I've had a few requests for oneshots in the Parsel universe, and I decided to oblige. I think I'll continue doing this as long as I get or am given ideas by you lovelies, but we'll see. This is the first one I decided to do – Harry's first shower. Hope you enjoy!
This one is thanks to the request of RicardianScholar Clark-Weasley – I hope this satisfies you!
This is in the same world as Parsel. You should maybe, possibly, read that to understand what's going on here. Just a thought. ;) It can take place any time in the first few weeks when Harry is with Sirius and Remus, but before Sirius finds out he's an Animagus.
Warning, though – it is a bit…crude, I suppose, for lack of a better word. That's purely because of the theme. I tried to make it as clean as possible, but…*shrug* If you're offended about an eleven-year-old being toilet trained, go somewhere else. This isn't for you.
That said, hope the rest of you enjoy it!
...
"Silas!"
Silas looked up from where he'd just finished creating yellow snow in the backyard. Sirius was looking at him with widened, shocked eyes from the kitchen window, and Silas couldn't begin to understand why. Maybe it's because he was naked again. Sirius and Shyam-Seff seemed to worry a lot about him getting cold, and made him wear uncomfortable clothes in the hopes of fending off the chill.
He walked toward the house, stepping back into the warm kitchen and giving his godfather a confused, questioning look.
"Silas, don't go outside for that," Sirius said, now fighting a smile from breaking over his face. "Use the bathroom next time, alright?"
Silas nodded, though he didn't really understand what the big deal was.
…
"Silas!"
Silas looked up from the table where he'd been eating a ham and bacon sandwich (the ham being the bread, of course). Sirius' voice came from upstairs, and he sounded a mix of baffled, amused, and shocked. He didn't know what would cause such a reaction, but he got up anyway and went to the stairs, looking up to see Sirius just appear at the top.
"Did you pee on the floor?" Sirius said, the dominant emotion on his face being bewilderment.
"Ppee?" Silas repeated, unfamiliar with the word.
Sirius seemed to realize this after a moment and clarified, "Relieve yourself. Urinate. Take a leak. Did you?"
Oh. "Yyy-esss," Silas said simply.
Sirius seemed shocked at his straightforward and honest response said without an ounce of shame. "Why?" he finally managed.
Silas frowned a bit. "Yy-ou – ttt-ollldt – mmme – tto – yyyu-sse – thhhe – bpathh-oomm – nnexx – tttiiiii-mme," he reminded him.
Sirius slapped a hand to his face. "Not what I meant," he informed the boy, looking back at him. "Don't go peeing on the ground at all, let alone in the house. That's what we've got plumbing for." He suddenly seemed to notice his state of undress. "And what happened to your clothes again?"
…
"Silas!"
Silas looked up, seeing Sirius standing in the bathroom doorway and gazing at him with wide eyes, studiously keeping his gaze on his face. The last few drops dripped to the floor of the shower with a couple of dull taps, and he climbed out, keeping a hand on the wall for balance.
"Silas," Sirius finally said patiently. "Why are you peeing in the shower?"
Silas sighed, somehow knowing that he'd done something wrong and yet not knowing what it was. He wished his guardians could be more straightforward about teaching him to be a human. It was very hard trying to learn from inferring things in action and conversation around them.
"Plllumm-een," Silas explained, pointing to the shower he'd just peed in.
Sirius seemed to be debating the urge to chuckle or bang his head on the wall. "I meant the toilet, Silas," he said with a sigh, walking in further and lifting the lid to the object Silas still didn't know the purpose of. He looked in and saw it was about half full with water, with a hole at the bottom.
"Tell you what," Sirius said, dropping the lid back down before Silas could ponder too much on how the toilet worked. "To avoid further confusion, next time you need to pee, come and get me or Remus and either of us can help you out." No way was he letting a wolf anywhere near his vulnerable penis, but Silas wasn't going to tell him that. He only nodded his agreement.
"Good!" Sirius said, clapping his hands once, and then he stopped short and stared at Silas for a moment before sighing tiredly. "We really need to get you in the habit of always wearing clothes, kiddo. If not for warmth, then for modesty."
…
"Silas!"
Sirius cheerfully greeted his godson, visibly pleased to see him, and then they dropped to where Silas was clutching at his crotch as though to stop himself from peeing. He smiled a bit in amusement – and fondness, because like that, he looked so much younger then than he normally did and it was quite adorable.
"Ah," he said understandingly. "Need help?"
Silas said nothing, only glaring as though to say, get on with it! – but Sirius was already getting up, steering him to the bathroom with one hand on his elbow.
Sirius lifted the lid and then stepped back, directing, "Now pee in the bowl."
Silas obeyed, releasing his grip at once, but his aim was completely off and the stream hit the seat as well as the floor.
"No!" Sirius exclaimed, grabbing his godson's hand and using it to aim his penis to the inside of the bowl. "You have to aim with…" He trailed off and sighed as only the last few drops made it to the water. Letting go of Silas, he waved his wand, cleaning up the rest of the mess.
Silas was gazing up at him with a questioning look, wondering if he'd done it right this time, so Sirius bestowed a smile on him. "Very good, Silas," he praised. "Next time just use your hand to aim so none of it gets anywhere but the bowl, alright?"
Silas nodded, and Sirius leaned over to flush the toilet. "Always flush when you're done," he instructed. "And wash your hands." He directed Silas to the sink, helping him wash his hands with the soap sitting next to the faucet.
"And now," Sirius said when they were done, "We find you some clothes."
…
Sirius was happy that Harry had finally learned to pee in the toilet. It had begun getting rather tiresome finding a puddle of urine in the oddest of places – sometimes finding it by stepping in it. And Sirius had discovered that Harry had also wet the bed several times, but never told them as he didn't think it was a big deal. He supposed it made sense, after having lived in a forest all his life, where going to sleep it must not have ever smelled like a bed of roses. Sirius was just glad that Remus had gone to change the sheets and noticed the smell, and now he'd got Harry to tell them any time he wet the bed. He never would've thought he'd be toilet training an eleven-year-old, but here he was.
Taking a sip of coffee, he wondered where his pup was now. It had been rather quiet this morning, and Remus was out grocery shopping. Usually Harry could be found with Sadi in any of the downstairs rooms, now that he was emerging from his bedroom more as time went on.
He happened to glance out the window into the backyard, and suddenly dropped his mug in astonishment, spilling coffee and chips pieces of porcelain all over the ground.
Coming out of his stunned lack of movement, he went quickly to the back door and opened it.
"Silas!" he called out, louder than normal in his shock. "The toilet is not just for you to pee in! It is also for pooping!"
…
Haha I was laughing my way through this. Hope you guys enjoyed – thanks for reading!
P.S. Because I posted this, it will be a couple more days before I post the next chapter of Parsel. Sorry to keep you waiting! I just need to get some editing done with Chapter 12.