So a friend of mine passed away on the 19th of September last year due to a brain tumour…and I was listening to a cover of her favorite song and I decided, well, why not? So here goes…Kwan…this fic is dedicated to you and I hope you're well up there. Everyone misses you and well, we promise that we'll never forget you. 3 R.I.P Teresa Thien Lai Kwan.
And something else I'd like to tell all my readers; SORRY FOR NOT UDPATING! T_T I was drowning in homework and frikkin' ELPs. Plus, I had a bit of a writer's block so yeah…hope this fic makes up for it.
P.S. Silver Psychic, I'm in the middle of writing your fic (the seaside one) so I'm so so so sorry for making you wait! :(
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize, I do not own.
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
Hino sobbed brokenly as she stared at her violin. Her strings were broken and it was all her fault. Now everyone would realize that she was a fake and she had just been lying to them all along. What will they think of me when they find out? I can imagine Fuyuumi's shocked face and Yunoki-senpai's sneering one. The others…? And Tsukimori-kun… I don't even want to think about them…
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Tsukimori looked at the door, which was still swinging gently after the force at which Hino had pushed the door before running out. He wanted to run after her but he feared for his reputation. Him, the Ice Prince, running after a simple Gen. Ed student. His heart urged him to follow her but his brain held him back.
Finally, he decided to leave her be and let her cool down. After all, he didn't really want to face an overly emotional female. Let her simmer down before he went out to comfort her, or try to, at least.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
"Hino…eh?"
Tsukimori peered around the corner, smiling slightly when he caught sight of Hino lying on the grass in a fashion reminiscent of Shimizu. Tear tracks still lingered on her face but her breathing was even, indicating that she was asleep. He walked over to her quietly, tentatively reaching a hand out before softly stroking her hair. It felt as soft as it looked. Tsukimori sighed internally. He loved her so much it hurt but he couldn't tell her.
Why? Because the great Tsukimori Len was scared that he would be rejected. I suppose you don't have any idea how large the impact you make on people is. Your smile, your kind words, your very presence is enough to make people feel happy! And you're as oblivious as ever, I suppose, to the way Tsuchiura looks at you. It's probably none of my business but I can't help feeling this anger rise within me when I see the both of you together.
Tsukimori sighed again, withdrawing his hand. That moment had been nice while it lasted but it was time to go back to the normal grumpy routine.
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
When Tsukimori left, Hino opened an eye. Her heart was beating unusually fast. Was that really Tsukimori-kun? He seemed so…different. Gentle and caring; nothing like the icy aura he usually gives off. Does that mean that it isn't entirely hopeless…that I actually have a chance of him liking me back?
She got up and brushed her skirt off. The clock chimed: one, two, three, four. School had ended. As quickly as possible, she ran out of the school gates, praying that she wouldn't be seen by anyone. She was lucky; no one saw, except for Tsukimori, who was looking out of the window and happened to catch a glimpse of her.
He shook his head. She left her bag here. What do I do? Should I go to her house later to return this? There would be a lot of whispers if anyone saw me going to that commoner area but still, she brought my jacket to my house, right? Very well. I will go. Hopefully she won't slam the door in my face.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
It was surprisingly easy to get into Hino's house. Her mother and sister were both there, opening the door with big smiles on their faces and ushering him in.
"You are here to see Kaho, right?" whispered Hino's sister.
Tsukimori nodded.
"Go right up and the first door on your left is our room. She came home and went up straight away. Probably something happened at school…'cause she's crying. Make her smile again, okay? I can see that you are someone that has captured her heart. So go up and bring that smile back to her face. Go on!" She patted his arm and pushed him gently up the stairs.
Tsukimori walked up and the first thing he heard was the sound of crying. He knocked twice before entering. Hino was sitting on the floor, her head resting on the bed. When she turned to look at him, her eyes widened.
"T-tsukimori-kun? What are you doing here?"
"You left your schoolbag in school when you ran off. So I came here to bring it back."
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I
More tears rolled down Hino's face. Why are you being so kind to me? When you learn that I can't play to save my life, you, like everyone else will turn away.
Tsukimori looked at her in panic. I didn't mean to make her cry! What do I do?
He tentatively reached out to brush the tears from her cheeks, heart beating erratically. She jerked away from his hand, now crying even harder.
"Hino…what's wrong?"
She shook her head, tears spilling to the floor. "Why are you being so kind to me?! You love to confuse people, don't you? Pushing them away and then being kind to them. It only makes them fall for you harder, you know!" She pulled away, her eyes wide with horror.
"Oh my gosh…I just spat it out, didn't I? Me and my big mouth." She hiccupped and scrubbed at her eyes, her back facing Tsukimori.
He got up and hugged her tightly. Releasing her, he sat back on his heels.
"Why do you think that I'm being kind to you to hurt you more?"
"I don't know…it just feels like it, you know. Like, when you've got that person following you around like a puppy and then you kick that puppy off."
Tsukimori's heart clenched. Was this what she's been feeling all along?
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I
"Hino. I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to be feeling that way. I just didn't know what to do with the new feelings y-you stirred up in me."
Hino smiled sadly. "Even though you say this now, you will still turn away when you find out about something…"
Tsukimori raised an eyebrow. "Find out about what?"
Hino turned away. "Please do not tell anyone else about this…yet. I will find a way to tell everyone but for now, please keep this to yourself."
Tsukimori nodded.
"I have never been able to play the violin. The fairy, Lili, gave me a magic violin. It allows anyone, even without previous knowledge, to play the violin. Since it's broken, I can't play it anymore. Everyone will find out that I'm a fraud and they'll hate me for lying to them. That's why…"
Tsukimori's frown had been deepening with every word she said. Suddenly, he leaned in, pressing his lips to hers, effectively shutting her up. When he pulled back, Hino's hand went up to her lips.
"Don't overthink. If you have true friends, they will rally around you. And speaking of not knowing how to play, I can teach you, right?"
Hino smiled, throwing her arms around Tsukimori and hugging him tightly.
"Thank you so much, Tsukimori-kun."
He patted her back awkwardly. "Um, Hino, could you let go now? I think I'm suffocating."
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
~OWARI~