My stories are part of a series, this may be confusing without having read the prior tales! If you choose to read, the main things you'll need to know are that Phineas, Ferb, Candace and Perry are able to communicate via translator - PnF remember the Second Dimension adventures now, and as of recently, Candace has also begun using the translator. Happy reading!

Peter the panda snuck down the west hall of the O.W.C.A.

He stopped in front of an empty section of the wall.

Slowly, very slowly, he reached into his pocket…

WHIP!

BAM!

"Peter, what are you doing?" Perry the platypus asked.

"What does it look like?" Peter responded, smoothing a large piece of paper onto the wall. "I'm putting up a poster."

"Very violently. Why'd you slam it on the wall like that?"

"I'm pretending I'm in an action movie." Peter said. He stepped back. "What do you think?"

The poster depicted Peter holding up a large heart, upon which the words COME TO THE O.W.C.A VALENTINE DANCE (SPONSORED BY THE SAVE THE PANDAS FOUNDATION) were printed.

"Nice." Perry said. "If you ask me, though, we have way too many events. …Shouldn't you wait until February to put that up?"

"People need time to find a date." Peter said.

Carrie the cat walked by.

"Hey, Carrie!" Peter said.

Carrie stopped and looked at him.

"Guess what? I'm in charge of the Valentine's Day Dance this year!" Peter pumped his fist. "All proceeds go to the Save The Pandas Foundation!"

Carrie burst into tears and ran back the way she had come.

Perry raised an eyebrow. "That was a weird reaction."

Peter shrugged. "After the Decorate Everything Movement during the Holiday Party, most agents have been kind of negative toward me planning any events. So, are you gonna bring a special someone to the dance?"

Perry shook his head. "I don't really do dances. How about you?"

Peter thought for a moment. "Well… I couldn't choose between Lydia, Veronica, Alice, Debbie, Lorelai, Louise, Greta and Marcie, so I was thinking I'd just take my sister Prissy. Or maybe I should take everyone. But I'm not sure if non-agents are allowed in the O.W.C.A…"

"You lead a strange life, Peter." Perry said.

"Please." Peter said. "Your love life is way more complicated than mine."

Perry sat down next to Pinky the Chihuahua in the O.W.C.A cafeteria. "They have egg noodles today! I must savor each and every one."

Pinky was staring at Carrie, who was waiting in the lunch line. She seemed to be very interested in the floor. "I'm concerned about Carrie."

"I'll be concerned later." Perry took a forkful of pasta. "Right now I'm living in the moment. A moment filled with eggy, noodley goodness."

"She looks really upset." Pinky said. "Do you think we should… I don't know. Should we talk to her?"

"About what?" Perry wiped his mouth with his napkin. "The solar system? Look, Pinky, I don't know Carrie all that well, but if it were me, I don't like talking to just anyone when I'm upset. She probably has some friends she can talk to."

Carrie left the food line and started toward an empty table.

"Hey, Carrie!" Pinky shouted. "Come over here."

"Or we could just call her over and watch the chaos unfold." Perry muttered.

Carrie looked frightened. She glanced behind herself, as though looking to see if Pinky was addressing someone else.

"Yes, you." Pinky said. "Come on."

Carrie sat down across from them, shoulders hunched.

"Why so nervous?" Pinky asked. "You know us."

"I thought maybe you'd be mad at me." Carrie said, her voice wobbling. "Even though it's not my fault."

"Mad at you for what? Wait… were you the one who caused the pizza oven to catch fire?" Perry asked.

Carrie shook her head. "That was Ned the narwhal."

"So what's wrong?" Pinky asked.
Carrie started to cry. Perry watched her for a few moments before awkwardly handing her a napkin.

"I… I hate boys!" Carrie choked.

"No offense taken." Perry said.

"No… no, not you… no… just Devon!" Carrie took the napkin from him and sobbed into it.

"Aw, Carrie…" Pinky said. "Did something happen between you and Devon the dog?"

"W…we b-broke up." Carrie whimpered. "I… I thought maybe he told you and you thought I b-b-broke up with him. But I d-didn't!"

"Oh no." Perry said. "What happened?"

"I… I don't know! I just… I s-s-saw him talking to this other girl at the Googolplex Mall… some… cocker spaniel… and… and… I didn't think much of it… b-but when I called him… a few minutes later to ask him if he wanted to get ice cream b-because I knew he was at the mall too… he said he couldn't talk because he was at a MEETING!" Carrie threw her tear-soaked napkin across the room. Perry ducked to avoid it. "A meeting! He l-lied to me! So now we're through! Forever…"

Carrie started to bawl. All of the other agents in the room turned to look at her.

"I didn't do anything." Perry said loudly.

Pinky handed Carrie another napkin. "I can't believe Devon would do that. I'm so sorry."

"Y-you don't believe me!"

"I do!" Pinky said. "I just meant… ugh, never mind. Don't worry, Carrie. There are plenty of other people out there. You'll find the right one someday."

Carrie shook her head. Hiding her face in her napkin, she ran for the door, slamming it behind her.

The cafeteria was silent.

After a moment, Jack Russell the Jack Russell Terrier handed a rose to Charlisse the chameleon.

"So, as I was saying before that happened…" Jack Russell said. "Do you want to go to the dance with me?"

"Perrywinkle." Ferb said loudly.

Perry opened one eye. The boys were standing in the doorway of their room.

"Oh good, you're home." Perry climbed out of Phineas's bed. "Feed me."

"Perry, guess what?" Phineas said. "Danville is going to have a Fancy Pants Dance on Valentine's Day, and Ferb and I are arranging it."

"Everyone comes in a fancy pair of pants." Ferb said.

"Lovely." Perry yawned.
"So how was your day?" Phineas asked.

"Were you busy as a button?" Ferb asked.

Perry looked at him.

"That's what we did today." Phineas said. "We invented a new cool saying. It's already catching on."

"Oookayyy." Perry said. "Well… I guess today was all right. Too much drama, though. Carrie and Devon broke up."
"Aww." Phineas said sadly. "Wait… who are Carrie and Devon?"

"Devon the dog and Carrie the cat. Apparently Devon was cheating on Carrie because he lied about being with this girl at the mall."

"Oh no." Phineas said.

"It just doesn't sound right, though." Perry said. "Devon's not the kind of guy to do something like that. Anyway, I know you two are arranging the Pants Dance or whatever, but are you actually going to it?"

"Yeah." Phineas nodded. "We're gonna go all together with Baljeet and Buford and Isabella."

"And my cow." Ferb said.

"That'll be fun." Perry yawned.

"Isn't Valentine's Day awesome?" Phineas spun around. "Holidays are so fun. For the dance, we're gonna make a giant light-up heart that will project the faces of people who are truly meant to be together."

"That sounds like it won't backfire at all." Perry said.

"And a giant statue of neon pants." Ferb said.

"You should come, Perry." Phineas said.

"I don't really like dances. I think I'll do my own thing for Valentine's Day." Perry said.

"One time, when we were little, Ferb and I dressed up as cupids for Valentine's Day." Phineas said.

"I shot people with arrows." Ferb said.

"Oh my." Perry said.

"They were fake arrows." Phineas said. "One time we were going on a plane to go to England to see grandma and grandpa while mom and dad went on a romantic vacation, and we took our Valentine arrows with us. But the airline people made us leave the arrows with mom and dad."

"They said they were weapons." Ferb said.

"I said they weren't weapons because I wasn't going to shoot anybody but the flight attendant still said no." Phineas said sadly.

Perry started to laugh.

"What?" Phineas asked.

"I just pictured you shooting a bunch of people with heart-shaped arrows on the plane."

"Romance in the air." Ferb said.

"Exactly." Perry said. "Maybe the plane people hated visual puns."