Title: Building the Rapport
Author: Dragonflies Girl aka Ki Ki
Disclaimers: Not mine, just borrowing them out to play. I'll return them when they're done – pinky swear!
Spoiler: Up until The Fortress. Probably right after it.
--
He never knew he was so easy to read, so transparent with his emotions. He had always thought he was good with hiding his emotions, what with his army training and all. Maybe he really was, to the right woman.
Or, Jules Callaghan was just that good.
She had seen right through him the moment he stepped into her hospital room. From her position in the bed, the sunlight was hitting her in just the right angle, giving her a soft glow with her brunette hair and skin. Still, she looked a little too pale for his liking, but he had to admit that she was looking more and more healthy every day.
"Hey," she murmured as he walked in through the door. "What's wrong?"
He tried to downplay his shock, but was obviously failing as she gave him a pointed look, "Nothing."
"Do I look like I got brain damage, Braddock?" she challenged him defiantly, and he shrugged.
Instead of answering, he bent down to kiss her on the forehead and set the new plant he had gotten her on her bedside table, "How are you feeling, sweetheart?"
She sighed, leaning in against him a little before answer, "I just want to get out of bed and walk. I miss rappelling down the building."
"I know, Jules, I know," he tried to placate her, knowing how hard it must be for her to be alone, in the hospital room, restricted in terms of what she could and could not do.
"Then you should know better than to aggravate me and keep things from me," she accused him lightly, her index finger poking at his side softly.
He should have known it would be too easy to just drop the topic with Jules. This drive of hers was just one of the things that attracted him to her; it just wasn't as appealing to him when she turned that focus onto him.
Running his fingers through her hair, he took a seat in the chair by her bedside in hope of gathering his thought.
It wasn't that he was reluctant to share news about the team with her. No, he knew she wanted to know as much as possible, for her to still feel as though she was part of them, that she still mattered to the people she had been calling her family for years.
It was just hard for him to articulate how difficult it was to see someone other than Jules walking into her dressing room. It was as if having Donna working alongside the team hadn't cemented that fact for him, but watching her use what had belonged only to Jules a mere weeks earlier had nailed that reality in his mind.
There was no more denying something had changed with the team.
"They have found a replacement, haven't they?" Jules said softly, emphatically.
Words blocked in his throat; he simply nodded, not meeting her eyes.
"How is he like?" she asked. He could sense the slight panic, slight insecurity in her voice as she asked. Her voice didn't waver much, but her hesitation was clear to him as the blue sky outside her room.
"She was – tough," he finally muttered out, not wanting to say anymore.
"I see," her voice wavered a little more, and Sam reached out to take her hand in his. "I guess I can't be so arrogant to think that I'm the only girl who can beat 500 other guys for the position."
He wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he remained silent.
Jules took her time to take a deep breath, easing out the tension he could feel in her, before starting again, "So what is she like?"
"I don't know," he answered truthfully.
Truth was he hadn't taken the time to really get to know more about Donna. He had walked away when she first joined the gang – slightly disgusted by his teammates' lack of inhibition in welcoming someone to the family so easily, slightly apprehensive with how the team could welcome someone to replace Jules so easily. He was glad when Ed had paired Donna with him when they went in. He knew he couldn't trust her yet. Every time he turned around since that day on the roof, he half expected Jules to be at his side, watching his back.
He and Jules had a rapport. They had a rhythm. They had a connection.
Donna simply wouldn't cut it in his mind.
"Haven't you guys gone out on cases or did some training together already?" she queried, "I mean, I'm sure Sarge wouldn't let her out with the team without at least some team bonding exercise, like we did with you."
"We did," again, he answered softly, "But I really didn't pay much attention."
A ghost of her smile graced her lips as she squeezed his hand, "Sarge would have ridden your quite hard if he had heard you say that."
"Well, it's a good thing that it'll stay between us, isn't it?" he tried to take her lead, to force some humour into this conversation, but his heavy heart would only give a subpar effort.
He imagined it was the same with her.
"Sam," she started again, this time her voice firmed, "you can't just ignore her."
"I know, it's just – God, Jules, she's not you."
"I know she's not me," she snapped, and Sam winced at the tone of her voice. Indeed, he should be the one making sure she was emotionally well, not the other way around. "But she's there and I am not, and you need to trust her because she's on your team and you can't go about doing stupid things just because you don't like the new girl on the team."
"The temporary girl," he countered quickly.
There was no doubt in his mind. Donna was only there temporary, to keep things functioning before Jules made her way back. There was no doubt in his mind.
"I might never make it back, Sam," she reminded him softly, the sliver of sadness and hesitancy creeping back into her voice again. "I mean, I still have a long way to go, and even after I am ready physically, I still have to go through that psych eval. God, I hate that psych eval."
He had to chuckle at the vehemence she said those words, as if just mentioning the evaluation was enough to make her upset, "I know you do, sweetheart. I know you do."
She was tugging on his hand then, urging him to look at her, and when he did, he was held captive by the expressions he saw in her eyes.
"Promise me one thing, Sam," she started carefully. "You need to let go of whatever it is that you are feeling towards Donna and start treating her as your teammate. You don't have to like her or be best buddy with her, but you need to at least trust her. You can't do this without trusting the people on your team. You'd not only jeopardize yourself, but everyone else."
He continued to look at her, taking in her words, knowing she was right, but also knowing that it wasn't something he could do easily. Sam Braddock was not easily convinced to change his minds, even when it came to Jules Callaghan.
"Sam?" she prompted again, "Promise me. You need to do this."
He sighed then, knowing this wasn't a battle he could win. "Just until you come back to us."
"I already told you, I may not – "
"No, Jules," he cut her off, not willing for her to dwell on that fact. "I promise you I'll learn to trust her, and you'll promise me you will work to get back to us, to me."
She looked at him long and hard, and he steeled himself from looking away. This was a moment of truth for them, this was the time to affirm that he would be there for her, no matter what, that he needed her in his life, no matter what.
"Let's do that, then," she promised softly.
"Yea," he brought her hand up and grazed his lips softly against the back of her hand. "Let's do that together."
--
Phew, this is done. I've been waiting to do a piece like this for a while now for Sam and Jules ever since we know that she's out of commission for a while, but I wasn't sure how Sam would react… admittedly, I find his major reluctance to accept Donna almost too much of a juxtaposition to the team's almost eerie jubilee in welcoming someone to replace an injured teammate. It was just a little too weird for me…
But I hope I have explored their emotions well in this one… I mean, I'm basing this on that one brief scene between Sam & Jules at Business as Usual, but really, I know if I were Jules, I would be worried about losing my spot on the team…
Lemme know what you think of this, k?
Until next time.