AN: First of all, most of you know that I am a huge Jax and Tara shipper, I always will be. That will never change. BUT, sometimes Jax does things- whores- and he makes me furious. In order to get over the anger and get it out of my system so it doesn't bleed into the other stories I do. I have to get it off my chest and that ends up being a short One shot. After he was with Ima I did, What Should Have Been Said. This is my way of getting right with him so I can go on spreading the love with my other Jax and Tara stories.
As always a heart felt thank you to McIlwain.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Sons of Anarchy
"Which is it, Jax? You want me to stay but you don't want me? You love me. You don't love me. You want your whores and porn stars to come before your family? But you don't want me or for me to go anywhere else to find someone who does love me. Your boys? Do you want them to grow up and treat the women they supposedly love like this? You want them to grow up knowing how you treat their mother? Is it really about sex, Jax, or is it the power over someone? That someone does everything you want and say? What type of message does that send, Jax? Do you want the boys to treat me like you do? Because it won't be long before they do." Tara laughs, "Of course you have to be home for them to SEE it. You are ignoring your sons Jax. You're never with them. All you care about is your club and your dick." Tara slams Jax's dorm room door as she walks out.
As fucked up as it is, and he knows it's fucked up, but Jax gets satisfaction when Tara acts like this because if she didn't act like this, then she wouldn't care and wouldn't love him.
Bobby walks in Jax's dorm room. "You know one day she won't bother to come find you. I'm afraid it's going to be soon if you don't change the way you've been acting. I know you love your family, that girl with all your heart. We've all been divorced from women we loved, and some of us still love 'em. It's not something we recommend, because it can't be undone, Jax. You need to fix this before it can't be undone. Soon, Jax. You mourned that girl for ten years and until she came back you were lost and did stupid shit - like marry Wendy for one. Don't be stupid and do it again. Lonely is not a good feeling. Tara's been feeling it and if she leaves, you'll be feeling it. Fix it before it's too late." Bobby doesn't want to say maybe it already is because he wants Jax to try and save his marriage, fix his relationship with his sons.
Jax is impassive about his wife and the love he feels for her and even his sons. He just sees them as part of his legacy, not as his sons he needs to love and nurture.
Tara doesn't know how she managed to get back to Charming and into the position she's in now. Yes, she does. Kohn. And Jax. The two men who have dominated her life and what happens in it.
Jax wakes up and looks down at the blond lying in his arms. It's the first time since Donna's funeral that Jax has slept- there was no sleeping when he was with Ima - actually slept with another woman other than Tara. He turns towards the light shining through the window. Today's the day his family packs up and leaves Charming-without him.
The blond in his arms stirs. "Hello handsome," she purrs. Jax looks down at her and captures her mouth in his forgetting all about his family waiting to see if he shows up to tell them goodbye.
The boys and Tara stop at the garage on the way out of town; the boys insist- Abel insists- that they stop and say goodbye to everyone hoping his father, who hasn't been around in days, would be there.
When Tara's car pulls into the parking lot Bobby looks at Tig and shakes his head. Tig and Bobby meet Tara. With smiles on their face and a tear in their heart they greet the boys. They know Tara sees through their façade, not that she expected Jax to be there in the first place.
Abel jumps out the car and runs up to Tig. "Is my daddy here?" It breaks Tig's heart when the words leave Abel's mouth. A dejve moment stirs within Tig, when his family left him.
"No, buddy. I haven't seen him today he got held up out of town and hasn't been here." Tig looks up at Tara. The steel look on her face determined not break down in front of her children. Tig wonders when she will and when she does how will it affect her. Will she crush under the weight of Jax Teller's deceit and lies- will there be anything left of Tara.
Bobby holds Tara tighter and longer than all the other guys. He remembers what Jax went through when Tara left the first time, and this time he's scared as hell how Jax is going to respond. Staying drunk and fucked up and screwing all the women he can get his hands on and more, or staying fucked up and staying with his new madam. Bobby doesn't understand if Jax is turning his back on his club permanently too, if he is, then why not do it by leaving with his family, not some washed up old used up whore.
Tig knows Tara has no idea that Jax hasn't been around for weeks, nor does Jax plan to be around. That Jax has turned his back on the club also. The guys have been trying to keep all knowledge of that away from Tara and the boys with Nero agreeing it would be best.
Nero pulls into the lot, he just has to see them and tell them goodbye. If anyone of these men was half way honest with Tara, and would tell her the truth if she asked, he would be the one to tell her. It's not loyalty to Jax why the guys aren't saying anything, it's their love and appreciation for Tara that keeps their mouths shut.
"Grampa Nero!" Abel runs straight to the only man who Abel has adopted and felt as his grandpa. Nero picks the boy up and throws him in the air. Abel excitedly tells Nero about the trip he's getting ready to go on and what they will be doing to help get things together to send to children who don't have what they need. That their mother will be working with other doctors when they leave the country to help other kids.
Nero holds Abel closer not wanting to let him go. Nero is already proud of Tara, and the boys wanting to help others. Nero admires Tara for doing this it's the way it should be, they're too good for Jax Teller and he knows it. Yes, Jax knows it, that's why he isn't there. Nero's sure that Tara hasn't told the boys they're never coming back. She will keep their mind and body too busy to think about Charming. Keep them from being sad and have no idle time to ask where their father is, or when they're going to see their uncles again?
Nero might get a few guys and go down and see his grandsons, that's what they are to him. He'd have to call Tara and get permission first. Also, see what's happening with the club- they might too busy to get away for a few days. Nero decides it might be better just to go alone that way he'll just say the club's busy, then he won't have to lie about Jax and selfishly he would be able to have the visit alone with the kids, and Tara.
Nero's mind briefly wonders. I could take Lucius. He'd love to have a family Christmas with a real family. A family that loves each other. Not one in the center where Lucius lives. Santa Claus and presents will take the place of caring they aren't all family by blood just by choice.
Gemma can stay here with her spoiled big boy who doesn't care enough about his family not to let them go, or go along.
After all the guys say goodbye and promise to see the boys when they get back knowing the boys aren't coming back, ever again. They know Tara won't ever pass by the Welcome to Charming sign again, and so does she.
A shift happens. The world rights on its axis- the end of the Jax and Tara era begins- as Jax rides his new business partner, his family rides out of town.