To Keep a Secret
Summary: Lily has a secret, one no one would ever guess. AU, fits with Denial
Category: Harry Potter
Genre: General/?
Rating: T (was K+, but then I said damn and there's the whole Lily dying thing, so... just to be safe)
Characters: Lily Evans P.
Notes: "Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead." Benjamin Franklin, apparently.
No one knew about her little secret. Not even Severus knew.
Even at age seven, Lily Evans knew this was not something that was normal. Even her sporadic bursts of accidental magic (as Sev had told her it was, just a few months ago) paled in comparison to this. Actually, from what Sev had told her about the magical world, her gift wasn't even normal there.
The girl sighed, leaning back against the tree in her backyard. She'd been coming out here more in the past two months, mostly because it was summer, and partially to get away from her parents' harping and her older sisters sneers.
That, and Lily could easily meet with her without anyone the wiser.
A rustling sounded in the grass beside her and Lily lit up almost without thought. Moments later, the ash coloured snake curled up in her lap, head lifted high so she could flick her tongue against Lilys nose. The girl giggled, running a hand over the snakes head.
"Good morning, Sasha," she hissed, green eyes sparkling.
Sasha was the only one who ever got to see her this happy and the snake relished in the knowledge.
Hogwarts! She was finally going to Hogwarts! Lily almost giggled in her seat, watching as Sev rolled his eyes. She saw him try to hide a smile behind his book, though, so Lily didn't mind. He was just as excited as her, she knew. It was all he would talk about in August.
The door of their compartment opened slowly, the small brown haired boy peering inside hesitantly. Sev glanced up with a habitual frown and the boy flinched, avoiding his eyes to look at Lily instead. "Is, um. Can I sit in here?"
"Sure," Lily said, scooting over since it was obvious Sev wouldn't want this boy sitting next to him. "I'm Lily Evans," she introduced, shaking his hand and noticing how frail he was. Was he sick?
"Remus Lupin," he told her, nodded to Sev though he'd mainly gone back to his book. Lily knew he was still listening.
"That's my friend Severus Snape," Lily introduced for him, rolling her eyes. "He's a bit of a grump, but don't let that fool you," she leaned closer to Remus like she was sharing a secret, her voice still loud enough for Sev to hear, "when I found out about magic, he made me a flower."
"Hey!" Sev protested, his cheeks red under his glare. "Don't go telling people that!"
"Why not?" Lily asked innocently, but neither boy was fooled.
"You'll ruin my reputation!"
"I didn't realize you had one," Lily bantered lightly, grinning at him. Sev made a frustrated noise, but he was starting to smile. Remus watched them talk with a bemused smile, looking a little lost. "We're good friends," Lily told him quietly as Sev very obviously went back to his book. "He was the one that told me about magic."
"You didn't know?" Remus asked, voice equally quiet. Lily shook her head.
"Nope. I'm muggleborn you see. My parents are so excited!" Lily smiled and tried to keep it there as she remembered her sister's response to magic. And if she ever knew about... Lily shook her head. That doesn't matter, does it? Because no one's going to know.
Remus gave her a small smile in return and kept his voice low as he spoke. "Only my dad's magical, but that doesn't stop either of them from being excited for me. Getting to go to Hogwarts..." he trailed off, wistful in a way that led Lily to believe he hadn't thought he'd be able to come to the school. But why?
"It sounds amazing, doesn't it?" Lily said, gazing out the window and watching as the scenery passed by. Hogwarts... maybe the library they had could tell her about her little secret. It had to be called something, didn't it?
They chatted on and off for the rest of the train ride and Lily thought she'd like being friends with this new boy. Even if they both seemed to be hiding secrets.
She stood in the Great Hall, her eyes wide and taking in all the grandeur of the room. It really was great and she wondered if the rest of the castle was this grand. It probably was. Nothing would beat that ceiling, though.
Sev stood beside her, quiet but smiling slightly whenever she glanced his way. Remus stood near them, but didn't seem to really be in their 'group', as if were. He looked both awed just be to here and – though Lily didn't know if it was the right assessment – scared being here. It almost made her want to ask him why.
She didn't, if only because she knew how much she never wanted anyone to ask her about her secrets.
Lily's attention was called back to the stern witch standing in front of them when she cleared her throat, giving them all a slight smile. Lily was sure she would like this professor, though she still shrunk a little under her gaze.
"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," the woman said and Lily frowned. A hat? she wondered. How would that tell you what House you were in? Beside her, Sev smirked. So he knows, she pouted, crossing her arms. And isn't going to tell me. Honestly.
Shaking her head, she watched as McGonagall began calling names. She was one of the first, her last name in the E's and when her name was called, Sev gave her a small smile. She returned it and tried not to shake as she made her way to the hat. From what she'd seen, it sat on your head for a varying amount of time, then called a House.
Hopefully it didn't look into her thoughts, or something. What if it found out about her ability and told someone? Oh... She gnawed worriedly on her cheek as she sat on the stool.
Then the Sorting Hat dropped onto her head and Lily froze, closing her eyes against the fabric.
"Ho, ho, ho," the Hat chuckled, making her jump. Nobody told her this would happen! "You certainly have the temper of the Lions. And the kindness, deep down, that the House sorely needs." Its voice was gentle and that managed to calm the girl.
"I'll be separated from Sev, though, won't I?" she thought back morosely. Even if her friend hadn't been Sorted yet, she knew well enough which House he'd be in.
"Only in House. That needn't be a reason to stop being friends," the Sorting Hat comforted, then seemed to grin, "especially when you have the ability most Snakes would die for!"
Lily tensed, then snarled "Don't you dare tell that to anyone, you hear me?" The Hat chuckled at her again and her eyes narrowed at the patch of cloth hiding her view. "I mean it. You'll find that you won't be anything more than the Sorting Scrap."
The Hat gulped, then opened its rim quickly.
"GRYFFINDOR!"
No one commented on the hint of panic in its tone.
She shot a smile over at Sev, who looked heartbroken, but still managed to shoot her a sad smile in return. Sighing, Lily pulled the Hat from her head, handing it back to the Professor. Standing, she hurried over to the cheering table – red and gold and so bright – where she sat at the nearly empty front end. She'd been the second Gryffindor of the group of unsorted first years.
Looking across the table, she could see Black who was alternating between hiding from the view of the Slytherins, and beaming up at who Lily knew was James Potter. Idly, she wondered if Black would care about her obviously Slytherin ability, since he seemed to hate the Snakes.
Then again, she was never going to tell anyone, so why did she care?
When Sev went to Slytherin, Lily was the only Gryffindor who clapped and when Black glared, she glared back. There was no way she was going to let petty rivalries keep her from her friend and Black would just have to sod off.
And maybe having met Remus earlier would help her; she had him to be around when she had to stay in Gryffindor and he didn't seem to hate Sev like Potter and Black did. Hopefully, it would all work out.
Lily determinately found Severus on her free day, two weeks into term. He was in the library working on Slughorns' Potions essay, though the only reason he was here was for the quiet. Lily knew he was a Potions prodigy. He'd been situated in the back of the room, in one of the barely used (and thus dark and dusty) corners, when she'd stormed in, hair flying behind her like some veil of fire. He tried not to gulp, or sink into his seat, or show any more emotion than a Slytherin should.
Not even looking to see if anyone was around (there wasn't), the girl plopped down across from him, leaning forward so that she could grab one of his wrists in a painfully tight grip (Severus winced) and glared at him.
"This doesn't change anything!" Lily whispered fiercely. "We're still friends, no matter what House we're in, got it?"
Severus only nodded, wide eyed. Of course he still wanted to be friends with her; he'd just been avoiding her these past days because, since she was a Gryffindor, he'd thought she didn't want to. Looking back on it, that had been a rather stupid thought. Knowing her as he did, Severus knew that if she'd wanted to end their friendship, she would have done something big and probably humiliating (she had the resources). But if she still thought of them as friends, then he wasn't on her bad side – and never getting on her bad side was just about the best bonus. Especially since her bad side had landed Potter in the 'Wing for nearly a week.
(And the git had been placed there both for healing and as a safety precaution. Plus, it had another bonus of Potter being unable to attack the Slytherin – which was the reason Lily had gotten him admitted in the first place.)
"Okay," he smiled shakily. "Still friends."
His smile grew stronger when she beamed at him.
She avoided everything serpentine like the plague – except for Sev, of course. The Slytherin was her only lifeline, really, and she clung to him almost as much as he clung to her, in midst of Potter and Black's attacks. Lily wasn't one to stand that type of attitude and had often escaped the common room to just sit with Sev. And he never complained. One, because they were friends; and two, because when he was with her, Potter's gang left him alone. (Remus, while staying her friend, was rooming with the boys and she wouldn't want him to be the subject of those 'pranks', so she didn't begrudge him staying away from all the conflicts.)
Although, no matter how hard she avoided things (the gardens almost always had a small garter snake wanting to talk) there was still the Portraits to consider. She ignored them mostly; trying not to react to Slytherins comments to his pet boa (when the man deigned to show up) or Medusa's hissed insults (which no one understood except for herself, her snake hair, and Lily – whose ears were no longer 'virgins' after the first week of school).
It was just as well she'd placed Gryffindor. If she lived in the dungeons, she would have been surrounded by snakes and their unholy chattiness. Lily had a feeling that she would have gone insane much sooner if that were the case. As it was, Medusa was slowly driving her up the wall, try as she might to avoid the Gorgon.
Thank Merlin her portrait was on the first floor.
As the years passed, it became easier to hide her ability. Lily barely had to try anymore. She could walk past the gardens without so much as twitching when she overheard a conversation, could roam the halls without even passing the portraits. She knew where they all were by her third year and was able to find the quickest routes around them by her fourth.
Occasionally, she could hear the disgruntled hisses of a Slytherins familiar, but she could ignore that too. Once she'd become a Prefect, she was tempted to take points from them because you aren't supposed to have your pets with you in class, but since she was the only one who could hear them well enough to know they were there, it was suspicious. To hear a snake, for normal people, you had to be close to one. Hissing was practically silent.
So Lily ignored those snakes too, though she did watch those Slytherins more than others. She was a Gryffindor, so she got away with it, the House feud hiding her true reasons. She was glad for that, if only for that one reason.
Sev never found out. After sixth year, she had no reason to tell him, if she ever spoke to him again. It seemed unlikely now with Sev pushing himself even further into the Dark, not even looking at her when she'd finally began to think. He'd been mad; embarrassed in front of his tormentors and he'd lashed out in the only way he knew to try and keep his pride.
Damn his pride, Lily thought angrily, glaring up at him from where she was stabbing her eggs. His back was to her as he slouched at the Slytherin table. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she could see that he and a few others were deep in conversation. Given how Sev kept scratching his arm, she didn't want to know what they were saying.
"Who are you glaring at, Lil?" James asked, leaning forward onto his elbow, peering at her. She scowled at him, but he didn't move or lower his eyes. She let the expression fall from her face, sighing.
"No one," she answered. She smiled at him, catching his hand with her own to reassure him. Even though he'd stopped pranking Sev at the start of this year, Lily knew that if she said anything to James or his friends, they'd start again. As much was he'd injured her with his words and dismissal, she didn't want to see Sev suffer by the hands of her boyfriend. She had a feeling he was going to be hurt by the war and even that thought pulled at her.
"If you say so," James conceded sceptically, pulling her closer to him. She let her eyes close as she rested on his shoulder, feeling even more tired than before. Because James didn't know about her gift either, and she knew she could never tell him. With Sev she had a chance of acceptance. With James, she had none.
She'd kept it a secret for too long now anyway. She'd gotten too good at hiding it. As much as it hurt, she couldn't say anything. Her chance to was long gone.
Hallowe'en was supposed to be a lively night of festivals and rituals and candy.
Instead, Lily was going to die. James was already gone and now the monster that killed him was standing in front of her and she was going to die. This wasn't supposed to happen.
She didn't even realize in her hysteria that she'd switched from English to Parseltongue. And even in Harry's memories, he'd hear nothing but English, not that Lily knew that. Pleading, her hisses came out slightly distorted, wobbly with tears, but still legible enough for Voldemort to pause, shocked.
Not that he showed it, oh no. Nothing more than a slight widening of the eyes and then a cruel smirk acknowledged his understanding. He'd hissed back – Just move aside – and she'd denied once more and then...
Well, then no one knew that Lily was a Parselmouth, and Dumbledore had believed a bloodline ability to be from something... other.
Not that anyone knew otherwise. Lily had kept her secrets well.
A/N: Recommend me a genre, ja? I don't actually know what this should be.