Distracted Hearts

AN: This is my first Sailor Moon story so please be nice, I have been a fan of the series for a very long time, at least the parts that I have seen here in the United States.

I, personally, have always loved Serena and Darien but I have recently discovered that I very much like Serena and Amara together as well.

Please review and let me know how you like it so far and I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible.
Thank you!

Ps-I will be using the Japanese versions of their names Usagi, Haruka, Michiru but not for Darien because the name Mamoru just makes me think of that word for boobs in the English language. Lol.

Haruka

Michiru knows me better than anybody and she should, seeing as we grew up together. For years, we thought we were cousins but we were closer than that, almost like siblings, if siblings secretly lusted after each other the way we did. After we learned that our bonds were not familial, we became even closer, lovers, I suppose you could say.

I don't know when it started, I've never been much for sharing my feelings but I know that I am grateful for Michiru's love. She sees my heart even through my walls, through my facades, I don't know how I would get along without her and yet…

There is Usagi, princess and future queen of the moon.

Until I met her, I didn't think there could be anyone as pure hearted as my Michiru but I was wrong.

Usagi is the definition of purity.

I don't know which pains me more, the fact that I am betraying Michiru with my thoughts or the fact that she isn't more upset with me over it.

"Oh Haruka, you get so serious over the silliest of things." her eyes sparkling as she laughs.

I don't know why her reaction surprised me, as I said, she know me better than anybody, "You aren't-aren't you upset?"

"Why should I be upset over a little crush?"

"A crush? You aren't worried that I might be falling in love?"

For some reason she thinks that is funnier, I don't think I've ever made her laugh so hard before. I sigh and sink down into the chair by the window. When she finally stops laughing, she walks over to me.

"This is really bothering you isn't it? I'm sorry for laughing."

"T've never felt this way before, I'm so confused."

Michiru kneels down in front of me and takes my hands in hers, "Haruka, do you remember what I said to you when we were 13 and you were worried that my music would take me far away?"

I nod, how could I forget? I had been angry an entire week because I thought Michiru was going to leave for a music school in New York. "You said I shouldn't worry because we would be together forever."

Michiru smiles, "Even when we believed that we were cousins, I knew that somehow you and I would never be separated. That is why I am not worried by your new feelings for Usagi."

"I want to protect her with my life, I want to hold her in my arms. These are things that I should only feel for you."

"We all love her and want to protect her but that is because she is our princess, our queen; the rest that you feel is only lust."

"You really think so?"

Michiru kisses my hands, "I know it. This is a simple crush that you will get over eventually."

I touch her cheek, overwhelmed with love for the girl in front of me, "What should I do about it?"

"Hmmmm, you could find out if she feels the same for you. Sometimes a splash of cold water is just what we need to wake up from a nice dream."

"You think she'll reject me?" the thought hadn't yet occurred to me.

"Usagi is deeply in love with Darien that much is clear but she is young and easily distracted, you may win her for a few minutes but her heart will belong to him for all eternity."

I think about this for a bit, meanwhile Michiru stands up and head to the kitchen, "I'll make us some tea."

It's just a crush. There is no chance that Usagi and I will ever be togther, I know all of this already. Usagi and Darien are destined to be together, they have a daughter for crying out loud. Still, I can't help but wonder.

I wouldn't force her to leave him but maybe we could be a secret? Rini would still be born and I'd still get to be with the princess.

I shake the thought from my head, it's far too selfish.

I announce to Michiru that I'm going for a ride, she just smirks and tells me to have fun and be careful.

The speed helps clear my mind, I hadn't realized until I stepped out side, how anxious I was. I could feel little beads of sweat on my forehead and neck but the cool night air helped. A lot of the time, I get mistaken for a man because of my short hair, deep voice and choice in clothes but I've never really tried to look like one. It's the 20th century, pant suits aren't just for men anymore. Besides, I can't exactly were a miniskirt on my motorcycle, talk about road rash. I use the same logic when it comes to my hair, it's about practicality and comfort. How would I be able to see the road if long hair is flying in my face all the time? Not to mention helmets are more comfortable when you don't have to worry about hair getting caught or messy. More than any of that, I love the way it feels like the wind is massaging my scalp as I speed through the busy streets of Tokyo. Usagi and Mina both thought I was a guy when they first met me, I wonder if it would be easier for Usagi to love me if I was, probably not.

Both of them are far too good for me, don't get me wrong, Michiru has a darkside. I think being a Scout is tough on her. She is a star musician, she creates masterpieces with her hands and her mind but the life of a scout has hardened her a little. She isn't exactly the same as before. As for me, I am just a dumb jock, a thrill seeker. Being a scout doesn't phase me as much as it should, except for the part that I can no longer pursue my dreams to be a world famous race car driver. How would it look if I left in the middle of a race to go save the world from evil forces? I am already hard on the inside, maybe that is why I am so drawn to them. They are light in my darkness, warmth for my cold soul.

If I told Michiru any of this she would probably say that I must be getting soft.

That's a good thing right? If I am it is her doing, Michiru's love is changing me little by little.

I wonder if it's something similar for Darien, I know he isn't hard like me but he's got his own lonely past so maybe?

I wonder if he is a jealous guy, would he throw her away the minute she was unfaithful? Would it bother him more or less that I am a woman?

After an hour or so, I turn around and head home. Michiru is in bed reading a book when I get there.

"How was your ride Haruka?"

I take off my motorcycle jacket and toss it on the chair near the closet, " It was relaxing, it's a very nice night out."

"Yes, I saw. The moon is full and bright tonight."

I ignore her pointed comment about the moon, clearly Usagi is still on both of our minds. I remove my jeans and crawl into bed next to her. She is wearing her blue silk night gown, my favorite and she knows this.

"How contradictory." I muse aloud as I crawl on top of her.

Michiru smiles, "I didn't mean to be."

Her book falls to the floor as she buries her hands in my hair and we kiss. That night we make love several times before falling asleep in each other's arms.

I fall asleep knowing that this is where I belong, with Michiru.