Merlin didn't have time to react, didn't have time to think of anything else. He saw the dagger being launched, and with an instinctive, shouted incantation time slowed down, and at the same time the thrower of the dagger, a young looking man, who had been part of a travelling group of musicians, toppled to the floor. Merlin saw the shocked faces of the court members, mouths open in terror, someone was pointing at him, and then the realisation hit him. He had just performed magic in front of the entire court, in front of Uther, in front of Arthur. He saw the dagger turning in the air, its blade catching the light, and he knew what he had to do, it was like a whisper, the voice of instinct rushing through his mind. He took in a breath, vaulted the table he was behind, and leapt in front of Arthur, shielding him from the impending blade. It struck, and at that moment Arthur's glass smashed, sending glittering shards cascading across the polished floor in an eerily beautiful way, and time snapped back to normal speed. Merlin's breath caught and he looked down at his chest. Blood was soaking rapidly into his shirt, and the dagger was protruding from the left hand side of his chest, inches from his heart. Merlin opened his mouth in shock, but no sound came out. Instead he let out a broken gasp of pain and shock, stumbled back a few paces and collapsed.
Arthur caught Merlin mid-fall and gently lowered him to the floor. "Merlin, I've got you, I've got you. Merlin? Speak to me!"
"Arthur…I'm sorry…I…lied to you." Merlin grimaced in pain and took in another ragged, broken breath.
"Shhhh, its okay, just keep still, stay with me."
"When have…I never….not…stayed with…you?" Merlin attempted to laugh at his own joke, but the pain was too much, and he grimaced some more.
"Merlin, I…" Arthur couldn't speak; his eyes were filling with tears. He squeezed Merlin's hand in comfort. "I'm with you."
"Merlin!" Gaius pushed through the crowd that had gathered around Merlin. He knelt by him and gulped back a sob of anguish at the sight which greeted him. He leaned over and inspected the wound. "Merlin, stay with us, you have to stay awake." He looked at Arthur, who had put a hand on the handle of the dagger and was preparing to pull it out. "No, leave it there, it's holding back the blood" He sighed. "I need to move him, I can't treat him here."
Nobody in the courtroom moved. Nobody wanted to be labelled a sorcerer or prosecuted for aiding one. After a moment of tense silence and shuffling of feet, Morgana stepped forward, making sure to glare at Uther, who hadn't moved, and was watching the whole scene unfold with calm, emotionless face. Gwen followed and, together the thee of them, on instruction of Gaius, lifted and carried Merlin from the silent, uncomfortable and shell-shocked courtroom.
"Will he survive?" Arthur asked in a choked voice, head in his hands. He, Gwen and Morgana sat in Gaius' chambers, watching as he put a pressured bandage on the wound. Merlin groaned in pain.
"Sorry, Merlin. Keep still." Gaius blinked back tears as he tried to stem the flow of blood. Carefully, he wadded bandages on either side of the dagger and lifted Merlin's head to give him some kind of medicine. He sighed and sat with them. "I don't know. I can only make him comfortable and keep the pain at bay, the wound is too deep, I can't treat him for that. He will eventually leave us." Gaius' voice was surprisingly calm, but Arthur saw the pain in his deep blue eyes.
"Oh, God. Oh, Merlin." Arthur stood up and took Merlin's hand. "Oh, Merlin, you did this, for me, for my own life." A tear spilled over from his eye and rolled down his cheek.
"Hey, you're crying!" Merlin's voice was barely a whisper now, and Arthur could see that he was struggling with every breath. "Over…Me!"
Arthur couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, I guess I am." He gulped back a sob.
"Arthur?"
"Yes?"
"I did magic."
"I know."
"Are you angry…with…me?"
"No, of course not."
"Oh, good. I thought….you….wouldn't want…to see me…again."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"Arthur?"
"Yes?"
"I'm scared." A tear inched its way out of the corner of Merlin's eye and slid down his face. Arthur caught it with his finger and brushed it away.
"Don't cry" Arthur said it softly, and gently wiped away a second set of tears. "It's making it worse."
"I love you." Merlin shifted his head so that he could gaze up into Arthur's eyes with his own dark eyes, and Arthur saw the fear shining deep within them, but he could see the love, and feel it in their interlinked hands. It pulsed between them, stronger than ever, but Arthur could also feel the life in Merlin slowly ebbing away, getting weaker by the second.
"I..." Arthur choked on the words. "I love you too." He sighed. "Always have." His voice broke and a half sob escaped his lungs.
"You…I can't…it hurts." Merlin lifted his free hand to touch the hilt of the dagger and winced. Arthur took it and gently guided it back to Merlin's side.
Arthur gulped back a fresh bout of tears. "I…I think Gaius wants to talk to you. I won't be long." Arthur gave Merlin's hand a squeeze. "I promise." He ran a hand through Merlin's thick black locks of hair and tore himself away. He stopped at the table, where Morgana and Gwen were sitting. "I think we'd better…leave them to…" Arthur couldn't bring himself to say it but the others understood, nodded, and left the room. Arthur took a look back and saw Gaius leaning over Merlin, talking to him in a low voice. He gulped back the sobs that were threatening to explode from his chest and left to wait outside.
"Merlin, I'm so sorry." Gaius was shaking with silent sobs, and his words trembled.
"Not…your fault" Merlin choked out. "My…destiny." Merlin tried to move a little, but the pain was too much so he just stayed still. He could feel himself getting weaker by the second, and knew that death wasn't far away now.
"I should have known who that performer was! I should have stopped him."
"Who…was to…know? Don't…blame…yourself." Merlin's breaths were becoming staggered, and Gaius let out a small sob.
"I'm so, so sorry Merlin."
"Stop…apologising!" Merlin smiled a little, and it provoked another anguished sob. Gaius looked at the floor and back to Merlin.
"I didn't think I'd have to say goodbye like this." He sighed. "It should be the other way round."
"Gaius…I'm cold." Merlin didn't seem to have heard Gaius' comment. He supposed that was for the best. Merlin had gone completely pale now, and even his eyes seemed to have dulled a little. Gaius picked up a blanket from his own bed and draped it over Merlin, being careful not to dislodge the dagger. He ruffled Merlin's dark hair and smiled sadly.
"Hang on, Merlin, just a little longer." He muttered it, and Merlin took in ever shallowing breaths. "Where's…Arthur?"
"Outside. He'll be back in a minute." Gaius' voice was trembling. "I don't want to say goodbye." He voiced that thought out loud.
"I…don't want…to go."
That comment took Gaius off guard, and pulled at his heartstrings. He sighed and took Merlin's hand. "We're all here; you're safe, with friends." Gaius let tears roll down his cheeks as Merlin's clammy hands squeezed his. Gaius looked to the door and called for the others to come.
They filed in, and all had clearly been crying. They surrounded Merlin, Gaius and Arthur swapped places.
"Merlin?"
"Yeah?" Merlin's voice was distant now, and strained. His breaths kept stopping and starting, and were very shallow.
"I love you, and I always will. You belong in here" He touched his chest, where his own heart was beating a sound and perfect rhythm. He put a hand on Merlin's chest and felt a weak beat. Merlin's heart was fluttering, struggling to keep up with the blood loss.
"Love…you too." Merlin smiled sadly. His voice was barely a whisper. "Hey…if I need….someone….to serve in…..the next life…"
"Don't ask me!" Arthur finished the sentence and smiled sadly. A tear slid down his cheek. "I don't want to say goodbye."
"I'm scared." Merlin spoke those two words clearly, and he was squeezing Arthur's hand lightly, hands clammy and cold.
"Don't be. We're here." Arthur couldn't think of anything else to say. He slid his arm under Merlin's back and lifted him into his arms, then turned to face the others. He sighed and let Merlin rest his head against his chest.
"I…can hear…your…heart." Merlin looked up into Arthur's eyes and smiled. Arthur sobbed inwardly and gently shifted Merlin's position. Merlin groaned and shuddered. As Arthur cradled him, he watched as the light gradually bled from Merlin's eyes and soon it was gone, replaced by a dull sheen and a stark upward stare. Merlin was completely limp and lifeless, and suddenly a huge weight in Arthur's arms. He let the sobs leave his chest. Arthur hugged Merlin's body close and rested his head on Merlin's thick black hair. After a minute, he looked up at the others. Gwen and Morgana had broken down in tears, and Gaius seemed to be in shock. He kept the sobs ad bay and numbly got to his feet, still holding Merlin.
"He's…gone." His voice sounded distanced and not real. He looked down at Merlin's still open eyes and gently, with shaking and numb fingers closed them. "There…he looks like he's sleeping now." His voice shock and broke, and then the sobs came. Morgana and Gwen gently took Merlin's body from Arthur and laid it back on the thin table.
Arthur seemed to have changed within those short moments. His face was hard for a few seconds, and then he broke down. Tears started pouring down his cheeks and the sobs he had been holding for so long seemed to be erupting from him. Gaius gently took him into a comforting hug, rubbing his back and muttering "its okay, its alright" even though he knew it wasn't. Merlin's loss was a big one, and it had left what felt like a crater in Camelot, and in all their lives.
Merlin was confused. One moment, he had been lying in Arthur's warm, comforting arms and struggling to breathe, and then there had been an awful ripping, tearing sound, and he had felt very scared but yet peaceful. Now he was here, standing in Gaius' chambers and feeling very strange. Gaius, Gwen, Morgana and Arthur were standing around one of the tables that was normally used for treating injuries or storing papers. Arthur seemed to be sobbing, and Gwen and Morgana were hugging eachother, both in tears. Gaius had a sheet and was preparing to cover something. "Hey!" he shouted, "Gaius?" Nobody reacted. Merlin tried to walk forwards, and found himself drifting. Then he realised. "No! No, no!" He pushed the air below him and felt himself rising. He looked down and saw his own body, being covered over with a thin sheet. He felt sick at the realisation. He was dead. Did that make him a ghost? He drifted back down to the ground and inspected his own hand. To him, it didn't look any different, just like his hand. But if he focused on it for long enough, he could see that it was transparent, and when he moved it it seemed to shift and reform in an eerily fascinating way. He looked up at the sound of Arthur's deep sobs and wanted so badly to put his arms around him, to wipe his tears away and tell him everything was going to be okay. He drifted closer and gently touched his back. A spark seemed to fly between them and Merlin whipped his hand away. Arthur shivered violently and looked around with a tear stained face. Merlin hugged his hand to his chest and fled the room.