Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. Seriously.
A/N: Written for Challenge #263 ~ Radio at femslash100.
A/N2: Ugh, I have my semester exams in a few days and I really should be revising, but the muse wouldn't stop bugging me. So, I hope you enjoyed this – I'm feeling somewhat ambivalent about it, but please REVIEW in any case! It'd make my day, it wouldn't take too much of your time and it'd motivate me to write more, cheers!
Being with Finn had felt like obligation – his eager kisses against my pursed lips, his embrace threatening to suffocate my every breath, the simplest of his touches bearing down on me with the weight of a penance. His crooked, trusting smiles stung the edges of my eyes and I grew ever more proficient at allaying his concerns (empty promises whispered in my broken voice and he would grin like he understood).
It had been a gamble with Puck – my hands around his arm as he paraded his newest conquest, our knees bumping together as his hands pressed heavily into my expanding stomach (our two heartbeats slowing to match the barely formed one inside me) in his brief moments of sincerity. His hopeful, sorrowful smiles pricked at what remained of my conscience and I learned to push him away (it was painful how desperately he had wanted to prove he could be good at something).
With Rachel, it had felt like coming home – her cautious arms around me as I broke down with Beth's name on my lips, her faltering singing to the tune of a nearly muted radio as she tried to be strong for me, her hesitation to declare love even as I could see it in her eyes (as I hoped she could see it reflected in my own). Her heartbreakingly beautiful smiles tugged and beckoned and I could not help but smile back and be the first to take the plunge for a change: "I love you."