Obscurity Amongst the Flame

Kura Miakoda

Wow, I thought I would never see it happen, my mother, she, she past away. It was such a shock to me. She was always a strong woman, elegant and always regal. Though I knew she would not always be there, I childishly believed she would. Yet here I am standing at her funeral, watching her being put to her final resting place. I still cannot believe it. No longer will she give me advice on things that I had no idea about, no longer will she tuck me into bed even though I am too old, and no longer will my mother give me silly smiles when I was not feeling well. Who, I thought, as I glanced next to me at my father, was going to save me from his reprimanding when I was not acting "lady like".

Here I am thinking about myself, but I can only wonder what my father is thinking. He loved her so much though he showed so little outside our home. I never really saw my father admit anything to anyone about the state of his relationship with his family, our family. However I saw the way my father held my mother, the way he'd come to her, the way he would always be there for all of us. My father might not be a man of many words of affection but he is always a man of action. As my mother once told me, "actions speak louder then words, where would you be if not for the actions of your father and I". I never understood that fairly well but when I came of age and my education more in-depth, I knew exactly what my mother meant.

I cannot help but wonder what he is feeling at the moment. Would he miss her? Would he move on to another woman? No, my father does not so easily allow people into his heart. My father's closest advisor once told me that he was surprised my father ever settled down with my mother, nonetheless have children, for he was someone of little trust and at times little heart. I still don't believe him; I can't picture my father without my mother, like an eagle without wings. As for heart, like my mother said where would my siblings and I be if not for the heart my father held for my mother and us.

As the small funeral ended my older sister whispered to me, "You will see mother again, long years from now, the way father met her". I looked to my father with eagerness but alas he looked at my sister with anger and replied, "Do not fill her head with such foolish thinking". He walked away and headed towards his study.

I can still smell my mother's calming scent. It has been a few days since she passed away and no one has really said anything. My two brothers have been in the dojo since yesterday and I am only guessing it is to vent out their feelings towards my mother's death. My father? Locked away somewhere in his study. I haven't seen him since and I worry if he's still mad at both my sister and me. My sister and I have been the only ones that have tried living normal. It is hard though. When we come to eat, my mother's seat is empty and it reminds us all that she will not ever come back to fill it. I have decided however to try my best and keep my spirits high, for everyone's sake and in my mother's memory.

Winds blew harshly and a cold shiver could run through any spine that dared be there. Red eyes and flowing white hair breathed the lasting burn of a death. Such a great power would not simply die when it's shell has become disposable, no, quite the contrary, it would grow and like a flame, take a life of its own and if spread right it can destroy many things. He wouldn't let such a flame be contained and slip from his grasp, no, he'd harvest it and he knew exactly how.

He could not stop thinking about her. There, outside, she lay and he could not reach her. He knew this day would come but he did not know he would be so unprepared for it. He had become to close; to close to something he had learned not to care for. How was it she was plaguing his mind in such a way? He had become so use to her being there at every turn, with her concern and warming embrace. He didn't think he would have to ever miss that. How disgusting of him to feel in such a way, how dare she breed such yearning thoughts.

"Will you always hold me in such a cold manner"?

Ugh, now her voice vexed him. He remembered becoming angry with her and saying a few chosen words to make it known. She was nonetheless hurt and shocked by his words and as she left had said that to him. Since then she would always make him feel guilty when he had become angry with her. Since then he tried his best not to denounce her to himself. Yet, even now the woman could not blame him for his anger, she had passed on to a higher place without his consent. A place he could not reach her, protect her or converse with her. Left him to his children without her to help him, had left him, yes one who in earlier years would have laughed at his own torment now, admitted that she had left him, alone.

She did not wake up. When the announcement of his mother's death was made he could not believe it. He had run to her room to discover she was not there, only the lingering of death's cold presence. He feared all his life of this moment and he was outraged to know that at the moment he least expected it; at the moment he thought maybe she would out live them all, she had not. However that would not compare to the feelings he felt when he saw her there, cold and unmoving, his father had always taught him to show nothing of emotion for that was when your enemies knew all, but it was his mother, his dear and loving mother. She had always been there for him, healed his wounds when his father was too harsh, tell him stories and always shine that smile of never ending pride that he was her son.

He wanted to tear everything to pieces, he was so angry. He had to use every ounce of his energy from keeping from going ballistic. His eyes bled anger but the wound was of pure sorrow. He could hardly keep himself there, as he watched his mother buried, his fists clenched in a white piercing grip. He didn't want to lose her; he didn't want to learn that he had to.

"Mommy will you tell me a bedtime story?"

"Of course, if only you'll promise me, you'll go to sleep"

"I will I will mommy, I promise"

"Pinkie swear?"

"Pinkie swear", the child raised his pinkie to his mother's outstretched one and locked onto it.

"Well where should I start" the woman said and she settled the child in and covered him with the fluffy comforter.

"Lets see, once upon a time, not so long ago, a group of friends started out on an adventure they'd never forget."

"Mommy how come they'd never forget it?"

"You'll see my darling, allow me to finish."

"Ok mommy"

"They're mission was to save the world of an awful evil and hopefully when so they could live happily ever after. It wasn't going to be easy and they knew but they sure weren't going to let that stop them. So they went off into the forest and fought many demons and foiled many evil plots of the awful evil."

Yawn. "Mommy?"

"Yes sweetie"

Slowly closing his eyes and trying to ask his question, "Why were they fighting demons and", another small yawn escaped his lips, "and what's fo…" before the small child could finish he fell asleep. The mother gave her child a small kiss on the forehead before joining her husband at the door and closing it behind them as they left the child to his dreams.

Wow the Lady died. He had never thought he would see the day, nonetheless the day she would become Lady. She had come to mean so much to the lands and all its residents. She was a beacon of hope to the dark and demanding race of whom ruled. Though his master, his Lord was at times cruel with him, his Lady was always there to ensure he was very appreciated. He never thought he would see the day that he would praise her but he could not deny her that. He could not deny her anything by that fact. He remembered her last days, she looked healthier than a strong horse but she had lived far beyond expectation and no one could have asked for more. Her mortality was never discussed; it was a looming threat that no one wanted to address. He remembered once long ago, a little while after giving birth to her second son, that the high council had mentioned it. His Lord was not pleased to say the least and his Lady, she simply stated,

"Let us not think to far ahead, the present is what is demanding our attention now".

How her mortality did not affect her anymore than she showed always confused him. Though long past her prime her death was no less than a shock to the whole of Japan. Maybe it was not just him who thought she would last longer. Surely all she had done in her life would have allowed her the gift of immortality from Kami.

"SESSHOUMARU WAIT!!!"

He turned towards her.

"I loved him yes"

"Woman I have no time for your confessions", he interrupted angrily. She sighed, her shoulders dropping.

"I can't deny that he means something to me, but nothing that compares what you've come to mean to me. I'd be stupid if I let you walk away with not saying at least something. And would you stop calling me woman! I am leaving tomorrow and I just thought you should know but I guess I have wasted my time. " She mumbled something about egos and running in the family before disappearing into the tree line.

She would never forget that day. It was the beginning of their life together and she was so happy. When she gave birth to their first child she had never seen such a beautiful sight. Three births later she was still amazed and completely at a loss for words. She was lucky to have what she had but even she knew it wouldn't last forever. She had the family she always wanted, a little unconventional but nonetheless the family she always wanted.

She was so old and getting older everyday. She told herself that she had to make sure to tell her children everything she could in the little time that she had left. She tried not to think about that until one morning she looked in the mirror, Sesshoumaru getting ready behind her, and noticed her older appearance. She was foolish he was demon; there was nothing to compare.

Enough there was no point in her dwelling on her morality. She lived the life she could and she would spend the remainder of her years enjoying every moment as she had been before this.

She smiled. She'd never felt so alive, so fully at peace. He still loved her after all this time. Four children and over eighty years later she should have known that if she could still find a place next to him every night, that he loved her. She kissed him goodnight, laid her head down and feel asleep with a smile on her face.

Please review. One-shot or not?

S.O.S: I've lost this story that I read once on this site. I'm asking for help if anyone recognizes the following description. I would appreciate any and all help, thank you so much.

As for the story all I can remember is that Sesshoumaru and Kagome are together, and they have one girl and twin boys. I know that Shippo is with them but I can't remember for sure if Rin is, I think so and developing a relationship with someone. One of the most prominent chapters was one where Sesshoumaru comes home and thinks that Kagome has cheated on him so he banishes her from the Western lands. Also one of the twin boys falls into a coma.

Thank-You again and don't forget to review.