiend," Amu said.

"My baby!" L.A. wailed. "Give me back my Macky."

"You named your Mac laptop Macky?" Amu said. "That's unoriginal."

"Yeah," Bartholomus said.

Amu's eyes narrowed. "Don't you dare agree with me, you monster."

"Gnome, monster," Bartholomus said, "you really need to quit calling me names. According to my therapist, people only use name calling to make them appear tougher."

"No, we're calling you that because you are a gnome and a monster," L.A. said. She held out her hands. "Now give me back my laptop and no one gets hurt."

"I don't have to put up with this." Bartholomus said. "If you ever want to see your laptop and your stories ever again then you have to come to my lair and save it." Bartholomus laughed manically. Mid-laugh, he stopped. "Oh by the way, my therapist said that I need a change in location so I moved my evil lair. Good luck." He laughed manically again as he disappeared.

L.A. and Amu stood there in utter shock.

"I hate him," L.A. said as she clinched her fists.

"I hate his therapist," Amu added.

L.A. sighed. She and Amu wandered aimlessly for a while before they finally entered the city. Even there though, they were still lost.

"So, I guess we're in the Yu Yu Hakusho world," L.A. said.

"I don't know," Amu said, "I don't recognize anything yet… Oh my god!"

"What?" L.A. said as she looked around frantically. "Did you see Bartholomus?"

"No look," Amu pointed to her left. "There's that fountain I sang Celine Dion at," Amu grinned. "Here, let me sing to you."

"Don't do it," L.A. yelled before covering her ears.

Amu jumped up onto the fountain. "I will always lo-" She stopped when she noticed a short man with spiked black hair and crimson eyes glaring at him. "Ah, Hiei's giving me his death glare. Somebody save me."

"Hiei?" L.A. said in surprise.

Hiei was there along with Kuwabara, Yusuke, and Kurama.

"I can't believe we finally get to meet the entire Yu Yu gang," Amu said. She narrowed her eyes as she scooted away from Hiei. "Except for you. I don't like you."

"Don't kill them, Hiei" Kurama said. "They're harmless…mostly."

"You know them?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yeah, we helped them when a stupid pathetic gnome kidnapped them," Yusuke said. "It really wasn't that hard of a mission."

"Kurama, Yusuke," L.A. said, "we need you're help. Bartholomus stole my laptop. I need help to get it back."

"A laptop?" Yusuke said. "No offense but it's just a laptop. You can get the police to help you with that."

"Uh-oh," Amu whispered as she slowly crept away from L.A.

Meanwhile L.A.'s face was bright red with a Hiei like glare to match. In two strides, she was in front of Yusuke. She grabbed his shirt. "Just a laptop? Just…a…laptop? Do you know what is on that laptop? My stories. And, do you know what stories are to a writer?" She got right into his face. "They're like babies. So, are you going to let that creepy gnome mess with my babies?"

Yusuke looked at the others with utter confusion.

"I don't know her," Amu muttered under her breath.

"We've got to help her Urameshi," Kuwabara said seriously. "They're babies involved."

"They're not babies." Yusuke winced when he felt L.A. tighten her grip. "Okay, okay, we'll help. Will you just let go of me?"

L.A. grinned sheepishly. "Sorry about that." She let go of him. "I promise I'm not this crazy normally. You guys keep seeing me on my off days."

"Anyway," Yusuke said as he straightened his shirt, "any ideas where he is?"

"Just a thought," Kurama said, "but he might be on that mountain over there."

He pointed off to the right to a mountain completely covered in fog.

"Why do you say that?" L.A. asked.

"That place never fogs up," Kuwabara said.

There was a pause.

"Wow," Amu said. "At least we know that even with a therapist, he's still a complete idiot."

"Are those…birds?" L.A. asked.

After trekking for an hour, they had finally reached the fog-covered mountain. They entered a cave near the top of the mountain and were greeted by an assortment of birds covering the ceiling.

Amu grinned as she cut her eyes up at L.A. "Oh, I love birds!"

L.A. grinned back. "Nod at the bird, people die," L.A. sang. "Everywhere people die… Oh wait, is that copyrighted?"

The others traded confused looks.

Amu shrugged. "I don't know but while we're at it…" Amu started hopping up and down. "I'm a bird motha f. I'm a bird! Look at me motha f. Look at me! Ah! Ah!"

"We are going to get sued," L.A. said.

"Shut up," Hiei said, "the birds…" He was cut off when the birds suddenly sprung off the ceiling and started to circle the group.

"What the hell? Bartholomus cheated," L.A. said as she cowered away from the mass of birds. "This is Alfred Hitchcock's idea."

"Bartholomus is going to be sued," Amu added.

"Geez, stop talking about people getting sued," Yusuke said as he shot a spirit gun at a group of birds. They dodged just in time. "Stay still you damn birds."

No matter how many birds they swatted down, more seemed to appear.

"You know what," L.A. yelled. "I can't believe this, but I think that Bartholomus may have come up with a successful trap."

As soon as she said this, a trap door opened up underneath them sending them hurtling into a dark pit below.

The last thing L.A. heard was Amu screaming. "Why the heck did you say that?"

L.A.: Oh no, seems to be a trap. Will L.A. ever get her laptop back? Will Amu get sued? Will Hiei kill everyone from the sheer ridiculousness of this story? Tune in next time to find out.

Amu: Oh, scary announcer voice...

L.A.: Anywho, in case you were wondering, the part about the birds comes from a youtuber named Toby Turner a.k.a. Tobuscus. There from two videos of his. One is a literal trailer and the other is a spoof he did on a jumping bird. Check them out if you want to be entertained.

Amu: Yay entertainment!

L.A.: I'll try to get the second part up next week along with the next chapter of Rose Colored Glasses. I'm about a third of the way done with the chapter.

Amu: You seriously need to quit neglecting your stories.

L.A.: Anywho, you know what to do. READ and REVIEW!