That's the way I loved you

by lunylovegoodlover

Lily Evans has the best boyfriend on the planet. The only problem is that she's only dating him so he'll notice her best friend. One night, she becomes aware of a second problem, and decides to fix them both for once and for all.

He is sensible
and so incredible
And all my single friends
are jealous
He says everything
I need to hear
and it's like
I couldn't ask
for anything better

He opens up my door
and I get into his car
And he says
you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine

I rolled over in bed, waking. I had been reliving that afternoon in my dreams. Frank was the best boyfriend anyone ever had. I couldn't ask for anything better; he was kind and told me everything I needed to hear. He's so perfect, I almost love him. But I can't. Because the only reason I'm dating him is for Alice. She's had a crush on him for years, but he never noticed her. When he asked me out, I only said yes so maybe he would see her. Alice was shy, and Suzy (my other best friend) and I were so loud that many people had never heard Alice talk outside of class. I had to remind myself that I was dating Frank for Alice more and more often, though.

But I miss screaming and fighting
and kissing in the rain

But…there were things I missed from my first, insane relationship. James Potter had convinced me to go out with him in our seventh year. That decision had resulted in a ton of chaos. I don't think there was ever a couple at Hogwarts that dated like we did.

Just be honest with yourself, for one, Lily, I told myself. Admit that you miss screaming a James, miss the way you would be yelling at each other one instant, laughing with each other the next.

And it's 2am
and I'm cursing your name

"This is stupid!" I said aloud. "You have a boyfriend, James, no Potter, is dating, you two are OVER!"

I got out of bed and started throwing things around the room, cursing Ja-Potter.

I'm so in love
that I act insane

And that's the way
I loved you

By the time I was done, it looked like a hurricane had swept through the room. I smiled, remembering how often my dorm at Hogwarts had looked just like this. James had been so infuriating that I had to let all that annoyance out somehow. That had been how I loved him.

Breakin' down
and coming undone
It's a roller coaster
kinda rush

I collapsed on my bed, sobbing. I felt like I was on a roller-coaster. I was flying up and down at incredible speed, yet it wasn't scary at all. Instead, it was exhilarating.

And I never knew
I could feel that much
And that's the way
I loved you

I never knew that I could love someone this much. It was so different with Frank. I never felt this way about him. But that's the way I loved James.

He respects my space
And never makes me wait
And he calls exactly
when he says he will
He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father
He's charming and endearing
And I'm comfortable

My parents liked Frank. They had been shocked when I told them I was dating James. I could hear their protests like it was yesterday.

"But he's been harassing you for years!"

"But you hate him!"

"Are you sure he's changed?"

With Frank, it was different. He knows enough about muggles to talk business with Dad, and he's so charming that Mom is half in love with him. I never have to worry about what he's going to do next, unlike with James.

Come on, I thought. This is insane. You were right to break up with Potter. He was driving you crazy, your parents didn't approve, and you were never meant to be together. It's over. Done. Forget about it. But I couldn't.

He can't see the smile I'm faking
And my heart's not breaking
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all
And you were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating intoxicating
Complicated, got away
by some mistake and now

In one last attempt to tell myself I was NOT in love with James, I rolled off my bed and went over to my desk. I pulled out a sheet of parchment and a quill, and started two lists. Five minutes later, this is what they looked like:

Good Things about Frank:

He's nice

He doesn't keep me waiting

He doesn't barge in on me

Mom and Dad like him

Good Things about James:

He makes me feel like myself

He understands me

He's not the boy my best friend is in love with

I hesitated, then added one last point to the second list.

I love him

Sighing, I gave up. I changed into my robes, and apparated to the Potter residence in Godric's Hollow. When I got there, I cautiously rang the door bell. I assumed that James would be alone, as his parents had been murdered by Lord Voldemort while we were in our 6th year. So I was shocked when Frank, of all people, opened the door.

He seemed just as astonished. "Lily?" he whispered. There was something like panic in his eyes. As I watched, it was replaced with determination. "Can I talk to you?" he asked. "I was going to in the morning, but since you're here…"

I nodded dumbly, wondering what he wanted. The sight of him had taken all of my resolve out of me. We walked over to the large weeping willow that stood in James' front yard.

"Lily…" Frank seemed unsure as to how to start. Then he took a deep breath and said, "I have to break up with you."

I had been staring at the ground, but at this, my head snapped up. He must have seen the shock in my eyes, and not the relief, because he hurried into an explanation.

"The thing is, I never was really dating you for you. I've had a crush on Alice for a long time, and I wanted her to notice me, but-"

I cut him off by bursting into laughter. Between giggles, I told him the whole story.

"Alice has had the biggest crush in the world on you since first year! But she's so quiet, and we're so loud that no one ever sees her. The real reason I said yes to you was that I wanted you to notice her."

By the time James and Sirius came out to see where Frank had gone, we were both howling with laughter.

"What's going on?" James demanded.

"Come on, Prongs! Can't you see that the little love-birds are having a midnight laugh?" Though his words were rough, the joking tone was forced. I could tell that he was trying to give James time to get used the pain of seeing his friend laughing with his ex-girlfriend.

I froze. Frank saw that I looked like I wanted to kill Sirius, and remembered that I probably hadn't made this visit to see him. Comprehension dawned on his face as he saw the look in my eyes when I saw James. Grabbing a protesting Sirius, he went inside.

"What's going on?" James repeated.

I said something intelligent like, "I…we…umm…well, you see, aah…yeah," then blurted out, "It was all a mistake!"

"What was?" James was understandably confused.

"Us breaking up, me dating Frank, everything! I broke up with you for some stupid reason that I don't even remember, and then Frank asked me out to get Alice to notice him, and I said yes to get him to notice her, and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down!" Though James' tome was causal, I could see the hope in his eyes. "What are you saying?"

I hesitated, wondering if this was really what I wanted. Then, "I love you." I said it quietly, almost shyly.

There was silence for only a moment before I heard Sirius yell, "Kiss her, Prongs!" Just as James began to take Sirius' advice, there was a clap of thunder and it started to rain.

The next day, the gossip columnist for the Daily Prophet had a lot to write about. Frank Longbottom dumped Lily Evans for Alice Montgomery and James Potter dumped Marlene McKinnon for Lily Evans. Basiclly, we all lived happily-ever-after.

I miss screaming and fighting
and kissing in the rain

And it's 2am
and I'm cursing your name

I'm so in love
that I act insane
And that's the way
I loved you

Breakin' down
and coming undone
It's a roller coaster
kinda rush

And I never knew
I could feel that much
And that's the way
I loved you

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