A peaceful morning settled over the simple Texas town of Highland as a car with Colorado plates pulled into the Butt-Head residence. From the car emerged Ms. Cartman and her wonderful son. Ms. Cartman rang the doorbell.

After a short delay, the door swung open to reveal two handsome teenagers, Beavis and Butt-Head. Both were enamored with their guest's chest.

"Woah, check it out Beavis. A hot old chick."

"Yeah! Check out her boobs, Butt-Head!"

Ms. Cartman decided to ignore their babbling and move on to business.

"You boys are going to take good care of my precious little angel while I'm here in Texas, now won't you? Beavis, your mother and I have some serious business while I'm here, so I have to trust you not to bother us."

Beavis nodded in deep understanding as he picked his nose. "He's safe with us, ma'am."

Butt-Head was concerned with other things. "We're getting paid two whole dollars for this, right? Alright ma'am, where's the baby?"

Recognition flashed across Beavis's face. "You said hole," he wisely pointed out, while snickering furiously.

Cartman decided to stop poking dog shit in the yard with a stick and see who his babysitters were. He was glad to see that they were not gingers nor appeared to be Jewish. He figured that perhaps, they would be easy to manipulate because they were younger than his usual babysitters, although there were two of them. "Two babysitters? Fuckin' weak, dude," he observed.

Beavis and Butt-Head seemed shocked at the use of profanity by this child, and decided immediately that he was cool.

"Woah, cool, check it out Beavis, we can't even say that word," Butt-Head intelligently quipped.

"Hey Butt-Head, maybe we can say that now! Let me try. Uhh… ****. Dammit, it still doesn't work."

As Cartman realized that his time being babysat might actually kick ass, his mom decided it was time to get going. "I hope you boys have fun, and remember that my sweet Eric needs to be in bed by 8:30. Here's some money for food and to go bowling." With that, she went back to her car and drove off to rendezvous with Beavis's mother, leaving the three alone to become more acquainted.

Beavis, Butt-Head, and Eric Cartman are all watching in amazement, as the nearby bowling alley was ablaze.

"Fire! Fire! FFFFFFFFFire!" Beavis exclaimed. He was overjoyed at being able to say this again. He was free.

Cartman felt free, too. He was really enjoying his babysitters. No other babysitter would let him burn down a building, even a useless one like Whole Foods. "You guys are so awesome! We should burn down Kyle's house next!"

"Uhhh, who's Kyle?" Butt-Head queried.

Cartman was enthusiastic to tell Butt-Head exactly what Kyle was really like. "Kyle is a stupid cheap Jew asshole, and if there's anyone who deserves to have their house burned down, it's him."

Beavis and Butt-Head were convinced of this. Butt-Head was reminded of other stuff that sucks. "Kyle sucks," he spoke in his infinite wisdom.

Cartman smiled and said, "Yes, he fucking sucks!" He paused. "But how are we going to get to his house all the way back in South Park? Do you guys have a car or something?"

"Uhhhh, no." Butt-Head said, as he struggled to remember failing his driving test.

Beavis remembered Stewart talking about getting his driving permit and decided to speak up. "Ummmm, Stewart could take us." He scratched his butt a few times.

"Who's Stewart?" Cartman asked.

"Stewart sucks!" Beavis began ranting. "He sucks! He sucks!"

Cartman trusted Beavis's judgement on the matter. "Okay, but we need to use him to drive us around. Where would this little butthole be?"

"Uhhh, oh, he's probably at school, being a little wussy," Butt-Head thought, another moment of his immense brilliance shining through.

The school situation dawned on Cartman. His school was due to be closed for a couple more days after another UFO crashed nearby in the town, so he failed to consider Beavis and Butt-Head even had school. "You guys skipped school today to help me burn down a fuckin' bowling alley? AWESOME!"

"Yeah little dude, we are pretty cool," Butt-Head pointed out.

At the school, Beavis, Butt-Head, and Cartman wandered around, looking for Stewart. Principal McVicker noticed them and began sweating profusely. It was when he noticed a third member in their party that he really started to lose it. This kid looked as terrifying as Beavis and Butt-Head, but he had intelligence behind his eyes. It turned his blood ice cold at the thought of such a being. He felt the urge to destroy him. To kill him. But as a principal he knew he had to get the students to class, so he suppressed his fears and anger.

"Uhhh, oh no. You boys stop right now! Uhhh, you little bastards need to get to P.E. immediately! Coach Buzzcut is going to teach you a lesson for skipping! Especially that fat kid with you."

Cartman was wary of this stranger, and didn't appreciate immediately being called fat. "I AM NOT FAT YOU DONKEY RAPING SHIT EATER!" He squared up to McVicker, ready to attack if further provoked.

"Uhhhh, I don't have time for this, get to P.E. right now!" McVicker screeched, as he grabbed Beavis and Butt-Head by the ears and pulled them to P.E. Cartman opted to follow them since he figured he could help bust them out easier.

Coach Buzzcut was not pleased with Beavis and Butt-Head skipping his class for the third time this week. He was about to give them a piece of his mind when he noticed a kid following them around. "BEAVIS! BUTT-HEAD! WHY HAVE YOU BROUGHT A CHILD INTO YOUR MESS?"

Butt-Head was ready with an answer. "Uhh, we're babysitters."

"Yeah! We're getting paid," Beavis added.

Buzzcut was concerning himself over the child's safety. "WHAT MAKES YOU TWO MISERABLE BAGS OF ATROPHY THINK YOU ARE CAPABLE OF HANDLING ANOTHER PERSON?! YOU CAN'T EVEN HANDLE YOURSELVES!"

Cartman didn't really care that insults were being hurled at his new companions, but this was slowing their progress. "Hey asshole, we were doing just fine until that dickhead principal showed up! We didn't even want to be in this fuckin' dump!"

Buzzcut was steaming. This little fat kid was yelling at him?! Who did he think he was? "Well, chubby! Maybe you should be joining your miserable little friends in some exercises! Get the hell over there with the other kids and climb the ropes!"

"YOU THINK I'LL LISTEN TO YOU AFTER YOU CALL ME CHUBBY?! You can go fuck yourself!" Cartman screamed as he sat down right on the spot, arms crossed, refusing to move. This only served to make Buzzcut more pissed off.

"GET YOUR FAT ASS UP A ROPE RIGHT NOW! I DON'T CARE IF YOU AREN'T ONE OF MY STUDENTS! GET GOING, NOW NOW NOW!"

Cartman didn't move from where he was sitting. "You can't make me, fuckin' prick!"

Buzzcut's face was bright red. "THE HELL I WON'T MAKE YOU!" He grabbed Cartman by the back of his red coat and threw him high up at the rope, forcing Cartman to grab it.

Cartman gripped the rope for dear life, scared but still very much pissed off. "WHAT THE FUCK, DICKHOLE! I'm just a little boy! You can't fuckin' do this to me!"

Before anyone could respond, the bell rang. Cartman fell, landing hard right on Beavis, who was standing almost directly below him.

"Ahh! Get this kid off of me Butt-Head!" Beavis cried out.

Butt-Head thought about how Beavis cried out like a little baby for a moment, then resumed laughing at him.

"Hey Beavis, you cried!" he said, as he laughed hysterically.

Beavis was still squirming on the floor. "Shut up, Butt-Head!"

Beavis pushed Cartman off of him, and he landed with a thud. Cartman was on the verge of tears, but managed to hold it in. He needed to show his babysitters he was tough; and also not show weakness in front of Buzzcut, who was still watching nearby.

"YOU PATHETIC WASTES OF FLESH ARE LUCKY THE BELL RANG AND SAVED YOU! IF I HAD ANY MORE TIME, TUBBY OVER THERE WOULDN'T BE SO TUBBY ANYMORE!"

Cartman was still feeling embarrassed from his P.E. experience and remained flopped on the ground, but still whispered a "fuck you" towards Buzzcut.

Butt-Head was dragging Cartman around by his leg to Mr. Van Driessen's room when they all noticed music coming from his door. "Oh no, he's singing again."

"Come with me, Lesbian Seagull. Settle down and rest with me. Fly with me, lesbian seagull... 🎶"

Beavis was bracing himself to enter the room. "Oh boy, here we go."

The music stopped as soon as he opened the door. Mr. Van Driessen decided to greet them all. "Oh, hello, Beavis and Butt-Head! Oh! And who did you bring with you to join us today?"

Cartman was shocked and utterly disgusted. Standing before him… His ultimate enemy, aside from gingers. And Jews. And minorities. A hippie! Not only was he a hippie though, he was a hippie teacher! He jumped up and stood in horror for a few moments. "Oh my God. Are you guys seeing this bullshit? There's a goddamn HIPPIE teaching a fucking class!"

"Now now young man, hippie or not, I am still a teacher and I would appreciate it if you had a seat so I could begin my class, m'kay. You can sit next to Beavis and Butt-Head in the back," Van Driessen gestured towards their respective seats.

Cartman took a threatening step towards Van Driessen. "I do NOT take orders from dirty hippies! All you guys do is smoke weed and smell bad!" He grabbed a ruler off the desk and began smacking Van Driessen in the shins with it.

"Oww! You need to sit down right now so I can wrap up this lesson on Hispanic culture. Today we get tacos to celebrate the end of this lesson, m'kay," Van Driessen said, as he pulled wrapped up tacos out of a bag.

"Oh wow, that dirty skank Jennifer Lopez ate tacos every day! If only that Mexican bitch were here now..." Cartman commented before looking around the room for a marker to write on his hand.

Van Driessen was starting to lose his patience a little more with his class guest. "That's enough snooping around. It's high time I started class for today, so please have a seat or I will have to send you three to the principal's office."

"Shut up, buttmunch! He's going to give us free food." Butt-Head whispered to the still flustered Cartman.

Cartman weighed his options (breaking the metaphorical scale because he is fat). He could either stay in this asshole hippie class and learn absolutely nothing but get free food or leave and not waste time nor get free food. He went for the third option, which was to grab all the tacos and run. He pulled it off spectacularly, leaving Van Driessen, Beavis, and Butt-Head behind. Beavis and Butt-Head immediately decided that this was cool, and walked out of the room after him, giggling.

On the contrary, Van Driessen was unimpressed. He began chasing Cartman, yelling, "Hey little boy! Where are you going?!" He had the homefield advantage from working at the school for so long and knew the layout of the building well.

Cartman wasn't sure where he was going and just ducked into a random room. It happened to be the teacher's lounge. Unfortunately for him, Coach Buzzcut, Principal McVicker, and the school janitor were all in there having a good smoke. Figuring he was busted, be began stuffing his face with as many of the tacos as he could before someone tried to stop him.

Van Driessen finally caught up to the boy and froze as he took in the sight before him. Everyone in the room was gawking at both of them, looking confused. Principal McVicker decided to finally take some action to eliminate the new threat in his school before it became more of a problem. "Uhhh, everyone to my office RIGHT NOW! Uhhh."

Van Driessen, Buzzcut, Beavis, Butt-Head, and Cartman all crammed into Principal McVicker's office, as he sat behind his desk, shaking violently.

"Uhhhh Beavis and Butt-Head! I would expect you boys to cause problems, uhhh, but now you've added this young man to your group and he's acting even worse than you. If you, uhhh, sons of bitches don't shape up, you'll be expelled! You are sentenced, uhh, to cleaning the teacher's lounge because that little fat kid with you made a mess with that, uhhh, food Van Driessen gave you."

"Damn it, we don't have time for this. We need to find Stewart so he can drive us places," Butt-Head argued.

Cartman wasn't going to clean the lounge anyway, but remembered a crucial detail about what was going on in his hometown. "Maybe it's best we don't go to South Park yet, goddamn hippie music festival is supposed to be going on… That's why I wanted to go with my fucking mom anyway."

This caught Van Driessen's attention. He decided to pry for further information. "Music festival? That sounds like a lot of fun! Principal McVicker, would I perhaps be able to take my class there on a field trip tomorrow? After the boys clean the teacher's lounge, of course."

McVicker saw this as a perfect opportunity to get all the people causing him trouble out of the way for a while at once, and decided to grant this request. "Uhhh, all right, but the teacher's lounge better be spotless, uhhh. If not, Beavis and Butt-Head will be expelled!"

"Dammit I don't wanna clean! This sucks! I'm going to go home and spank my monkey," Beavis objected and kicked a nearby trash can.

Butt-Head slapped him. "Shut up dillhole, field trips kick ass! Let's make this kid do it. We are his boss."

"Gentlemen," Cartman spoke. "Didn't you mention a little pussy by the name of Stewart? Why can't we make him do this?"

"Woah! That's pretty cool," Butt-Head exclaimed, shocked by the genius Cartman had shown.

Beavis, Butt-Head, and Cartman all decided to resume their search for Stewart. Cartman couldn't wait to find out what this little boner was like. He pictured a Jewish ginger, then realized he was just imagining that fucking daywalker Kyle.

"Damn, this Stewart guy must be a little bitch, right Beavis?" Cartman asked, now curious about who he would be meeting.

This question was met with enthusiastic confirmation from Beavis. "Yeah! Stewart still owes us porn, too." He reached up and picked his nose again.

The mention of porn reminded Butt-Head of a possible location of Stewart. "Uhh, I bet that little wiener is in the library."

The trio made their way to the library, hoping that Stewart was there, possibly with internet porn to share.