I sat under a tree. I was watching Lily. She was sitting next to James who kept trying to snog her. I loved her so much it almost hurt to see her with James. I tried to push the thought away as I opened my potions book and tried to read. It did not help. I just kept hearing Lily's bell like laughter. I slammed the book shut and stood up walking past her and James. I went to the Slytherin common room and sat down on a chair trying to read again.

I finally gave up. I walked upstairs and lay on the bed I was sleeping in this year. I sat there I had taken off my robe so I was only in a shirt and pants I guess I would sleep this way. I had a picture of Lily, which I know sounds a little stalker like but I had taken it at a party with her permission so it's not as bad as it seems. I tucked it under my pillow and laid down hoping sleep would come.

Sleep never came. I was lying in bed the entire night. I got up and went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Under my eyes were purple showing I had not gotten any sleep. I changed into new robes and grabbed my books. I walked upstairs and then started to the great hall.

"Sevorus?" the voice stopped me dead in my tracks. It was Lily's voice but I didn't want to turn for fear James was there "Sevorus?" she repeated.

I turned "What?" I asked she was alone.

"You left this yesterday at the tree," she said. My eyes went from her beautiful face to her hands. In them there was a book mark. My bookmark to be more precise.

"Thanks," I mumbled. I reached out my hand and grabbed the bookmark our hands brushed and it was kind of nice. She smiled her kind Lily smile.

"Anytime," she said.

I peered behind her shoulder "Where is your umm friends?" I asked.

Her smile disappeared "Oh well he's in the great hall," she said "But you might want to go in first because if we look like were together James will kill you. But I like you alive," her smile returned.

"Can I walk you there until we get there?" I asked knowing I was aiming a bit too high.

She shrugged "Why not?" she walked up to me and we started walking. We didn't say anything. When we got to the Great Hall I stood outside letting her go in first. I figured after five minutes it would be ok to go in.

When I sat down at the Slytherin table there was a letter in front of me with Sevorus written in clear script across the middle on the envelope. I recognized it, it was Lily's hand writing.

I opened it up my eyes scanning the page.

Sevorus,

I'm really sorry about James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus. I've tried to make them stop but they are determined to make your life miserable. I do not know what they have against you. Maybe they think it's a score to settle for you likening me. Don't try and pretend it's not obvious. I like you too but not like that. I like you as a friend or an older brother. I'll try to make them stop but I can't guarantee anything.

Lily

I reread it three times. She cared about me. I looked up and saw her smiling; the only problem James arm was around her protectively. On either side of them were Peter, Sirius, and Remus. That was not as comforting. I looked down quickly and started eating. I wasn't paying any attention to what I was eating but it filled my stomach.

I stood up books in hand and walked to the door. "Hello Sevorus," a cool voice behind me said. It was James and no doubt the rest of his crew was with him.

"James," I said looking for any way to escape.

"Who wants to see me pull Snape's trousers down?" I heard some cheers. I started to run down the hall to my right. Not even a yard out I tripped falling hard on my face. I wasn't going to look at my face's damage yet. I looked down sure enough my pants were around my ankles.

I stood up collecting what little pride I had left. I pulled up my pants and zipped and buttoned them. I walked to the first boys' bathroom I saw. I looked at my face in the mirror my nose was really bloody and my lip had a small cut. Our nurse wouldn't have a problem with this I would be in and out probably in less than five minutes. I walked up to the nurses' office and sat on a bed waiting for her.

She came and fixed my nose and healed the cut. She said I could stay there for a minute then I needed to go back to class. I got up as soon as I could and walked out. I walked to my second class of the day. I sat down keeping my head down and avoiding everyone's gaze.

I sat down at the same tree I had sat at some many days ago. I was watching Lily she was alone. She sat there I didn't think she was crying but I couldn't tell from this distance. I stood up and walked over to her and sat down "Are you ok?" I asked not looking at her.

What she did next surprised me she leaned her head on my shoulder and said "I broke up with James,"

That took me by surprise. I looked at her for a moment "Can I ask why?"

She nodded "He keeps hurting you so I said when you learn not to hurt people anymore I'll come back to you and we can start over,"

I didn't know what to say. She kept her head on my shoulder "If you need anything your doing a pretty good job of finding me," I said. Those words made her give me her brilliant Lily smile. Her green eyes were locked on mine.

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you Sevorus," she said standing up and walking down one of Hogwarts long corridors.

It's been two months now. Two months of tripping and nose bleeding and hurt from James and his gang. I was under the tree that two months ago I had found Lily when she had told me she had breaking up with James. Today they were back together. James had given Lily his word that he would never hurt me again. Not that I believed a word of it. Now every time Lily found me she would ramble about how good James was being.

I was sick of it. As much as I loved Lily James was lieing through his teeth. I could never go to the boys' bathrooms in the halls otherwise he would beat me up in there I would have to run all the way to Slytherin dungeon if I had to use the bathroom.

One day it happened. I couldn't make the trip to Slytherin so I had ducked into a boys' bathroom. And I heard it. It was faint but it was there a soft crying sound. I peeked under the stall door and sure enough it was James.

I pulled my robes up to my knee's so he couldn't see the green. I grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill

Are you ok? I wrote is tossed it out of the stall and it hit James foot. A few seconds later a piece of parchment was sent my way. I opened it up yeah it's just there's this kid I don't really fancy and every time I pick on him my girl-friend and I get into this humongous fight. I thought for a moment Why don't you like the kid? I passed that out and he read it. He pushed another piece of paper under the stall door Just one of those kids. Were you just can't seem to like them. I wrote back Yeah I know the feeling. But why can't you just ignore him? He didn't reply to that through a letter "That's a good question. Probably because if I quit now everyone would think I was weak," he said. I flushed the toilet but didn't dare come out. "Why don't you come out I want to thank you talking to me," I quietly unlocked the door and came out. What happened next was something I did not expect.

He ran up to me. I braced myself for the punch that would probably come. It didn't instead I felt to arms around me. "Uhhhhh," I looked down sure enough it was James "Do you know who I am?" I asked pushing the kid off of me. He looked up startled to see it was me "Beat it Sevorus," he snarled. I did as I was told glad to see him his usual bratty self. I picked my books up and walked out of the bathroom. Lily was outside "You made it out with out a bloody nose," she said smiling. I smiled "Yeah baby steps, baby steps," she laughed and it was bell like, that made my smile grow exposing my crooked teeth. She put her arms around me to hug me and at that precise moment……….James came out. "Lily," he said "W-," he didn't finish his sentence instead he ran off.

Lily let go of me and ran after James saying "Please let me explain," I was not mad her eyes said it all that she was scared of losing someone she loved. At that moment I realized what James might do to me now. Left, right, left, right. I had finally found a use for my long skinny legs. I ran barley missing a couple of first years by hurdling over them. I took the dungeon stairs three at a time until I found the Slytherin portrait "Lollypop dragon breath," I panted. The portrait opened immediately and I ran in.

It had been three hours now. I was sitting on my bed in my bed clothes. My knees were hugged to my chest I was in a ball tears rolling down my face. I was useless. I had ruined Lily's life in less than five seconds. I was the worst person I had ever met.