It was a hot day in the town of fresh and funky. As it turns out, not many people have the ability to be just as delicious as the goodness this fella entailed.
His name was known by many as the hot one: Cole and he had such righteous abs like nobody's business.
Today was his first day to do hot things with his delectable abs. There was a lot of bad things. A lot of bad things. But Drake was not his homeboy. He had his abs for that kind of emotional support.
"Cole, do you mind running a tea errand for me?" asked the wise Sensei Wu and his long flowing wise beard.
Cole scoffed and stuck a fork in his prime rib. He would finish eating it later because his abs were demanding excitement. "Yo, Wu-baby, I'mma show you how it's done!" he said as he bolted out the window.
Jay was sitting on the sidewalk thinking about his own hot plastic bootycakes. They would never be as attractive as Cole's, but at least he was outdoing the Falcon.
Cole ran up to Jay and punched him in the Lego tippie-toe. Jay's entire foot died that day and it was sad and a lot of people cried about it.
"Cole, you have killed my foot," said Jay in a determined glared.
"Stinkin' buttz, man…" said Cole in that raspy Kirby Morrow tone that gets the ladies ever-time!
"Wow, how hot!" said Jay. He then exploded into separated pieces like a real minifigure would and not like idiot Jack Stone who was the worst Lego ever. Can do, will do, idiot.
Cole then made it to the tea emporium and was ready to purchase Wu wonderous love. He held a whole dollar in the face of the manager and demanded the tea to be placed in his open maw.
The manager complied and poured the tea from an elephant's snout into Cole's delicious kissable decal of a mouth. Nya would smoocha them lips, wouldn't ya'll?
Cole was on his way home when he was abruptly stopped by Pythor and his ab-deletion machine. He shot Cole with the machine's laser and Cole lost his abs for good. "My glory! My abs have been stripped of their host!" wept the gorgeous ninja of earth.
"Get these abs OFF of you!" cackled Pythor as he pondered his new ability to steal all of Cole's shipping partners. "Ooh! Now I will make my own lovely love story!"
Cole was so angry at the thought of losing his reputation as the grandest stud in Ninjago. He quickly put the tears to good work and used his earth powers to transform his droplets into boulders. He launched the boulder tantrum at the snaky fiend and crushed him into deadworld.
"You have oochied my life, you vile Ninja!" writhed Pythor as he wiggled his serpentine tush to the grooviness that was magical love and abs.
Cole ran up and kicked the enemy in the face with a horrify explosion of Spinjitsu that was hot like Kai's powers. He could do this because he had so much foxy charisma in his soul, unlike Kai, Zane, and Michael Jones from AH.
"I have made such a sick triumph!" Cole congratulated himself and retrieved his abs from the machine and put them back on. "I'm totally in that hunk zone now, baby!"
Cole then ran home and delivered the tea to Sensei Wu. Wu loved the taste and then awarded Cole the gold medal in hotness which is the highest honour in the universe.
It just goes to show how great your life can be when you treat your abs with ever-loving kindness and glorious dedication.
FIN